Spring With the Cullens
By Holly-Batali

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the awesome Jasper. I wish I did, but there's life for you. Character Credit goes to Stephenie Meyer. Though, I've actually done something she has not: given Jasper a better sense of humor.

Author's Note: This is a story from Bella's point of view. It's all about how good the Cullens are about putting up with Esme's crazy "Mom Schemes." First story of four; set right after Twilight (BEFORE the epilogue)

Chapter Two: Easter Dresses

When I woke up, the only thing that entered my mind was I have a biology test today... Of course, I did NOT think 'today is Easter' or even 'I wonder if I should do anything about it.' Of course, what I SHOULD have been thinking was 'what is Esme doing about it?' Because Esme--I have learned--always has something up her sleeve for holidays.

After school, Edward drove me to his house. As I got out of the car (that stupid shiny Volvo), I was Emmett and Rose working on Emmett's Jeep. "Come on, Emmett," Rose was saying, "put your back into it!"

Emmett mumbled something very profound, which earned him a smack on the head.

We went inside and saw Alice being measured by Esme. "Hey Bella, hey Edward," she called cheerfully. Jasper came down the stairs holding a well-worn and much-loved copy of Michael Shaara's The Killer Angels, whistling Dixie--literally. Jasper was still very much a confederate soldier. If you don't believe me, maybe you should see the door to his room, the stickers on his binder, his favorite tie, et cetera, et cetera. In short: it was all confederate flags.

Jasper saluted us casually, "Afternoon," he said.

"Hey Alice," I said, "hey Jasper. What are you doing Esme?"

"Measuring for Alice's Easter dress," she replied happily.

"Um...shouldn't you make an Easter dress, you know--before Easter?"

Esme smiled. "I never have, and they've always turned out rather well. Don't you think so, Alice?"

Alice just smiled happily.

Esme seemed to remember something suddenly. "Oh, Bella dear, come over here would You?"

"Sure," I said, a little surprised. Edward tried to carry me over but I waved him away. "I've got it, Edward, okay?"

"Okay," he said, looking a little hurt. I just rolled my eyes. I moved over to Esme and asked, "what is it, Esme?"

She smiled triumphantly. "I'm going to make you an Easter dress."

I recoiled in horror. "No," I gasped. "Anything but that, I beg you!"

She wouldn't listen to me, no matter how much I begged and pleaded. She measured with lightning-quick hands and adjustments. Then she ran out of the room to her "lair" (the sewing room).

As I sat in shock on the couch with Alice, Rosalie and Emmett came in. They stopped their conversation (something about motor oil brands) and came over to me, concerned looks on their faces. Well, not really. Rosalie just looked curious and a little disdainful

"What's with Bella?" Rosalie asked Alice curiously.

"Esme's making her an Easter dress." Alice and Rosalie exchanged a knowing glance.

"Don't worry Bella," Rosalie said to me. Yes, she was actually speaking to me! "You'll get used to it."

I moaned at that. "Get used to it!" I practically shrieked. "You don't have any idea how bad my memories of Easter dresses are! You try putting up with that kind of thing from Renee!"

I ignored Emmett, you was guffawing at me like the moron that he was, and Edward, who was trying to placate me.

"Relax Bella," said Jasper, who was draped across one of the couches, his nose buried in The Killer Angels. "It's just one day, for crying out loud!"

"Yeah Bella," agreed a taunting Emmett. "How bad can it be?"

Esme chose that moment to return to the living room. "I need Alice, Bella, and Rosalie; pronto!" she said, motioning towards The Lair. I whimpered, but Alice scooped me up and ran to Esme, ignoring Edward's protests. She and Rosalie were actually excited about this kind of thing! It was inconceivable! Esme ushered us all downstairs, where she opened the door to her vast sewing room. I gasped in horror at the mountains of neatly shelved fabrics and trimmings. It was worse than anything Alfred Hitchcock could pull off, and I've seen Psycho, okay?

"Alice first," said Esme. Alice clapped her hands and hopped forward. Esme whisked her off to another door, where she shoved her inside. Before she closed the door, I caught a sight of a changing cubicle with pick frilly curtains and a vanity on the other side of the room. I shuddered.

I sat down in Esme's "waiting area" in one of the comfy leather chairs. Rosalie sat on the one farthest from me. I really didn't care; I was more worried about myself at the moment.

Alice came out a moment later, squealing like a little girl. I gasped in horror at what I saw. Alice was dressed in a horrible gold frilly...thing! She had a flowered hair wreath and a white flower necklace. She even had a white silk-lined Easter basket and white gloves.

I thought I would throw up. I really did.

"Rosalie, you're next," Alice squealed. Rosalie ran to Esme, all excited and crap. I felt sick.

Rosalie came out in a silver tiara, white gloves, a matching necklace, and a horrible blue dress with sequins and a gathered skirt. Maybe if I made a break for it... No, I'd never make it. Rosalie was smirking at me now, and she grabbed my arm and dragged me back into that horrible room. I didn't go quietly, trust me. I kicked and screamed for all I was worth. Finally, they got me into that room and in that horrible pink frilly chair by the vanity.

Now I really felt sick.

I seriously wanted to die right then. I really did. I would go through that day when I almost got hit by Tyler's van all over again to avoid this. I would rather get hit by Tyler's van than go through this. Unfortunately, I really didn't have any choice in the matter.

After five minutes--a long time for Esme--she finally had me forced into my worst nightmare. Literally. I found myself in an awful bright fuchsia dress with a neck scarf and a big flower on the skirt. I had a glass flower headband and a necklace like Alice's and Rosalie's, along with one of those hideous baskets. I whimpered. It was awful. Easter was now officially my least favorite holiday ever.

I felt like crying as they pulled me back up the stairs. Emmett laughed at the look on my face, and Jasper didn't even look up from his book, his feet propped up on the armrest of the couch. Edward looked indignant and mad. I was glad someone was on my side.

"Well Emmett," said Rosalie, spinning, "what do you think?"

"Gorgeous, of course," he said. We all rolled our eyes. Except Rosalie; she was on a roll.

"Jasper? What about you? How do I look?" Rosalie waited for his reply.

He didn't even look up. "Like a beautiful blond pineapple," he said in a fake New York accent. Then he dropped the accent to say, "now go away." Rosalie scowled at him.

"Edward, you think I look great, don't you." It wasn't even a question.

He was a little whiny about it though. "But--but--but...Bella should be wearing blue. It's her best color! You look great though, Rose, really," he added quickly as she glared.

"How come you guys don't have to do this kind of thing?" I demanded. "You guys don't have to dress up."

Boy, that really took the smiles off their faces. Jasper went pale behind his book; Edward looked nervous and bit his lip; Emmett looked from side to side.

"Don't say anything to Esme," he threatened me. "She might have forgotten this year. If you remind her, I swear I'll--"

I never found out exactly what he was going to do though, because Esme came up and said cooly, "Why Emmett, thank you for reminding me. Boys, downstairs, now." They looked like they were going to make a run for it, but Esme beckoned imperiously and they resigned. With a few mumbles of "yes Mother" they trudged downstairs.

"What's she going to do to them," I asked a giggling Alice.

"You'll see," she laughed evilly.

Oh, I saw all right. And I was grateful for my hideous dress.

Bunny suits.

They were wearing--bunny suits.

Emmett's was white and fluffy to the extreme. He couldn't even put his arms down! And Jasper--poor Jasper--was in a suit that was a pattern of an American flag. He looked livid. And then poor Edward was in a furry pink bunny suit. He looked ready to die.

I guess I'm not the only one who hates Easter.