Disclaimers: Dragonball isn't mine. What else is new?
Author's note: Sorry, all my exams are coming up these times and I just can't find the time to write.
Thanks to all of my reviewers. Thanks so much!
____________________________________________________________________________ _____
"You're quite pale, Damion." Marc glances at me concerned. I wonder if I should laugh aloud. What an irony. I was finally able to start anew, finally able to shut my old life off , just to see my new life break down again. Just to see my whole past in front of my eyes again.
Tell me how the wounds can heal , when I'm not granted time, when there is always another moment which destroys all my former efforts?
I turn to my boyfriend and smile at him.
"It's fine. I'm fine."
A lie. Definately a lie. I'm far from being okay. The first lie since we met. We never lied to each other. But I just can't think of anything else to say. I can't cope with the situation at hand.
Sure, there were some things I had to cover up or at least change to a certain degree to hide my true heritage, but for all intents and purposes I was always faithful.
He just never asked the questions that would have put me to inconvenience. He wanted to give me as much time as I needed to tell him everything when I was feeling ready.
Now I think this moment is as far away as it has ever been before, too far away to even grasp it. And I think it departs with every single second.
Why?
Why did you have to come now, when I was finally able to create a new future, Trunks?
And suddenly I'm angry.
Angry at Trunks. For coming into my life and disarranging it again.
Angry at me. For being too chicken to call him. I didn't have to repress everything.
In fact it probably wouldn't have gotten me so hard if I had just heard from him once in a while.
But then I know I wouldn't have ever overcome our relationship, or the lack thereof that is.
It is easier to repress something than to forget the whole matter.
It wouldn't have gotten me this hard, however. It wouldn't have ripped open all the wounds to the bone. Seems like it happened just yesterday. Everything.
My world feels sticky.
Blurred.
Trunk's non-acceptance, Lycra, drugs.
Deeper, deeper.
D E E P E R
Red. Everything in red, blood and honor till you're dead.
Syringes, pills, Trunk's bed.
Warmth, security. Bitter bile.
My blood... boils.
"Damion?"
I blink and try to find my way back to reality.
"Come here, lean on my shoulder, we're getting you home."
I consider his words for a moment, look for the sense in them and nod with difficulty. My body doesn't seem to obey my will, but I can't explain why. I don't know why and it scares me.
The voices are so .. convoluted. They connect... and disconnect... and connect... and disconnect...
Black. Pale.
Catch me. Catch -
Me.
I open my eyes fitfully.
"Back among the living?"
I turn my head around to see Marc's concerned face in front of me.
"You brought me home?" My voice sounds so wrong, so quiet.
"Well yeah, you just passed out on me..." he smiles a little forced, a smile that is full of pain and sorrow. He grips my hand. The gesture seems so helpless.
"What happened?"
I swallow, my spittle is thick, my throat sore.
"I don't know exactly... It was like my heart thumped faster ... increasingly faster... and then it just - burst. I don't know." I whisper and avert my eyes.
My lids are feeling so heavy . I long to close them and to forget the world around me .
I wish for calmness although I know that it is impossible.
And for a short instant I really consider to maybe visit a certain female acquaintance for one more time. If she's still living, of course. Perhaps she already died from an overdose.
Oh God. What am I thinking. I should be frightened of my own thoughts.
How long did I fight to get away from those damn drugs.
How much sweat and tears did it cost until I finally found release in Trunks' embrace.
I recognize arms that enclose me suddenly. Grant warmth.
"Shh..." Marc's voice is whispering into my ear, while one of his hands moves from its position on my back up to my neck to press my head softly against Marc's shoulder.
My body trembles.
"Shh... It's all gonna be okay. Don't cry."
I nod and bury my face deeper into his shirt, while he smoothes me with his proximity.
"You knew him, didn't you?"
Please don't talk about it. Let's repress it a little longer.
I know Marc has the right to finally learn something about my past. I left him out in the dark for far too long. But now is certainly the wrong moment.
Nontheless I breathe in deeply and nod again.
"He... he was very important to me." I tell him quietly, my voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt. Marc looks at me closely for some minutes and then shakes his head almost sadly.
"That was the president of Capsule Corp. wasn't it?"
I remove myself from his embrace to look into his eyes. "Yeah. How did you know?"
Marc knits his brows as if my question was unnecessary - which it probably was. Who wouldn't know Trunks Briefs.
But he answers nontheless. "He's been in every newspaper and every broadcast station for some time now. Poor guy."
Now that got my attention. Poor guy? What the hell?
Now that I think about it... didn't Trunks mention something like that as well?
And he did look tired...
I put my arms on both of Marc's shoulders. "What happened? Did something happen to him?!"
My voice is quivering.
"You really don't know?" Marc asks incredulously.
I shake my head slowly, a terrible apprehension forming.
"Media found out that he was gay. I think it happened when he kissed his boyfriend goodbye at the airport, but I'm not too sure. In any case the guy was beat up by his father quite harshly, he was about a month in intensive care. I think he lives alone now, his parents don't want to have anything to do with him anymore."
_________________________ ________________________
*evil laugh*
hope you liked it!
Christul: You're welcome. ^_^ It took me long enough *sweatdrop*
Kawaii Kai: Wow. Thanks for all of your reviews! And don't worry, Goten won't forget about Trunks too soon ;)
I dunno: There will be some more chapters, don't worry. I just can't tell you when they are finished...
GotenTrunks: I really doubt that this new life is all Goten ever wanted. That's why I just can't let him continue this way *fg* Thanks for the review!
Leaf Zelindor: Thank you. Thank you ;)
Dbzchild: Thx for the review!
Kirei no Anime 262: I love yaoi as well ^_^
Author's note: Sorry, all my exams are coming up these times and I just can't find the time to write.
Thanks to all of my reviewers. Thanks so much!
____________________________________________________________________________ _____
"You're quite pale, Damion." Marc glances at me concerned. I wonder if I should laugh aloud. What an irony. I was finally able to start anew, finally able to shut my old life off , just to see my new life break down again. Just to see my whole past in front of my eyes again.
Tell me how the wounds can heal , when I'm not granted time, when there is always another moment which destroys all my former efforts?
I turn to my boyfriend and smile at him.
"It's fine. I'm fine."
A lie. Definately a lie. I'm far from being okay. The first lie since we met. We never lied to each other. But I just can't think of anything else to say. I can't cope with the situation at hand.
Sure, there were some things I had to cover up or at least change to a certain degree to hide my true heritage, but for all intents and purposes I was always faithful.
He just never asked the questions that would have put me to inconvenience. He wanted to give me as much time as I needed to tell him everything when I was feeling ready.
Now I think this moment is as far away as it has ever been before, too far away to even grasp it. And I think it departs with every single second.
Why?
Why did you have to come now, when I was finally able to create a new future, Trunks?
And suddenly I'm angry.
Angry at Trunks. For coming into my life and disarranging it again.
Angry at me. For being too chicken to call him. I didn't have to repress everything.
In fact it probably wouldn't have gotten me so hard if I had just heard from him once in a while.
But then I know I wouldn't have ever overcome our relationship, or the lack thereof that is.
It is easier to repress something than to forget the whole matter.
It wouldn't have gotten me this hard, however. It wouldn't have ripped open all the wounds to the bone. Seems like it happened just yesterday. Everything.
My world feels sticky.
Blurred.
Trunk's non-acceptance, Lycra, drugs.
Deeper, deeper.
D E E P E R
Red. Everything in red, blood and honor till you're dead.
Syringes, pills, Trunk's bed.
Warmth, security. Bitter bile.
My blood... boils.
"Damion?"
I blink and try to find my way back to reality.
"Come here, lean on my shoulder, we're getting you home."
I consider his words for a moment, look for the sense in them and nod with difficulty. My body doesn't seem to obey my will, but I can't explain why. I don't know why and it scares me.
The voices are so .. convoluted. They connect... and disconnect... and connect... and disconnect...
Black. Pale.
Catch me. Catch -
Me.
I open my eyes fitfully.
"Back among the living?"
I turn my head around to see Marc's concerned face in front of me.
"You brought me home?" My voice sounds so wrong, so quiet.
"Well yeah, you just passed out on me..." he smiles a little forced, a smile that is full of pain and sorrow. He grips my hand. The gesture seems so helpless.
"What happened?"
I swallow, my spittle is thick, my throat sore.
"I don't know exactly... It was like my heart thumped faster ... increasingly faster... and then it just - burst. I don't know." I whisper and avert my eyes.
My lids are feeling so heavy . I long to close them and to forget the world around me .
I wish for calmness although I know that it is impossible.
And for a short instant I really consider to maybe visit a certain female acquaintance for one more time. If she's still living, of course. Perhaps she already died from an overdose.
Oh God. What am I thinking. I should be frightened of my own thoughts.
How long did I fight to get away from those damn drugs.
How much sweat and tears did it cost until I finally found release in Trunks' embrace.
I recognize arms that enclose me suddenly. Grant warmth.
"Shh..." Marc's voice is whispering into my ear, while one of his hands moves from its position on my back up to my neck to press my head softly against Marc's shoulder.
My body trembles.
"Shh... It's all gonna be okay. Don't cry."
I nod and bury my face deeper into his shirt, while he smoothes me with his proximity.
"You knew him, didn't you?"
Please don't talk about it. Let's repress it a little longer.
I know Marc has the right to finally learn something about my past. I left him out in the dark for far too long. But now is certainly the wrong moment.
Nontheless I breathe in deeply and nod again.
"He... he was very important to me." I tell him quietly, my voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt. Marc looks at me closely for some minutes and then shakes his head almost sadly.
"That was the president of Capsule Corp. wasn't it?"
I remove myself from his embrace to look into his eyes. "Yeah. How did you know?"
Marc knits his brows as if my question was unnecessary - which it probably was. Who wouldn't know Trunks Briefs.
But he answers nontheless. "He's been in every newspaper and every broadcast station for some time now. Poor guy."
Now that got my attention. Poor guy? What the hell?
Now that I think about it... didn't Trunks mention something like that as well?
And he did look tired...
I put my arms on both of Marc's shoulders. "What happened? Did something happen to him?!"
My voice is quivering.
"You really don't know?" Marc asks incredulously.
I shake my head slowly, a terrible apprehension forming.
"Media found out that he was gay. I think it happened when he kissed his boyfriend goodbye at the airport, but I'm not too sure. In any case the guy was beat up by his father quite harshly, he was about a month in intensive care. I think he lives alone now, his parents don't want to have anything to do with him anymore."
_________________________ ________________________
*evil laugh*
hope you liked it!
Christul: You're welcome. ^_^ It took me long enough *sweatdrop*
Kawaii Kai: Wow. Thanks for all of your reviews! And don't worry, Goten won't forget about Trunks too soon ;)
I dunno: There will be some more chapters, don't worry. I just can't tell you when they are finished...
GotenTrunks: I really doubt that this new life is all Goten ever wanted. That's why I just can't let him continue this way *fg* Thanks for the review!
Leaf Zelindor: Thank you. Thank you ;)
Dbzchild: Thx for the review!
Kirei no Anime 262: I love yaoi as well ^_^