Beating Hearts

Chapter 15

The things most people want to know about are usually none of their business. – George Bernard Shaw

TK had a moment of weakness. Just one.

He was tired of sitting at home and wondering, of fretting and thinking about Matt and Kari, Kari and Matt. His imagination ran rampant as the days passed. He went to school in a stupor, ignoring everyone and only dreaming of the horrors that were taking place between Kari and his brother.

Kari.

And his brother.

He didn't know how else to explain his misery.

TK had acted like such a baby with Matt and Kari (but he personally thought he had the right) that he couldn't go back on his word and confess to them that he was ready to talk, he wanted to hear their reasons. He wanted to believe them, to accept them, to be a good brother and good friend. But it was impossible. It was too hard for him to talk to them now. He ran away when he spotted one of them in the hallways.

He hadn't talked to either in weeks.

By this time the rumor mill was in full motion, and people around the school were always watching Kari and Matt, and some even eyed TK to gauge his reaction. He remained calm, but mostly because he was so out of it he didn't know what was going on half of the time.

But that one moment of weakness came when he was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark. Well, as much dark as he could get in his room in the middle of the afternoon with his blinds snapped shut. His mother wouldn't be home for several hours, so he could mope in peace without struggling to act cheerful around her.

So TK was staring at the ceiling when the painful feeling struck him. He wanted to know. He finally wanted to know what was going through their heads that it physically hurt him. Was it really true love? Or what? It was driving him crazy.

Without thinking he leapt up and rummaged around for the other phone somewhere on his floor. He had been rolling it between his hands for the past few days, always tempted to call one of them but never getting the guts. But now was the time, and before he could stop his fingers they were dialling Kari's number, and he waited with bated breath. Oh Lord. What was he doing?

He was just about to hang up with fear when the message machine began spouting out something. He paused, listening to Kari's sweet voice saying the usual: "We're not available right now, so please leave a message and we'll call you back as soon as we can! Have a great day!"

TK smiled to himself. She sounded more cheerful in that message than he'd heard her in a long time, and—oh God. The beep! The beep!

"U—Uh, hey. Kari? Is she there? Um, if she is, it's TK. Uh. Okay. Bye." He hung up immediately, heart hammering and hands trembling.

What had that been?

"So this is how it goes," Kari informed Matt as they ascended the staircase to her apartment for the exercise. "I've figured it out for Tai's benefit. I'll go over to your house for Matt and Kari time, but when you come over to our apartment it's Matt and Tai time. That way my parents and Tai won't bother us, and then you and Tai can still hang out!" Kari grinned. It was perfect. She'd sat up last night and instead of doing homework, had been struck by the brilliant plan. "Great, right?" she asked mock modestly.

"Absolutely beautiful," Matt told her, swinging an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close for a quick hug as they stepped onto her landing. "I don't know how you do it, Kari."

She grinned up at him before turning back to her bag and rummaging around for her key. "It's a gift." She paused in front of the door, turning to face him with the key pointed in his face. "Today's an exception though."

Matt quirked an eyebrow. He had just been wondering the same thing. "Oh really? How so?"

Kari struggled to hide her blush, but knew it was there anyway. She shrugged, turning to unlock the door. "My parents and Tai aren't home."

It all clicked in Matt's brain in an instant. "Ah, of course," he agreed with a light chuckle. Kari grinned and tried not to look mortified at her own words. She never thought she'd say something like that! But suddenly Matt's hands were on her waist, lightly tickling her from behind as they walked in. She swatted them away and turned around as Matt closed the door behind them. Before she could object he'd swung her around and had her back to the door as he kissed her slowly on the lips. Oh wow. Not even one second into the apartment. It must have been a record. Then again, all week they'd only seen each other at school and it wasn't like they could do much there, especially with Anne glaring at her every chance they had.

"Mmm," Kari murmured into his mouth, arching up closer to him. Matt obliged, but lightly pulled away at the same time, teasing her. Kari's hands gripped his sleeves tightly.

"Not right now," she ordered him sternly against his lips. Matt smirked, his lips still touching Kari's lightly.

"Oh, bossy now, aren't you?" he whispered.

"Yes," Kari told him forcefully, leaning up for a kiss. "Yes, I am," she repeated, and did what she knew would make him kiss her. She lifted a hand and ran it slowly through his silky hair, enjoying every second as it fell through her fingers. He was staring into her eyes, and Kari saw the intense blueness of them until he sighed and crushed his lips against hers once again.

They didn't really talk much these days. It was mostly pent up sexual tension exploding into make-out sessions between the two of them. 'Stolen moments' Kari secretly liked to call them, because they were few and far between and always really intense and absolutely positively awesome, in her opinion.

She was in a different world when the phone rang. Whatever, the machine would get it. Matt was doing something super nice to her ear, whatever it was, and his hands were in her hair now, and it felt great, and—

"U—Uh, hey. Kari? Is she there?"

Matt's mouth froze halfway down Kari's neck, his hands still wrapped firmly in her hair and vice versa. She was staring, unmoving, at the ceiling.

"Um, if she is, it's TK."

"Shit," Matt murmured into Kari's skin, and it sent a thrill down her spine before he—rather unwillingly, she noticed—pulled away.

"Uh. Okay. Bye." A click.

And then silence.

"Um. What was that?" Kari whispered to no one in particular. The enjoyable moment had been shattered, and she instantly felt guilty and dirty and horrible all at the same time. She pulled her hands out of Matt's hair, flattening her own afterwards, staring at the floor embarrassedly.

"Wow, talk about a mood-wrecker," Matt muttered, slumping against the door and slowly sliding down to a sitting position. His arms were balanced on his kneecaps as he stared vacantly at the apartment entryway.

Kari slowly sat beside him, but she was cross-legged with her hands folded tightly in her lap; so tightly the knuckles were white.

"He wants to hear what we have to say," she whispered, both relieved and terrified. She'd gotten used to the rhythm of silence between them. Not that she liked it—she hated it. But she had begun to deal with it. And now… this.

"He wants to hear what you have to say," Matt corrected her. She heard the edge of bitterness in his tone.

"Should we… call him back?" Kari asked softly.

"I guess," Matt answered after a few moments of silence.

"Oh man." Kari nibbled her bottom lip nervously. "I don't know what to say! What does he want to hear? What—"

Suddenly the phone began ringing again. Kari stopped talking, and cast a quick glance at Matt. He looked over at her, looking just as worried. "Leave it for now," he advised. Kari tensed, waiting to hear the voice.

"Kari? Tai?" It was Mimi. "Oh my GOOOOD Kari why didn't you tell me?! I had to learn from Tai?! Ew! Or why didn't Matt say anything? I thought we were friends! And—oh—family phone. Right! Okay, call me back!"

Kari stared at it. "Oh no. Mimi knows?" she asked weakly. Tai! That stupid, ugly Tai! "I thought you were so sure he wouldn't tell anyone!" Kari unintentionally snapped at him.

"Well, I was!" Matt cried, taken aback by Kari's hostility. "But obviously he thought Mimi should know… for some reason…"

"Agh, I can't TAKE any of this," Kari muttered, running her hands over her face as she spoke, muffling her voice. "TK's enough to handle as it is. Stupid Tai and his intuition." She glared at the floor. "When he gets home I'm going to yell at him so much his ears bleed!"

Matt was so appalled at her violent reaction he let out a subconscious snort of laughter. Kari's glare rounded to him, and Matt couldn't help but giggle again, clapping a mouth to his hand.

"Sorry, sorry, but—your face! It's priceless! Kari, you look so angry. I mean," he stopped talking as her eyes narrowed.

"So I'm not allowed to get annoyed?" she snapped huffily. Matt quirked an eyebrow and decided it was nice to be the calm, rational one for once. Besides, this side of Kari was cute, in its own way. Yea, it was weird, but Matt could take it.

"Oh, Kari, you know that's not what I mean," Matt murmured, wrapping an arm around her shoulders easily and sliding in beside her. He was still amazed at how easily she slid against him, as if she were made to fit under his arm like this. "Let's just not try to get too stressed out about it. Mimi is a good friend, she'll take care. Besides, with gossip like this she's going to want to be the only one to know. She likes knowing everything." He rustled her hair lightly. "Y'know?" he whispered.

Kari's head nodded slowly. "I know… but it's a lot to handle. I mean, I can't even handle TK."

"TK is a delicate case. We both know that this isn't going to be easy. We knew it when we decided to do this."

Kari let out a quiet sigh. Matt didn't know if it was meant to escape his notice or not. "I know," she whispered, and finally rested her head lightly on his shoulder. "I know." After all, at school Sora and Izzy were poking their noses in now, asking Kari how she was, or how Matt was, and she'd have to ask them what they meant and there'd be uncomfortable silences and then, "Oh nothing, nevermind." Maybe it was better if Mimi knew so she could tell everyone. At least it would be over and done with.

"You should have told him not to tell Mimi," Kari told him, thinking of the night before when she had decided to call Matt later. No, she should have called him and told him to keep quiet, to tell Tai the things she couldn't tell him because it would be too weird as his little sister.

"Excuse me?" Matt asked, amused. "I haven't exactly spoken to Tai yet."

"But you should have. I should have told you to last night."

"Last night?"

"I was going to call you and tell you I told him, and that you should talk to him about keeping quiet, but—"

"Kari, calm down."

"No! Now what if Mimi, or she goes and tells TK and TK freaks out—"

"But he already knows—"

"But he would be so angry to know that Mimi knew! Agh, TAI! I'm going to KILL him!" Kari stood up suddenly, sliding on her shoes. "I'm gonna go talk to TK," she decided.

"What?" Matt asked, bewildered, a bit worried. "Kari, what are you talking about?"

"He want to talk to me, I have to do this before Mimi talks to him or before anyone else can tell him. He'd be—"

"No one else knows, Kari."

"It's only a matter of time! Mimi knows for God's sake! Can you actually believe she'll keep her mouth shut?" Kari snapped, shoving her thin jacket on hastily.

"Whoa Kari, no need to get so vicious."

"I'm not, I just—will you stay here?"

Matt blinked up at her, still sitting against the door. "Huh?"

"And wait for Tai. To talk to him."

"I…"

"Matt." Kari suddenly bent down on her knees and took one of Matt's large hands in her own. She admired it for a split second, know how it could play a bass guitar so well, and how it could also stroke her hair so nicely, and—

"Please, Matt. You have to talk to him sometime." She was pleading, begging, and it was ridiculous but she wanted things to be dealt with now so she could finally be happy without feeling guilty.

She saw his resolve slipping away. "Kari…" he complained.

"If I can face TK, you can face Tai. At least he's still your friend." Kari's hands squeezed Matt's. "It'd be nice."

"I know, but it's—it's weird."

Kari impulsively leaned forward and kissed him softly on the mouth; she still felt tingles go down her spine at the touch. She backed off only an inch from his face. "But worth it, right?"

He sighed quietly, watching her carefully. "Yes, completely worth it," he conceded, using his free hand to brush a stray hair from Kari's face.

She smiled at him and stood back up. "Wish me luck!"

"All of it," he told her with a smirk, and she smiled nervously at him, tugged on her jacket, and shuffled out of the doorway, closing it softly and leaving Matt sitting, alone, in Kari's apartment.

"I'm hooome!" called out Tai, dumping his soccer bag on the ground. Practice had been rough today, and he just wanted to collapse on his bed and sleep. The coach had yelled at him and threatened him with a switch to defence—unbelievable!—and gloom was hanging heavily over his head. Food would be good. TV, too. He couldn't get the glares of his teammates out of his head.

He stepped into his bedroom, eyes half closed, ready to fall into bed.

"Hey Tai."

Tai jumped, eyes flying open immediately. There was already someone lying on his bed. He felt his stomach curl uncomfortably when he saw his best friend stretched out, hands laced behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. His blue eyes were very clear, and Tai could see determination in them that reminded him of Matt at age eleven.

"Uh, hey," Tai greeted, suddenly feeling awkward in his own bedroom. Matt seemed to command whatever room he was in, and Tai felt himself shrinking. Why was Matt even here? He hadn't talked to him in, well, ages. And he knew that Kari must have told him, and Matt must know that Tai knew, and it was just strange to imagine his best friend kissing his own sister, and what about TK? And oh God—

"How're you?" Matt asked pleasantly, still not moving, as if he knew that when he looked at Tai he might beat him up or something. That irritated Tai. He had the right to be angry, not Matt.

"Horrible, actually," he told him stiffly. "Bad practice."

Matt nodded as if he understood. Like he even had the slightest clue, Tai thought darkly. He stood still, half through his bedroom door. Matt let out a soft sigh, preparing, and Tai winced when Matt moved; but all he did was sit up in bed.

"It's been awhile," he finally said, looking at his hands that were in his lap. Tai stared straight at Matt, daring his friend to look at him.

"Yea, it has," he agreed, rather darkly. "Where've you been?"

Matt shrugged. "Busy."

"Mhm." Tai scratched his nose absently, still watching Matt fiddle with his hands. Wait… was Matt nervous? The feeling made him smile a little.

"Are you scared of me?" he asked suddenly, taunting. Matt's eyes flew up, snapped together with Tai's gaze. He was irritated.

"No, I most definitely am not," he told him through tight lips.

"Well you're acting like it."

"I'm not."

"Okay."

"Fine."

The two stared at each for several seconds, before Matt's expression seemed to change. "No, wait, this isn't what I was supposed…" His sentenced drifted off. Then, softly, "you told Mimi?"

Tai didn't like the look in Matt's eyes. His friend could rarely hide himself around Tai anymore, and he could see the hurt that creased his brow, made him frown like that. Tai shuffled uncomfortably. "I had to tell someone," Tai tried to explain. "It was driving me crazy."

"Why not someone more reliable? Sora, perhaps?" Matt asked exasperatedly. "Or better yet, myself?"

"Yes, well, you're biased. I can't exactly pour my heart out to you on the situation," Tai sulked. Matt watched him carefully.

"So you hate it," was his flat reply. Tai didn't like his tone.

"I don't hate it," he replied defensively. "It's just… weird."

A wry smirk curved Matt's lips. "I know what you mean."

"I mean, how can I ever complain about my sister to you anymore? How do I know that when you come over you won't ditch me for Kari?" His voice was quieter now. It was an embarrassing thing to admit, but…

"She came up with a plan," Matt told him suddenly. "She'll come over to my place when we want to hang out, but when I come over here it's strictly for us to hang out."

Tai straightened a little. "Really?"

"Really."

"But…"

"I'd talk to her and stuff, Tai. I'm not going to act like she doesn't exist. But we'd hang out." Matt shook his head a fraction. "You didn't actually think that I'd forget about you or something, did you?"

"Well, not exactly," scoffed Tai airily. "Not really."

Matt only nodded. "Right. So. I just wanted to make sure. We're cool?"

Tai hesitated before nodding. "I think so."

Matt shifted slightly. "Good." He fell silent, but Tai knew he wasn't done.

"What?" he asked warily.

"What exactly did Mimi say?"

"Oh. She sort of freaked out. I don't know if it was happy or angry or if she just loved the story, or what." Tai shrugged. But she let me rant, and that's why I told her.

"Did she promise to keep quiet?"

"Uh…" Tai squinted, trying to remember. "I don't know if I… asked… her…" At Matt's expression he grimaced. His friend was irritated now.

"Tai."

"What?" he cried. "I didn't—"

"Kari is worried sick about it. She wanted me to tell you to not tell anyone. As in, shut up. Like, call Mimi and tell her not to say another word to anyone else."

"Why didn't she just ask me to do it?" Tai asked defensively. "We were bonding and all last night, after all."

"She was going to call me and ask me to tell you because she thinks it'd be weird to ask you. I dunno, a sister thing I guess. But she said you guys went somewhere." He shrugged. "Just… would you call her? Please?"

Tai was slightly alarmed. Matt was taking a lot of care of Kari. It was… slightly unnerving.

"Yea, sure, I'll call her." Tai stepped out of the room, feeling both relieved (having finally talked to Matt) and anxious (because of the Mimi mistake and Matt's acting so out of character).

He picked up the phone. Dialled her number. "Mimi?"

"Tai! Hi!" he heard her voice squeal and buzz. "Sorry, I'm at the mall, it's loud!" she yelled. Tai winced. "So what's up?" she yelled.

"Uh, you know that thing I told you earlier today?"

"About Matt and Kari?"

"Sssh, and yes!" Tai hissed, suddenly anxious. Had she actually kept her mouth shut? "You won't tell anyone about it, will you?" he asked. "Will you?" More nervously.

"Uh… okay…"

He didn't like her tone. "Mimi. Please don't tell me you—you didn't—" Tai's stomach dropped. "Mimi!" he cried suddenly, exasperated.

"I'm sorry! It was just so great, and what a surprise! I didn't expect it! I had to tell." He could hear the careless tone of her voice, but also the worry underneath. Mimi was always scared of screwing up.

"Who?" Tai asked anxiously. "Who did you tell?"

"Sora, that's it! I only told Sora."

"Oh God." Tai hung up the phone, staring at the wall. Oh God.

Kari stood in front of the door, holding the key nervously in her hand. She had run back and asked for it from Matt, since she knew that if she just buzzed up he'd probably change his mind and refuse to let her in.

So instead she had let herself in, and she was standing in front of apartment number 54, heart hammering in her chest. She knocked. Waited. Wishing to retract her knock. She wanted to run, but she remembered TK's phone call, his scared voice, the awkwardness, the discomfort, the courage it must have taken for him to call.

Kari missed him.

The door opened. She was breathless, scared, she felt as if she was going to vomit or cry or—

"Sora?" she asked, shocked to see her brother's friend standing in the doorway. Sora stared at Kari too, but then her eyes narrowed, just slightly.

"Hello, Kari. I don't think you should come in just now."

Kari stared at her. "But TK called me…" she began, half-heartedly.

"He doesn't really want to talk to you right now." Sora's voice was sharp. Kari was immediately confused. Why was Sora acting like this?

"Sora, what are you even doing here?" Kari asked.

Sora stared coolly at her. "You don't realize?" she asked. Kari stared blankly at her.

"Mimi told me everything." A pause. "Kari, I don't get it. TK is perfect. How could you do this?" Sora sounded genuinely confused, but the angry expression wasn't gone from her face.

"I—" Kari fell silent. "I just did." She was looking at the floor now. Mimi! Mimi!

"I think you should try again later, when his heart isn't broken and he's more willing to see you." Sora looked disgusted. Kari couldn't take it. Sora, the nice girl, the one that was so worried about her when she had been sick a few months ago, who had always been on her side and cheered for her, and now—

"Sora," Kari tried helplessly, but Sora only shrugged and shut the door softly in her face.

"What just happened?" Kari whispered, frantic. "What. Just. Happened?"

Sora knew. Sora hated her. Sora. Hated. Was that even possible? Well, Sora was a passionate person in everything she did, and if she thought Kari was in the wrong then she would definitely think Kari was in the wrong. Agh, Tai! He had wrecked everything! Or why couldn't Kari have just called Matt and told him to tell Tai to shut up? Why couldn't she have told him herself, for that matter?

"Oh no," she whispered. If Sora knew she might tell people, thinking everyone should know how—how underhanded she was being, or something.

Sweet Kari would become something different in everybody's eyes.