-1Missing Dreams

Chapter 3

Updated 02.02.08

Lily woke up the next morning with a frown. Something heavy was on her. "What the hell?" she mumbled into her pillow as she pushed at the weight that was thrown across her stomache. Except that something was an arm. An arm that was attached to a body. A body that was currently breathing softly behind her.

Slowly, as to not disturb whoever it was, Lily turned her head slightly to the right, and caught a glimpse of messy black hair.

"James?" Lily squeaked softly as she turned her head back around and snapped her eyes shut.

"Mmm, Lily," he groaned in response as he tightened his arm around her.

Just then, Lily's alarm clock went off, signaling the time she needed to get up to get ready for school.

"No," James groaned as he buried his nose in Lily's hair, causing her to giggle. Which then caused James to slowly open his eyes, a confused look on his face as he tried to figure out where the nose came from.

"Good Morning, I think?" Lily grimaced as she turned around.

"You remember last night, right?" he asked slowly, preparing himself for the worse that she could give.e

"Yeah. Another nightmare," was her soft reply as she pulled out of his grasp and sat up. "Thank you for not leaving. The nights tend to be hard for me."

James watched as she got up and moved across the room, grabbing the things that she was going to need for her shower. That was all that he was going to get? Was a 'Thank you'? He wasn't going to be hexed, or hoaxed, or boxed or anything else?

Still watching her, James was frowning even as she disappeared behind the bathroom door. For years he wanted Lily's attitude towards him to change, but not because of this. It almost felt wrong to him.

Sighing, James got out of her bed and headed towards his, still thinking about what it must be like to go through what Lily had suffered.

"Oi! Prongs, where's Mrs. Prongs this morning?" Sirius asked as James sat down next to him at the Gryffindor Table.

"I don't know, she was still getting ready when I left, and she told me to go ahead and go to breakfast, so.." he shrugged as he started piling his plate with food.

"Mates," James whispered as he looked around the Great Hall to make sure that she wasn't close. Looking from Remus to Sirius, he leaned in. "She saw her parents get murdered. She has nightly nightmares about it, she also takes Dreamless potions, and she still dreams about it."

"How is that possible?" Remus asked as he took a bite of his bacon with a frown. "It's called a Dreamless Potion for a reason. It's Dreamless."

"I don't know but I saw a couple of the potions in her room this morning," James shrugged.

"What if He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did something to her when he killed her parents that made it to where the scene replayed in her head every time, no matter what?" Sirius asked around his mouthful of waffles.

"That's a possibility, but don't you think that Dumbledore would have tested for any kind of connection with him?" James frowned and picked at his food.

"Heads up, Lily's coming this way," Remus whispered urgently, knowing that the fiery red-head would blow up- quite literally if she heard what they were discussing.

"We'll finish this later," James whispered back as he looked up towards Lily. Regardless of her hair color, every time he looked at her, the word that always came to mind was soft. She just always looked so...calm, and fragile, and well, soft. There was no other way to describe it. He knew exactly what her temper was, but what was on the inside did not reflect what was on the outside.

"Morning, beautiful," James grinned up towards her as he scooted over so that she could sit between him and Sirius. He didn't know why, but he had a need to protect her, and he didn't want her sitting next to someone besides him or Sirius or Remus.

"Good morning," she half smiled as she picked up a bowl of fruit and frowned at Sirius. "Do you ever eat with your mouth shut?"

"Nofth!" he said shaking his head at her.

"What is our world coming to?" she sighed as she speared a piece of cantaloupe.

"With Sirius by our side, most likely a pile of mashed potatoes," Remus laughed.

"Hey!"

"Like you wouldn't make everything into mashed potatoes," Remus argued.

"Just because I love mashed potatoes with their creamy, whippy, yummy substance does not mean that I would no miss other things in life," Sirius argued with a pout. "Like girls! Potatoes can't - Ouch! Prongs!"

"Sorry, Lily," James grinned as she glared at him for having pushed her closer to the table. "But you didn't want to hear the rest of that sentence."

"No, I'm actually interested Black, Potatoes can't what?" she smirked as she looked away from James to Sirius.

"Um, well you see, if they, well um, how can I explain this?" He frowned, his brown eyes concentrating on the words.

"Don't work too hard there, Padfoot," Remus laughed.

"They can't really pleasure me," Sirius decided as he stuck his tongue out at Remus.

"Ouch!" he yelped again. "Damnit! Don't do that Mrs. Prongs!"

"What did you call me? Isn't that what you call Potter? And that's what you get for being a perverted freak!" Lily said with a shake of her head.

"I called you that because you act just like James, and because you two will fall in lo-ouch! STOP THAT!" he yelled in frustration and lunged to hit James back. Except Lily was between the two and ended up on top of James, who was sprawled on the stone floor, with Sirius on top of them both.

"Get off of me!" Lily growled. "I can't breathe!"

"Do we have a problem here?" McGonagall asked as she stopped so that she was standing right above them.

"Make him get off of me!" Lily screamed as she wiggled around to see if she could slip from between the two boys.

"Lily, stop!" James gasped as his hands grasped her petite waist to hold her still.

"I can't breathe!" she groaned at the same time she felt why it was so important that she stop moving. Looking into James' blue eyes she didn't even feel Sirius being lifted from her body. She did however feel when McGonagall tapped her on her back with her wand.

Scrambling up, Lily blushed and wiped her hands on her skirts, ignoring all of the snickers from the hall. Along with many envious glares from multiple females who would have loved to be in the situation that she was just in.

Bending over and picking up her bag, Lily sent one last glare in Sirius' direction before she stomped out of the Great Hall.

"What were you two trying to accomplish?" McGonagall asked with a shake of her head as she looked down her nose at them in her normal haughty pose.

"Well," Sirius grinned as he propped himself up on the side of the bench. "Those two kept hitting me, so I tried to hit James back, because I just can't hit a girl, no matter how much she aggravates me, and well, you came in dearest."

"We were hitting you because you weren't making sense!" James protested.

"I never make sense, so how does today differ?"

"Because today you were doing- Oh, nevermind!" he huffed.

"Are you two done?" came McGonagall's stiff voice. "Because I'm here to tell you that Miss Evans does not need to be involved in this kind of behavior. And if I see this again, you'll be seeing me in detention. Again."

"But!" James protested as the professor started to walk away. "I didn't do anything wrong this time!"

"Isn't that a first?" came a sneering voice from behind the two.

"Why don't you bugger yourself, Snape," James snapped as he got off the floor. It would not be a smart thing for him to be on lower grounds than the enemy.

"Why don't you simply grow up?" Snape argued.

"So I can be just like you? No thanks, Slimeball."

"You know that she's never going to choose you, don't you?" was all that he said before he walked away, robes billowing out behind him.

"Who does he think that he is?" Sirius growled, watching him as he walked away. "It's not like anyone will ever want him!"

"I don't know, I think that he's kind of cute," Remus snickered. "You two would make a perfect couple!"

"I think that our little Remus might have a little crush," Sirius said in a sing-song voice.

"No, I'd rather spend time in my girlfriends arms," Remus grinned as Stephanie Mitchell's walked up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"You better," she whispered in his hear.

"I still don't understand how he got one of the hot ones," Sirius said, shaking his head as the bell singling class rung.

"You're just jealous," Stephanie smirked as she walked with her arms around Remus' waist.

"You know it babe!" he winked then looked around for James. "Hey! Where's Prongs?"

Remus looked around the Great Hall and frowned. "I don't know, when did he leave?"

"I don't know, I wouldn't have asked you if I knew that now would I smartypants?"

"You never know with you, you're the King of stupid," Remus shot back, making Stephanie laugh.

010101

"Lily!" James yelled as he watched her run for the Quidditch field.

"Leave me alone!" she yelled out as she continued to run. She had dropped her book bag outside of the Hall and she was in a full sprint now. She used to run all the time, until her parents died. And now, after all that time she hadn't ran, her sides were burning, her legs were on fire, and she was ashamed. Ashamed that she gave up another thing that she loved.

"Lily, please wait up!" James yelled again, continuing to run after her.

Finally giving up, Lily stopped and leaned over, her hands on her knees, gasping for air.

"God, I was worried," James gasped as he got to where Lily stood, panting.

"Why won't you just leave me alone?" Lily cried, wiping away at the tears that somehow managed to start again.

"Lily what's wrong? You were fine a few minutes ago," James said as he pulled her up and hugged her.

"Nothing is ever right, nothing will ever be right again," she cried. "I have no one, I'm scared of everyone. I can't deal with it. Why do I have to deal with it."

"Shh," James crooned, rocking her slightly. "Don't say that, please don't say that."

"It's true. I can't do it anymore. I close my eyes and I see them, I open my eyes and I see everyone happy. I close off my heart and it hurts even more," she said.

"Lily, I'm here for you. Whatever you need, I'm here for you," James whispered.

"But what if you leave too? Then who will be here?" she sniffed, her arms finally wrapping around his waist.

"I'm not going to leave you. And you'll have my friends if ever you need someone and I'm not here," he reassured her.

"But they're not mine. I'm not close to them," she pointed out, trying to ignore the headache that was starting to pound behind her eyes. She was so used to the feeling that it barely bothered her any longer.

"You're close to me?" James asked, shocked.

"I shouldn't be," Lily sighed. "But I feel as if I am. You're the only one who's held me since this happened."

"I'll always be here to hold you," he said, kissing her hairline softly, breathing in her scent.

"But you can't promise that!" Lily screamed suddenly. "They said the same thing, yet they left to! Can't you see that I'm scared that I'll lose again?"

"Lily! Lily! Lily!" James yelled as he tightened his hold on her as she struggled to get free of his arms. "Know this Lily, I love you and I have from the day I saw you on that train. And I don't know if there is anything else for me," he whispered softly, shocked that he was actually saying the words.

He had rehearsed them over and over again in his head, but never in a million years did he think that he'd be able to say them out loud to her. Never did he think that those words would cause her to look up at him with her bright emerald green eyes shining with the tears that she was holding at bay.

"How do you know?" she asked, blinking up at him.

"It's just something that you know," he shrugged. "I'll never be able to feel this way again, and I know that. You're it for me Lily Evans. And if I have to wait forever, I will. I promise."

"Please, no promises," Lily said, shaking her head in protest. "Let's just try to take this one day at a time."

"I'll go as slow as you want Lily," James smiled, his blue eyes glowing happily as he let the words flow through him. "Always."

Lily laid her head on his chest again and looked around the Quidditch pitch. "I've never been down here," she told him softly, scared to break the moment. The momentarily peace that had settled over her.

"You haven't?" James asked, startled.

"No, I usually catch the last part of the match then go back and read afterwards and try to ignore the party that usually goes on," she shrugged, looking up at the tall stands.

"We'll next match, you're going to be right down here when I win," James declared, rubbing her back softly.

"Pretty sure of yourself aren't you?" Lily smiled as she relaxed under his touch.

"Always."

Lily simply laughed and hoped that this moment of serenity would last, yet knowing that the next nightmare was right around the corner.

Authors Notes

I know that it seems like I'm rushing it, but this story is going to be a little different from the Entranced series. I hope that you guys like I regardless. Sorry about the short chapter, but I wanted you guys to get this after such a long wait!! SORRY!!!