Sorry for the long time to update I've just been really busy with work and personal things so unfortunately I don't see it changing anytime soon so updates are going to remain scarce unless I manage to nab free time, sorry.
ALL THE REGRETS IN THE WORLD (RATED M FOR SMUT)
"It's been five months, what is he waiting for?" Kate asked her best friend Claire.
Claire shook her head at her friend's obvious distress. "I don't know but you did tell him you wanted to be friends." She said with a raised eyebrow.
"Of course I said that. I said that five months ago when we were getting rescued from that damn island. I didn't know what was going to happen I thought I was on my way to prison I couldn't promise him anymore than that." Kate said.
"True" Claire said, "But when it ended up that you weren't going to prison you ended up hooked up with Sawyer, who couldn't wait to tell Jack all the details." Claire said. Kate was her best friend but Claire didn't always agree with her and the Sawyer issue was the biggest thing. Claire sometimes felt the way Kate treated Jack was a little unfair.
Kate looked at Claire remorse in her eyes. "I never slept with him, we went on like two dates which basically consisted of going to a dingy bar while Sawyer tried to make contacts. I told Jack I never slept with Sawyer and that he was lying." Kate said slightly defensively. Sawyer was a sore subject between Kate and Claire. On the island Claire and Jack had discovered they were brother and sister and with that came Claire's need to look out for Jack. When Kate had gone out with Sawyer it had taken a couple weeks for Claire to speak to Kate all in defense of Jack.
"You might not have slept with him but you went on two dates with him, how many dates have you given Jack? None if I'm correct." Claire pointed out gently.
"Ok fine lets just say that first month I royally screwed things up but by the end of that month things were back to normal. So let's say four months I have been hinting and throwing myself at Jack and he hasn't done anything about it. I'm not being egotistical but I know he has feelings for me, every time we even touch by accident sparks fly." Kate said rubbing her eyes she knew Claire was right to be judgmental of Kate's actions. She had been a selfish bitch when it came to Jack. She took him for granted and she regretted it ever being that way. She wanted things to go back like they were on the island where she and Jack could just sit on the beach and talk for hours. Now she had to call him two weeks in advance just to meet for coffee he was so busy.
"I want to be with him Claire, and only him and I just don't know how to tell him." Kate said. She glanced up and noticed Claire playing with her salad looking uncomfortable.
"What? What do you know?" she asked watching the blonde woman look at her warily.
"What are you getting on about?" Claire asked trying to play innocent and failing miserably at it.
"What do you know about Jack, what aren't you telling me?" Kate asked again.
Claire knew she was busted and gave a little sigh. "It's just I think Jack saw you with Sawyer and even when that was over you flirted with Jack but you never gave him any indication you wanted more. I think he's just been trying to respect your friends only request you made. I think he might be tired of waiting around for you." She said so quietly Kate barely made out the last part.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked her breath catching in her throat.
"Well you've kind of played him for these last couple months and now all of a sudden you want him and maybe he got tired of the whole thing. Maybe he's decided to move on." Claire said.
"Move on?" Kate asked quietly.
"Yeah you know like dating and stuff" Claire said finding her food very interesting to stare at.
"He's been dating?" Kate asked a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was her own damn fault though. Jack had offered his love and she had turned him down, not because of lack of interest but because she thought she was going to jail. When she was released and her life was suddenly ahead of her she went kind of crazy just wanting to live like a free person. That was where the whole Sawyer thing came in. Worst part about it was Jack had shyly asked her to dinner but she had made an excuse so she could go with Sawyer. Not that she cared all that much about the southerner but that she knew she could go crazy and let her hair down. She had agreed to a second date but had been drunk at the time and regretted the second one just as much as the first one. Things would have been fine but Sawyer had gone to brag about the dates to Jack and Jack did the math to figure it out that Kate had turned him down for Sawyer. Truth was back then she was terrified of Jack. He wanted to settle down and she wanted to be free. Now she wanted nothing more than him and he kept treating her like an old school friend. They would laugh, share a beer or two but nothing romantic. Kate had even asked him on a date but he had asked for a rain check since he had to work that night. She had said of course and had been waiting since then for him to cash it in. She had even reminded him once that he still had a deal but he had just smiled and changed the subject. God she was so stupid. She had her chance with the perfect man and had screwed it up royally.
"Uh yeah well there is this one girl. They've been out a couple times." Claire said.
"You've met her?" Kate asked and Claire nodded.
"We uh all went out to dinner one night, her, Jack me and Charlie." Claire said.
Kate's mouth opened stunned. "You went out with them and never said a thing about her? Claire you're my best friend."
"Yes I am but Jack is also my brother and I'm sorry Kate but you treated him like crap and if he's moved on than you have no one to blame but yourself." Claire said crankily, she didn't mean to be so nasty to Kate but she was PMSing badly that day.
Kate looked at her food, "I know" she said softly and Claire felt bad for hurting her. She went to apologize but Kate held up her hand. "No you're absolutely right. I'm getting exactly what I deserve. So this girl does she make him happy?" she asked she truly wanted Jack to be happy she had just always wanted it to be with her.
Claire sighed, "Actually I really don't like her all that much, she's bossy and demanding and really high maintenance. I think Jack is with her but I don't see it going far. He wants to get married and have kids and the whole package. She just wants to hang on his arm and tell everyone she's dating a doctor. Plus I don't think she has an ounce of maternal instincts so I can't imagine her allowing her perfectly plastic surgeoned body to be marred by pregnancy." Claire said. "Look I didn't mean to snap at you its just Jack keeps getting hurt in love and if you want to be with him I'll support you a hundred percent but you have to be sure he's what you want. Cause Kate if you get with him and get involved in his life and then decide he's not what you want, I will never speak to you again. So please just be sure." Claire pleaded.
Kate took her friends hand and looked Claire in the eye. "He has been what I've always wanted I've just been too blind to see it" Kate said truthfully.
Claire regarded her thoughtfully for a minute. Then her face broke into a grin. "Excellent, so let's work on getting this bitch out of his life." She said her eyes lit up and Kate couldn't help but laugh.
"Well I think the thing that I need to do is to go and tell your brother everything, including how I feel about him now." Kate said. "If that doesn't work maybe I'll just wear slutty clothes with no panties and see if I can convince him to take me right there on his desk." Kate said with a sigh.
"Oh come on he's my brother" Claire said with a disgusted look on her face. "I'm all for you getting with Jack but that doesn't mean I want details." She whined and Kate just rolled her eyes.
They finished the rest of their lunch and Kate thought about what she was going to say to Jack. She went home and showered and looked at her closet, she needed something that didn't scream hooker but definitely stated that she was his for the taking. She pulled out a black skit and a low cut blouse. The skirt was rather plain and knee length so with the shirt it just looked sexy not slutty. She grabbed a pair of her clunky heels; she liked wearing heels around Jack he was so tall it made it easier for her to talk to him when she was closer to his level. She also knew that heels made her legs look longer and hopefully more appealing to Jack. She fixed up her hair and dabbed on a light amount of makeup and headed out the door.
Jack was sitting at his desk studying some test results when his secretary Betty paged him that Kate Austen was there to see him. He told her to let Kate in and frowned. They didn't have any plans that he knew of. He glanced at his calendar, nope nothing written in. The door opened and he watched as Kate came in. He couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked today but he quickly diverted his eyes, the last thing he needed was for her to see him ogling her. She wanted to be just friends and had basically bashed him over the head with her wishes so he did as she asked. He pulled away and treated her the same way he would any other friend. Though secretly deep down he knew he still loves her, he could never tell her. She wanted to be friends and he knew if he told her he loved her she would blow him off and maybe never speak to him again for pressuring her.
"Hey" he said giving her a small hug. "What are you doing here? Am I supposed to be somewhere?" he asked confused.
Kate giggled and squeezed his arm. "No silly I just came by to say hello and see if you are free for dinner tonight." She asked sitting in the chair across from his desk.
Jack gave her a small smile, "Unfortunately I can't tonight but we should definitely try for another time, maybe you, me, Claire and Charlie could all go do something." He suggested and Kate sighed slightly disappointed. First because he couldn't do dinner and second that he wanted to make it into a group gathering when she just wanted time alone with him.
"Yeah that would be great" Kate said trying to sound enthused. "So how have you been?" she asked. Before he could answer he was interrupted by his secretary paging him.
"Dr. Shephard, Claudia is on line one for you" Betty said.
"Sorry, hold that thought I have to take this." Jack said leaning over to grab the phone.
Kate let her eyes wander over his office as he answered his phone. She knew it was rude but she couldn't help hear his side of the conversation.
"Hey Claudia what's going on?" Jack asked playing with a pen in his hand. "No I didn't forget dinner with your parents," he said with a small roll of his eyes. "Ok I'll see you at seven, ok I'll see you later." He hung up the phone and paged Betty. "Hey Betty can you confirm my reservation tonight for myself, Claudia and her parents?"
"Sure thing Dr. Shephard." Betty replied.
"Thanks Betty you're a life saver" he said with a smirk. He looked back at Kate. "Sorry about that I suddenly couldn't remember if I made the reservations that I just promised I had made." He said sheepishly.
"Dr. Shephard you are all set for 7:30" came Betty's voice over the intercom.
"Whoo dodged that bullet" Jack said with a chuckle.
"So Claudia huh?" Kate tried to make her voice sound teasing the way she would tease a friend though on the inside she felt sick.
"Yeah we met at a fundraiser awhile back. I'm supposed to meet her parents tonight so I'm pretty much expecting everything to go wrong."
"Wow meeting the parents, sounds like you guys are pretty serious." She said.
"It's getting there" Jack said with a shrug of his shoulders. Kate couldn't stand it much longer she needed to tell him she loves him and hopefully he won't kick her out of his office. He looked down at his papers and frowned slightly. "Actually Kate, do you think we could catch up another time, I'm a little swamped and I need to get some of this done before I leave for the night. How about we meet for lunch tomorrow?" he said glancing at his calendar to make sure he was free.
Kate bit her lip knowing she should just agree to meet with him tomorrow but she was afraid she wouldn't have the nerve to tell him the truth. Kate stood and Jack got up to lead her to the door but Kate stopped him by grabbing his arm.
"Actually I came here to tell you something and I know if I never say it I won't find the nerve again. I'm so sorry Jack for what I've put you through. I took you for granted and now I see what my negligence is costing me. I'm in love with you Jack, I've always been I've just been too stupid to handle it the way I should have. I never picked Sawyer over you I just always figured you could always do better than me and it sounds like you might have found a girl for you. Look if you want me the way I want you which is forever the white picket fence, the kids, the dog than meet me at Lincoln Café at one tomorrow. If you don't want me than anything but a friend, than don't show up and we'll go back to being friends and this conversation will have never taken place, ok?" she said nervously and all in one breath.
Jack just stared at her stunned. He didn't know what to say let alone what to think. He looked at her and wondered if the words she spoke actually came out of her mouth. He had always loved Kate but had accepted that they could never be more than friends. He had gotten on with his life had even found a new woman and now Kate wants him back.
He rubbed the back of his neck agitated. "Are you… are you only saying this because I have a girlfriend now?" he asked.
Kate smiled sadly. "No, I've felt this way a long time now but could never find the courage to tell you. I guess I just thought now would be my last chance. Just think about it Jack and make the choice that will make you happy." She gave him a small smile and left his office. He sat their in shock staring at the closed door behind him. He must have sat there for awhile because before he knew it was time for him to meet Claudia and her parents for dinner.
Kate sat on her window seat watching the rain come poring down. She sipped her hot cocoa while contemplating the rain, the dark and her life. She still couldn't believe she had put Jack on the spot like that. What had she been thinking? Now she had to go to the café tomorrow and wait for him to show up. What if he didn't come? Could her heart survive that? She sighed wondering if she had made the biggest mistake of her life when she heard her doorbell ring. She frowned as she headed to the door, she was just wearing a long t-shirt and panties and it was past eleven at night. She wasn't sure she wanted to answer the door. She peaked out the little peephole and was shocked to see Jack. She quickly undid the locks and opened the door to find a very wet and very pissed off looking Jack on her front step.
"Jack I" before she could finish he stepped inside her foyer and slammed the door behind him never taking his eyes off of her. Kate swallowed nervously and took a small step back.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Jack asked angrily. Taking another step towards her, her eyes widened as she could literally feel the waves of his aggression pooling off of him. She went to speak but Jack beat it to her. "I tried Kate, when we got back I tried my hardest to show you I could be the man you needed. I would have given anything for one date and how did you treat me, you went out with that fucking hillbilly twice which also included turning me down. I let you walk all over me and you never once cared that you were ripping my heart out." He shouted.
Kate shook her head "Jack that's not true, I"
"Shut up" he shouted causing Kate to take another step back. "It's my turn to talk and you are going to damn well listen to me" he said angrily. "I got the point Kate it might have taken me some time to accept it but I did. You would never want me as more than a friend, so I did just that Kate. I took all my feelings for you and somehow managed to hide them because I was so pathetic I would rather lie to myself and everyone around me just so I could be your friend. At least that way I could still have you in my life. So I played your little game I never once complained or pressured you into more. I finally got on with my life Kate, I finally accepted that friendship was all we could have. I met Claudia and we got along and now that I'm happy you come out of nowhere and say you love me? I'm sorry you just realized that throwing me away was the stupidest thing you've ever done but you don't have the right to punish me for your mistakes." Jack said trying to catch his breath he couldn't believe he was standing sopping wet in Kate's front hallways screaming at her. He also couldn't believe how liberating it felt to get all of this off his chest. He rubbed his eyes wearily and looked up to see Kate in front of him and he swore under his breath. She had her arms crossed tightly across her chest. Her head was lowered but he could see she had tears streaming down her cheeks as she cowered from him. He sighed and took a step towards her and she jerked her head up to watch him warily taking another step back. He controlled his voice knowing that screaming and scaring her to death was probably not the best way to handle this situation.
"I'm sorry" he said softly. "I didn't mean to come in here screaming and yelling at you and I sure as hell didn't mean to scare you. I was just upset but please don't be afraid of me. I would never hurt you like that." He said looking at the floor. He looked up when he felt her hand caress his cheek gently.
"I know" her voice was shaky. "I know not all men hit and I know you would never be like that, I guess you just caught me off guard" she said with a small smile.
"I'm sorry" Jack said again and Kate rolled her eyes and caressed his cheek again.
"Don't be, you didn't do anything wrong and everything you said was true" Kate said with a sad smile. "I know I had no right to treat you the way I did and I know I have no right to ask the things I did of you. I'm the one who owes you an apology."
Jack sighed and rubbed his neck again. "Kate I really don't know what to say or do here. I was at dinner with Claudia and her parents and all I could think about was you. I don't know what to do" he said and Kate's heart broke at his tone.
"Oh Jack I'm so sorry" she said. "I didn't do this to make you unhappy I swear. I guess all you can do is follow your heart wherever that may lead you."
Jack nodded and he looked at her and she could see the vulnerability in his eyes. "If my heart leads to you, can I be sure you will be there to meet me? I can't invest in us Kate if you're just going to turn and run from me."
Kate shook her head. "No running Jack not anymore. The only running I want to do is to you. I meant what I said Jack I want the entire package with you." She said her heart beating nervously in her chest.
Jack let out a large sigh. "I uh broke things off with Claudia. I don't think I really loved her and I know she didn't love me. I think that was what I was looking for though. I didn't want love that had just caused me too much pain."
Kate felt her breath catch in her throat when he said he and Claudia were through, "What do you want now, Jack?" she asked.
Jack turned to her and never taking his eyes off of her. "What I've always wanted the whole package with you."
Kate smiled this time happy tears filled her eyes. "It's right here in front of you for the taking Jack." Within seconds Jack had her wrapped tightly in his embrace as he just held her. Kate hugged him back just as hard. She closed her eyes and just enjoyed the feeling of their bodies pressed against one another. Jack leaned back slightly and brought his mouth to hers in a searing kiss. Kate moaned against him and the action allowed him to slip his tongue into her mouth. They kissed hungrily letting all their pent up feelings rush through them.
"I love you so much" she whimpered against his mouth and Jack kissed her harder.
"I love you too" he said as he dragged his lips down her neck. Kate couldn't get close enough to him as she pressed against him. She lifted one of her legs and wrapped it around his waist and pressed intimately against him. Jack groaned and reached down and pulled her other leg up lifting her off the ground. He held her up as she wrapped the other leg around him and kissed him hungrily. "I need you so bad" he whispered.
"Couch" she muttered knowing she would never make it upstairs to the bedroom. Jack carried her to the couch and laid her down and then stood up to admire her.
"I got you all wet" he said and Kate looked down to see her flimsy t-shirt was soaked through from his rain soaked body.
"Perhaps we just get all these wet clothes off then huh?" she asked with a seductive smile. Jack stripped his clothes off the whole time keeping his eyes connected with hers. It wasn't until he was completely naked in front of her that she allowed her eyes to roam across his body. She gasped as she saw how beautiful he was. She sat up and quickly pulled her t-shirt and panties off and opened her arms to him. He lay down atop her and they both let out sighs of pleasure and feeling their skin pressed against each other so intimately.
"God you feel so good" Jack whispered caressing her soft skin. She eased her legs around his waist and pressed her mouth against his. They kissed slowly and passionately just tasting one another. Kate pressed against him and words weren't needed and Jack entered her body slowly and carefully. Kate moaned and her head rolled back at the feeling of his hardened member penetrating her body. He was filling her completely and Kate could feel her sensitive muscles stretching to accommodate his large size. When he was embedded into her fully they both just stared into each others eyes their love shining through their expressions. Jack started to slowly move in and out of her and Kate let out small whimpers of pleasure as he loved her. She gripped his neck tight and hugged him close as he began to speed up his thrusts pushing in all the way and then pulling out so his tip was the only thing inside of her. He played with her like this refusing to enter her fully but slowly teasing her. She let out a frustrated moan and grabbed his butt and pulled as hard as she could and he thrust inside of her all the way. Jack smiled amused by her actions and Kate smirked at him.
"You belong inside me" she whispered and was answered by Jack speeding up his movements. As their love making started off slow and sensual it quickly turned fast and raw as they both neared their release. Jack was pounding into her and Kate was making moaning and whimpering sounds that would put any porn queen to shame. She gripped him and pushed against every one of his thrusts wanting to send him deeper. He gripped her thighs and moved his arms under them pulling her legs higher up her body. Jack began to hammer into her and all she could do was cry out in pleasure. Soon her release hit and Kate felt like tiny bombs were going off through her body. When she came down she saw Jack looking at her and still very much hard within her. She whimpered that he hadn't come yet. He smiled and with a few thrusts he came inside of her filling her with his release. They collapsed and Kate bit and nibbled at his shoulder. They kissed hungrily and Kate whimpered to feel him harden within her again. She moaned feeling her own body respond to his demands. She squeezed him inside of her and waited for his thrusts but was frustrated to feel him pull out of her completely. He gently pulled her up to a sitting position and with a little maneuvering Kate found herself on her hands and knees and he was positioned behind her.
"I need to take you hard baby, is that ok" he whispered in her ear and the shivers ran down her spine.
"God yes" she whispered, "Fuck me Jack"
Jack thrust inside of her and Kate let out a cry of pleasure and pressed back against him hard. Jack gripped her hips and began to move in and out of her quickly. Kate gripped the seat cushion underneath her as she literally felt Jack was fucking her brains out.
He was pushing inside of her so deep she was sure she was going to die of ecstasy. Their last time had been filled with moans and sighs of pleasure, now Kate was moaning and talking to Jack wanting to make him come with her words.
"Oh God Jack you're fucking me so hard" she cried out. She felt him speed up and was pleased. "Oh god so deep so deep baby, please keep fucking me. I want you to come in me so bad Jack please fill me with your seed." She begged and Jack hammered into her so hard the couch began to squeak.
"Come for me baby" he bit out and he slipped a hand around to gently flick her clit and she reared up in his arms but he leaned over and kept her hunched over by pressing his chest against her back. He flicked her again and she bucked sending him into her deeper. Seconds later she came hard and fast screaming his name and gasping for breath. He jerked inside of her and came hard and fast filling her up. When he had emptied himself within her he braced himself on the arm of the couch so as to not put all his weight on her. Kate was lying with her face buried in the cushions her knees pulled up against her chest as she made small noises of pleasure. She sat up and braced herself on her arms again and Jack gently eased out of her. She rolled onto her back and opened her arms to him again. He eased down to try to keep his weight off of her but she was having none of it. She wrapped his arms and legs around him pulling him atop her fully and enjoying his weight as it pressed her into the couch. They kissed slowly and deliciously.
"Wow" she whispered after a few minutes.
"Too rough?" he asked carefully.
"No way" Kate said kissing him and snuggling into his embrace. "Honestly I didn't think you were the kind of guy to take a girl from behind their first time." She teased him rubbing her hands down his back.
Jack smirked, "First off technically that was our second time and secondly Kate, I'm a doctor I had to take anatomy courses as a requirement, I know all the ways to take you." He said seductively and Kate shivered in anticipation.
"Well then I expect results" she whispered huskily.
"Tell me Kate" Jack said with an evil smile. "Were you ever a gymnast in school?"
Kate giggled and shook her head no.
"Oh well that's ok you look flexible enough," he said with a smirk and Kate laughed. They smiled at one another looking into one another's eyes. They leaned into each other and kissed each other their emotions playing through their lips. Jack moved Kate so she was on top of him and she laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes. Jack stroked her hair gently.
"I love you" he whispered and Kate smiled against him.
"I love you too" she said. "I promise you won't regret picking me" she whispered drifting off into sleep.
"I could never regret loving you." He said softly and watched her sleep.
Ok guys you know the drill please review