Chapter 14 A Change
September 13, 2012
"You're not starting?"
"I'm a freshman, Dad. They're not going to put someone who just came out of high school up first, no matter how good I was," Nathan said.
Dan had come up for one of his periodic visits. Nathan wasn't sure why he even bothered, all he ever did was complain about how he wasn't training hard enough, making the right plays, taking the right shots, hanging out with the right people, etcetera, etcetera. Whenever he left to go back home it was always a relief.
"If you'd listened to me when you were in high school you could've . . ."
"What are you talking about Dad? You only played for one year in—"
"And I did more with that year than you will do with your entire college career if you don't start listening to me!"
"Give it up Dad, okay?"
"You'd better start taking my advice or—"
"Or what? You'll fly back to Florida and leave me alone? Oh, the horror. Please don't do that." Nathan finished sarcastically.
"Unbelievable."
Dan was angrier at his son than he'd ever been but he wasn't self-aware enough to realize why. Nathan had been steadily drawing away from his father ever since he'd moved out of Tree Hill. The only time Dan was ever in town was when he had a game—he didn't care about the award he received for maintaining a 3.6 GPA or anything else that wasn't directly related to basketball. He hadn't bothered to show up to that event—Haley had practically been doing back flips when he'd received his plaque.
"Fine," Dan said. "Fail on your own. I'm done."
Nathan looked at his father skeptically.
"The only thing I've ever tried to do was give you the opportunity to be the best player possible and you threw it back in my face. You think you're so damn smart? In a couple years you'll see that the truth about the people you've surrounded yourself with. You think they can help you reach what you want?"
"So when you said that you were done I guess you didn't mean that you were done talking?" Nathan asked.
Dan turned and walked away.
Nathan walked into his first college practice session and had a profound feeling that he'd done this before. He laughed at himself, he had done this before—with Whitey four years ago. But this time he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut on the first day.
He'd thought that Whitey would forget about it, but he never did. To this day he called him "The Jokester." He'd hoped he would eventually take it easy on him but he never had, not once, and he was a better player because of it.
Dan had never had much to say about the coach and Nathan had no idea what kind of relationship they'd had. In his case, Whitey had pushed him to do better, and not just on the court. When he'd found out about Nathan's bus-stealing stunt he'd expected him to end his season. But when he went to his office Whitey had just looked at him before getting up and sitting next to him.
"I hear that your parents are getting a divorce."
"Yes." Nathan looked at the door.
"If you ever do anything like this again you'll be getting splinters in your butt, because you'll never get off the bench again. Are we clear?"
Nathan looked at him in surprise. "You're not going to pull me out of the game?"
"No. But if you get one bad grade or even one speeding ticket I'll make sure your senior year is a bust. Do we understand each other?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good. Now get out of here."
Nathan looked around the Duke gymnasium and felt his excitement build. It was going to be an incredible year.
Haley adjusted the skirt that Brooke had recommended for her. It was okay but a little shorter than she was used to.
"Haley?"
She turned around and gave the man behind her a friendly smile. "Mark, thanks for meeting me."
"No problem," his eyes were amused, "it's not every day that a beautiful woman calls me up and asks me out for lunch."
"Thank you." Haley grinned.
They walked towards Kasey's, a popular restaurant on campus and Mark asked, "What do you think about our professor?"
"I like him, he actually makes business accounting seem interesting."
"What, you mean you don't think it's fascinating?"
"Do you?" Haley said. "Think about your answer because if you say yes this date might be over in about two minutes."
Mark laughed. "It's okay. I've been doing it all my life, really. My father made me handle the books for his business during the summer."
"Really? That sounds . . ."
"Really boring?"
"I was going to say . . . yeah, boring. I'm not even going to try and lie to you."
Mark laughed again. "That's why I took some time off to travel last year."
"Where'd you go?"
"Mexico, Japan, China, Australia, France. . ." Mark held the door open for her as they walked in.
Haley slid into the booth and picked up a menu. "Wow, I'm impressed."
"Have you done any traveling?"
"The farthest I've been is California, but I'm happy to stay put for a while—even though I'd love to see those places someday."
"I'm sure you will," Mark said confidently, "it's an amazing experience, I'd recommend it for anyone."
Haley looked into Mark's warm brown eyes and felt a little flutter in her stomach. She held up her menu to hide the slight blush in her cheeks.
After they'd finished their shakes Haley and Mark walked back to his dorm together.
"Are you sure that you don't want me to take you back home?" Mark asked. "It feels a little strange for you to be walking me to my door."
"I've got to meet up with a friend, and besides, you never know who might be lurking around here waiting to take advantage of you." Haley moved closer. "You might need some protection."
"Miss two inches over five feet is going to protect me?"
"I have a brown belt in judo," Haley said.
"Right."
"I'm serious." Haley had signed up for classes when she was at Stanford after a girl on campus had been assaulted. She'd only planned on taking it for a couple weeks but she found that she loved it.
"Maybe you can show me some of your moves next time."
"Maybe."
Haley's face was turned up and Mark leaned in to kiss her and she closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck. Mark kept his hands away from any danger zones but he did slide one hand up her neck and moved her so he could throw them into a more involved kiss.
He bit down on her bottom lip lightly before stepping back out of her arms.
"Can I call you?" he asked.
"Sure," Haley said, a little breathless.
She stood there for a few minutes after he'd gone inside, smiling to herself before letting out a soft laugh and walking off.
Her cell phone rang and she picked up. "Hello?"
"Well?" Brooke asked.
"I'm not even going to ask how you could possibly know that my date was over."
"Do not question my abilities, Hales. He liked the skirt, didn't he?"
"He loved the skirt."
"You kissed," Brooke said with certainty.
"Why are we even talking? You obviously already know everything that happened."
"Details, James, or I'm gonna have to hurt you."
"He's an incredible kisser." Haley grinned.
Brooke practically squealed. "I knew it! Don't let him play hard to get when you see him again, get that boy in bed as soon as possible."
"Hey, I don't work that fast, I have a five date minimum before I start thinking about that."
"Screw that. Do you like him?"
"Yeah."
"Do you want him?"
"Yes." Haley giggled.
"So, have a little fun."
"Maybe. I'm not quite ready to let my slut flag fly just yet."
"By the way, dinner is at Karen's house this week. Spread the word."
"Thanks, I'll talk to you later."
"I'll get you some birth control."
Haley shook her head. Only Brooke would use a statement like that to close a conversation.
Nathan shot another free throw. "Twenty-four," he murmured under his breath.
Haley watched him but didn't say anything, not wanting to break his concentration, but she wasn't sure if she could anyway. His focus was unwavering. She didn't think he'd notice her even if she jumped up and down and waved her arms.
"Twenty-five. Twenty-six. Twenty-seven. Twenty-eight. Twenty-nine. Thir—" The ball was about to go in but it bounced off the rim and out of the basket.
"Damn," Nathan said mildly. He shrugged, picked the ball up again, and made another shot. "One."
"What are you doing?" Haley asked.
Nathan spun around. He only looked surprised for a moment before regaining control of his features.
"Isn't it obvious?"
"You made twenty-nine in a row. Are you sure that you want to start over?"
"I have to do thirty before I can stop."
"Is your father making you do this?"
Nathan laughed. "Not anymore."
"Is one really going to make a difference?"
"One shot can decide a game." Nathan let the ball roll out of his fingers. His form was perfect. "Two."
"I suppose." Haley shook her head.
"What are you doing here?"
"Lucas told me that you'd be here and I wanted to check up on you. I was worried that we might see a repeat of your first day with Whitey."
Nathan laughed. "Everything went great. Nobody hates me yet."
"Always a good sign."
Nathan shot again. "Three."
Haley smiled appreciatively. "I could never do what you do."
"Of course you could."
Haley walked up and stopped at the edge of the court. "Even if I had the interest or the talent, I don't have the discipline."
Nathan tossed the ball to her and she caught it, which was a surprise to her. The last time she tried to play basketball with Lucas they'd agreed—for the sake of their friendship—to never do it again.
"I've seen you spend hours working over your papers, agonizing over one paragraph. This isn't any different."
"I think it's a little different. You have the strictest schedule I've ever seen."
"It's not that bad. Besides, being focused in training helps me maintain control in other areas of my life."
"Like what?" Haley tried dribbling the ball and it hit her foot and skittered away. She laughed at herself as Nathan scooped up the ball easily.
Nathan ignored her question. "Come here."
"I don't know, Nathan. If I put one foot on your court I might jinx it."
"I'm too good for you to jinx me."
"Modest." Haley moved forward so that she could stand next to him on the free throw line.
Nathan handed her the ball. "Try and make one."
"I don't know . . ."
"I let you look over my crappy papers."
"Your papers aren't as bad as my shooting." Nathan just raised an eyebrow. "You don't know how horrible I really am."
Nathan didn't say any more, he just looked at her and Haley shrugged and tried to put the ball up. It didn't even come close to the basket. It didn't even hit the backboard.
"See?" Haley said.
Nathan ran to retrieve the ball. "Okay, I might have to rethink being seen with you in public."
"Shut up. I'm leaving, because this is embarrassing.
Haley tried to walk away but Nathan caught her and put the ball back in her hands. She struggled but he put his arms around her waist and lifted her up; he ignored her protests and put her back on the line.
She glared at him but he just moved behind her and said, "Square your shoulders to the basket."
Haley rolled her eyes but she did it.
"Put your hands up . . . like this . . . support the ball with your right and guide it with your left . . . good."
His voice was so calm it was almost hypnotic and she just did as he said. Haley knew that Nathan was never more at ease than when he was playing. He'd had his moments where he'd lost his temper and made some questionable choices when he was younger—but even with all of that she couldn't really characterize his behavior as hot-headed. He usually kept himself in check—until he couldn't push it down anymore and said or did something explosive. But the quietness he displayed off the court wasn't serenity, it was . . . repression. That was the word she was looking for. Nathan played from the heart but when he didn't have a ball in his hands it was like he took all his emotions and stuffed them down deep inside.
Nathan put his hands on her waist and pushed down gently, "Bend your knees."
Haley felt herself relax, which she never did when involved with a sport that didn't involve a bowling ball or a ping-pong table. She just let him guide her.
"Now shoot."
Nathan was so close that he could feel Haley's warmth, smell her hair, and sense the way her body moved when she shot. He didn't even need to look to know that the ball went in, nothing but net.
"I did it!" Haley laughed and jumped into his arms, hugging him hard. "I tried to get Lucas to show me how to do this and the experience nearly killed us both."
Nathan held her a little longer, enjoying her excitement, before setting her down.
"That was good, and you looked sexy doing it, too."
Haley looked a little surprised at that. Nathan turned away and covered his slip by bending down to pick up the ball.
She smiled cheekily. "Well, thank you. I'd better hit the town before it wears off."
"I'd better get started again or I'm going to be here all night."
"Okay." Haley started to back away. "Dinner's at Karen's house this week. You'll be there?"
"Wouldn't miss it."
Haley left and Nathan started shooting again. He missed five in a row and he sat down on the bleachers to relax for a couple minutes. His focus was completely shot—being around Haley always unbalanced him—and he waited for the feeling to pass so that he could regain control.
It was Nathan's first college game—well, not his first. He'd been on the team for months but this was the first game where he'd actually be playing. Haley sat in the stands by herself for the first time ever. She was a little surprised Dan hadn't been able to make it. Even though Tallahassee had been hit by some bad weather she'd thought it would take a tsunami to keep Dan Scott away. She'd left Lucas at home; he'd been brought down by a stomach virus.
When she'd seen him he'd told her, "I'm not dying. I just wish that I was."
She'd thought about inviting Mark along, they'd been seeing each other at least three times a week and he was amazing. She wasn't sure if she was ready to introduce him to her entire gang yet even though he'd already met Lucas and Nathan. She and Brooke had been all over every detail of their relationship and they'd agreed that Mark seemed to be really into her. They'd just had a date yesterday and she didn't want to seem too pushy.
Karen had to stay home and work because the person who was covering her shift suddenly cancelled; Deb was stuck out in California helping her parents—her dad had had some chest pains and even though he was fine they were still shaken up; and Dan's flight out from Florida must have been cancelled suddenly because of flooding.
Haley clutched her Blue Devils flag in her hands as she watched Nathan run out onto the floor in his warm-up suit. She jumped up to cheer and wave it over her head when the game started and they announced the starters. Somehow Nathan's eyes found hers, even in the sea of faces, and he nodded at her.
The Devils had lost. Haley tried to work her way down to the edge of the bleachers so that she could tell Nathan that he'd been great anyway, but the crowd was so heavy that she gave up and walked downstairs, near the locker rooms. Hopefully Nathan saw her wave and would meet her down there.
"Hey," said a deep voice behind her.
Haley whirled around and saw an Eagles player towering over her. He was still winded from the game.
"I'm Chad Thatcher. Who are you back here waiting for?"
"Haley James." She shook the hand that he offered her. "I'm a friend of Nathan's."
Chad's expression altered slightly and he laughed. "Oh, a 'friend'? He's lucky to have such beautiful friends."
"Thanks." Haley began to feel a little uncomfortable—even though Chad hadn't really done anything—but she wasn't the kind of woman who ignored her instincts. Suddenly she noticed that the bustling activity was gone and the two of them were standing there alone.
"We used to play against each other at every single basketball camp in North Carolina. His father was such a hard-ass. Is he here?"
"He couldn't make it." Haley glanced over his shoulder.
"That's too bad." Chad smiled but it only made her more uncomfortable.
"Well, nice meeting you," Haley said briefly. She started to walk back towards the bleachers when she felt his large hand fall on her shoulder.
She jerked away from him and spun around to face him while walking backwards so that she wouldn't have her back to him.
"Calm down." Chad held up his hands, "I just wanted to ask you to give Nathan a message for me."
Haley didn't stop moving. "I think you should know better than to get grabby with women you don't know."
Chad snorted. "You girls all like to play this game."
At that, the little alarm that had been tinkling in Haley's mind starting ringing like the Liberty Bell and she turned to run. Before she could get two steps Chad had grabbed her shoulder, spun her around, and had her slammed up against the wall.
"I bet you aren't like this with Nathan, right? I'll bet you're a little nicer, then. Only go for the star players?" he hissed. "I hope you noticed that we won tonight, your boyfriend's playing in a different league now."
"Get off me!" Haley tried to scream but he clapped a hand over her mouth.
Haley went limp and let her weight pull her out of his arms and onto the floor. As soon as she hit the ground she kicked upwards as hard as she could and landed a glancing blow on Chad's groin.
He groaned and doubled over but he managed to stumble after her when she got to her feet. The hit was enough to hurt him, but not to stop him.
Her eyes were watering so she couldn't really see where she was going and she ran smack into what felt like a wall when another set of arms wrapped around her. She started to struggle and then she heard the voice that belonged to them.
"Haley?"
"Nathan!" She stared up at him and then crumpled into his embrace while he looked uncomprehendingly at her disheveled state and then up at Chad who looked even worse.
For a minute he was too stunned to realize what had happened but then it snapped into place. His face didn't change expression when he launched himself at Chad.
For Nathan, it was like time slowed. He felt himself gently set Haley aside and then without realizing how it happened his knuckles hurt. His knuckles hurt because they struck Chad's face again and again and again.
Then people were holding him back, pulling him off, he didn't even recognize his teammates. All he wanted at that moment, more than anything else in the world, was to have his hands around that bastard's throat.
Haley sat in Nathan's apartment at his coffee table, putting medication on his bruised fingers; her touch was sure and gentle. He tried to look in her eyes but she kept her gaze fixed firmly on his hands.
"You're going to be a little sore for a day or two but you should be fine," she said, her tone matter-of-fact.
"Thanks." Nathan looked at her closely.
She got up to throw away the cotton balls and band-aid paraphernalia but Nathan caught her hands and made her sit in front of him.
"Are you okay? You haven't said anything about what"—Nathan swallowed back the rage—"Chad did."
Haley shrugged. "I'm fine. I managed to get away from him, I think that I would have been able to escape even if you hadn't shown up. I'm . . . fine."
"You're not fine," Nathan said bluntly. "And I'm not fine."
Haley finally looked at him and she smiled gently, but her eyes remained dry. His weren't.
"I'm a little shaken up," she admitted.
"We should call . . ." Nathan hesitated, "Mark."
Nathan didn't like the guy, he'd never liked any of Haley's boyfriends. But even he had to admit that he was good to Haley.
"I . . . no."
"Or your parents and Lucas—"
"No!"
"Haley . . ."
"No. I don't want to call anybody. My parents will be worried but it's over. And Lucas will just get upset and he's sick right now and I don't feel like bothering him about this."
"Bothering him?" Nathan looked incredulous.
Nathan didn't even think, he just pulled Haley into his lap and held her tightly. She kept her arms crossed tightly until she began to shake and then she wrapped them around him and held him fiercely.
"I would never let anything happen to you," Nathan whispered in her ear.
She didn't reply, she only hugged him tighter.
Nathan woke up in his bed with a start, hours later, and stared up into the dim light that came through the window. He turned his head to look at the clock: six in the morning.
Haley was curled into his side, one leg and one arm draped over him. He'd carried her into his room but he hadn't wanted to leave her. He'd sat on the edge of the bed holding her hand. He must have fallen asleep and laid down next to her.
He felt his body react to her nearness and cursed himself for being the worst kind of pig. She'd just been attacked and he woke up next to her hard and wanting.
He slid out of bed carefully and slipped into the bathroom. Nathan stared at himself in the mirror before grabbing the sides of the sink hard and letting his head hang until he got control of himself again.
He walked back to the bed and looked at her. She shivered and reached out a hand and he sat down to look at her. She was breathing peacefully and the intimacy of it made a feeling rise in his chest that almost felt like pain.
She stirred and he spoke quietly.
"Hey, sleeping beauty," he whispered.
Haley smiled, woke up slightly, and stretched out a hand to touch him. "Nathan," she said softly.
She slipped back under without a ripple and Nathan stood up with his heart in his throat. He wanted to climb back into bed with her and hold her close. He stared down at her sleeping face for a long time; then pulled a blanket over her and walked out.
February 16, 2013
Mark sat next to Haley at the dinner table and the man's manners were impeccable, Karen and Deb were completely charmed. Nathan was polite but inside he was seething. Haley had never invited one of her boyfriends to their dinners. Even though Mark was perfectly nice he felt like the man was an intruder.
"I can't believe that Nathan's going to be starting his sophomore year in September." Deb said, a little dazed. "Where is the time going? I swear that the years are passing by faster and faster."
"Tell me about it." Karen said ruefully. "Some of the girls who used to work for me are having children of their own."
Keith smiled at her, "I worked a full shift at my shop yesterday instead of letting the guy I hired handle it and I'm still feeling it."
"I feel for you guys," Lucas interjected, "I really do."
"I thought I taught you to keep quiet when grown-ups are talking," Karen teased.
"I don't think that lesson ever really took."
"Oh, Deb," Karen said, "How's your dad?"
"He's feeling much better, my mom has him on a strict diet. She's trying to get him down to their place on Malibu." Deb took another bite of her rigatoni.
"Do your parents ever have time to use their beachfront property, Mrs. Scott?" Mark asked.
"Please, call me Deb. And, no, they've been renting it out for the past couple years. My dad likes to stay at the house they have near San Jose."
"That's a smart move, my father has been renting out properties there and it's a great investment."
Nathan barely managed to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Why was it that he was the only one who seemed to be annoyed with Mark? The man sat there and managed to eat Karen's rigatoni without getting one drop of sauce on himself or his napkin. That was just unnatural.
"Haley tells me that your parents live in Montana." Brooke smiled at Mark.
"They used to live in California too but they wanted some peace and quiet so they moved out there three years ago."
"Not much of anything to do there, right?" Nathan asked.
"Not really," Mark turned to Haley, "when we go there to visit make sure that you pack all your favorite DVDs."
Brooke smiled slightly and asked another question but Nathan had already tuned everything out. He excused himself as soon as possible and went up to his old room.
He lay on his bed, tossing his basketball in the air.
"Did you hear that, Hales?" Brooke's excited whisper carried into his room. "He wants you to meet his parents."
"Calm down," Haley could hardly contain her grin, "he was just posing a hypothetical. He wasn't really asking me."
"Trust me, he was asking. He's just being smooth about it."
Haley laughed quietly. "I know better than to doubt you."
Their voices moved off and Nathan sat up. He had to get out of here.
A while later he was on the Rivercourt. His exertions made him sweat and he ripped off his shirt and kept going. Finally he exhausted all the frenetic energy that had built up inside him while he'd watched Mark sit there with his arm on the back of Haley's chair and while he smiled over at her and moved the hair out of her face.
Nathan sat down at the bench and put his head in his hands. He was overreacting. Mark was just another guy. Haley seemed to like him a lot but he didn't need to worry, she'd break up with him soon.
But he couldn't do this anymore. He was tired of watching Haley with other guys; seeing them with her made him feel like he was twice his age. When Haley looked at him she didn't see a young man, but he just needed a little more time . . . he just needed to be a little older. He would talk to her, soon. Mark would be the last man he'd watch take what should be his place in Haley's life.
"I'm getting married!"
Karen's mouth dropped open. "Oh my God. How? When?"
"Mark popped the question this weekend!"
They were all over at Deb's house, sitting in the living room after dinner. Haley had seemed a little preoccupied but he hadn't realized that it was because of the announcement she'd just sprung on them all.
Nathan just stood there, completely floored, while Brooke, Karen, and his mother hugged Haley excitedly. Lucas seemed to be surprised too, he just blinked at Haley. It wasn't possible that things had gotten this serious with Mark.
He must have smiled and said all the right things because no one seemed to notice that anything was amiss with him.
He walked up to his room—numbed and shocked—and laid back on his bed. He tossed his basketball up in the air: watching it rise and fall, rise and fall.
"I really can't believe this." Brooke was still stunned, hours later. "Isn't this a little fast?"
"You're always the one telling me that I should be more impulsive."
"Yeah, but I meant when you're shopping. This . . . this is big."
"I know." Haley grinned happily. "Don't worry, we're going to have a long engagement, but he's just so . . ." Haley threw her hands in the air.
"You've got to let me throw the bachelorette party."
"Okay," Haley said warily, "but when the party's over I still want to be engaged, so nothing too wild."
"Don't worry, I'm saving the male prostitute for when I get married."
Haley raised her eyebrows. "Does that mean . . ."
"Not yet, but I know we're headed that way."
Haley took Brooke's hands. "I'm going to need you to help me with the dresses for my maids of honor."
"No problem. I can find three dresses with my eyes closed."
"Four."
"What? I thought you had three sisters."
"Three sisters and you."
Brooke grinned and her eyes became suspiciously bright. "I can't believe that you asked me to be your maid of honor like this!"
"Did you want me to get down on one knee?" Haley teased.
Brooke hugged Haley and then flitted out the door. "I've got to go shopping."
"We haven't even set a date for the wedding yet!" Haley called after her.
"So?"
Practice was not going well. Nathan was playing okay, but that definitely wasn't good enough for the coach, and it definitely wasn't good enough for him.
He dribbled the ball up the court. He faked the left when Ken Dorisman, a sophomore, tried to guard him.
He put the ball up but Ken managed to smack it out of his hands.
"Nathan!" Omar, the assistant coach, yelled. "Get your mind back in the game! What's wrong with you?"
Nathan gritted his teeth and ran back to the other side of the court. He didn't get there in time to stop them from scoring. He took the ball back to the basket again, and Ken tried to get in his way. He charged forward, bowling the other player over and dunking the ball hard.
"What the hell!" Ken got up of the floor and got in Nathan's face.
"You want to start something?" Nathan taunted.
One of the other players got between them. Omar's blood pressure seemed rise ten points in an instant. "Get over here, Scott." he ordered.
Nathan jogged over, his expression set.
"What the fuck was that?"
Nathan remained mutinously silent.
"I said, what the fuck was that?"
"Nothing, I was trying to . . ."
"Trying to take out one of our players during practice? Is there something that's on your mind? Anything I can help you with?" Omar asked sarcastically.
Nathan rolled his eyes.
"Get the fuck off my court."
"It would be my pleasure." Nathan stalked away.
"What is going on with you, Nathan?" Deb asked.
"Nothing."
"This is obviously not nothing. Your grades are horrible, I haven't heard from you in weeks and now you're fighting with your teammates? Do you want to get thrown off the team?"
"Mom, back off!"
"There must be something seriously wrong if you think that you can speak to me that way." Deb stared him down.
". . . I'm sorry."
"Talk."
"I can't, Mom. I just can't."
"You can't talk about it, or you can't talk about it with me?"
Nathan shrugged. "Both."
"Maybe Lucas . . ."
"No! No, I can't talk to Lucas about it."
"You've got to give me something to go on here, Nathan. Because right now all these worst-case scenarios are running through my head."
"I'm not on drugs or anything, Mom." Nathan sighed.
"I'm glad to hear that. So what is it? Woman trouble?"
Nathan tensed.
"I see. Who is she?"
Nathan remained silent.
"Can I get a name . . . no? Come on, you used to talk to me about the girls in your life all the time."
"It's over. I mean, it never even started but now it's over."
"I've never seen you like this over a girl, you've always kept your relationships so casual."
"Mom, do we have to talk about this?"
"Look, Nathan, you've never even had one serious girlfriend. I mean . . . are you gay?"
"Mom!"
"What? It wouldn't matter to me, Nathan. I love you no matter what."
"Mom! I'm not gay!"
"It's just that I heard that when young men start acting up sometimes it's because they're confused about their sexuality."
"Mom! Please!"
"Okay. So you're not gay."
Nathan sat down and put his head in his hands. "Look, I had feelings for a girl and she doesn't feel the same way about me and I guess I let it get to me."
"Oh, Nate. I'm sorry."
"Me too." Nathan's voice broke a little. "I've got to go."
"Nathan, you don't have to be alone all the time. It's okay to let people help you."
"I know."
"So what's her name?"
Nathan sighed. "Rachel Gattina. Can we just keep this between us? I don't really want to talk about it."
"Of course, Nathan. So you liked Rachel?"
"Yeah, I really did. She's gorgeous, smart and funny. And now she's with someone else," he finished quietly.
"Nathan, does she know how you really feel about her?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because she's in love with this other guy, I can tell."
Deb sighed. "Then you have to let go."
"I'm trying."
"I don't mean just telling yourself that you have to let her go. You have to stop spending time with her. Try to limit your contact with her for at least a couple months. Give yourself some time to heal and maybe afterwards you'll be able to look at her and just see a friend."
"Maybe."
"Look, when your father and I got divorced it was really hard when I found out that he was dating again."
Nathan's attention sharpened. "Really? But you hated Dad."
"I was angry at him, I thought that I did hate him. But I wouldn't have been so angry if I hadn't cared about him. It took me a long time to move past it."
"Mom, you still can't stand Dad."
"Hey, I can be in the same room with him without wanting to hit him on the head with my vase." Deb looked over at it; the thing was made out of stone and weighed at least forty pounds. "I call that progress."
Nathan smiled. "Thanks Mom."