A/N: Sorry for not updating, I was kinda busy and...well...you don't want to know. But hopefully this chapter makes up for it and you won't be too mad at me.

Disclaimer: Is there any point in saying this? I am not an evil genius (I wish I was)! Therefore I do not own Naruto! Or Pinocchio...

Warning: Very OOC Sasori, Itachi and a special appearance from the person with the world's worst hairdo, Sasuke.

Note: Hidan's swear words are underlined, Zetsu's black side is in bold and any Author's Notes are (A/N: In brackets and are bold too)

So enjoy...

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Utter silence for a moment.

Pein coughed loudly again. "I said, let the battle commence!"

"Huh...? Ohhhhhh right," Sasori muttered, drawing a scroll. "Lady and Gentlemen-"

"We're not pineapple gentle," Hidan said stupidly.

"Shut up!" Sasori hissed. "You're ruining my act! Ahem. People, I present to you, my newest puppet..."-drumroll-"...WHO'S DOING THE DRUMROLL?"

Tobi crawled back to his spot behind Zetsu, eyes shifting.

"Well, anyway. My newest puppet is...PINOCCHIO!"

Out from the scroll popped a very ugly, very stupid version of the puppet Pinocchio.

Crickets chirped. (A/N: Devotedtodreams, I told you I would use something other than silence )

"You're supposed to clap," Sasori pointed out.

"Oh right yes of course," Konan mumbled, clapping. Pein joined in, followed by half of Zetsu, and soon enough everyone except for the contestants was clapping. That included a very annoyed Hidan.

"Pooft! We can do better, can't we Dei-chan," Itachi announced.

"Um...we can un?" came the surprised reply.

Itachi chose to ignore that. "Members of Akatsuki, I present to you...Uchiha Sasuke!"

At that exact moment, Sasuke stumbled out of the bushes. "AHA! ITACHI!" he cried dramatically. "I SHALL KILL YOU!"

"Not now Sasuke," Itachi said in a loud whisper. "You're gonna fight for us."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No."

"Yes."

"Fine..."

"Wow...Itachi's mindreading powers actually worked," Kakuzu raised an eyebrow.

"No, it's just lollipop luck," Hidan muttered back.

Sasuke stepped into the ring as well. Now everyone was ready.

"PINNOCHIO! CHARGE!" Sasori screamed, flexing his fingers. Pinocchio ran a few steps, then collapsed onto one of the marshmallows. "I'm screwed..." the redhead muttered.

"Haha! Pinocchio has...collapsed. Now's our chance Sasuke! Dei-chan!" Itachi cried, pushing Sasuke in front of him.

"I reckon Danna was better off using Hiruko, hmm..." Deidara muttered wistfully.

"Who's side are you on?" Itachi demanded.

"Zetsu's un."

"Sasuke! Use your Harem no Jutsu!" Itachi shrieked.

"HAREM NO JUTSU!" Sasuke was immediately replaced by the ugliest girl the world had ever seen. The girl had flabby arms and legs, and a face which looked so distorted it may have come from an alien. Several patches of her orange skin were burnt, or looked burnt. "Well, do you like me?" She...I mean he said in a sickly sweet super high voice. The glass Kisame was holding broke.

Several reactions happened at once.

Zetsu closed his Flytrap, both sides wincing. Deidara fainted. Itachi grinned and did the 'Nice Guy' pose. Kisame got glass everywhere. Kakuzu had a heart attack, while Hidan continuously stabbed himself, until he passed out as well from blood loss. Pein and Konan scrambled up some random nearby tree to escape the horrifying Sasuke. Sasori gorged his puppet eyes out. And Tobi? Tobi was chewing on the Marshmallow Ring in all this confusion, oblivious to anything else. Again.

After the horrifying incident, Pein literally threw Sasuke out of their forest. . Itachi got a hell of a lot of paper cuts from Konan. The marshmallow ring had been repaired once more, and everything was finally back to normal.

"Thank goodness..." Kisame said in a bare whisper, bloodshot eyes glaring at the papercutted Itachi.

"Ahem. Order please," Pein strained his voice to be heard.

However, squabbling and mutterings continued.

"ORDER PLEASE!" Pein roared, yet the talking still continued.

"LISTEN TO YOUR LEADER DAMMIT!" Konan shrieked.

Silence. Not a single person or thing moved. Konan was really scary sometimes. The crickets had all ran away due to the revolting Sasuke display.

Pein coughed another useless cough again. "We shall continue as before, except without Sasuke's..." He shuddered, and everyone else shuddered with him. Except for Itachi and Tobi who had no idea what was going on. "Itachi. Deidara. Show us what you can do."

"ART IS A BANG!" Deidara screamed, throwing a clay bird into the air.

"It's eternal," Sasori countered calmly. He had gotten over the Sasuke and Pinocchio incident much quicker than everyone else. That was probably because he was a puppet. "Art is eternal, brat. Something left to last and can withstand the ravages of time."

"That's where your wrong, Danna, hmm," Deidara argued. "True art is fleeting, un, gone as soon as it comes."

"There's no point of something vanishing as fast as that. Art is..." Sasori stopped, noticing everyone but Tobi was asleep.

"Woot! Go Senpai!" Tobi cheered.

Crickets chirped again. Sasuke must be a long way away from here.

"Urgh...is it over?" Pein muttered, supporting the sleeping Konan. Judging battles was much harder than he thought. Zetsu's Flytrap opened as everyone else began to wake up.

Itachi grabbed a random kunai and jabbed Sasori in the face. Sasori stared back stupidly.

"You do realize I'm a puppet and can't feel pain, right?"

"Yeah, but it gives me a good impression," Itachi smirked.

Kisame fainted at that. Itachi smirking? That wasn't something you saw every day.

"Well, that's not something you see every day," Konan murmured.

"The jellybean authoress just said that," Hidan rolled his eyes.

"Did anyone win yet?" Kakuzu asked impatiently. He needed his money...

"Um...no we're still going," Pein muttered quickly. "Deidara, Sasori, shut up about art and actually fight, will you?"

Deidara sighed, but orders were orders. His clay bird grew larger and soon it popped the marshmallow ring, sending marshmallow everywhere, to Tobi's delight. "Leader-sama, you gotta make the ring bigger un," the blonde whined.

Pein shrugged and suddenly the marshmallow ring grew to the size of a football stadium. That means more marshmallows for Tobi! –Excited squeal-

"That's better," Deidara smirked, and then jumped onto the bird.

Sasori was mouthing 'Thanks Tobi' to the masked man, who was gnawing bit by bit at the marshmallow ring again. Nobody noticed because, finally, the real battle was going to begin.

"Brat, take this! Bombard-with-marshmallow Jutsu!" In rapid succession, the puppet master began throwing the marshmallows from the ring towards Deidara, who was unable to dodge because he was being overloaded by marshmallows.

"My Marshmallows!" Pein cried into Konan's shoulder.

"There there, we'll get you some from Konoha Marshmallow Store later..." Konan reassured him. So much for the 'tough' leader of Akatsuki.

"Too...many...marshmallows...can't...breathe...help..." Deidara gasped, clay bird tilting to one side as all the cargo fell from the bird.

"I'll help you Dei-chan!" Itachi announced, walking right in front of Sasori. "Tsukiyomi!"

A scream from Sasori shattered the silence. "AHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOO!!" The Akasuna no Sasori screamed.

Everyone leaned in closer, eager to hear what Itachi had done. Eaten by termites? Dying?

"WhatisitWhatisitWhatisitWhatisitWhatisitWhatisitWhatisitWhatisitWhatisitWhatisitWhatisitWhatisitWhatisldsjkhfjd?" Kisame spoke so fast he got tongue tied.

Itachi smirked; flicking his Akatsuki cloak off, thinking some fangirl would catch it. Nobody caught it. He scowled, but still spoke. "I just replaced his Barbie dolls with Bratz ones."

Everyone fell to the floor anime style. When they woke up, Kisame's tongue was tied, Hidan's eyes were bloodshot, Kakuzu had a giant bump on his head, Zetsu's black side was so pale it became white, Konan was a lump of paper on the ground and Pein was cross-eyed, drooling on Konan. Tobi was eating marshmallows in his dreams.

"Does this mean we win?" Itachi asked cheerfully. He attempted to walk towards Deidara, but tripped over the marshmallow boundary, hit his head on the ground, attempted to get up again, tripping over Tobi who was still sleeping and promptly flattening Konan. It somehow ruined his effect.

"No!" Pein looked very dangerous indeed, towering over the Uchiha like that. Even The Uchiha Itachi couldn't help but get slightly intimidated.

Deidara dragged him back into the ring just as Sasori stood up again.

"Continue the battle!" Kakuzu shouted, eager to get his hands on money.

"Go Sasori!" Zetsu cheered.

"Go Itachi and Deidara!"

"Sasori!"

"Itachi and Deidara!"

"Saso-"

"SHUT UP!"

Silence. Even the crickets shut up this time.

The silence was broken by...

"Tobi likes Marshmallows.

That did it. Every single Akatsuki member attempted to pounce onto the masked man, fire in their eyes.

"TOBI! YOU ARE SO DEAD!" Deidara shrieked, visible eye twitching furiously.

"SON OF A ICE-CREAM!" Hidan swore. He somehow managed to get his hands around Tobi's neck.

"Give me my money!" Kakuzu yelled, pick pocketing Tobi as well as everyone else he could see.

"How dare you interrupt our battle!" Itachi snarled, Amaterasu-ing Deidara's clay bird.

"FOR PINOCCHIO!" Sasori howled. Everyone stopped, looked at him weirdly before killing Tobi again.

"Cheer for Itachi-san too!" Kisame cried, crushing everyone underneath him.

"Let's kill him!"

"No! Tobi is a goo-"

"Tobi is not a good boy!"

"Yes!"

"No!" Zetsu began arguing with himself. Again.

"Don't interrupt my show!" Konan bombarded everyone around Tobi with paper shuriken.

Pein tapped her cautiously on the shoulder. "Um...is it your time of the month?"

Konan howled and turned her victim to Pein.

--

So...how'd it go? I hope you're not mad at me...? Are you?

Who's gonna win the battle thing? Only you (and me) know Review to vote!

After you review and only after you review, Have a nice day ;)