A/N: I know, I know, I'm an idiot for not updating...-sigh- Oh well...guess what? This is the second last chapter!
-Awkward silence-
O...kay...-slowly backs away- I'll just...say the disclaimer and let you read now...-runs-
Disclaimer: I'm leaning towards buying Naruto...but until I do...I DON'T OWN NARUTO!
Poor poor Tobi.
After being patched up and stitched by Kakuzu, the masked man took his place dutifully behind Zetsu as the battle began again. So many interruptions today.
"I HATE YOU ITACHI!" yelled an indignant Sasori, flying through the air and tackling Itachi.
"Arrrgggghhhhhh SSSSAAAAASSSSSSSOOOO-" Itachi's screaming was abruptly cut off as Sasori jammed a wooden hand into his mouth.
"Itachi...Danna...Itachi...Danna...Ita-I DON'T KNOW UN!" Shrugging, Deidara just jumped into a nearby bush.
"JASHIN DAMN IT! SOMEONE WIN!"
"Money! I need money! Hidan...are you gonna bet?"
"Sugar No!"
"That's too bad...HEY KONAN! YOU GONNA BET?"
"No!"
"Leader-sama, gonna bet?"
"Sure! I'll go for Sasori...he's winning right now, so it seems.
"Pineapple! I'm going for Itachi and the cookie Deidara...where is he, anyway?"
"Hiding in a bush," Konan replied, pointing a finger at a strand of yellow.
"I'm going for Itachi-san too!"
"DEIDARA-SENPAI WILL WIN!"
There was a moment of silence when nobody could think of anything to say.
"KATSU!"
. . .
KABOOM!
The whole clearing was torn apart. Trees were torn from their roots, dust and debris flying everywhere. Itachi and Sasori were blown away from each other, while Pein summoned a protective barrier for everyone else. Except for Hidan. Kakuzu pushed him out at the last moment.
"Cream Kakuzu! I'm gonna-"
He didn't get a chance to finish, as his body was blasted into different tiny pieces.
Eventually, everything quieted down and out came a Deidara, looking as much as he did so before the explosion. Everyone stared accusingly at him.
"Um...did I do something wrong, un?" asked the blond in a quiet voice, getting slightly intimidated by the stares and glares and various pointing and the swearing from Hidan's head. No, wait. Slightly was an understatement. He was downright freaked out.
"Deidara wins!" Pein declared, clapping. Nobody else joined in, and the clapping soon died. "Kakuzu! He got rid of Hidan! Aren't you gonna clap?"
"Sure! If you pay me, that is," Kakuzu smirked and stretched out, hands tingling for the money.
Pein was about to hand it over grudgingly when a very loud cough interrupted.
"What do you strawberry mean he got rid of me?" Hidan's talking head was perched on a very very tall tree indeed. So tall Pein had to cram his head up to see.
Pein gulped..."Hi...Hidan...?" He began backing away towards a lot of trees.
Sasori was climbing out of four hundred trees that had collapsed over him. "Why does Deidara win?"he asked, shoving Pein back into their little circle.
"ART IS A BA-"
"SHUT UP!"
Itachi walked over, grabbed the blond's shoulders and shook it roughly. "Idiot! You could have got us all killed!"
"Wait...you guys aren't dead? That sucks un..." Deidara sighed. His words caused anime veins to appear in everyone else's head.
"Go Senpai! Go Senpai! Go ...Sen...pai?"
"Sasori wins!" Pein declared, starting to clap. Nobody joined in either.
"Why does he win un?"
"Why do I win?"
"Why does he win?" Itachi frowned.
"I don't know...WE SHALL CONTINUE THE MATCH!"
Deidara, Sasori and Itachi took their places in the marshmallow ring, which magically appeared again.
"Amaterasu!" Itachi cried, promptly frying Tobi.
"Waaaahhhhhhh why did Tobi get Amate...Ameteru...Amaturesa-ed?" Tobi cried.
"Tobi, how many times to I have to tell you it's Amuretasu?"
"Stop confusing the poor boy, it's Amaterasu!" Zetsu's white half argued.
"Amerutsa!"
"That's different from what you said last time," Kakuzu interrupted.
"See! Kakuzu's sticking up with me!"
"Only if you pay me," Kakuzu replied smugly.
"Usaretama un!"
"That's Amaterasu backwards!" Zetsu's white side complained.
"It is un?"
"Amegakure!" Konan said triumphantly.
"That's the name of our village," Pein countered.
"Great..."
"AmePinnochio!"
"Wtf? Sasori! Don't get in this!"
"AllhailLordJashin!"
"Hidan, don't get into this either.
"Raspberry Kakuzu."
"AMATERASU!" Itachi screamed into Konan's ear, making her go temporarily deaf.
"See! Itachi agrees with me! I mean...Half of me agree with Itachi," Zetsu said.
"What's going on? Why isn't anyone talking? Why can't I hear my own voice? Hello? Anyone alive?" Konan shrieked.
"You. Are. Deaf. Un." Deidara said, all three mouths mouthing those words.
"Soot. Par. Red. Bun? Oh oh, or maybe it's Root. Star. Fed. Barn? Is this a guessing game? How's Boot. Darn. Fat. Orn?" Konan asked.
Deidara made a 'WTF?' face and gave up on her.
"Orn isn't even a word," Sasori mused.
"Poor Tobi," Zetsu sighed, trying to comfort the masked man.
"He deserved it!"
"He did not! Tobi is a good boy!"
"He'll only be a good boy when he's eaten."
"Really, Zetsu-san? I'll only be a good boy when I'm eaten? Please eat me then!" Tobi said a bit too cheerfully.
At this point, everyone began backing away from Tobi.
"This is jelly dumb, can we get on with the fight instead of lagging here?" Hidan's head shrieked from the treetops.
"Yeah! We need to stop being sidetracked!" Itachi agreed.
"Glad someone's still on topic," Kisame muttered, although secretly surprised it was Hidan.
"Deidara! Sasori! Itachi! Positions!" Pein yelled.
"Yessir!" The three took their positions in the marshmallow ring.
"Itachi! Sasori! Deidara! Fight!"
"Yessir!"
Itachi dived at Sasori, screaming some random battle cry which sounded like 'Aiiiiiieeeeeyayyyyyyyaaaaiiiioooouuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaayyooooo'. He tackled the puppet master, and both of them rolled around on the ground, trying to take each other's eyes out. It looked quite hilarious.
Deidara was attempting to get out of the mess. He took one step towards Sasori, tripped over Itachi and found himself in their brawl as well. "Damn un..." Now it looked funnier.
Sasori was trying to kick Itachi off. Itachi was still screaming his battle cry and tearing at every inch of Sasori...which wasn't very effective since the latter couldn't feel pain. And Deidara was trying to get out of it all.
At this point, many of the viewers had started to yell and scream and cheer and, in Hidan's case, shoot curses.
"Mother cake just get on with the chocolate fight!
"Shut up Hidan! They are fighting!"
"Don't tell me to cookie shut up, Kakuzu!"
"Sasori! Pwn them all!"
"Itachi! Deidara! Work together!"
"Screw you white side, why are you going for them?"
"They're obviously going to win!"
"You wish!"
"Itachi-san! Punch his lights out!"
"That isn't really a good thing to say, Kisame-san. You should say things like...GO SENPAI!"
"Tobi, I doubt Deidara will hear you...and if he does, he'll most likely ignore you. Itachi! Uh..poke him!"
"Kisame, that's not going to help."
"Well, let's see you do a better one, Leader!"
"Fine... SASORI! PUNCH ANYONE YOU CAN SEE!"
"Pein, that's not really appropriate."
"Don't interrupt me now, Konan, I'm trying to win a bet he-" A wooden fist slammed into his face. "SASORI! What was that for?"
"What? You told me to punch everyone I saw, and I saw you first."
Pein twitched. "I meant Itachi and Deidara you...puppet thing!"
"Ohhhhhh okay." Sasori joined their brawl again, punching both Itachi and Deidara in the face.
"Owwww!! Danna, what was that for, un?"
"Don't blame me, Leader-sama told me to!"
"Sasori! Stop punching us!"
"I told you already, Itachi, Leader-sama told me!"
"Well don't listen to Leader-sama then!"
"Easy enough for you to say, you're his favourite!"
"WHAT? I thought it was Konan, un!"
"That's not that I meant, Deidara."
"Wait...I'm his favourite...?" Itachi stopped in his tracks. "Woot! I'm Leader's favour-" He was tackled by Deidara again, this time on purpose.
"DEIDARA! What was that for?"
"Shut up un! I thought Danna was Leader-sama's favourite!"
"What? Who gave you that idea?"
"It's obvious, Itachi, you just don't know it yet, un!"
"I am so not Leader-sama's favourite! Deidara, what had gone into your mind?"
"I don't know un..."
"Hey...are we supposed to be fighting?" Itachi asked suddenly.
"OF COURSE YOU CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE ARE!"
"Shut up, Hidan, un!"
"Can we just call it a tie?" Sasori yawned.
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No! Stop disagreeing with me, white side!"
"Shut up, black side!"
"Itachi-san must wi-" Kisame's voice was drowned out by a louder screaming.
"GO SENNNNNNNNNNNNPAIIIIIIIIIIIII!! SENPAI MUST WIN!"
"You just gotta get a tie! That way-"
"Nobody wins and you get all the money, we figured that out, Kakuzu," Pein yelled.
"Pein, be politer to our...minions," Konan suggested.
"We're minions now, un?" Deidara demanded furiously.
"Um...no, just a slip of the tongue," Konan assured him with a smile.
"Didn't sound like it, un," the blond said darkly, before returning to his Danna.
"So...are we going to tie?" Itachi asked in a stage whisper.
"Let's just tie and shut the crowd up," Sasori agreed.
"Ano...you guys...we're minions, hmm," Deidara put in cheekily.
"So what, brat?"
"I just thought you should know, un."
"WE TIE!" Itachi announced dramatically.
Crickets chirped.
"Uh...right," Pein forced a smile and recorded something down on Konan. She was made of paper, after all.
"So...do we win, un?" Deidara asked.
"Pineapple! He just said you sugar tied!" Hidan bellowed.
"Oh..." Deidara looked less than pleased.
"I GET MY MONEY!" Kakuzu yelled joyfully, holding out tentacles for money. "Come on, guys, cough up!"
Sighing, everyone who betted gave him money. And who betted?
Pein- Sasori
Hidan- Itachi and Deidara
Black half of Zetsu- Sasori
White half of Zetsu- Deidara and Itachi
Kisame- Itachi (and Deidara)
Tobi- SENPAI! I mean Deidara (and Itachi)
Luck Konan didn't bet. Betting wasn't for girls, everyone realized.
"I'm so glad that's over!" Pein threw his hands into the air and sat down, asleep.
I stop at the worst places, huh? Oh well...the next chapter will be the last Is that a good thing? I don't know...
Review!? I shall give you immaginary cookies
After you review, Have a nice day :)