-1Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, names, places or anything else that you see that was written in the original books. However, from here on out, there will be a lot of 'facts' that are not in the book and are totally out of character. If the changes are not to your liking, I'm sorry, but with the Lily and James era all of the stories are to the same ending, and I like to change it up a little bit.

I hope you enjoy!

Missing Dreams

Chapter 8

"Lily!" James yelled as he entered their common room. She hadn't been in the last two classes that they had, she wasn't on the grounds from what he saw as he scanned them on his way to the common room and she in the library. She was pissed at him, and he knew that but he was scared that she was going to do something drastic in her anger. And that he couldn't deal with. In his experience, when females were pissed at you, they didn't think rationally and would rather hurt you than talk to you.

"Lily!" he yelled again as he sprinted up the stairs to her room, frowning when he noticed that she wasn't in there either. Her bed was untouched, her book bag was lying in its neat pile on her arm chair, and nothing else was touched by her.

"Where are you," he groaned in frustration as he shut her door and walked to his room dejectedly so that he could get the Map and find out where his girlfriend was. Or at least he hoped that she was still his girlfriend.

He didn't get further from the door as he opened it to see Lily sitting on the edge of his bed, the picture that he had of her in her hand. "Why do you have a picture of me?" she asked him softly as she put it back from where she got it.

"Sirius gave it to me last Christmas as a gift," James said as he shoved his hands in his cloak pockets, not sure what to do, what kind of mood that she was in. She was too calm for him, and he didn't like the feeling that he was getting in the pit of his stomach.

"But why of me? Why not of something else?" she asked as she looked up into his eyes, frowning.

"Because I love you," he shrugged. "And Sirius knows that."

Sighing, Lily got up from his still unmade bed and laced her fingers together as she started to pace between the window and the bed. It still made her uneasy with way he could pronounce that he loved her. Like he knew without a doubt that she was it for him.

"James," she started as she reached up and rubbed her temples. "This isn't working for me. I have enough drama in my world without having to worry about girls wanting to date you, and me not lasting, or me losing my heart to you at some point."

James felt as if his heart had simply failed in his chest. How could she be saying this to him? "What do you mean Lily?"

"James, girls want you, and they hate me because I'm with you. I have enough on my plate right now simply trying to heal myself; I don't need to worry about what's going on behind my back."

"Do you honestly think that after all this time Lily that I would cheat on you?" James demanded angrily as he stormed into the room, slamming his door shut behind him and locking it so that she couldn't get away before he was done with her.

"Who knows James! I'm not going to have sex with you right now, and you're a guy, you need it. Or so I've heard Black say many of times," Lily told him with a shrug. "I don't know you well enough to know your personality James. This is going way to fast. And I finally realized that I can't depend on anyone to make my dreams go away, I can't expect someone to heal me. It's something that I have to do myself, and I need time to do that."

"But Lily," James swallowed. He had always had the words before, but now that it matters more than anything else, he didn't have them. "Why? I love you; I want to be there for you."

"Because James, how am I to stand on my own two feet if you're always there to make sure that I don't fall in the first place!" Lily yelled back, her green eyes flashing with her anger.

"That's what loving someone means Lily! Being there to make sure that they don't fall!" James yelled back as he grabbed her shoulders as she tried to turn away from him.

"I'm sorry, but I don't love you James, so I can't understand your reasoning."

"I don't care if you don't love me, I can make you, but I need you Lily. You might not need me, but I need you."

Lily looked at James and felt like screaming. "You don't need me," Lily said calmly even though she wanted to scream. "James, if you're with me, you're liable to be killed. I'm one of the targets that Voldermort is after because of my skills with spells. And you can't - I can't. No one else can die because of me. I'm sorry, but that's the way that it is. I'm not going to let anyone else die because of me simply because I depend on them." she said softly. She had vowed to never tell anyone why her parents died, not wanting to believe it herself, but she had to make him understand why she couldn't be with him. Why it was impossible to stay with him.

"Lily, I don't care. As long as I know that I've had this time with you, that's all that matters to me," James told her softly as he moved his hands from her shoulders to her cheeks, making sure that her eyes were on his. He was surprised however to see that tears were shinning in her eyes, making her eyes literally sparkle like emeralds.

"You don't get it James. I would be left alive, and I can't deal with letting someone else that I care about die and me still live. I'm not as strong as so many people seem to think that I am. I'm sorry but you can't change my mind," she said softly as she broke out of his arms and walked towards the door, leaving him behind her in the same spot as she walked out of the door.

As soon as the door shut Lily heard a loud shattering noise, causing her to jump in surprise as she turned around to look at the closed door, trying to figure out if she should make sure he was okay. She had never broken up with anyone before, so she didn't know what the procedure was.

Deciding that if he truly was mad, he wouldn't want to see her, Lily walked towards her room, furiously wiping the tears that she hadn't even known that was coming out of her eyes.

"If it was the right thing to do, why does it hurt so much?" she asked herself as she let herself into her room and simply slid down to the floor, her back against the door as she leaned her head on her knees and let the tears fall.

"Mom, I've never needed your advice more than I do now."

0c0c0c

Later that night Lily was walking around the shore of the lake, trying to assure herself that she had made the right decision in breaking up with James. He wouldn't even look at her now. Never in her whole time knowing him had James not looked at her or smiled or glared, or something.

She felt as if nothing was going to be normal again in her life.

As she was thinking this, Lily suddenly felt a sharp pain in her head, focusing on her temples that caused her to fall to her knees.

Suddenly she saw visions of people in black marching into a house - the Minister's house. They kicked in the door when spells wouldn't work. As soon as they made their way through the door, they started their search for the occupants or an item, who knew.

"Where are they?" a voice hissed into Lily's head, causing her to go stiff. She knew that voice. It haunted her nightly.

"They're not here, Master," one of the hooded figures answered in fear.

Suddenly Lily's mind was blank again, causing Lily to fall back onto the sand as her body became weak from the experience. James, she thought as her eyes widened as the information processed in her mind.

Getting up, Lily made sure that she wasn't going to fall before she ran for the castle.

"James!" she yelled as she burst into the Great Hall where dinner was almost over.

"James!" she yelled again when he didn't answer. Looking around the hall wildly, ignoring the shocked glares from the other occupants, Lily stormed up to James and hit him upside the head.

"When someone runs into the room screaming for you like a manic answer them! It's your parents James, he's after them," Lily panted, still a little out of breath from her two mile run.

"What are you talking about Lily?" James frowned as he finally turned around to look at her.

"I saw it, I've had these weird vision things that are connected to things that Voldermort has or is doing, and he just broke into the Minister of Magic's house. Your house. And he's looking for your parents," Lily told him with wide eyes, her hands clutching his sleeves in desperation. "Please believe me."

"What are you talking about?" James asked slowly, his eyes narrowed as he looked at Lily.

"Contact your parents James; I can't let this happen to someone else that I know. Make sure that they're okay. Tell them to be safe, please James. Please! I know that you're not happy with me, and you don't want to see me, but make sure that they're okay," she begged, her green eyes wide with worry.

"My-they-danger?" James stuttered in shock as he stared at Lily blankly.

"I don't know where they are James, but make sure that you contact them. Now!"

"I- I'll do it," Sirius said in a small voice as he got up from the table, his face pale as he walked towards the door so that he could go to one of the fireplaces to get a hold of the family.

"Lily, how could you see this?" Remus asked as he ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair.

"I don't know, I didn't want any of this, but I do. And it's not something that I want."

"Did they get them?" James asked softly, his eyes scared to look into Lily's, not wanting to see the answer there.

"No, they weren't home," Lily told him with a shake of her head, her red hair getting into her face.

"James tonight was the annual ball," Remus said suddenly with a smile. "My parents are there too. Along with eighty percent of the aurors in Britain."

"Thank Merlin," James sighed, his body sagging from his relief. "They're not dead."

"James, do me a favor," Lily said softly as tears fell down her face. "Don't let them die, okay?"

"They're not going to die, Lily. Thank you."

Lily nodded her head and let go of his sleeves that she still had in a death grip. "You're welcome," she said as she turned around and stiffly walked out of the Great Hall.

Not only were her parents dead, but now James' parents were in trouble. Question was, was it because Harold Potter was the Minister of Magic, or is it because this brain wave link that she had with Voldermort able to work both ways?

Thinking about the possibilities, Lily didn't even notice the smirking blonde in front of her until she almost tripped into him.

"Tisk, tisk, mudblood, you should watch where you are walking. I don't appreciate having my robes dirtied," he snickered as he fingered the wand that was still in his hands, his smirk firmly in place as his sliver eyes took in her appearance.

"Malfoy, if I was you I would really shut my big, fat, worthless mouth right now," Lily growled as her fingers started to clench in anger.

"Such a mouth on you. But who would think better of a mud blood."

"That is fucking it Malfoy!" Lily yelled as she held out both hands palm out towards Malfoy's body. Lily pictured the blonde withering on the floor, gasping for pain - a pain that no one could even begin to comprehend, one that no one could help with, and with a few choice words, it happened.

"Miss Evans!" Professor McGonagall shouted as she ran into the hallway from the Great Hall, followed by James, Remus, Peter and the three Ravenclaw's that had been left eating dinner. "Release him from this spell at once!"

"I warned you Malfoy," Lily growled, not even hearing the professor as she tried to get past the shield that erected around them. "You would get yours for what you did to my family, for what you've done to every other family you fucking Death Eater. And for what you tried to do to the Potter's. You deserve every cry of pain that you have. Because what you are feeling is every single tiny bit of pain that you have inflicted on everyone that you have ever killed, hurt or abused. If you had been the model wizard you claim to be, you would have felt nothing," she spat, her green eyes small shards in her otherwise white eyes.

"Lily Evans!" Professor Dumbledore yelled as he tried to get into the protective shield that was erected around the students.

Lily looked over and saw the two Professors with their wands out, trying to get in and snapped her head towards Malfoy. "You win once again you worthless scumbag," she spat as she raised her hands and let everyone in.

"Protect your little board of trustee student, but there will be a time when you won't be able to get to him," Lily warned as she walked away, her head held high.

"Miss Evans if you think that -" Professor McGonagall shrieked, only to be interrupted by Dumbledore who held up his hand to silence her.

"Let her be. We're lucky that she didn't kill him," he said softly, his usually twinkling blue eyes flat as he looked around the few students that were still standing around, shocked at the power that their Head Girl just performed.

"Mr. Potter, please go make sure that Miss Evans does no other harm. Mr. Lupin, please go to Madame Pomfery and have her ready a bed. The rest of you, please go to your dorms," he instructed with a glance over the group of students.

James nodded his head and went after where he thought that Lily was going. He couldn't believe what he had just witnessed. Sure, she had told him that she was capable of things that most couldn't even dream of, but he had thought that she was joking. Not even He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named could do this sort of magic. She didn't even have to use a real spell. She just had to imagine it, and it was done.

"Lily?" James called out as he entered a room that Lily had told him was her sanctuary a couple of weeks ago. It had dark blue marble floors, three floor to ceiling windows, and a large grand piano in the center of it all.

Which is where Lily was, her fingers flying over the pearl keys as she played a deep, dark and depressing sound coming out of the shinning black instrument.

To say that she had talent was an understatement. She was phenomenal as she was at most things that she tried to do. Unless it came to sports. There was no way that she would ever be able to achieve any sort of talent in sports. And cooking which had amused him at the time. Her mother was a leading chef in the muggle world, she could brew potions to perfection, but she forgot when she was boiling water. What were the odds.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him, not taking her eyes off of the keys as she continued to play whatever notes came to mind.

"Professor Dumbledore was worried about you and sent me to follow you," James told her as he walked further into the room.

"Do you play?" she asked as she stopped playing and looked up at him, her pale cheeks wet with tears.

"Not as well as you."

"Sit, play," she told him as she scooted over on the bench.

"Is that why you broke up with me?" James asked as he played a soft melody that made Lily think of those summer nights that she read about where people slowly fall head first into love.

"James, what I'm capable of isn't easily controlled," Lily sighed. "He made me so mad that I just couldn't stop it. I almost killed him right then and there."

"I know, Lily, but I know that you would never do it for evil. You would do it to protect. And if Malfoy had anything to do with what went on at my house he deserves it," James told her vehemently.

"I don't know what to do James, about anything. I have these visions in my head. And I don't know if he can see what I'm doing on my side. I'm scared that I'm giving information without knowing," she said as she swallowed the tears that wanted to fall.

"Isn't there a test that you could do or something?" James asked her as he stopped playing so that he could look at her.

"The only thing that I could do is set it all up and see what he does. But then again, I just said what I think should be done, so how could it be possible," Lily shrugged with a hopeless look in her eyes.

"Have you talked to Dumbledore about this?"

"No. I don't know if he'd believe me, and I don't really want people knowing," Lily told him, not comfortable with the conversation.

"Why not?"

"Because James, this isn't normal. Even for the wizarding world."

James looked at Lily and felt his start beating irregularly in his chest. Regardless of what had happened earlier that day, he found that all he wanted to do was reassure her that it would be okay. All he wanted to do was take the broken, defeated look out of her eyes and make it all better.

And that regardless of how difficult that she was making it for him, all he wanted to do was be in her life and love her. It didn't matter how, as long as he could.

"What do you say to being friends?" James asked suddenly, shocking both himself and Lily.

Lily looked at the outstretched hand and smiled. "Friends," she said in a small voice as she took his hand and lightly grasped it, surprised when he brought it to his lips.

If she couldn't have him as a boyfriend, she could definitely use him as a friend. She was tired of being alone. Of dealing with all of this without someone to talk to. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she opened herself up to friends.