Missing Dreams

Chapter 2

03.25.07

Lily sat in her bedroom the next morning and simply stared out the window. She had barely slept the night before, and when she had, she had dreamt of her parents. She had tried all of the dreamless sleeping potions and every sleep spell imaginable, yet for some reason, her dreams still filtered through.

She just wanted to be happy again, smile again. To not wake up in the middle of the night shivering with sweat as the memories of her dreams haunted her. But she couldn't. While everyone else was out with friends, Lily was in her room alone. She had no friends at school, or even in her home town. She had always been too busy studying to have friends, or even boyfriends. She had her sister, but Lily had died to Petunia at the age of eleven when she received her Hogwarts acceptance letter.

The only people in the world who truly knew Lily was her parents. And now, they were gone. Simply because they believed in her.

Lily wiped away the tear that fell down her cheek at the thought and forced herself out of bed. She had classes in thirty minutes, and it was double potions with the Slytherins, so she couldn't be late.

Just as she was slipping into her Gryffindor robes, Lily heard a hesitant knock on her door. Frowning, she walked over and opened it.

"Hey, Lily," James smiled when he realized that she was up and ready for classes. "I was just stopping by to see if you wanted to walk down to the dungeons with me and the guys."

Lily looked at James as if it was for the first time. She knew that he liked her, but he had never really approached her as if to help her before. It was either to tell her she was beautiful, or to tell her that she should go out on a date with him. As if she had no choice! But at this particular moment, Lily felt as if she was more than a pretty girl to him, and it made her want to smile. Maybe, just maybe she could find a friend to help her through the pain. Maybe that would make it a little more bearable.

"Yeah, one moment and I'll get my books," she told him as she pushed her deep auburn hair behind her ears and walked over to her wardrobe where she had set her book bag.

"Okay, let's go," she told him as she turned back around.

"Here," James said as she started down the stairs. "Let me take your book bag."

"No, it's okay," Lily protested as James took the strap off of her should and slung it over his shoulder along with his own. "It's heavy Potter, I can take it."

"Lily, my dear, I can handle the few million books that you have in here, don't worry," he told her with a smile as he put his hand in the small of her back and lead her out of the doorway. "Now, no more arguing with me or we'll be late to class, and Greenhorn just loves to have a reason to take points away from us as it is."

"Greenhorn takes points away from our house even if he doesn't have a reason," Lily pointed out as they started down to the dungeons, accepting that she wasn't going to get her book bag back.

"True," James laughed. "But lets try to set an example shall we?"

Lily turned her head and stared at him. "Who hit you on the head?" she asked out of no where.

Turning his head, James' blue eyes locked onto hers and stared. "No-one," he said quietly, his eyes for once serious. "I just realized that there is more to life than getting in trouble and making mischief."

Lily almost tripped over air as she heard the words come out of his mouth. James Potter, not pulling any pranks? Yeah, and she was Queen Elizabeth!

"Not that I won't be pulling pranks or anything," James continued along as if he had heard her thoughts. "But, let's just say that it won't be as bad as it was last year," he told her as he held onto her arm as one of the staircases jolted them.

Lily sighed in frustration as she realized that the staircase just lead them to the opposite side of the hall than where their potion room was. "I hate these damn things," she muttered to herself as she and James turned around and started to head the other way.

"For the most part they aren't so bad," James told her as they fought their way through the throng of students. "Unless of course, they decide to change on you when you're running from Flitch or late for class."

"Which I'm sure that you personally know all about," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Of course I do my dear!" James grinned.

Lily simply shook her head. "Don't call me that," she told him, then walked into the potions room just as the final bell rung throughout the castle.

"Ten points from Gryffindor each for not being in your seats," Greenhorn sneered as Lily and James sat down in the back next to Sirius, Remus and Peter.

"Told you!" Lily whispered as she took her bag from James and took her books and paper out.

"Hey, I agreed!" James protested as he copied her actions.

James couldn't believe how well his luck with Lily was going. He spent the whole day with her! He walked her to every one of her classes – even the ones that he wasn't in with her, they sat together at lunch, and he almost made her laugh a couple of times throughout the day.

He didn't even have a plan to make her happy, yet it seemed as if all Lily really needed was for someone to be near, and he was more than happy to oblige her.

"I will get you Lily Evans," he whispered with a grin as he turned to his nightstand and looked at the picture of Lily that Sirius had given him for Christmas the year before. He hadn't even known that Sirius had taken it. They had all been sitting outside talking about the upcoming Quidditch match when he had seen her sitting a little ways away from him, and he had been awe struck.

James had liked Lily since the first day of school when he had seen her on the Hogwarts Express. Back then, James had been scared of girls. They caused all those funny feelings in him that he hadn't understood. And Lily. Well, Lily caused those feelings plus more.

Smiling, James turned over onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. Remembering the first day that he met Lily always made him smile. He screwed up his first meeting with her so horribly that even to this day he was still amazed that he was living.

An eleven year old James Potter stood outside of a compartment door and simply stared at the girl not much older than he by the looks of it, and gulped. Gee, but she's pretty, he thought with a dopey smile on his face. He straightened up, having realized years ago that it made him look taller, ruffled up always messy jet black hair like his father always did, pushed his silver rimmed glasses further up his nose, and cleared his throat.

And frowned. Maybe she just didn't hear you, he thought as he cleared his throat again hoping to gain the pretty girls attention.

She still didn't look up. With a frown, James looked around, and noticed that his best friend and adopted brother – not that his parents knew this yet – Sirius Black was bouncing down the hall. Literally.

"Hey Sirius! Help me get this pretty girl's attention in here!" he screamed out loud without realizing it.

"Why?" Sirius asked in a sing-song voice. "Are you in love?"

"No! I just want to kiss her!" James shouted in defense, trying not to make it seem like he really liked this girl. Especially since he never talked to her before in his life, yet even then James knew that she was something special. He just didn't want to let his friend know. He would never hear the end of it if he did!

"Excuse me?" came the icy reply from inside the compartment as the girl looked up from her book, her emerald green eyes glaring at James from underneath long auburn eyelashes.

Wow, was all that he could think as Lily as he found out her name was later in the day, yelled at him for being such an egotistical, soulless jerk. And then went on to lecture him for only looking at how pretty she was instead of trying to get to know her, and for assuming that she would want to kiss him.

He didn't let her know that he had been trying to get her attention. He wasn't actually listening to anything she really said at that point.

He was infatuated with her.

James smiled. He was a smart kid to notice that she was special at such a young age. It took him five years to realize that the feelings that he felt for Lily was so much more than infatuation. At the end of their fifth year – when that picture had been taken as a matter of fact, James realized what all those funny feelings years before meant. He was in love with this girl, and no one else was ever going to do for him.

Which, was why he was on the mission to make sure that Lily was happy. That was all that mattered to him.

With a smile, James began to fall asleep, thinking of Lily as always. Just as he almost reached the state of total ovulation which nothing could wake him out of, James heard Lily scream, and was out of bed and flying out the door before he realized what he heard.

Storming into Lily's room, squinting his eyes so that he could see where she was, James made his way over to her bed. "What's wrong?" he asked her as he saw her sitting straight in her bed gasping as the tears flowed down her cheeks and onto her chest.

"I-I keep s-seeing the-em d-d-d-die!" Lily sobbed before she collapsed against James, sobbing into his chest as he sat down on her bed and held her close to him.

James was shocked. He knew that she was at the 'scene of the crime' but he didn't know that she had actually witnessed her parents die. Holding onto her tighter, James couldn't help but thank Merlin that she hadn't died also.

"Oh, Lil," James whispered as he shifted on the bed so that she was sitting in his lap and his back was against the headboard as he rubbed her back tenderly.

"I-I just s-s-s-stood there! I wa-watched him kill them!" she exclaimed before she started to cry harder, her breath coming out in harsh gasps as she tried to breath out of her mouth through all of her crying.

"Shh, it's okay sweetheart," James whispered into her ear as he rocked her. "It's okay."

Eventually, Lily quieted down enough for James to shift them into a laying down position. "Do you want me to go," he asked softly as she curled herself into his body.

"No," she said as she pushed herself even closer to James. It was almost as if she feared that he would leave her too.

"Okay, I won't go anywhere," he told her as he rubbed her arm softly. It wasn't long before he noticed that Lily was asleep, her breath coming out in soft puffs on his naked chest.

He couldn't help but notice after that, that she wore a short, revealing baby blue nightgown that had raised high on her hips, showing a lot of creamy white skin. He was a male after all, and their bodies did not reason with what was right or wrong most of the time. His heart ached for the hurt that Lily was going through, while his body ached for a whole different reason.

Sighing deeply, James kissed the top of Lily's head and tried to get some sleep himself. There was only a couple more hours left before they had to be up to get ready for classes. Not that he was looking forward to them.

Closing his eyes, James smiled. He had dreamt of sleeping with Lily in his arms before, and now he could say that the sensation was nothing at all like the actual fact. She was a perfect fit.

Authors Notes:

Umm…oopsie? Don't kill me!!! I'm sorry! I'm just a little ol' author who lost her muse! It's back though! I promise!

Anyway! Here's chapter 2. it's really sentimental I know. I'm trying to get across Lily's heartache.

I promise, more of the rest of the gang in the next chapter. And more of my usual funny Sirius moments….I love those:D

Review!

Always,

M.D.M