AN: There is a part here that I was inspired by Peter David's novelization of the IRON MAN film…it has to do with Pepper's reaction to finding Stark alive after Afghanistan, and how she dealt with it. It is not word for word, but it is a paraphrase (whoa, flash to school APA style, baby! Ugh…) But that's it! Just giving credit where it's due…
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Chapter 12: Confessions
Monday afternoon, 1:45pm
The three occupants in the limo sat separately from each other, each finding something to keep themselves occupied while Hogan drove them back to Starks' Mansion in Malibu. The drive was smooth and the interior of the car was quiet, but in Rhodes' opinion, the atmosphere was a bit uncomfortable. He looked up from his phone after checking his email, and surveyed the other passengers. Stark was sitting by himself at the back of the limo—nursing a rocks glass full of some amber liquid of his choice; his expensive dark sunglasses covering his eyes as he stared out the window. Pepper Potts was seated by herself on the long leather cushion that ran down the left side of the limo. She was casually tapping away at her computer in her lap, stopping only so often when the car hit a bump or made a sharp turn. Rhodes sat near the front end of the limo closest to the driver and, unbeknownst to himself, had become the unwitting witness to what he would describe as some sort of a stand-off.
Neither one of them had spoken a word since leaving the press conference twenty minutes ago, and Rhodes was beginning to feel like he was caught in the middle of a lovers' quarrel—Which was impossible because they're not lovers, he clarified to himself.
Every so often, he observed Stark's sunglasses turn in Pepper's direction, seemingly focused on her legs; then, just as she would look up from her work, he would be staring back out the window again. Similarly, when Pepper's fingers did pause their dance over her keyboard, Rhodes would then catch her stealing glances at her boss.
This was ridiculous.
Rhodes cleared his throat. Pepper's attention came up from her computer. Stark continued staring out the window. "So, that went…well. Great job Pepper on that statement. It really…" Rhodes nodding his head excessively, trying to find the right word. "…flowed…" he finished.
"Thanks Rhodey." Pepper smiled. "Great job delivering it." She replied and then turned her attention back to the screen in front of her. The car came to a stop and then slipped seamlessly onto the familiar road that lead up to the house.
Silence enveloped the limo once more.
Stark's mouth twitched. "Hey Rhodes, remember Tahiti two years ago? Those two native chicks?" He asked, his sunglasses now pointed in Rhodey's direction.
Rhodes stared back blankly.
"Huh?"
"Remember how they couldn't keep their hands off of us?" He asked, his voice turning gravely and suggestive.
Rhodes shifted uncomfortably in his seat; his eyes bouncing from Stark to Pepper and back. Pepper seemed unfazed by Stark's sudden need to reminisce. In fact, her face continued to display a neutral expression and, never missing a beat, she continued her marathon of emailing.
Rhodes lowered his head closer to Stark and spoke, "Dude, what the hell you talkin' about?" He said between clenched teeth, his eyes motioning towards the woman sitting across from them.
Stark ignored him. "I'm tellin' ya, I had no idea that a Tahitian massage by two naked women would be so…"
"Tony…" Rhodes warned.
"Erotic." Stark finished, looking quite smug. Rhodes sighed and swallowed hard. He resisted the urge to reach out and smack him, but he kept his eyes focused on the crystal decanter across from him instead.
Pepper continued her work, and although she appeared as a picture of proficiency and composure, neither man knew that her ears were burning.
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Pulling up to the mansion, Tony immediately flew out, not bothering to wait for Hogan to open the door for him. Pepper slid across the seats with ease and graciously accepted Hogan's hand as he helped her from the limo. Rhodes followed, thanked Hogan, and jogged passed Pepper to catch up to Stark.
"What is going on with you, man? You are acting stranger than your usual strange self." Rhodes questioned him. Stark laid his hand across the scanner at the front door and then entered the house.
"I'm fine." He replied flatly, making a beeline for the stairs descending into his workshop.
Pepper entered behind them and quietly shut the door. She made her way over to the bay windows and took a seat on the couch, booting up her computer again.
"Good afternoon Miss Potts. Would you like me to boil some water for tea?" Jarvis asked over the intercom system.
"Yes, thank you so much, Jarvis." She replied kindly.
Rhodes stood in the foyer looking at the staircase leading to the lower level where Stark had disappeared to, and then looked back at Pepper who was carelessly seated on the couch. Her nonchalant attitude and Tony's asinine behavior was beginning to take a toll on his nerves. Cracking his neck, like a boxer ready to go another round, he approached Pepper slowly.
"Maaaaybe, you can tell me what's going on around here??" He asked carefully, taking his time with the question.
Pepper kept her eyes fixated on her computer. "What do you mean? Everything's just as it used to be. Everything's normal I'd say." She replied coolly.
"Huh." He said, clicking his tongue. "Normal…right." He moved around the coffee table and took a seat across from her. Finally, Pepper ceased work and looked Rhodes in the face.
"Why do you ask?"
Rhodes put his feet up on the table and loosened his tie. "Well, I've seen you two mad at each other before, but I've never seen Tony take it so personally." He paused, watching her reaction. She sustained her poised and professional posture, and held his eyes. Rhodes continued, "And you…well, when he usually pisses you off, you'd make Happy take you back to the office where you can work in peace, and out of his warpath." He raised his elbow to sit on the cushion next to his head.
He took a deep breath, then exhaled, leaning his head into his hand. "But here you are." He pointed out.
Pepper blinked. "Here I am." She repeated, still sounding blasé.
They continued looking at each other for a few seconds. Rhodes squinted at her and tipped his head to the side as if he were trying to see her from a different angle. Pepper began tapping the pen in her hand against the keyboard, testing his patience. Rhodes pursed his lips and randomly began thinking how there were moments like this in movies and soap operas where the camera would pan back and forth between the characters, alluding to a shocking revelation.
…but Pepper offered none. Perhaps she didn't watch the same movies as Rhodey did.
Unwilling to walk away without some sort of explanation or at least making a valid point that she and Tony were acting like total fools, he decided to change tactics. Straightening up in his seat and pulling his feet back down in front of him; he clasped his hands together and leaned over the table. Pepper watched him with the same curiosity as a child would watch a parent.
Rhodes took a deep breath. "You know, I wasn't gonna mention this at all…in fact, Tony'd probably string me up by my thumbs if he knew I said anything, but I think you should hear it."
Pepper's body leaned forward slightly, her interest peaked. "Ok…" she replied, sounding apprehensive.
"After we found him in the desert, and when we were on our way back home…do you know what he asked me on the plane before we landed?"
Pepper looked stunned for a moment, unprepared for such a question. Then she thought about it for a second, considering the question and whether or not Rhodes was being serious or if he were leading her into a joke. But she decided to play along anyways, "What?" She asked.
He wove his fingers together and placed them in his lap as he leaned back. "He asked me if whether or not you'd be there when we landed." He sat up again, "Truthfully," Rhodes revealed, "he asked me three times if you'd be there. Then he got all sanctimonious and asked if I'd seen you crying or upset." Rhodes shrugged his shoulders. "I just figured he was playing the smug jackass card of his…thinkin' you were some kind of wreck while he was gone." He laughed at the thought playfully, thinking Pepper would do the same.
But as he looked back up at the woman across from him, her face looked stricken; as if she had just seen a ghost.
Rhodey's smile faded. "Pepper?" He questioned, concerned.
Of course she hadn't been a wreck. Not once did she allow herself to cave in to the tirade of emotions that bombarded her every day for the three months he was missing and presumed dead. It was her duty to keep things running smoothly until his return; until Rhodes brought him home.
Except, there was that one time…
At the news of Stark's rescue, she was immediately whisked away to Edward's Air Force Base, asked to receive him and bring him to the nearest hospital. During the limo ride to the Base, she had finally given in to the wave of relief that had washed over her. The sadness, the fear, the anger, and the joy all associated with the capture and recovery of her long-lost boss had sent her over the edge and she cried; uncontrollable sobs wracking her body. Hogan had allowed her this one moment of weakness and never said a word…just offered her as many tissues as she needed to regain her composure once they arrived on the tarmac.
"Hey…" Rhodes said gently, breaking her out of her trance.
She looked down for a moment, and then back up again. "Wha…what did you tell him?" She asked softly after finally finding her voice.
Rhodes shrugged his shoulders again. "I just told him that yeah…you'd be there to meet us." He answered, and then added more boisterously, "And that, hell no you weren't cryin'. And the only thing you were upset about was us not findin' him sooner!" He said, the corner of his mouth pulled up into a reassuring smile.
Pepper returned his smile and set her laptop down on the couch next to her. She placed her hands back in her lap and spoke, "You know," She said, "even after all these years…putting up with his antics and frustrations, his irresponsible behavior, the women, his recklessness…" She paused, taking a breath, "I still enjoy coming to work every day. I truly love my job." There was a clarity in her voice that surprised him; it gave him pause…made him reevaluate what was really going on between the woman across from and the man in the basement below.
Rhodes nodded his understanding. "Tony is one lucky bastard to have you. I hope you know that." He grinned. Pepper blushed slightly and shook her head, smiling her thanks.
He then tapped his fist onto the cushion next to him and made a move to stand. "Well, I better head out." He stood up suddenly, Pepper following suit.
"So soon?"
"Yeah, well…I still have some reports to go over and a training exercise for our crew tomorrow." He pointed a finger at her. "You just make sure that boss of yours is ready to go by Friday!" He said firmly.
Pepper nodded curtly. "Don't you worry about him…I'll keep him focused."
Rhodes headed for the front door, shouting over his shoulder, "You always do." He exited, shutting the door behind him.
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Six hours later
Pepper's neck ached. She reached her right hand up to massage the sore muscles that had begun to cramp, and glanced at the clock, 7:45pm. She gasped, shocked at how late it had gotten. As if realizing she was taking a break from her work, her stomach growled something fierce, and her hand flew down to her abdomen.
Pepper frowned. Tony had been in his workshop the entire time she had been working in the home office. She was sure he had not taken a break either and was probably just as hungry as she was. She carefully stood from her desk, tenderly stretching her aching back muscles, then slipped on her shoes and headed towards the kitchen.
Minutes later, after she had made and eaten her own food, she had two more large turkey sandwiches made, some cut up fruit, and a side of potato salad set on a large platter ready to be taken down to the workshop. Cautiously descending the stairs, she carefully balanced the tray on one hand, and placed the other onto the scanner. A soft beep emanated from the machine and the doors slid open. To her surprise, the music was at a normal decibel level, and there was no scent of anything burning in the air.
"Mr. Stark?" She question aloud, placing the tray on the workspace with the least clutter. Moving around the room, she gave the expansive area the once over and concluded that Stark was nowhere to be found. Placing her hands on her hips, she sighed in frustration.
"Jarvis, what is Mr. Stark's location?" She asked, aggravated.
"Mr. Stark is currently in the workshop." Jarvis replied.
Pepper's brow furrowed. In the workshop? But where?
And then, as if she had asked the question out loud, Stark rolled out from under the hotrod and came to a stop directly in front of her. His sudden appearance made her stumble, and she teetered on her heels and nearly fell backwards, but quick hands caught her wrists and steadied her.
"Jesus--!" She said through clenched teeth. Her chest heaved slightly as the fright of falling dissipated.
"Sorry." He apologized. Then, acting as if nothing had happened, he let go of her hands and stood up, walking around to the other side of the hotrod. Paying no attention to the astonished look on her face, he proceeded to yank off a piece of the engine and held it up in the air for inspection.
Pepper regained her composure and licked her suddenly dry lips. "Um…I brought you some food." She gestured to the tray, and shrugged, "It's not the greatest dinner in the world, but I figured it would do, considering you've been down here all day…" Her sentence trailed off and she looked back over at him. He was now standing at the front end, screwing a different piece of the engine into place.
"Uh huh." He grumbled, not looking up.
Pepper bit her lip, feeling a bit uneasy at the way he was acting. "Rhodey called about an hour ago. He wanted to make sure you were still on for tomorrow's task force briefing." She paused, "What should I tell him?" she asked, leaving the question open.
Flipping another metallic engine part over in his hands, he blew away a bit of grime, then replaced it. Pepper shifted her weight onto her other leg, waiting. He continued to focus on the car, ignoring her question.
"Tony?" she asked impatiently. When he didn't answer her again, and instead leaned over the edge of the car, she took matters into her own hands. Walking around behind him she blocked his path when he resurfaced from the engine and turned.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" she blurted, crossing her arms in front of her.
Tony's eyebrows shot up. "What?" he asked innocently. She was standing so close to him, he had to lean back on the car to see he face clearly.
"What do you mean, 'what'? You've been ignoring me all day, and when you do speak, it's either a grunt or something incoherent. Why are you acting like this? Is there something I should know?" Her voice was steady and serious as she questioned him, her gaze was firm.
Tony looked from her face back down to the screwdriver in his hand. He felt the urge to say something smart, but by the look on her face, it was probably not the greatest idea. Instead, he found himself at a loss for words—something extremely rare in the case of Tony Stark. He felt his mouth open and close, and Pepper hunched down, trying to get him to look at her.
"Well…?" She asked, and almost began tapping her foot. His face came up, and the look in his eyes made Pepper draw back.
Was that…guilt she saw there? Realizing she was invading his space, she took a step back, but still awaited his explanation.
"So, I'm pretty much an ass." He finally spoke, sounding flippant.
Pepper nodded her agreement. "Yes."
Tony smiled, then realizing this was a serious argument, he cleared his throat and removed it.
"I'm sorry I've been ignoring you?" He said, hoping that would be enough.
"Was that a question, or an actual apology?" she huffed. He shrugged his shoulders.
Pepper still didn't move. Tony was beginning to feel like he was a child getting disciplined by a parent. He didn't like being treated like a child. Tossing the screwdriver onto the front seat, he pushed himself up from the hotrod and in turn, invaded her space. He waved a finger at her, squinting suspiciously as if he'd just had an epiphany.
"I'm on to you." He said, inching closer. The tone of his voice turned from apologetic to devious. Pepper watched him change his strategy and was not about to get pulled into this game of his. After all these years of watching him alter conversations to his own benefit and even falling victim to it from time to time—she was now an expert at spotting his strategy and had moves of her own to counter it.
"Oh?" She responded, unfazed by his actions.
Tony started to circle around her; a cat toying with a mouse. "You come down here all mad at me because of something I may or may not have done, just to see if I would act like a jerk in your presence…Something that's expected of me, Tony Stark—the guy who always has some smart-ass remark." He passed behind her and stared at the back of her neck. Her hair was pulled up giving him a clear view of a trail of freckles that dotted her fair skin. He grinned to himself and had to resist an overwhelming urge to reach out and touch them. He kept walking.
"Then, when I do say something...witty--"
"Offensive." Pepper corrected.
Tony creased his brow. "Sharp," he offered, "I get told how I'm behaving like a pig." He finished.
Pepper was confused now. She didn't expect this explanation, but she kept silent, allowing him to continue. His circling came to a stop on her left, next to the tray of food. She turned her head to watch him.
"But I'm not. Gonna. Say. A. Thing." he paused, then added, "I've changed." He picked up a grape.
Pepper let out the breath she had been holding. "Really?" she asked unbelievingly.
He popped the piece of fruit into his mouth. "Yep."
Pepper wasn't convinced. "So…the sulking in the car, the mentioning of your Tahitian getaway, and brushing off Rhodey…all that was a part of the new Tony Stark?"
Stark swallowed, he'd forgotten about all that already. So much for trying to make a point, he thought. "Yeah." He choked.
Thrown back into speechlessness, he averted his eyes from hers and pushed around another grape on the plate in front of him.
Pepper shook her head, disappointed. "As much as I want to believe that you've changed, Mr. Stark, you constantly remind that you haven't." She said seriously. A sadness in her voice tugged at his heart, and he felt panicked when she turned to leave.
This was no time to be proud or arrogant, he admonished himself. He knew that if she walked out that door right now, he would have effectively pushed her away for good. And that terrified him more than anything in the world—including upholding the idea that he was unbreakable.
He needed to stop her, so he blurted the first truthful thing he could think of.
"I was jealous." He called after her, praying she would stop.
When she did, he felt relief wash over him. And then another kind of fear when he realized he had to explain himself. She kept her back to him, his words shocking her into a stunned silence, she found herself unable to move.
"I didn't like seeing you with that guy." He revealed, still standing in the same place, afraid to move. "I didn't like that he bought you your drinks; your dinner." He continued, unable to stop himself. He stared at her back, willing her to turn around; but she didn't.
As if they had a mind of their own, his legs began walking him to where she stood. As Pepper listened intently, her heart began to pound. She could almost feel his eyes on her as she heard him begin walking towards her. Her arms hung limply at her sides, and she tried desperately to force her legs into motion; to escape his impending approach; but she stood still, paralyzed from moving.
He kept talking, "I was jealous that at the end of the night, after you'd told him your whole life story, he'd walk you to your door…" he spoke softly, not wanting to scare her away.
"Tony…" She breathed, her mind swimming. His voice was getting nearer and she felt her chest constrict as if it were getting harder for her lungs to take in air.
He was close now. Close enough that he only needed to whisper for her to hear him. She wondered vaguely if this is what it felt like for all of those women in the past, to be seduced by Tony Stark. The anticipation of him drawing nearer made her body ache; heat crept up her legs, through her arms and chest, and pooled in her belly.
Her eyes slipped shut, pushing the thoughts away, but still hearing his words, "Then you'd get all nervous and begin twisting a piece of your hair between two fingers…" A picture of her doing just that on a moonlit rooftop made him smile. "And just as he was about to kiss you goodnight…" He reached out, knowing that if he could just touch her, she'd melt into his arms right then and there.
But just as his hand came close enough, she turned, his fingers just missing her.
She started at seeing him standing so close, and blinked a few times. Her cheeks were flushed and her mouth were parted as if the words she were about to say had just evaporated from her lips. Tony thought she never looked lovelier.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she blinked one last time, clearing her mind. "You…" She started, but lost her train of thought. She began again, "…maybe you have changed." She said simply, and then rewarded him with a sweet smile.
He smiled back as well, although, not quite as big. He didn't know how she'd react to his confession, and in the back of his mind he knew she wouldn't respond in the way he had truly hoped for…but he smiled nonetheless, a bit disappointed, but appreciative of her reply.
Tony cleared his throat and stepped back, his hands falling down to his sides. "Thanks for the food…I was pretty hungry." He said, falling back into his casual self. He walked himself back to the tray and picked up half of the sandwich, taking a bite.
"You're welcome." She replied, pushing away the butterflies that had implanted themselves in her stomach. "I, uh…I'll tell Rhodey you will be there at 10:15 tomorrow for the briefing." She too fell back into her usual work routine.
"Great." He mumbled, his mouth now full of potato salad.
Feeling the need for some fresh air, Pepper began heading for the staircase. Tony watched her go, grateful she was no longer mad at him—And relieved at having a little space after such an intense discussion. She stopped briefly as she reached the doors.
She looked back one last time, "Thank you for being honest with me." Her voice hummed as if it were music to his ears.
He nodded. "Of course, Pepper. As only you deserve."
She left, leaving him alone to finish his food.
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I am diligently working to complete the next few chapters—but I am finding them harder to write because I don't want to just spit them out…they are the climax—no pun intended—wink--of the story, and need to do justice to our characters. So updates may take a little longer…but they will come….keep reading, commenting…thank you!