I woke up and something was different, I couldn't pinpoint it. I scooted up so I could sit up and see what the problem was. My holy t-shirt was not so holy anymore, more like shreds. My entire right arm was threw a hole at my shoulder.
"Well that is strange and unexpected." I said to myself
"I think it's cute. It's like your own straight jacket." Said Edward chuckling
"No. it's not cute"
I climbed out of bed and grabbed a sweatshirt that was thrown on top of the rocking chair, and pulled it over my head. Edward took my hand and started to play with my fingers. He ran his long pale fingers up mine then back down intertwining mine with his, before kissing my palm.
"How are you so wonderful?" I asked stunned by his beauty. He looked disappointed.
"I'm not Bella." He looked down to the floor.
I bit my lip and looked at him with sorrow. He dropped my hand and crossed his arms, staying perfectly still like a Greek statue. I hated that he parted from me, even though it was only seconds I craved his touch. I needed to know what he's thinking, how he feels.
"Tell me what you're thinking."
"Shouldn't I be asking that?"
"Stop, lately you've been distant with your words. You don't tell me what's happening in your head, you won't talk to me…You just run off. This isn't you Edward."
Edward walked towards me, arms still crossed. His fists seemed to tighten underneath his arms. I didn't know what to expect from him. I always want everything to be better, for all his pain to go away.
"I just need to know that you forgive me."
"Of course I do Edward, I told you nothing you can do can change anything." I reached up to touch his face, but he turned away from me.
"What's wrong?"
"I just don't think I should be around you for a few days."
"Edward! You promised. No more leaving."
"Bella, sweetheart I am not going to leave you ever again. I just need to be alone for awhile and think things over, gain some control. I don't trust myself with you."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. How could he leave me now, I needed him desperately. I can't do this alone. I didn't want to show my venerability, how much I actually need and depend on him. I was over taken by anger.
"Well then you can start right now! Leave."
"Bella…it's not like that."
"Leave Edward!" tears were coming, I could feel it.
Edward tried to approach me, but I stepped back just as he had. His mouth formed a hard line. He looked down at the floor with defeat and returned his posture to a Greek statue. He looked up at me and nodded once, then swiftly turned around and stopped at the front door.
"Please be safe Bella."
Then he was gone. I crashed to my knees, and told myself not to cry. Why did I have to be so cruel? If he needs some space I have to allow that. He is only doing it for me! I will just have to wait it out until he is ready.
EPOV
Stupid, stupid, stupid! I am strong enough; I think, sometimes I don't feel that I am. I have to go back to her, I have to make sure she knows that I'm coming back. No, she told me to leave. I will come back when she understands. It will be lonely, ever since I came back I have never been away from her for more then a couple of hours. Take it like a man Edward.
When I reached my house I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt like a monster, for once in a different kind of way. I sat down on the piano bench and just let my fingers go. At first it was hostile, fast playing, and then it turned softer as my mood calmed. I kept playing until the sound of my playing became annoying. Before I finished my last piece Alice and Rosalie walked in.
"What happened?"
"None of your business Alice."
"Thanks, but I want to know, not for your sake but for Bella's. You are so hard to read sometimes Edward. You can hear people's thoughts. Bella has no idea what you're thinking, there has to be more communication between the two of you."
"I told her why I needed to leave Alice, I hate to say it but she can't be away from me."
"And you can?"
"No! That's the problem."
"Well all I can tell you is stick it out, and do whatever you have to do as soon as possible."
"Thanks I know."
After the chat with Alice I was at a loss of thoughts. I really have no idea what to do with myself. I was sitting on my leather couch for hours just listening to music, thinking of Bella. I turned to look at the clock; it read 3:47a.m. One final thought of Bella crossed my mind and I shot up and started running through the woods until I reached her house. I am the weakest, most in love vampire out there, I couldn't help it. I very quietly entered her room through her window. The window creaked but I quickly stopped it before I woke her. She was beautiful, her chest slowly rising with each breath. I am glad I came. I felt like I had a year ago when I used to sneak into her room to watch her sleep. It is the ultimate cure for boredom. I sat in my usual spot, in the rocking chair in the corner of her room, and just thought to myself. As I looked around her room I noticed dozens of scrunched tissues surrounding her bed. I felt horrible, once again I have upset her in a way I never thought I would have the strength to.
Was this considered cheating; I felt like I shouldn't be here. I told Bella I needed time away. To me this was time away. I couldn't touch her, I couldn't talk to her, this might be harder then actually not seeing her at all.
"Oh Bella, what you do to me." I whispered to myself.
She turned over and I sighed. Just being in her room, with her scent made everything all better. I stayed until it was time for her to wake up. Charlie was still out of town. Once 9:00 approached I vanished. I went back home as slow as I could. Vampires don't always need speed, and danger. Walking at a semi human rate was nice. I got to look at my surroundings.
Three days have passed, I haven't spoken to Bella. I want to talk to her, hold her, and tell her everything will go back to how it used to be. When I told her a couple of days I really meant a couple of days, maybe four or five. No way can I stretch a whole week without seeing her. If she only knew. Maybe I should actually try to accomplish what I want to achieve. I thought of Bella and what I had done to her. I can accept that it was an accident, I am just grateful that she is alright. I will always have to have my guard up. I did not know that something as simple as a gentle massage could do that to her. I was barely toughing her, barely putting any force. Well massages are out I guess.
It's getting dark…again. When it was dark out that used to mean one thing to me, Bella. Now it meant one more day was over, and it was that much sooner that I can go back to Bella. I do not understand why I am punishing myself? If I feel I am strong enough, then I should go. I got up off of my couch and headed toward the front door quickly.
Once I reached the door and pulled it open I saw the most beautiful thing in the world. I saw Bella slowly making her way toward the front door. The rain had drenched her hair and clothes. I was too distracted in my thoughts to hear her coming. She saw me and her stunning brown eyes opened wide. She ran to me, closing the gap between us. I gladly took her in my arms and cherished the moment.
"Bella…What are you doing here?"
"Edward I'm sorry, I know you said you needed your space but I couldn't handle it anymore." She whispered into my shoulders
"I couldn't handle it either I was coming to get you."
"Oh thank god. I am a clingy fool. You were only away for three days and I couldn't take it, how pathetic."
"Bella…"
I put my hands on the sides of her face and eagerly bent my head down to meet her warm, perfect lips. She grasped my face with a little more forced then needed and willingly kissed me as hard as she wanted. The rain soaked our hair and streamed down our faces as we stood in the rain, making up for lost time. She parted her lips slightly and hungrily kissed me. I found her hand and laced her fingers with mine. She took her other hand and brought it to my face. As the kiss deepened I felt her grip on my hand tighten. Once my lips were released from hers she engulfed my waist and held me in a tight embrace. I kissed her hair and laid my cheek on top of her head, and listened to the sound of the rainfall.
"Bella, let's get you out of this rain."
We were soaked beyond all reason and Bella's nose had a hint of pink, she must be freezing. She still had her arms wrapped around me as we got inside. I reached behind me to untangle her grip. She protested and grabbed my hands instead.
"Bella, we're soaked and you're shaking, I'm sure my cold skin isn't helping either."
"I've felt so lost these past couple of days. Without your presence, your touch, I felt so vacant. Why Edward?"
"Why what Bella?"
"Why did you treat me the way you did?" Her eyes showed no fear.
"Bella…I felt so ashamed, seeing your beautiful body mangled by my touch, I couldn't bare it. I needed the time to fix myself."
"Edward, you're perfect the way you are. No matter what you think or tell yourself I love you for the way you are and nothing will ever change that."
She then grabbed my hand and put it over her thumping heart.
"As long as this is still beating, then we're okay. I will go through anything to be with you Edward."
I brought my hands to the sides of her face and kissed her forehead slowly. She took a deep breath inhaling my scent. I appreciated her willingness to trust me. She has the kindest soul, one I will never want to destroy. Bella brought her hands up and grabbed my wrists and slowly pulled my hands down to my waist. I could feel her tremble under my hands. There was now a pool of water beneath us. I scooped her up in my arms and led her to my bedroom. She fiddled with the collar of my shirt and dragged her fingers across my neck.
My room was just how I had left it, the music was still playing in the background. I didn't give myself much time to turn it off once I made my decision to see Bella. I set Bella down in the middle of the room and retrieved dry clothes for the both of us. Bella was the first one to break the silence.
"So what did you do these past couple of days?" she said as she wringed out her hair.
"I thought of you." I couldn't help but smile, wasn't it obvious.
I handed her one of my button down shirts and a dry towel. Bella started to head to the bathroom, when she turned the aroma of her wet hair sent me into complete bliss. I grabbed her hand and twirled her around.
BPOV
Edward stopped me when I tried to go to the bathroom to change. He grabbed the clothes that I held and started to dry my hair with the towel. He ran the back of his fingers across my cheek. Once my hair was no longer dripping he started to pull my shirt over my head. I blushed at this intimate moment, this time I had no sheets to cover myself with. My shirt was completely off and was discarded to the other side of the room.
"Edward, what are you doing?" I was in complete and utter shock. What about the boundaries?
"Showing you how much I love you, and proving to you how badly I need you."
His hands slowly glided down my stomach. My skin was burning everywhere he touched me He grabbed my face with one hand, and put the other on the small of my back, pulling me in even closer as he kissed me very slowly. I felt like I was in a time capsule, everything moved little by little. His pace made me lose myself; I was losing all control to the point where I could no longer stand. To help myself I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him hold my weight. Edward started to kiss his way down my neck towards my chest. Once he reached the blue lace that was the start of my bra he frowned. His hands slowly traveled the distance of my lower back until he reached the clasp of my undergarment. My body was becoming hot, my cheeks were cherry red with nervousness. I stopped him before my bra could come off.
"Not until our wedding night."
Edward smiled and continued. He replaced my wet clothes with one of his button up shirts. Instantly I was chilled by his touch. Edward is my match, he is everything that I am not. I felt my soaked jeans fall to the ground. Edward lifted one leg at a time to help me out of my jeans. His hands found my thighs and grazed them, over my hips, past my panties until he reached the bottom of my shirt, which he began to button up. After each button was finished he would lightly kiss the spot where the button was. I was trembling with anticipation, my eyes closed to take in all the glory, and then suddenly it was all over.
"Feel better?" was all he said, after that earth shattering moment.
"Well I have got to tell you, I have never taken so long to get dressed." He gave me a crooked smile.
"I couldn't let you stand there wet and shivering."
Edward started to unbutton his shirt in front of me. Which I suppose shouldn't be a big deal, but oh god was it a big deal for me. His hair had dried and made it a mess. I walked towards him and put my hands in his mess of hair, I couldn't help myself. Once his shirt was unbuttoned I pushed it off of his shoulders so I could see the full affect. His perfect muscle tone was taunting me, my hands went immediately to his chest and I started to drag my hands all over him.
"Edward, you're too much for me." I said as I rested my forehead on his chest, breathing in his intoxicating scent.
"Really? I was just thinking that you're my perfect match, you're everything I'm not."
"Are you sure you can't read my mind Edward? That exact thought just crossed my mind."
A/N: Leave me lots of reviews to come back to and tell me if this story is too fluffy, because I LOVE fluff and sometimes I get carried away. Also this is a story in Bella's point of view but I just needed to add Edward's point of view for this chapter because I really thought it was important to show his struggle and Bella would have just been crying, but I am pretty sure there will be no more in Edward's point of view unless enough people liked it.