'I'm back!' – cried Yaya, then Nagihiko saw her expression change. 'Is Amu ok?'
'Oh, I guess the surprise was a little too much for her… And … has she had anything to eat today?'
'I don't know… You see, she's been missing Ikuto so much… I've done my best to humour her, but still… I hope she'll be all right! Let's take her to my place and have her rest a little before the others come – it's too late to postpone everything.'
'She should have a little fun, all right. And as long as you're in charge… But tell me, Yaya – isn't this supposed to be a girls' party?'
'Of course.'
'The others don't know me. Wouldn't they feel funny to have a man among them?'
'What do you mean? Do you want to come as Nadeshiko, after all?'
'Maybe. Or maybe I shouldn't come at all. '
'Oh, I won't have that! What's wrong?'
'Nothing.'
'Come on! To me, you're one of the girls. We'll explain and…'
'Wait! Yaya, he's right: you should have done that earlier… ' – whispered Amu. ' The girls will make him feel awkward. '
'No! We'll have fun, you'll see… Just relax a little, you two! I would have expected you to worry about… everything, Amu…, but you, Nagihiko?! Come on, we'll joke a little and … everyone will love you! I promise! There's no way they won't just adore you!'
'Yes…' – sighed Amu – 'one can't help loving him…'
'OK then – I'll go' – said Nagihiko, taking the clothes Yaya had brought him – he passed behind the curtain to get dressed, while Yaya was wondering about Amu's strange weakness.
'Amu, sweetie, what's going on? Are you sick or something? Or… are you pregnant?!'
'What?! No way! Ikuto and I have never… '
'All right, all right… Then … what is it?'
'Oh… I haven't slept well… I must be tired. And I guess… I worry too much about the wedding… I must confess I've had this feeling… that things won't go as… as planned.'
'They never do. But that doesn't mean that it will end up in a mess or something, does it? I'm sure you'll be happy! You deserve it!'
'Thank you, Yaya… '
Nagihiko re-appeared. He was terribly handsome – and it was funny Yaya didn't seem to realize that and just kept seeing him as their old girlfriend.
They took Amu to Yaya's and put her to bed, while they were laying the dinner table.
Yaya asked Nagishiko to take Amu home after the party. It was obvious she was not herself and they were afraid she might faint in the street.
'You didn't really mean what you said before, did you? I guess it must have been because of all the tension… Silly me, telling you how I feel… ' – he said.
'You must be right… about the tension. And yet… I meant it. As crazy at it sounds, I did. I do love Ikuto, but… You make me feel… dizzy. It's so strange… I'm surprisingly weak. The funny thing is… it was I who wanted to wait. I kept telling Ikuto to have a little patience… I dreamt of making love to him, though I didn't really know what it would be like. But when I saw you… something happened. Inside me. Your smell… and your warmth… I know this is not how it was supposed to be, but I can't help it.'
She paused for a while, then she followed, ' You know, as I was lying in Yaya's bed earlier, I tried to focus on Ikuto, to think only of my feelings for him. And I realized that… I can't really believe I'm going to marry him. There has always been an aura of mystery about him that I liked. We don't talk much – more like… trying to figure out each other's thoughts and feelings on our own. I've always dreamt of him as some kind of… secret lover. There was a thrill of passion in our relationship. Now I'll have time to know him better, we'll get more… used to each other. Yes, I thought I wanted to know him better, but… won't that spoil everything? Won't that thrill disappear when we are married?'
'It's always like that, Amu. The thrill may disappear, but if you really love each other… '
'I'm crazy about him, but I see him as … an ideal lover, a secret of mine. While you… you, Nagihiko… You are so different… I mean… You know how I feel, you know how I think – I feel I can tell you … anything! You give me peace – and fun – and understanding. And warmth. I can imagine living with you every day. And I can't imagine living with him. Not really. To me you are a figure of light – he is a figure of darkness. Darkness can be very appealing, but not for a lifetime.'
'Don't say that, Amu. He is a good man. As fine as it gets.'
'Yes, I know he is. But there are times when I can still feel the burden of the shadows of the past upon him.'
'It's natural that should happen. It happens to all of us. You can't blame him for it.'
'I don't blame him. I'm just trying to explain – to myself – why I'm having these new feelings for you! It's like… He's the dream… and you are real. '
'He's real, too. You should talk to him when he comes back. Don't tell him about me – but show him your doubts!'
'I'll try. But won't that upset him?'
'Don't behave like a spoiled child! It would be worse if he came to feel there was something wrong and you wouldn't tell him what it was!'
'There's more to it, I'm afraid.'
'What?'
'You've become terribly attractive. And I'm so… drawn to you! I couldn't possibly tell him that!'