Missing Dreams

Chapter 1

Started:05.03.05

Ended:05.

…Oh, little angel,

Gotta love to fly,

Get up,

Earn your wings tonight,

Little angel,

Just look in my eyes,

Get up,

Earn your wings tonight. ..

Broken Angel, by Hanson

Lily sat down at the Gryffindor table, waiting for all the rest of the students to arrive, and lowered her head into her arms. She was exhausted. She hadn't been able to sleep all night, having been visited by dreams that wouldn't go away.

"They're on their way in, Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall announced as she walked pass Lily so that she could go greet the first years, her dark robes swishing behind her.

"Great," Lily muttered as she lifted her head a took a deep breath. She wasn't looking forward to all of the pitying glances, the snide remarks from the Slytherin's about her parents, or any of the pitying gestures that she was sure to get.

Just as she thought that, students came streaming into the hall, and suddenly the volume rose remarkably high. It sounded like a swarm of bees had surrounded the room.

"Hi, love," came an overly charming voice as someone sat next to her. Lily groaned. Just what she wanted. James Potter.

"Don't call me love, and go away," Lily replied as she looked straight ahead. And found herself looking into a pair of sparkling blue eyes. Great he brought the bouncing Dumbo with him too, she thought as she noticed Sirius.

"I can't," James smirked as he draped his arm around Lily's shoulders. "Seats are all filled up already."

Lily looked around the Gryffindor table and groaned. They were filled up already. "Figures," she muttered darkly as the first years walked in.

She thought back to her first year, and how terrified she had been. She had never seen anything remotely magical before Diagon Alley. And here she was walking through this room with floating candles and moving clouds inside of a all stone room with a stone ceiling. And then there's a hat that talks? she was in awe.

She had been so scared when she had left her parents on the other side of the wall, but then she had seen that there were all these other kids there, and she realized that she truly was a witch. She was still scared about going into a world that she didn't know anything about, but there was nothing that she could do about that.

Before Lily realized it, she was being jerked out of her thoughts. She hadn't even realized that she had been crying at the thought that her parents were dead until she felt a roughened finger brush her tears off her cheeks.

"Don't touch, Potter," Lily sniffed as she turned to look at James and swallowed the tears that wanted to spill over.

"I'm sorry, Lily," James whispered softly as he rubbed her arm genteelly. His eyes widened as he felt how bony she had gotten. It felt as if she had no meat on her bones. And she had black circles under her eyes, making it look as if she hadn't slept in months. She probably hasn't, James thought with a clench of his heart. It hurt to know that she was hurting this bad.

Lily shook off the apology and stared numbly at the first years being sorted.

It seemed like it took hours for the first years to be sorted - even though Lily wasn't paying much attention.

Lily leaned into James' embrace and sniffed. She didn't know why but he was making her feel a little safer than she had been, and cared for. She'd think about why she felt like that with him of all people later. But for now, for now she'd take the comfort that she was getting.

James on the other hand simply continued to hold her, his mind racing with the fact that she was allowing him to hold her in his arms. He wish that he could do something more for her, but he didn't know what to do. James took his eyes away from the beauty in his arms, to look at his best friend who was sitting across from him with a smirk on his face.

James stuck out his tongue and grinned at Sirius as he continued to rub Lily's arm soothingly.

oºoºoº

"And now, I would like to announce your Head Boy and Girl for this year," Dumbledore announced in his gravely voice as he looked over the student population.

"From Gryffindor, there is Lily Evans for your Head Girl, and James Potter as your Head Boy. If you have any questions, you may ask them, or if you need any help," Dumbledore announced as Lily and James stood up and received loud applause from the student body. Though Lily suspected it was more for James due to his popularity than her.

"Now, on to dinner, with a few choice words for you to go by. Sometimes enemies turn out to be your saviors, while sometimes friends will choose to betray those who he had been close to."

With that, Dumbledore waved his hands, and the feast appeared on the tables, at which time, Lily and James took a seat. "So, what classes did you take this year, Lily?" James asked as he started piling food on his plate.

"Same classes as I had last year, Potter," Lily sighed as she picked at the mashed potato's that she had put on her plate.

"Here, eat some," James instructed as he put some Shepard's pie on her plate.

"No thank you," Lily replied in a monotonous voice.

James stared at Lily with a frown. She wasn't Lily. She wasn't yelling at him, there wasn't that special spark in her eyes when she looked at him, she didn't have a book with her, she wasn't laughing, or cursing. She was sitting there. Being lifeless. It wasn't his Lily.

I'm going to get you to see that life goes on Lily. And you're going to laugh again, he swore as he ate his food.

oºoºoºo

"Come, Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, I'll show you your common room," McGonagall announced as Lily and James stood up to exit the Great Hall.

Lily and James followed their aging Transfiguration teacher out of the Hall and down the stairs, then up the stairs, then they passed the Fat Lady, then they passed the Room of Requirement. Then, after what seemed like ten minutes of walking, they stopped in front of a picture of a couple in a tender embrace under a weeping willow and the night sky. "Missing Dreams," McGonagall said, causing the portrait to open, revealing an elegantly homey room.

"Do be good you two, and Miss Evans," McGonagall said as an after thought. "If you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me." with that said, the teacher took her leave of the Head Students.

Lily looked around the room and nearly cried. It was set up the way that her family room had been set up. There was pictures of friends and family members from the Potter family and the Evans' family, there was a comfortable looking tan goose-down couch, two maroon colored arm chairs next to the couch, and a cherry wood table in front with books set on the table top in an attractive looking way, and the walls were lined with books. It reminded her of home.

"Lily?" James asked hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

"I miss my parents so much," she sobbed out as she ran up the stairs and into a room. Unfortunately for Lily, she didn't read the name on the door, and ended up running into James' room. Lily sat on the bed and looked at the pictures next to his bed and gasped. There, sitting in the front along with a picture of James, an older version of James that she took to be his father, and a beautiful looking brunette with blue eyes, was a picture of Lily.

Lily picked the picture up and studied it. She remembered that day. It had been the last day of Fifth Year, and she had gone out to the lake to take a mental picture to last her over the summer. She had sat on a large boulder near the shore, and simply gazed up at the castle with a serene smile on her face. There had been a bit of a gust when the picture had been taken or something, because every once in a while, her hair would blow in the wind, and she raise her hand to push it behind her ears again.

Why does he have this, she wondered with a frown. She had always known that James liked her, but she hadn't know that he had been serious enough to put a picture next to his bed where anyone could see it. Maybe he really does care for me, she thought just as she heard a soft knock on the door.

Figuring that it must be James, Lily sighed and put the picture back where she found it. Getting up, Lily walked over to the door and opened it.

"Sorry for taking up your room," she said in a small voice as she brushed past him. "Have a good night."

"Sweet Dreams, love," James whispered back.

Lily heard the words and frowned. She didn't know what to do with him. And quite frankly, she just didn't have the sanity to figure it out. She had been getting those funny pull feelings in her stomach all night from him, but she didn't know if it was really from him, or because she had been having a hard time eating for a couple of months.

oºoºoºo

James laid down on his bed and sighed. He felt miserable now. He couldn't figure out how to get her to cheer up.

And he didn't want Lily walking around the castle depressed.

He couldn't live knowing that Lily was depressed.

But how would you feel if you saw your parents be murdered? He wondered.

"Like shit."

Sighing, James threw the covers back, put on his shoes, grabbed the invisibility cloak and walked out into the common room, then out of it. Throwing the cloak over his body, he walked toward the direction of the Gryffindor common room.

"Iced Monkey" James muttered to the sleeping portrait.

"No, mommy, don't take my cookies," the Fat Lady mumbled as the door opened, causing James to raise his eyebrows and enter the familiar Gryffindor Common room.

Jogging up the stairs that would lead to the Boys dorm, James walked all the way down the hall and opened the last door. "Wake up!" he yelled as he entered the room and slammed the door shut.

"Damn it James!" Remus groaned and threw a pillow in the direction of James.

"Come on you guys, I need your help, really badly!" James yelled as he walked over to Sirius' bed and shook him awake.

"ghaway," came the muttered reply.

"Sirius, you're missing out on Alyssa Watts stripping in the middle of the room!" James mock whispered into Sirius' ear, causing the said boy to jump up with excited eyes, and end up smacking the top of his head on James' face.

"Fuck! Ow!" James yelped as he held his jaw with a painful expression on his face.

"Where is she?" Sirius demanded as he looked around the room wildly.

Remus laughed and sat up in bed.

"Not here," Remus laughed, then snorted as the disappointed look came onto Sirius face.

James backed away from Sirius he glared at him because he had teased Sirius with the one girl that he hadn't been able to get as hard as he tried. And only James knew how much he really liked Alyssa. She was his Lily.

"Sorry, but I needed you to wake up! I need help! I need to get Lily out of this depression. I don't think that she's eating, she's barely sleeping by the looks of it, and she's not Lily." he cried out and looked at his friends.

"What do I do?"

Authors notes:

Sorry this took so long, but I wasn't even sure if I was going to even continue with this story. I'm still not sure, I guess that I'll just post a few more chapters and see how it goes from there, or if I start to get a flow with the story. So yea.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed! Review please!

Mistress del mare