Chapter 7: Waking Moments

The workshop was quiet—save for a faint and constant beep from a heart monitor, and the intermittent whirring of a robot nearby. The mess left behind from Stark's disastrous entrance had been cleaned up and the damaged pieces of the suit had been set into a storage area for later scrutiny and repair.

Pepper Potts' made her way back down to the workshop with a cup of black coffee in her hand. She placed her hand onto the new scanner and was permitted entry as the heavy doors swished open. Taking a careful sip from her cup, she made her way back to her chair next to Stark. It had been four hours since his explosive arrival back home, and Pepper was struggling to keep her eyes open while also keeping a close eye on her boss to ensure he was resting comfortably.

Bruised ribs meant that his lower chest and abdomen had to be wrapped securely to make certain no further damage would take place to the area. In addition, his right shoulder had a smooth bandage over it, covering the twelve stitches it took to repair the broken skin beneath it. His legs had been covered in an ointment to induce quick healing for the bruises. For all of this attention to be paid to his medical needs, his undershirt had to be cut away as well as the leggings on his lower half, leaving Tony Stark quite indisposed. A smooth dark bed sheet now covered his lower extremities, and the white bandages on his upper half were in stark contrast to the pale pink skin it covered.

Sitting back in her chair, Pepper yawned and blinked several times trying to keep the sleep that was creeping up on her at bay. She took another big gulp of her coffee then set the large cup off to the side on a workbench. Picking up her computerized notepad, she began checking her emails and the schedule for Tony. It had been almost four days since she had checked anything related to schedules or appointments, so now, as she waited for her computer screen to load, she held her breath, dreading the emails awaiting her attention.

78 New Messages. Pepper groaned at the sight of her inbox. This is not what she wanted to be doing at, she checked her watch, 5:53am. Sighing, she glanced at the 'from' column and noticed that there were two from James Rhodes.

She clicked the first one sent--three days ago, before Stark left on his mission.

Pepper-

Please inform that infuriating boss of yours that he needs to contact me as soon as possible! I have tried everything to get into contact with him. I know he is 'going away' tonight, but I need to speak to him urgently regarding some local stuff going on.

If you get this before you see him, please let tell him to contact me.

Thanks in advance, Rhodey

She clicked the next message--sent this morning at, 3:15am.

I need to speak to him. His antics have not gone unnoticed. And there is still some urgent Intel that needs to be discussed. Please Pepper—tell him to call me.

Rhodey.

Obviously there was something going on that needed immediate attention. Pepper thought to remind Tony to contact Rhodes as soon as he was able to carry on a coherent conversation. Deciding that the emails could wait, she dropped her laptop onto the same workbench as her coffee, closed her eyes and then stretched languidly, easing the tense muscles in her neck and shoulders.

Upon opening her eyes, her gaze drifted over to the sleeping man by her side. His lips were slightly parted, causing a puff of air to escape each time he exhaled. His hair was pushed back from his face, and Pepper thought offhandedly to herself that she should schedule an appointment with his hair stylist for a trim.

She watched as his eyes danced behind closed lids— and she wondered, not for the first time, what he was dreaming of. Was he dreaming about his latest adventure? Or, perhaps something from the past? She cringed inwardly, thinking of how awful those nightmares would be. Living through the horror of being a captive is one thing, but to relive those dreadful memories while trapped in your own mind is a whole other experience.

He had never discussed his captivity with her. In fact, she was pretty sure he had never really talked about it to anyone—including Rhodes.

Continuing her unseen observations, she stood and brought herself closer to his sleeping form. The heart monitor continued to beep softly on her left, and she was suddenly reminded of the last time she stood right here, in the same position. Replacing a revolutionary device invented as a means to keep his heart safe from microscopic debris left behind from an exploded missile was, to most observers, quite a different situation than the one at hand. But to Pepper, that moment and this one were inextricably linked.

I don't have anyone else…His casual admission at the time had made her stop and stare at him; as if she needed to consider if whether or not he was being sincere. Decidedly, she nodded, and agreed to help him with the procedure.

Now, months later, she stood next to him as he lay once again in the black operating chair in need of care. She heaved a sigh of disbelief at the man. His ability to put himself in harm's way didn't seem to bother him in the least. But to her, it was as if he were teetering on the edge of a dangerous cliff with nothing to hold on to—if one small gust of wind came along, he would fall straight to the rocks below, and she would have to watch helplessly as it all happened.

Damn him for making her feel this worry.

She shook her head.

Damn me for worrying.

Her eyes came to focus on the soft blue light of his arc reactor. She both hated and loved the small infernal object. She loved it for its purpose; for keeping his heart safe—keeping Tony Stark alive. But she hated it for everything it meant. It sat, implanted in the chest of its creator because the greed of others could not be satisfied. The desire for money and power and the weapons needed to attain such things was a poison that infected the hearts of men all over the world. It also meant that there was pain and suffering involved—not only on Tony's part, but on the part of those who were also unfortunate enough to be caught in the path of the same violence and greediness. It all seemed so trivial and contrite to her. It didn't make sense—and yet it did. Human nature drives men with the need to dominate over others—to take and take and take until there is nothing left. There had to be an end to it all—

Pepper blinked in realization.

Suddenly, it all made sense to her. He made sense. The reason he was lying in this chair in front of her…it all made sense.

His newfound passion and purpose was to right the wrongs he had so passively dismissed. She all of a sudden understood that he was now on a path to become better than he or anyone else ever thought he could be—not as a businessman or a billionaire or an innovator—not even as Tony Stark, the inventor—

But as a man.

Even though he couldn't see it, and probably because she knew he couldn't, she smiled at him. It was a warm, proud smile that was genuine and endearing. She tilted her head to the side as if she were seeing him for the first time, and continued to beam down at her boss. She had a sudden urge to shake him awake and share her newfound realization with him. Instead, her right hand reached out towards his chest, and, upon its own volition, settled itself down upon the cool metal of the arc reactor.

The device hummed softly beneath her palm and she watched, fascinated, as the blue light emanating from its center passed between her fingers. Her hand continued its exploration and began to trace the perimeter of the metal surrounding the light. The edges were a bit bumpy where the clamps were embedded into his chest, but as her fingers came into contact with his body, she was surprised at how smooth the skin was under her fingertips. Her thumb grazed the center of the reactor again and the motion of her hand came to a stop just over his heart. She closed her eyes for a brief moment so she could concentrate on feeling for his heartbeat beneath her hand.

"You know, if I weren't lying here injured, I would be totally turned on right now." The sound of Tony's voice startled her out of her reverie. She yanked her hand back as she opened her eyes and found him staring directly at her. She felt as if she were a child who had just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

Pepper blushed furiously and stammered, "I—I was just…Your heart--" She shook her head, trying to regain control of her speech.

"My heart…? Oh, I get it. You're still not convinced there's one in here? Had to feel for yourself?" His tone was playful, but she could tell it hinged on the border of sarcasm. She frowned.

"I was just making sure your bandages were secure." She said softly. She opted for a reasonable explanation rather than the truth.

"Oh." He breathed. His eyes still watching her curiously.

Finally feeling calm and collected, Pepper brought the topic back under her control. "How are you feeling?"

His eyes went closed for a brief moment as he tried to think of a response. "Like I need a stiff drink."

"A drink is the last thing you need right now." She admonished him. "What you need to do is rest."

Tony shook his head. "I just spent the last four hours 'resting'. I need to fix the damages on the suit, check in with Rhodes, and find an aspirin the size of Mexico…" He started to lift himself up off of the chair, but Pepper had other plans.

She quickly brought her hands to his shoulders and pushed him back down. "Ah ah! I don't think so! Tony, just a few hours ago you crash landed in here like a wrecking ball through a building. You have bruised ribs, an injured shoulder and a concussion!" She held onto his shoulders as he tried again to sit up. "Stay!"

Luckily for her, the pain in his abdomen increased tenfold due to his attempt at rising. He groaned and carefully settled himself back down into the chair, gripping his midsection.

"What time is it anyway?" He asked, ignoring Pepper's look of triumph.

As if he had been waiting to spring into the conversation, Jarvis energetically answered, "The time is now 6:30am. Would you like to know the current weather conditions as well?"

"Yes."

"No!"

Tony and Pepper both answered at the same time. Their eyes flew back to each other.

"Tony, the weather is not important right now." Pepper was once again trying to convince him to take it easy, telling him what to do-- and it finally sent him over the edge.

"No, no. You see, Miss Potts…that's where you're wrong." Tony leaned back into the chair and took a breath, an unexpected firmness in his voice. "The weather isimportant. It tells us what is really going on in the world today. No news broadcast or paper will ever fully explain what it feels like to have the warmth of the sun on your skin or what the smell of the rain is like when it begins to fall…" Tony's eyes slipped shut as if he were trying to focus on each of the images he was describing.

His chest heaving slightly, he continued, "The weather—the elements, Miss Potts—that is what connects us to what is real on this earth." A hint of bitterness crept into his voice, and Pepper stood listening to him, quite speechless, as he finished his reasoning for wanting to know about the weather outside. It took a few more moments for her to realize why he all of a sudden had a fixation on the climate.

Three months of no light. Three months of not knowing if it were day or night on the outside. His own life was on the line while he worked harder than he ever had to escape those who held him and Yinsen captive. Three long months of being told what to do and when to do it. Three months was a long time to go without ever knowing if the sun was shining, or if the rain was falling.

She looked down at her hands as she felt a wave of remorse run over her. "Tony…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to brush off something that is important to you…I just—I'm--" Pepper began twisting her hands together as a bit of sadness threatened to overtake her.

Tony opened his eyes and saw the guilt in her face. It wasn't his intention to make her feel bad—he just needed her to understand. He reached his own hand out and caught her wrist, stopping her movements.

"Pepper, I wouldn't wish what I went through on my worst enemy. It wasn't fun." He remarked, adding a quick laugh to ease both of their nerves. "But, in spite of the darkness that I spent my time in, I have to say… It helped me to realize how much I appreciate the light in my life." He slowly began to draw her closer, and placed her hand back over the arc reactor, across his heart.

"There were times in that cave when all I wanted to do was curl up and die--" He started.

"Tony…you don't have to tell me this--" Her argument was interrupted as he shook his head.

"I want—need-- to say just this one thing, ok?" He pressed on, looking into her face for a signal to carry on. She nodded, letting him know to continue. "This suit…this 'Iron Man' persona…it isn't just to enlarge my already huge…ego." He smiled smugly up at her, and she returned an amused smile of her own.

"Yinsen, the man I was held captive with, helped me to recognize who I truly was. And that giving up—laying there to die—was not an option I was willing to take." He motioned with his head to his workstation that held up the Mark II suit. She followed his gaze.

His voice was softer still as he continued, "I am securing the safety of those whom I put in harm's way—and if that means putting myself in the path of a bullet or a missile that I created to help them…then that's just the way it has to be."

Pepper suddenly felt as if the air in the room had gotten thinner and her chest felt tight; she swallowed a lump in her throat. This sudden onslaught of truthfulness from Tony Stark was entirely unexpected. She felt overwhelmed and she began to shift nervously as she fought the urge to run. But a squeeze of her hand brought her back from the moment of panic. Her eyes fell to where he still held her hand captive on his chest. She let out a shaky breath and felt her nerves begin to calm.

Sensing her unease, Tony released his hold of her hand and cleared his throat. "Ok then Miss Potts…if you're so intent on keeping me under your watchful eye, I believe I am ready for my sponge bath." He smirked. "And don't be cheap on the bubbles either."

Letting out a sigh of relief on having her old smart-mouthed boss back, Pepper playfully tapped him on the forehead and moved away from the chair. Knowing that some distance between them after such a rather intimate moment would be the best thing, Pepper sat herself back down in her own chair and picked up her laptop.

Tony watched as she carefully moved herself out of reach of his hands and switched into work mode.

Thinking she should change the subject, Pepper remembered the urgent messages from Colonial Rhodes. "Ahem…well, let me just run this by you quickly," Pepper spoke quickly. "Rhodey does need to speak with you ASAP. He mentioned a few times that there has been some security issues down at the harbor near Stark Industries—and something about a local crime spree happening that may have something to do with last months' string of robberies at the warehouse--" Pepper broke off in mid-sentence as if she were unable to continue and looked up at Tony's chest.

Tony looked at her inquisitively. "You alright?" He blinked, trying to figure out why all of a sudden she had an innate need to stare at him. He looked down to where her eyes were focused and saw that the normally constant blue glow of his arc reactor was fading in and out.

Pepper stretched out her hand and pointed at the device. "Is it supposed to do that?" She looked up worriedly at his face and saw his mouth agape as he also stared blankly at the chest piece.

"Uh…hmm…not that I recall." Tony brought his left hand up and tapped on the outer rim of the miniature reactor. "Hey Jarvis, do a scan on me, will ya?"

"Of course sir. One moment, please lie still." Jarvis brought the scanner on-line for a second time that day and proceeded to examine Stark.

"Strange…" Jarvis said cryptically. Tony and Pepper's eyebrows both rose.

"Gonna need a bit more to go on please…" Tony called back.

"It seems as if there may be some damage to the casing of the reactor. I'm sorry that my earlier scan did not pick this up before. I would highly suggest replacing the damaged casing with a stronger one…perhaps your new design sir?"

Tony considered the idea and nodded his head in agreement. "Right, sounds like a plan…go ahead and fabricate the pieces as soon as possible." Tony glanced back at his assistant and saw a look of warning displayed on her feminine features. "We will replace it tomorrow, Jarvis. I have to get some rest first—otherwise Miss Potts may break something else." Tony's mouth slid into a lopsided smile as he got a look of approval from Pepper.

Making up his mind that it was time to get some rest in his own bed, Tony began to remove the heart monitor wires that were attached to his chest. Pepper stood up quickly and slapped his hands away.

Tony shook his newly sore hand. "Hey! Come on!"

"What are you doing? Did we not just agree that you needed to rest?" Pepper put her hands on her hips determinedly.

"YES. And I am going to rest…Just not here." Tony continued removing the wires but found that the last two were just beyond the reach of his injured right arm. He looked over at Pepper pleadingly.

"To your room then?" She asked in a tone that sent him a warning to say yes.

He got it. "YES. But I need a little help…if you don't mind." He reached again for the maddening wires, but was stopped by her hands. She carefully peeled off the remaining two suction cups and then moved to stand on the left side of the chair. She raised her hands to her hair and pulled it back into a loose ponytail, then brought her hand to his shoulder.

"If we're gonna do this, let's just take it slow, ok? One step at a time." She held his eyes with her own until they both reached a silent understanding. Nodding his head, he then allowed her to help him into a sitting position on the chair. After a short wave of dizziness passed, he swung his legs over the edge of the chair to the left so that they hung just above the floor and next to her legs. Then, slipping her right arm behind him, she lifted his left so that it went over her head and rested on her shoulders.

He gripped the edge of the chair with his right hand and pushed himself up as she pulled. He nearly crumbled to the floor just as his feet touched the ground. But Pepper held fast and strong; keeping him from falling. He grimaced as the pressure on his ribs increased and the pain returned in full force.

"Sorry…" She said softly, apologetically.

"You have nothing to be sorry about." He answered her back firmly, his mouth suddenly close enough to her ear that she felt his breath on her cheek. She tightened her grip on him as he struggled to stand upright next to her.

Using his right hand, he secured the sheet around his waist, and then reached for the edge of the workstation as they began inching towards the exit of the workshop.

Slowly but surely they made it all the way to his bedroom. The soft light of the sunrise bathed the room in a warm glow as Pepper helped Tony sit at the edge of his bed. Wordlessly, she brought him a loose fitting t-shirt and a pair of sweats to put on. She pulled back the sheets to his bed and then turned to leave.

"Pepper?" He called after her. She turned back, looking almost as tired as he did.

"Yes?" She answered back quietly, smiling despite her exhaustion.

He hesitated, as if he were unsure that what he was about to say was entirely appropriate. What the hell, he thought. "You…" he took a breath. "You are a part of the reason I survived those hellish three months in that cave." He averted his eyes from hers and looked at the floor in front of his feet. "And you are still a part of the reason why I am sitting here now." He braved a look at her face, and found her blue eyes looking back into his darker ones. "Thank you." He said sincerely, holding onto the moment carefully as if it were a tangible thing, and at any moment it was about to fall from his grasp and shatter on the floor.

Pepper felt an unfamiliar warmth wash over her and felt her lips turn up into a shy smile. Again, she was given a glimpse at a very rare version of Tony Stark. A version she was slowly becoming accustomed to. But she knew regrettably, from experience, that this side of Tony's would most likely not last. Even so, she allowed herself a moment of sincerity as well, "You're welcome, Tony." She allowed the moment to continue a few seconds longer, and then left the room, shutting the door silently on her way out.

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Sorry again about the delay in updating—but school's out for summer now!!

Please review…let me know what you're thinking out there…I am trying to build this slowly—obviously…but I do know it's time to see some more personal interaction.

Update soon…cross my heart…