Ok so I know many of you have given up on me and this story so I thought I would do my best to write an Island Jate story that actually takes place after the skex. shudders in disgust As many of you are aware of you know I really don't like Kate all that much so I will do my best to not maim or kill her off in this story. Some things you need to know Juliet is in this story but don't panic she is going to be just friends with Jack, she is however going to intentionally make Kate miserable because come on if you were Jack's friend Kate would be on your shit list as well. She and Jack are going to be pretty good friends mostly cause the guy needs someone he can count on that isn't looking to screw him over. There will be some alcohol involved so expect to see a lighter (yes I said lighter not darker ) Jack and an insanely jealous Kate as she should be and of course Sawyer with his little sad face because come on he actually believes Kate loves him? Next time he might want to get it in writing and maybe even have her speak the words. rolls eyes at how stupid the writers have made Sawyer So here we go and oh yeah the hatch is still there cause I want it to be and there is only one island because just the thought that the writers want us to believe Kate and Sawyer are going to make it back on a submarine just makes me laugh at the stupidity of it all. :)
WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM
Things had improved on the island since Jack returned to the camp six months after Kate and Sawyer made their escape. He returned but with him he brought many changes. Since his incarceration there was a power struggle amongst the Others. Ben passed away and suddenly people started to step forward with their true feelings. They weren't happy living the way they were with all the mind games and paranoia. Juliet had gotten Jack released and together they worked out a solution to make everyone happy. People were given the choice they could stay there and keep living their lives the way they have with no disturbance from the rest of the world or they could go back to the other side of the island to re-unite with the other castaways and maybe one day be rescued. Most of the tailies went with besides a few and even a couple of the Others came with looking to start whole new lives perhaps off the island.
Jack also came back with news for Claire that they were indeed related and the young mother, who shocked at first, quickly got over the surprise and embraced her brother into her life warmly. Jack was also changed as well. He was much more relaxed and at times even looked happy. He had gladly jumped back into the doctor role but after everything with the Others he made no move to become the leader. Part of his relaxation and good humor came from the friendships he had made with the people from the other side of the island. One person being Juliet. They got along fairly well and there was no romantic spark between them so their friendship grew and they enjoyed teasing and making fun on of each other at every chance. Because of Jack's trust and affection for the woman she had transitioned into the group much easier than she thought possible. Soon she had her own friends and could be seen, goofing around with Jack, helping Claire with Aaron or learning about herbal medication from Sun.
Everyone just seemed happier when Jack returned. All except two people, Kate and Sawyer. Now they were happy that Jack was alive and well and back amongst them they were just unhappy with how things were going. Kate had noticed right away that Jack kept her at a distance. She couldn't blame him but it still hurt. He would talk to her every once in awhile and always polite but the closeness they shared was gone. She never stopped trying to get close to him but it was hard, suddenly she wasn't his best friend and confidant no that was Juliet. Hell, Kate wasn't even in his top five for friends anymore, he would still pal around with Hurley and Charlie and he seemed to have made new friends from the Other's camp. At night everyone would sit around from both camps laughing and living it up but Kate always felt like an outsider. Without Jack in her life who was she?
Sawyer resented Jack's return because he knew with Jack back Kate wouldn't stick around much longer. In all the time together Sawyer knew Kate was never invested in their relationship. She had told him she wanted to take things slow that sleeping together in the cage had been way too fast and way too soon. So he had respected her wishes but their relationship seemed to fizzle to nothing above platonic. Before Jack, he would catch Kate just staring off into the distance and when he would question her about her feelings she would just shrug him off. Since Jack got back he's noticed Kate barely takes her eyes off of him. She watches his every move and is always by his side trying to get his attention. Sawyer couldn't help but take some pleasure in the fact that the harder Kate threw herself at Jack, the more he ignored her. Also since Jack's return, Kate had pretty much separated from Sawyer completely; they might as well be strangers.
Jack really didn't know what was going on with Kate and Sawyer and truthfully didn't want to know. He found it safer to just stay away from the both of them. His heart had begun to heal and he was in a good place. He still cared for Kate but he didn't feel like he was dying inside every time he saw her. Visions of her and Sawyer in the cage didn't haunt his dreams any more and for that he was grateful. He wasn't a masochist though and still kept Kate at an arm's length, he was just too scared to let her in as close as she was. He didn't want to get hurt as badly as he had been. So he kept it friendly with the both of them when their paths crossed and that was about it. He thought that was fair enough, it wasn't like he owed either of them anything. A lot of his healing and perspective had come from his friendship with Juliet. Once everything had been settled with the Others the distrust and mind games had come to an end and Jack had allowed Juliet in and she had become a good friend. They could talk forever and often joked what a waste it was that they had each found someone so perfect but had no romantic feelings for whatsoever. In fact Juliet had massive feelings for one of the tailies named Gregory and with a little pushing from Jack had the courage to speak to the man. They had just started a relationship and were in the beginning stages of first dates and hand holding so of course Jack teased her at every opportunity.
This sunny afternoon found him sitting with Claire, Juliet, Greg, Charlie and even Kate who had been with Claire when everyone else arrived. It was the first time Jack and Kate had actually sat in a group together. Greg had gotten up to go help Hurley with a project and Juliet took the opportunity to mess with Kate. She knew Kate still had feelings for Jack but Juliet had felt it was her responsibility to be protective of him. She still remembered how crushed he had been that day that Ben had set him up. She wished she would have know because she would have done anything to keep him from seeing those images. So being Jack's best friend gave her the right to be snarky with Kate and to play the occasional mind game with her. Greg knew she and Jack flirted with no feelings so most of the time he just shook his head and usually wished Jack luck. She knew he wouldn't mind her flirting now either.
She glanced over to see Kate watching Jack intently as he held and played with Aaron.
"You're so good with kids" she said nudging him playfully. "When are we going to see some little Shephard's running around?" she contained her laughter as Jack gave her a look of pure terror in a typical male fashion.
"Uh" his voice cracking slightly, "Never" he said suddenly looking at Aaron nervously.
"Oh Jack stop looking at your nephew like he's an alien, you were doing just fine with him and its not like I'm making you keep him" Claire said rolling her eyes at her brothers sudden panic at the imaginary impending fatherhood. Jack shot her a look as everyone chuckled.
"Come on Jack you would be a wonderful father, if Greg doesn't want kids, will you make some with me?" she joked keeping the corner of her eye on Kate who looked seriously miffed by the discussion. That just made Juliet want to keep playing. She looked back at Jack to see him looking at her with an evil smirk.
"Like I'd ever breed with you" he said shaking his head and she smacked him upside the head.
"You should be so lucky" she said giggling.
"Well then I guess it's a good thing luck has never been on my side" he said dodging the blow he was sure to come to the back of his head. When it didn't he relaxed slightly but kept a suspicious eye on her anyway.
"That's ok, I don't want your kids anyway, but I do know someone who does." She said in a teasing voice. Unconsciously everyone except Jack and Juliet's eyes made their way to Kate who was staring at the sand uncomfortable.
"I know I'm going to shoot myself for asking but who?" Jack asked.
"Cindy of course" Juliet said with a wicked grin. "You two would be so perfect for each other" she said in an exaggerated voice and chuckled as Jack visibly paled in front of them.
"Cindy the flight attendant?" Charlie asked looking up from his guitar. "You got the hots for her?" he asked curiously. Juliet burst out laughing and Jack sighed miserably. He looked up and for a second he and Kate made eye contact. Just as soon as it was made it was gone though. And he groaned miserably.
"No I do not have the hots for Cindy" everyone including Kate watched him befuddled as he looked over his shoulder warily.
"Aww what's wrong Jack?" Juliet said looking over her shoulder as well. "You seem a little paranoid."
"You know why I'm paranoid" Jack said giving her a dark look. "Everywhere I go, I turn around and there she is, she's like the creepy twins from The Shining and I'm man enough to admit she scares the hell out of me" Jack said and everyone burst out laughing. He looked at them amazed. "You think I'm joking, I woke up to find her in my tent watching me sleep the other day, do you have any clue how disturbing that is?"
"Having a woman in your tent?" Charlie asked teasingly and Jack gave him a roll of the eyes.
"Hardly" Juliet snorted. "Don't give me that look Jack Shephard, I've read your file back home you were a man whore" she said with a chuckle.
"I was not a man whore, I was just very friendly and affectionate with the female population" Jack said giving her a charming smile.
"Jeez you think you know a guy and the ugly truth comes out" Charlie said shaking his head sadly.
"You know what maybe you better give me Aaron back, I don't want him learning too much from his Uncle Jack" Claire said cheekily.
"No way" Jack said holding the small child closer to him. "He's my Minnie Me" and everyone laughed.
"So Kate, how's Sawyer doing?" Juliet asked sweetly. It was time to mess with Kate some more. Jack sighed he knew what Juliet was doing, sometimes she was too overprotective for her own good.
"I wouldn't really know" Kate said looking Juliet in the eye; she knew Juliet was trying to embarrass her and she wasn't going to just sit there and take it.
"Oh" Juliet said, "I thought you two were the island's hottest couple well until Jack and Cindy try to steal the title that is" she said throwing Jack a teasing grin and he couldn't help but smirk back at her.
"My relationship with Sawyer or anyone else isn't really anyone else's business" Kate said and Charlie and Claire looked uncomfortable as Jack pretended to find playing with Aaron fascinating.
"Is that so? Maybe you shouldn't screw on camera for the whole world to see then" Juliet said throwing her an icy glare. "I think we managed to keep Ben from downloading it on the internet but who knows, right now you could be the web's most downloaded video. Doesn't that make you feel special?"
"Ok" Jack said loudly praying he could get Juliet to back off and to maybe even get out of here with any semblance of his ego. "Claire it's been fun, thanks for letting me spend time with Aaron." He said handing the toddler back to his mother.
"Of course Jack anytime" she said sweetly and gave him a small peck on the cheek.
"Leaving so soon?" Charlie asked, he was actually enjoying the drama unfolding before him and was secretly hoping Juliet and Kate might come to blows right here, that would be pretty sweet.
"Yeah Juliet and I have somewhere to be" Jack said getting to his feet and brushing the sand off of him.
"We do?" Juliet asked, this was news to her.
"Yes we do" Jack said smiling at her but she could see the urgency in his eyes.
"You're right we have to go to the place to do the thing" she said standing up. "It was nice talking to you all, see you at dinner" she said with a wave and she and Jack quickly walked down the beach. She didn't say anything but she could see how tense he was. She knew she shouldn't have gone that far with Kate, but sometimes Juliet spoke without thinking. When they reached a clearing and were alone Juliet turned to him quickly.
"Jack I'm sorry I know I was out of line and I shouldn't have done it but sometimes she drives me nuts the way she just sits there like she's all innocent and you're the bad guy for not wanting to spend all your time with her." She rambled. Jack stopped and looked over at her and he gave her a small smile.
"Look I know your heart is in the right place but when you say those things your not just embarrassing Kate but you're reminding me of a time I really don't want to think about. I mean I'm better, I'm a lot better than I was, you know that but it doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt." He said softly.
Juliet moved close to him and hugged him tight.
"I'm sorry sweetie, you know I never want to hurt you." Juliet said remorsefully and Jack returned the hug gratefully and then pulled back. "I promise I won't harp on Kate anymore" she said and looked up to see him eying her skeptically. She rolled her eyes. "Ok fine, I'll try to keep the harping down to a minimum, but when you're not around I can't make any promises." She said with a little smirk and Jack smiled back at her.
"I appreciate the fact that you feel the need to protect me, I do. And I'm sorry if I don't show it, I'm just not used to being taken care of" he said almost shyly.
"Well get used to it Jack, all these people are willing to look out for you, you just have to let them." Juliet said. She let out a big sigh and kicked at the sand. "Look Jack I know it hasn't been easy for you, having to be near her like this, but if you decide you want her and you want to fight for her, I might not agree but I will support you. And if you decide you'd like nothing more than to exile her and send her off to be eaten by polar bears, I'll support that too." She said looking completely serious but the slight twinkle in her eye gave her away.
Jack chuckled but didn't answer her and she didn't expect an answer. Jack had been doing a lot better from that time right after seeing Kate and Sawyer in the cage, but she still caught him staring at the brunette longingly on occasion and sometimes if Kate was with Sawyer a quick flash of hurt would pass through Jack's eyes. He never mentioned it and Juliet never brought it up.
Jack smiled, "Thanks Jules" he said seriously. She watched as suddenly he took on a wicked gleam in his eye and she sighed wondering what he was going to do to her. "I happen to know a certain lover boy is waiting for you at the golf course" he said teasing her and she blushed happily. "That's why he took off with Hurley and it was my job to keep you occupied."
"Well then it looks like I have a date. I'll see you around Jack and try to stay out of trouble" she called out to him as she headed the opposite direction.
Jack watched her go glad that his friend had found some genuine happiness; she deserved some after all her time under Ben's thumb. He sighed and looked around sadly wondering if he would ever get the chance to have some happiness. He stared off into the jungle, no as long as Kate was with Sawyer; Jack didn't see much love for him anytime soon. He wished he could find another woman, someone to take away the hurt and loneliness but his traitorous heart always went back to Kate.
He decided to head for the hatch when he noticed a crate right off the path, it had the flashing light and he figured it was from a Dharma drop but who knew when it landed, today, yesterday, two days ago? He grabbed a pointed branch and used it to open the crate and when he looked inside he couldn't help smirk. Since he had been to this island he had worked so hard to help everyone else. Maybe this time he'd allow himself a little break.
Later that evening
Juliet and Greg were walking back from their romantic dinner at the golf course when Charlie cam running up to them.
"Hey Juliet I know you might be busy but I thought you would like to know Jack is down at the hatch and he's pretty drunk." Charlie said biting down the smile. He and Hurley had found Jack singing away in the hatch, he seemed to be a rather pleasant drunk.
"What?" Juliet asked slightly perplexed. "Jack is drinking the liquor from the infirmary?"
"No, it seems Dharma made a scheduled drop and inside was a crate of booze which Jack managed to get into." Charlie said. "He's ok I mean he's a rather happy drunk but I just thought you might want to know."
"Thanks Charlie, I'll go try to find out what's going on with him." She turned to Greg but before she could say anything he leaned in and kissed her tenderly.
"Go take care of Jack, something tells me he might need a friend." He said with a smile. Most men might be threatened by Jack and Juliet's friendship but he wasn't he trusted both of them.
"Thanks" she said blushing from the kiss, god she had found herself a keeper with this man. "You know I specifically told him to stay out of trouble and this is what I get" she said with a smirk as she headed off into the jungle towards the hatch. When she entered she found Niki, Paulo, and Hurley sitting in the main living area. She glanced at the computer room and saw Locke who gave her an amused smile and small wave. She then heard what was so amusing to Locke.
"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's amore" she heard the off tuned singing and came around to see Jack lying on the ground. She glanced at the other people in question.
"Don't look at us he was like this when we found him" Paulo said defensively. Niki rolled her eyes and glanced at Juliet.
"He's pretty drunk from what I can tell, I found a big empty bottle of tequila, plus the one he's drinking from now." The girl said looking at Jack sadly. "That poor boy is nursing a broken heart."
Juliet smiled softly, "Yeah he is, thanks for looking out for him though I think I can probably take it from here." Niki and Paulo left and Hurley helped Juliet get the drunken doctor to sit on the couch. The whole time they were maneuvering him Jack kept singing and when he was settling back it was if he had noticed Juliet for the first time.
"Jules!" he exclaimed happily, "Hurley, did you know Jules was here? Wait when did you get here?" he asked slurring slightly. Juliet was actually surprised he was doing as well as he was for the amount of alcohol it seemed was in his system.
"I just got here Jack" she said with a soft smile, even drunk out of his mind he was adorable.
"Oh crap" she heard Hurley mutter under his breath and Juliet looked up confused. Then she saw what the problem was, Kate and Sawyer had just entered the hatch and were talking.
"Really Sawyer I can handle hatch duty on my own I don't need you here." She said tiredly she had tried breaking up with him three separate times today and he just wasn't getting the hint. Didn't he realize this farce of a relationship was over the minute it started?
"Jesus Freckles you don't have to be so cruel about it, I just thought you'd like to spend some time together." Sawyer said with a scowl.
Kate felt her patience snap and as she was about to go off on him it was then she noticed, Hurley, Jack and Juliet. Great she thought to herself a night with Juliet how wonderful. She then noticed the way Jack was leaning to the side and his eyes were slightly closed.
"Jack are you sick?" she asked concerned pushing past Sawyer to make her way to the couch. Jack's eyes opened suddenly and he giggled.
"Did you just say I was sick?" he asked Juliet playfully. "I'm not that sick, sure I have issues" with that he started laughing more.
Sawyer made his way over pissed off by the way Kate dismissed him so quickly to see Jack. "Shit Freckles he ain't sick, looks like the hero has gone and got himself wasted. Not too heroic now is he?" he said with a smirk.
Juliet rolled her eyes and muttered something about a hillbilly under her breath which Jack heard and sent him into another fit of giggles. "Shut up Sawyer" the blonde woman said icily. "You're the last person on this island allowed to criticize anybody about anything."
Sawyer scowled and he looked to Kate wondering if she would defend him but found he wasn't surprised to see Kate ignoring them all her gaze fixed on Jack.
Jack stopped his laughter and looked at Juliet sadly. "I'm hungry" he said and looked at her with a puppy dog look.
Juliet smirked at his little tactics; it seemed Jack really didn't mind her cooking because he was always trying to get her to cook for him. After the last sandwich she made for him she had told him he was on his own.
"Well I guess you better go make something" she teased and watched as he looked even more pathetic and more adorable. "You're a brat" she said with a roll of her eyes and went to the kitchen to make him a sandwich.
"She so loves me" he pronounced proudly to Hurley who just grinned enjoying watching his friend loosen up and act goofy. "She wants me but I couldn't be with her" he whispered loudly. "She's with Greg and I wouldn't ever do that to him, no matter how much she begs."
They all heard a clang from the kitchen. "I can hear you Jack" Juliet's voice carried into the room. "Keep it up and the only thing you're going to be eating is whatever I pull out of the trash"
Jack cringed knowing she would do it if provoked. "How the hell did she hear that?" he asked. In his mind he was being quiet and stealth like but of course in reality he was being loud and drunk. He felt the couch shift and he turned to see Kate sitting next to him. She was looking at him with a concerned look in her eye.
"Jack are you ok?" she asked softly.
"I'm just peachy Jules is making me food, she's a good cook" Jack said leaning his head back against the couch and smiling softly.
"I meant you've been drinking is something wrong?" Kate asked she was finding it hard to resist how cute he looked absolutely tanked.
"Can I tell you a secret?" he leaned in close to her and she nodded with a small smile leaning in close to him. Meanwhile Sawyer was watching the whole thing and having enough of it he stormed out of the hatch with Locke. If Kate wanted the Doc she can have him.
"I was thirsty" he said his expression completely serious, after a few seconds though he started to laugh as he leaned back against the couch again. Kate looked at him perplexed and she and Hurley exchanged amused glances. She looked back at him and found him staring at her.
"What?" she asked feeling slightly self conscious.
"I think you're sitting in Jules seat, she'll be back in a few minutes." He said closing his eyes and resting. Kate tried to ignore the feel of pain that quickly burst in her heart. Technically Juliet was in Kate's seat. Kate should be the one talking with Jack, flirting and spending time, she should be the one he made puppy dog eyes at for food. She was supposed to be his best friend not Juliet.
"Well maybe she won't mind if I just stay here until she gets back" Kate said with a soft smile and she reached out to gently caress his cheek. She felt the familiar sting of hurt when he quickly moved away from her as if burned. He was looking everywhere but her. In fact he was looking towards the kitchen, towards Juliet. He stood up and due to his condition he was a little wobbly on his feet.
"I'm going to see what's taking so long" he said.
"No you're not because I'm right here" Juliet said entering the room. She immediately noticed Kate had moved to sit next to Jack and he was looking at Juliet with relieved eyes. She bit her tongue as she moved past Kate holding Jack's sandwich.
"Sit down" she said to him feeling like she was talking to a small child. He sat down and grinned at her and Juliet rolled her eyes, never mind she was talking to a small child. She handed him his sandwich which he started to jam down his throat barely chewing.
"Jack" she exclaimed pulling his hand down from his mouth, "Chew or you're going to choke" she said trying not to laugh at the fact that she is scolding a grown adult.
"No more alcohol for you" Hurley said laughing, "Soon you'll be crossing the road without looking both ways or running with scissors."
"You can't have my alcohol" Jack said taking a long swig of the tequila he somehow managed to get his hands back on. Before Juliet could react Kate had managed to get the bottle away from him.
"Hey" he whined looking at Kate.
"No" Kate said waving her finger at him. Jack let out a big sigh and pouted. Every once in awhile he would look over to Kate and give her his puppy dog look and she would just shake her head at him though inside she was dying to give in and hand over the bottle and anything else he might want when he looked like that. Juliet couldn't help but chuckle at the two and even gave Kate credit for getting the bottle away from him. Both her and Kate giggled as Jack seemed to give up on the tequila and went back to eating his sandwich, taking proper bites this time. They both realized they were sharing a friendly moment and quickly quieted down and avoided each other's eye contact. Hurley watched all of this highly amused. He liked Juliet and knew she had it out for Kate, he also liked Kate and knew she had it out for Juliet and poor drunk Jack just had no clue.
Suddenly Jack looked up and then over to Kate. "Where did Sawyer go?" he looked around and then to Hurley's utter delight he watched as Jack looked under the coffee table as if expecting to see the southerner hiding there.
Kate looked at him serious, "He's gone Jack" she knew she was trying to convey those words meant more that just Sawyer being out of the hatch. She figured in his state he wouldn't quite pick up on that though both Juliet and Hurley did.
"Damn" Jack muttered. "I could really go for a cigarette"
"Jack Christian Shephard!!!" both Kate and Juliet shouted and he found himself being stared down by two very angry females.
"You quit smoking five years ago" Juliet admonished him, "You're not going to start up again now"
"You used to smoke?" Kate asked. She hated smoking and thought it was a disgusting habit, she had tried to get Sawyer to quit but he always brushed her off, she'd be damned if she let Jack pick it up again. "Well you're not starting now so wipe that thought out of your mind. You're a doctor and should know better, those things can kill you" she scolded.
"And why the fuck would you care?" Jack yelled losing his temper. He could handle Juliet getting on his case but not Kate. He knew Juliet cared about him but Kate he didn't know what the hell she wanted from him.
Juliet watched as Jack lost his temper with Kate and she was about to intervene when she stopped herself. Maybe this is what Jack needed, he had taken his feelings and buried them so deep he never game them a chance to heal. Maybe here and now he would have the courage to confront the things he had avoided for so long that he wouldn't allow himself to do sober. In vino veritas- in wine is truth. Maybe Jack needed to say it and maybe Kate had to hear it. So Juliet did one of the hardest things she ever did. She allowed Jack to put himself on the line and risk being hurt once again and she wouldn't try to protect him.
"Come on Hurley, why don't you walk me back to the beach" Juliet said softly. Hurley nodded knowing it was time to go. Kate shot Juliet a grateful look but Juliet shook her head slightly, she wasn't doing this for Kate but for Jack. They quickly left the hatch and Juliet hoped when she saw Jack next he would be better off.
Kate watched as the two left and she sighed with relief, for the first time since that fateful day in the Hydra they were alone together. She looked back at Jack who was staring at the ground; she was shocked when he quickly went for the alcohol bottle clenched in her hand. She quickly moved away though and kept it from him.
"Dammit Kate give me the bottle" Jack swore his voice quieter from his outburst.
"No" Kate said moving slowly away from him, not in fear but just to keep the bottle from him.
"Why are you doing this?" he asked voice annoyed and confused.
"Because I care about you and I won't sit here and watch you drink and smoke yourself to death" she proclaimed.
"Bullshit" Jack said so quietly Kate almost didn't hear him, somehow that one word was enough to set her off. She threw the bottle across the room and it hit the wall with a crash sending the bottle in shattered pieces to the floor while the tequila dripped off the wall.
He looked back at the wall and then back at her, she was breathing heavily and glaring at him and that made him indignant, how dare she be mad at him, he hasn't done a damn thing to her.
"You know they were all right" he said his voice getting harsher, "You are insane" he said shaking his head.
Kate flinched but just barely. "Well maybe people like you, make people like me the way I am." She said bitterly.
Jack shook his head, "No, no I'm not letting you blame me for this, you were insane long before I ever came along. Nope I'm not taking the fall for this, not the same way I seem to always take the fall for your problems. You use me for the gun case key, get caught and somehow I'm the bad guy. I ask you to not go on the hike, you go, get captured and we lose guns, but yet again I'm the bad guy. Well guess what Kate, you screwed Sawyer and I don't want anything to do with you, and I'm not the fucking bad guy so deal with your own issues sweetheart." He angrily spat out.
Kate sat back for a second stunned by his outburst. She opened her mouth to speak but found no words would come out. She thought about what he said when it dawned on her that he was absolutely right. Anytime she fucked up she always tried to put the blame on him. For the first time in her life it finally hit Kate how selfish she truly was. People had accused her of it before but she always took the insults and held them close as she pitied herself. She never allowed herself the opportunity to take a step back and really look at who she was. She sat on the couch feeling stunned.
"You're right" she said quietly. She looked up at him and saw him staring at the broken glass.
"Yeah I am" he said. "That doesn't mean I have the right to shout or yell at you, I'm sorry"
"Don't be Jack, out of everyone you have the right to hate and despise me." Kate said but she wasn't feeling for herself or looking for pity when she said it. She meant it, she had pushed Jack to the breaking point and never once stopped to see what she was doing to him. She slept with Sawyer and hurt him, instead of letting him deal with it though she constantly badgered him for his attention and then got angry with him when he pushed her away. She never once thought that by constantly bothering him she was making it harder on him. She realized her distress at him avoiding her wasn't about the fact that she hurt him but because she didn't like the way it felt to be ignored. Jesus she was a selfish bitch, no wonder Juliet always looked at her like she was trash.
She had done the same to Sawyer, she had used him to fill the void of Jack and then got upset when Sawyer wanted more. She had been on the run for so long, cheating and conning her way through life that she actually began to become that person. And she didn't like it.
"I don't hate you Kate." Jack said wearily as he sat next to her on the couch, rubbing his eyes tiredly.
"Well if you did hate me I'm sure I would just use that as an excuse to pity myself" Kate said bitterly. She looked over at him but he was still staring straight ahead.
"I'm so sorry Jack, for everything. And I mean everything, from dealing with the Marshall all way through this." She said gesturing with her hand to the space between them. "I took you for granted and the worst part about it was I was too self absorbed to even realize I was doing it. I always blame my actions on my life-style, that by always being on the run I have to keep my guard up and always keep an eye on the nearest exit. Truth is though I've never even taken responsibility for what makes me run. I killed my step-father Jack. I probably didn't have to but I did it. I could have left I could have done something else but I didn't and that decision was mine to make. My best friend died when I was running from the police, that toy airplane was his. I blame myself for his death but I don't even do that right. I say I killed him because it makes it about me. He was a good man that made a decision that he thought was right and he died. He is what should be remembered not my guilt. I stare at that plane and I pity myself because I lost my best friend, not that he lost his life, that everyone he loved was affected, no I just mourn my own loss." Kate said sadly.
"Kate everyone does that" Jack said quietly. "I became obsessed when my wife left me for another man, I couldn't let it go. I convinced myself that if I could just know who he was that somehow I could make it better. I even suspected my father, my obsession drove a wedge between us and he broke his sobriety to start drinking again. He operated on a patient who died and he was drunk and I turned him in. he lost everything but I kept telling myself it was his own damn fault that he did this to himself. I like to conveniently forget that I helped break his sobriety that the whole time he was in AA I never asked how he was doing or tried to support him. I just wallowed in my own self hatred. We're all selfish people Kate." He said looking at his hands.
"I made a mistake when I slept with Sawyer." She said softly and she noticed he stiffened. "I made a mistake but it was my mistake and its up to me to deal with it, and trying to make you forgive me isn't going to make it better."
"I have nothing to forgive you for Kate" he said looking at her for the first time. His eyes were still glassy but the conversation had sobered him up slightly. "You don't owe me anything, and you did nothing wrong. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had. You and I were just friends and that's it. You have nothing to apologize for."
"I promised to have your back and I left you behind" Kate said quietly.
"Quit the pity party Kate, I told you to do it" Jack said.
Kate nodded, "So I guess the only thing we can do is just let the past go?" she asked him hopefully.
"What do you want Kate?" his voice wasn't cold or cruel but just curious.
"I want you Jack" she said softly but keeping her eyes on him. "I've always wanted you" she said simply.
Jack sighed, "You know awhile ago I would have cut my arm off to hear those words."
"And now?" she asked biting her lower lip.
"And now, I don't know what I want" he said simply. "I still care for you Kate but a lot has happened."
"You said you didn't blame me for Sawyer" she started to argue but he held his hand up.
"I don't blame you Kate, but it still happened and you need to deal with that. You need to deal with Sawyer. He still thinks you're together and you need to straighten things out with him before we even consider moving what we have any farther." He said.
"You sure make a lot of sense for someone who is completely trashed." Kate said with a small smile. He was right she need to talk to Sawyer, she owed him that.
Jack chuckled; "Yeah well I really want to pass out so I'm doing the best I can" he sat for a second and then looked up. "Juliet is my best friend and you're going to have to deal with that, the same way she's going to have to deal with you if we decide to start anything up."
Kate frowned; she knew this would be an issue. "I promise to treat her as well as she treats me" Kate said with a small smirk and Jack rolled his eyes. "Also what is this if stuff Jack Shephard? It might take a little time but we will have a relationship and we will be together."
"Oh yeah?" Jack asked giving her a cocky grin.
"So I think I'm going to be selfish for a second" Kate said and Jack looked at her questioningly. Kate grinned and leaned forward and pressed her lips to his in a deep and full kiss. Jack faltered for a second but eventually returned it gently. Kate groaned when he pulled away, she wanted so much more from him.
"Just think how good it will be when there are no issues between us" he said and with that he caressed her cheek and made his way out of the hatch. Kate leaned against the back of the couch stunned and then her face broke out into a giant grin, he was so hers.
Ok so there it is, I know some of you wanted smut but I really didn't think it fit in this plot it would have been too soon. I also hope it was ok with all of my Kate hate I tried for it to not bleed through too much. Jack being an little brat is inspired from the interview Foxy did for We Are Marshall on E! and he was being a total little brat, telling the reporter he was killed off Lost and giving her his little puppy dog look to get her to feel bad for him so that is where that comes from...little brat