Here's the Number, Now FAX it to Me! Chapter 7: Animal I Have Become, a maximum ride fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or the song in this fic.

My name is Ari, and I'm a complete and total monster. I'm an Eraser, a human lupine hybrid. No, I'm nothing like a werewolf. Werewolves have it made compared to me. Hell is only one word to describe my life. If you had to live in my shoes for just one day, you would kill yourself. I would know. I've tried.

I can't escape this hell
So many times I've tried

Yet, here I stand, still alive, not dead yet. I'm stuck here in this place. The real world would never accept me, and this world that I have to live in I can't accept. I need help, somebody to help me survive. I need someone to help me get through this nightmare that is my life, but they never could. I can't control my actions. Never have been able to, and I never will.

But I'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

But who cares if you can see past the dark side of me? Even if someone could see through my anger and hate, they can't change who I am. No one, not even you, can change this . . . animal I've become. Nobody can save me from the animal I am.

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become

You can try, though, to make me think that it's not me who's doing this. I have fought and almost killed multiple living things. Honestly, this isn't who I wanted to be. I had no choice. They did this to me. This monster isn't the real me, but I'm starting to lose hope in that lie. Somebody, anybody, please, help me take control of the animal inside of me. Help me tame this animal.

Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal

Face it, you can't help me. How can you help me when I can't even help myself? I've tried again and again to deny what I have become. More than once I've tried to escape from a prison that has become me. I've lied to myself so many times, saying that there is hope for me, but there never is. There never was any hope for me.

I can't escape myself
So many times I've lied.

Even if I accept that there's nothing for me to look forward to, that there's no way to change me, I'm never pleased. There's always going to be this anger and resentment stored inside of me. It's like the rage was imbedded into my genes, and it will always be inside of me, no matter what I do. Oh, please, if someone can help me, please, please, do your best and try! I'm living my own nightmare, and I can't control what will happen next in this game of life or death.

But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

What's the point in asking for help? Who cares if you're insightful enough to look beyond my horrid looks and deathly feel? Not even I can change what I've become. You can't make me believe what's right in front of me. I'm an animal, an animal! Try as much as you want, but you'll never tame me. Never. Not even I can do it, and if I can't, no one can. Don't even try to tame this animal in me, even if I plead for your assistance. More than anything, though, I want help. I don't want to be this animal. I want to be free! I want someone to help me tame this animal.

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal

I want someone to reach out and help me. This nightmare that I'm living in, I don't know how much longer I can live through it. The more I think about, the more enraged I get, and I can't control what I do. I've hurt so many innocent lives when I lose my temper. Somebody needs to wake me up! I don't want to be a murderer. I don't want to hurt people. I don't want to live like this, but I can't get out. I've been in too deep since I was born. This was hell I was born into, and there's no escape for me or anyone else who gets involved.

Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this hell

I'm torn between life and death. I am pure darkness, and some of you have been unfortunate enough to experience this dark side. No one can change who I am, though. It's impossible. Do what you want. Help try to convince me that this vicious animal inside isn't really me. Go ahead, try to tame the beast, but you'll never be able to do it.

It's too late. No one could help me. No one would have wanted to anyway. I was forcibly changed into this monster, and there was never a chance at changing that. I wish I could say sorry for the people who tried to help me, but you couldn't have saved me. Nobody could ever have saved me from the animal I had become. You can't save someone from death when it's already too late.

This animal I have become

Okay, a bit different for me. I usually don't literally put the lyrics of songs into song fics...or song inspired fics in my case. But I felt like being different today.

I've had the idea for this quickie for a while now. Actually, it's been a few weeks, and I just haven't had the time or brain power to physically type it out. xD

Song is Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace. It's a really great song. I chose Ari to go with this fic because, well, Ari never gets any attention, and because I didn't think this song fit any of the flock members as well as Ari. He was actually the first character that came to mind when I thought about putting this song into story format. So there you go. One of the many methods to my madness.

Really sorry for not posting anything here anytime sooner. I know I've had that Author's note up since mid/late March and now it's April...Really sorry again.

Still...reviews would still be nice! :D

- Saz