Nope, I don't own dragonball.
Now that that's said on with the story
_____________________________________
My head feels heavy. Idle. Tired. Unable to pick up one more thought. Often my lids would just close, as if there was no strength left in me to keep them open. I feel so weak. I am so.... weak. Yeah. Maybe there really is no more strength in my body. Or maybe I'm just lacking the will.
My gaze wanders down and I recognize that my hands are trembling. For how long... have they been trembling? Now, that it attracts my attention, I can only wonder how I didn't notice it before. They look so lost and forlorn on my lap. Probably as forlorn and lost as I myself am feeling.
Oh God, what am I thinking? Have I finally gone insane? How could I think about my hands in a situation like this?
What am I to do? Please, what am I to do?
But however long I think about this simple question, I just can't seem to find an answer. Why are questions so easily raised but so hard to be answered? More often than not it's those banal things that you cannot solve.
What shall I do?
"Damion? You're so... pale...." Marc's voice tears me out of my thoughts and for a moment I'm grateful. The question is eroding me for there is no way for me to answer it. Maybe there is no answer to it? Maybe I'm just thinking so hard, too hard about it that I'm not able to -
"Damion are you okay?"
I snap my head up at Marc's words. For a minute I don't know how to use my voice. Silence crawls between us like an icy blanket. I lay a trembling hand on my forehead.
"I need some time alone. I'm sorry." Just barely a whisper, before I suddenly jump up and grap my jacket to run out of the door. You can't leave him like that, Goten, he deserves better! My voice of reason tells me and I stop at the door and turn around to Marc's saddened eyes.
"I... I just... need fresh air." I try to explain, but my voice is hardly any louder than the beating of my heart. Can he still hear me all the same? There was never such a link between the two of us like the one I had with Trunks. For a short instant I'm frightened. Is it me? Me with that cracked voice, who fought so hard to begin a new life and forget the old one? What an irony that my past overtakes me now with such a smack in the eye.
I reach blindly for the door handle and after some unavailing attempts my fingers finally grip the cold metal. My body trembles so much, I'm afraid my knees give in.
"Do you think this is a good idea?" Marc sounds worried, like always. Yeah, like always. A small, logical thinking part of myself tries to tell me that Marc is indeed right to be worried, you'd probably just have to look at me to be worried. Not to speak of the riot and chaos, that is my psyche. But the other part inside of me turns about 180 degrees and suddenly I can hardly control myself from letting out my frustration on Marc. He is surely the person who is the least to blame. It was me who kissed Trunks. And it was me who left him alone for fear of another rejection. To find myself To let myself be found. I couldn't possibly know...- But I could have anticipated.
Trunks is C.C's president. Of course he's darling number one of the media. Moreover was it a public airport. I should have known there would be consequences. But I haven't.
No, no I have. Why else would I have avoided the press, why else shut myself off of the world? Yeah, I didn't know for sure, but I have, I did have anticipated it to a certain degree.
I think his gaze flickers lightly when I look into Marc's eyes. "I have to. I owe it to him." He looks at me wordlessly. "I... I'm so sorry, Marc..." Why does everything have to be so complicated? As if Dende hasn't played enough with my life.
"I have to go," I repeat again and open the door. Marc still doesn't say a word and I wonder if he's comprehending. Or if he's in denial? He must know that this will be our final goodbye. Dammit, say something! Stop me! Help me! I want to scream, but my lips can't form the words.
So I look at him for the last time, begging, pleading. I don't know what I want anymore. I don't want to hurt him. Hell, I don't want to hurt both of them. Oh please...
But Marc remains silent, offers no advice, doesn't hold me back. And finally I stumble out of the door.
Yeah, Goten. Running away again, aren't you. Now, when I thought that I had finally found the perfect life. No, of course not perfect, but at least as close to perfect as I could ever get.
~~~~~~~
"Hello, you are connected with the mailbox of Trunks Briefs. Please leave your message after-" I hang up before the audio tape can finish its standart message. I sigh deeply and put my cell phone back into my pocket. He won't call back. He isn't the type to, especially if he doesn't know the number.
I put my arms around my body and decide to keep going. I lost my way hours ago. Who knows what damned streets I am walking on. I tried to call Trunks three times and three times he didn't answer the telephone. Maybe he knew who was to call him?
When a liquid touches my skin softly I lift my head up to the sky to see it has been clouded over. Why does it have to rain now of all times? The wind tells me the storm won't wait for long and I hurry to find some kind of shelter.
After some minutes the water begins to drop down faster. My jacket is soaked within another two minutes and in combination with the chilly wind it sends cold sensations down my spine. Unconsciously I speed up to escape the cooling weather. Unfortunately I have absolutely no idea as to where I am and so I run through streets and avenues rather blindly. Where the hell am I?! The rain is pouring so hard, I can hardly recognize anything anymore. And as if my body doesn't already tremble enough, the wind does its best to make my limbs grow stiff.
I speed up and run into another alley. - And come to an abrupt halt. Rather painfully I must add. Years of exercise prevent me from running headfirst into the wall. I turn my body around when I crash against the solid stone, but there's a soft gnash that tells me that my shoulder must be dislocated now. And this one really hurts. Much. For a moment I can literally see stars in front of me which are awfully bright in the darkening weather. It seems they lighten up the whole atmosphere. A figure is waiting in the dark. Smiling for me. Am I halluzinating? The female form comes closer and closer and I try to find the strength to keep my eyes open. Who?
"Hello there.... Goten."
The voice sounds so familiar ... somehow....
"Don't you... recognize me?"
It sounds so frightening familiar. I just can't grab the information in the back of my head.
"You look like a mess.... again. Do you want me to help you?"
Yeah... it must be her... but her language is so formal... how?
"Just.... take off your jacket and pull your sleeve up....I'll do the rest..." She reaches for something in her coat and a second later I recognize the thing as a syringe.
"Lycra, I...." I try to stop her softly, but the words just won't come out. To my horror I raise my arm for her to take. Is this a nightmare? I didn't... I didn't want to do drugs... ever again. But my body disobeys. Release.... release... release....
Like an echo in my head.
Free...dom.... free... dom.....
"I'll help you get away from your pain...." Lyrca tells me and helps me out of my jacket. She removes the cloth between her hand and my bare skin and brings the needle closer. So close.
Did I mention that my lids feel heavy? And that the world is so sickening dark? And that the silence is hurting me? I can feel the tip of the needle on my skin and it somehow feels... good. So forsaken good. I know it grants release. It grants freedom.
Lycra chuckles at my impatience and grips my arm tighter. Then she slowly pushes the -
My cell phone breaks the silence and I wince. Darkness surrenders and suddenly I can feel the icy coldness on my flesh again. With numb fingers I reach for my phone and bring it to my ear.
"Hello?" I croak, my throat feels like is has been worked on with abrasive paper.
"Goten... is that you?" The voice on the other end asks, but my mind can barely make out the words. Why does the world seem so blurry?
"Yeah... Goten..." I confirm. I can see the colours unite.... it's kinda... funny. Did... did I say that aloud?
"Goten, are you in company?!" The voice sounds slightly terrified now. Do I imagine things? Maybe I really did say the last thought aloud.
"Yeah... Lycra is here..." I force my head around to look for the petite female. "Oh... she isn't here anymore.... where could she have gone....?" I murmur. My limbs twitch uncontrollably. I look down. I'm still wearing my jacket.
"But maybe... she wasn't....at all?" I wonder. My thoughts are so confused and tiring.
"Goten, where are you exactly?"
"In a blind alley.... my shoulder hurts.... honestly...."
"Did you hurt your shoulder? What alley is it? What part of town?"
I giggle.
"Dark.... with golden stars. So bright...."
"This isn't funny!"
But it is! The stars are flowing so fluidly. Starry, dreamy wish.....for freedom.... peace. Body and mind....
I have often seen someone's body die. But have you ever killed your soul?
Whispered words
Spoken to be broken....
I can't hear you! I can still not hear you!
What... am I thinking ?!
"Trunks...?"
Did I say that aloud ...too..?
- - - - - - __________________________________________________
Sorry it took me this long again. First off I went to a festival for a week. Then I travelled to Spain (where I actually had the whole chapter typed in German) and for three weeks I've been working nonstop. I'm tired I tell you. Waking up at half past four and coming home half past two isn't really something for me (yet). So once again, sorry to have kept you waiting for so long (especially since the story only needed to be translated for about three weeks) Well, I didn't read through the story for any mistakes so please forgive me if there are any. But better a story with some mistakes than to wait one more week ne?
Tali: Thanks so much. I have a faible for cliffys, I'm sorry ^_^ - Rei: I still don't know if there will be a happy ending... I'm quite honored that you like my story this much. Thanks!! - chibidark_angel: well, don't worry, the goten/trunks will be coming... and with the happy moments... let's see what I can do for you ;) - leaf zelindor: Here's your "more" Hope you enjoyed it - ChibiLoner: Damn, I don't know how long you must have been sitting in front of your computer to read all chapters in one day. Thanks for keeping up with my story - ~Forever Lost~: Thank you! Here's your update - scorpion05: Well, there's a good chance for goten and trunks now, isn't there? ;) - KisaandKenta: Thank you!! - GotenTrunks: Thanks for reviewing every chapter. Yeah, you rock! But don't worry, they'll find each other soon enough *evil laugh* - Christul: You're welcome ^_^ - Kimi the Kenlei: Well... I thought about Trunks telling Goten personally what happened between Vejiita and him... Thanks for the tipp! - Red-Chan: Ok, here's the update, hope you like it - Dreamer: Well... uh... thank you! Hope you like the chapter as well ^_^ - lil Hawk: No, no, don't worry, it isn't over. Thanks for your review ;) - Hi ^.^: I personally like sad endings as well... *hrhrr* - Jeice: Ok, here's the next chapter. - M-phyton-girl: Of course I'm having another chapter! Here it is! (and there will be more of them for sure) - futagoakuma-tenshi02: thanks! Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well ^_^ - neon blade: ok! This time you won't check out in vail, cause here is the new chapter ;) thanks for your review, to both of you!
Now that that's said on with the story
_____________________________________
My head feels heavy. Idle. Tired. Unable to pick up one more thought. Often my lids would just close, as if there was no strength left in me to keep them open. I feel so weak. I am so.... weak. Yeah. Maybe there really is no more strength in my body. Or maybe I'm just lacking the will.
My gaze wanders down and I recognize that my hands are trembling. For how long... have they been trembling? Now, that it attracts my attention, I can only wonder how I didn't notice it before. They look so lost and forlorn on my lap. Probably as forlorn and lost as I myself am feeling.
Oh God, what am I thinking? Have I finally gone insane? How could I think about my hands in a situation like this?
What am I to do? Please, what am I to do?
But however long I think about this simple question, I just can't seem to find an answer. Why are questions so easily raised but so hard to be answered? More often than not it's those banal things that you cannot solve.
What shall I do?
"Damion? You're so... pale...." Marc's voice tears me out of my thoughts and for a moment I'm grateful. The question is eroding me for there is no way for me to answer it. Maybe there is no answer to it? Maybe I'm just thinking so hard, too hard about it that I'm not able to -
"Damion are you okay?"
I snap my head up at Marc's words. For a minute I don't know how to use my voice. Silence crawls between us like an icy blanket. I lay a trembling hand on my forehead.
"I need some time alone. I'm sorry." Just barely a whisper, before I suddenly jump up and grap my jacket to run out of the door. You can't leave him like that, Goten, he deserves better! My voice of reason tells me and I stop at the door and turn around to Marc's saddened eyes.
"I... I just... need fresh air." I try to explain, but my voice is hardly any louder than the beating of my heart. Can he still hear me all the same? There was never such a link between the two of us like the one I had with Trunks. For a short instant I'm frightened. Is it me? Me with that cracked voice, who fought so hard to begin a new life and forget the old one? What an irony that my past overtakes me now with such a smack in the eye.
I reach blindly for the door handle and after some unavailing attempts my fingers finally grip the cold metal. My body trembles so much, I'm afraid my knees give in.
"Do you think this is a good idea?" Marc sounds worried, like always. Yeah, like always. A small, logical thinking part of myself tries to tell me that Marc is indeed right to be worried, you'd probably just have to look at me to be worried. Not to speak of the riot and chaos, that is my psyche. But the other part inside of me turns about 180 degrees and suddenly I can hardly control myself from letting out my frustration on Marc. He is surely the person who is the least to blame. It was me who kissed Trunks. And it was me who left him alone for fear of another rejection. To find myself To let myself be found. I couldn't possibly know...- But I could have anticipated.
Trunks is C.C's president. Of course he's darling number one of the media. Moreover was it a public airport. I should have known there would be consequences. But I haven't.
No, no I have. Why else would I have avoided the press, why else shut myself off of the world? Yeah, I didn't know for sure, but I have, I did have anticipated it to a certain degree.
I think his gaze flickers lightly when I look into Marc's eyes. "I have to. I owe it to him." He looks at me wordlessly. "I... I'm so sorry, Marc..." Why does everything have to be so complicated? As if Dende hasn't played enough with my life.
"I have to go," I repeat again and open the door. Marc still doesn't say a word and I wonder if he's comprehending. Or if he's in denial? He must know that this will be our final goodbye. Dammit, say something! Stop me! Help me! I want to scream, but my lips can't form the words.
So I look at him for the last time, begging, pleading. I don't know what I want anymore. I don't want to hurt him. Hell, I don't want to hurt both of them. Oh please...
But Marc remains silent, offers no advice, doesn't hold me back. And finally I stumble out of the door.
Yeah, Goten. Running away again, aren't you. Now, when I thought that I had finally found the perfect life. No, of course not perfect, but at least as close to perfect as I could ever get.
~~~~~~~
"Hello, you are connected with the mailbox of Trunks Briefs. Please leave your message after-" I hang up before the audio tape can finish its standart message. I sigh deeply and put my cell phone back into my pocket. He won't call back. He isn't the type to, especially if he doesn't know the number.
I put my arms around my body and decide to keep going. I lost my way hours ago. Who knows what damned streets I am walking on. I tried to call Trunks three times and three times he didn't answer the telephone. Maybe he knew who was to call him?
When a liquid touches my skin softly I lift my head up to the sky to see it has been clouded over. Why does it have to rain now of all times? The wind tells me the storm won't wait for long and I hurry to find some kind of shelter.
After some minutes the water begins to drop down faster. My jacket is soaked within another two minutes and in combination with the chilly wind it sends cold sensations down my spine. Unconsciously I speed up to escape the cooling weather. Unfortunately I have absolutely no idea as to where I am and so I run through streets and avenues rather blindly. Where the hell am I?! The rain is pouring so hard, I can hardly recognize anything anymore. And as if my body doesn't already tremble enough, the wind does its best to make my limbs grow stiff.
I speed up and run into another alley. - And come to an abrupt halt. Rather painfully I must add. Years of exercise prevent me from running headfirst into the wall. I turn my body around when I crash against the solid stone, but there's a soft gnash that tells me that my shoulder must be dislocated now. And this one really hurts. Much. For a moment I can literally see stars in front of me which are awfully bright in the darkening weather. It seems they lighten up the whole atmosphere. A figure is waiting in the dark. Smiling for me. Am I halluzinating? The female form comes closer and closer and I try to find the strength to keep my eyes open. Who?
"Hello there.... Goten."
The voice sounds so familiar ... somehow....
"Don't you... recognize me?"
It sounds so frightening familiar. I just can't grab the information in the back of my head.
"You look like a mess.... again. Do you want me to help you?"
Yeah... it must be her... but her language is so formal... how?
"Just.... take off your jacket and pull your sleeve up....I'll do the rest..." She reaches for something in her coat and a second later I recognize the thing as a syringe.
"Lycra, I...." I try to stop her softly, but the words just won't come out. To my horror I raise my arm for her to take. Is this a nightmare? I didn't... I didn't want to do drugs... ever again. But my body disobeys. Release.... release... release....
Like an echo in my head.
Free...dom.... free... dom.....
"I'll help you get away from your pain...." Lyrca tells me and helps me out of my jacket. She removes the cloth between her hand and my bare skin and brings the needle closer. So close.
Did I mention that my lids feel heavy? And that the world is so sickening dark? And that the silence is hurting me? I can feel the tip of the needle on my skin and it somehow feels... good. So forsaken good. I know it grants release. It grants freedom.
Lycra chuckles at my impatience and grips my arm tighter. Then she slowly pushes the -
My cell phone breaks the silence and I wince. Darkness surrenders and suddenly I can feel the icy coldness on my flesh again. With numb fingers I reach for my phone and bring it to my ear.
"Hello?" I croak, my throat feels like is has been worked on with abrasive paper.
"Goten... is that you?" The voice on the other end asks, but my mind can barely make out the words. Why does the world seem so blurry?
"Yeah... Goten..." I confirm. I can see the colours unite.... it's kinda... funny. Did... did I say that aloud?
"Goten, are you in company?!" The voice sounds slightly terrified now. Do I imagine things? Maybe I really did say the last thought aloud.
"Yeah... Lycra is here..." I force my head around to look for the petite female. "Oh... she isn't here anymore.... where could she have gone....?" I murmur. My limbs twitch uncontrollably. I look down. I'm still wearing my jacket.
"But maybe... she wasn't....at all?" I wonder. My thoughts are so confused and tiring.
"Goten, where are you exactly?"
"In a blind alley.... my shoulder hurts.... honestly...."
"Did you hurt your shoulder? What alley is it? What part of town?"
I giggle.
"Dark.... with golden stars. So bright...."
"This isn't funny!"
But it is! The stars are flowing so fluidly. Starry, dreamy wish.....for freedom.... peace. Body and mind....
I have often seen someone's body die. But have you ever killed your soul?
Whispered words
Spoken to be broken....
I can't hear you! I can still not hear you!
What... am I thinking ?!
"Trunks...?"
Did I say that aloud ...too..?
- - - - - - __________________________________________________
Sorry it took me this long again. First off I went to a festival for a week. Then I travelled to Spain (where I actually had the whole chapter typed in German) and for three weeks I've been working nonstop. I'm tired I tell you. Waking up at half past four and coming home half past two isn't really something for me (yet). So once again, sorry to have kept you waiting for so long (especially since the story only needed to be translated for about three weeks) Well, I didn't read through the story for any mistakes so please forgive me if there are any. But better a story with some mistakes than to wait one more week ne?
Tali: Thanks so much. I have a faible for cliffys, I'm sorry ^_^ - Rei: I still don't know if there will be a happy ending... I'm quite honored that you like my story this much. Thanks!! - chibidark_angel: well, don't worry, the goten/trunks will be coming... and with the happy moments... let's see what I can do for you ;) - leaf zelindor: Here's your "more" Hope you enjoyed it - ChibiLoner: Damn, I don't know how long you must have been sitting in front of your computer to read all chapters in one day. Thanks for keeping up with my story - ~Forever Lost~: Thank you! Here's your update - scorpion05: Well, there's a good chance for goten and trunks now, isn't there? ;) - KisaandKenta: Thank you!! - GotenTrunks: Thanks for reviewing every chapter. Yeah, you rock! But don't worry, they'll find each other soon enough *evil laugh* - Christul: You're welcome ^_^ - Kimi the Kenlei: Well... I thought about Trunks telling Goten personally what happened between Vejiita and him... Thanks for the tipp! - Red-Chan: Ok, here's the update, hope you like it - Dreamer: Well... uh... thank you! Hope you like the chapter as well ^_^ - lil Hawk: No, no, don't worry, it isn't over. Thanks for your review ;) - Hi ^.^: I personally like sad endings as well... *hrhrr* - Jeice: Ok, here's the next chapter. - M-phyton-girl: Of course I'm having another chapter! Here it is! (and there will be more of them for sure) - futagoakuma-tenshi02: thanks! Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well ^_^ - neon blade: ok! This time you won't check out in vail, cause here is the new chapter ;) thanks for your review, to both of you!