A/N:
This is the only chapter that's set entirely in Princeton… after this they're set mainly in Cardiff. Apologies to Torchwood fans...
If anyone who isn't familiar with House feels like they want more backstory, Wikipedia has an excellent article on House and the characters... not necessary of course. After this chapter it's pretty much all Torchwood.
Thanks to those who have reviewed added this to their fave/update lists. I'd keep writing even if no one did because I'm enjoying this one… but you know, if you like it you can feel free to let me know… ;-)
Re: Amber:
I lied. Not on purpose ;-) I've mulled it over. I like Amber and I seriously think the writers made a mistake in killing her off. The House/Wilson/Amber dynamic is entirely too much fun to lose, so by whatever medical miracle necessary, Amber is still with us, even though she's only a very minor player in this piece.
Re: Liz:
Dr. Elizabeth Shaw is a former companion of the Doctor's. I figured that while Jack was searching for the "right" Doctor, he may have come across the "wrong" one and met some of the Time Lord's former companions. I brought Liz into my fic A New Day when Jack needed someone with a scientific background but wasn't ready to hire someone one permanently. She's been hanging around until he was ready to hire someone. Sorry for the confusion.
Chapter Two: With or Without You
Princeton, New Jersey (USA):
Allison Cameron opened her door and nearly tripped over the man sitting with his legs stretched out across her front porch. "Robert?" She blinked at him. "It's five o'clock in the morning. What are you doing here?"
"I needed to see you."
As soon as he spoke she smelled the beer on his breath. "Are you drunk?"
He laughed lightly and shook his head. "No. I've had a beer… Well… three, actually. All night. But I'm not drunk."
Looking at him sitting there with his shirt half out of his jeans, it was hard to believe he'd only had three beers. She knelt down to have a better look at him, anger giving way to concern when she saw the dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. "Are you all right?"
"Who knows? We need to talk."
She glanced at her watch again. If she left right now, she could blame being late on traffic. "Can't this wait until later? My shift starts in twenty minutes."
"Trust me, being late for work isn't the end of the world."
She frowned at the odd smile that played across his lips when he said that. "Have you slept?" she asked.
"Not recently."
She stood, hauling him to his feet with her. "All right. One cup of coffee and then I have to go. You make it while I call in and let Lindsey know I'll running late."
Robert followed her into the kitchen and watched her dial the phone while he got the coffee and filters out of the cupboard. He'd spent enough time at her place to know his way around her kitchen; he even had a toothbrush in her bathroom. She knew her way around his home just as well and had her own toothbrush and some make up there, as well. It occurred to him that they'd never discussed living together.
"Hey, Allison…" he ignored the angry look she gave him; she was still talking on the phone. "What do you think about the idea of us moving in together?"
She shot him another glare as she finished up her call. The receiver was barley back on the hook before she turned and asked him if he'd lost his mind.
"That's up for debate," he poured the water through the top of the coffee machine. As dark brown liquid began filling the pot, Robert helped himself to a bagel from the fridge. "Hungry?" he offered.
"I've eaten, thanks," her tone was cold. She leaned back against the counter and folded her arms across her chest, still scowling while he ate.
"What?" he finally asked.
"I was on the phone with work! Somebody could have heard you."
"It's not like the whole hospital doesn't know we're seeing each other." He took another bite of bagel, helped himself to some orange juice and then got a couple of cups down from the cupboard. "What's the big deal if someone hears my voice over the phone?"
"It's a big deal to me."
He poured their coffee without apologizing. He fixed both cups and handed hers over. "Have you ever thought about us living together?" he repeated, as he leant up against the counter opposite her.
"I suppose… sometimes. Why?"
"Just a thought, I guess."
"Robert, what's going on?"
"Lots of things and I promise I'll tell you every last one of them. But first I need to talk to you about something serious. Really serious."
She took a deep breath and let it out, looking as if she was afraid of where this conversation was going.
He wasn't surprised; he wasn't even surprised that he'd never brought up the subject of moving in together before, even if he wished now that he would have. It might be easier to have this conversation if she already knew how much he really loved her. "I umm… I got an offer for a new job yesterday," he began tentatively.
She frowned, "When did you start looking for a new job?"
"I didn't. It came looking for me. I'd like you to come with me."
"What?" she snapped, glaring at him as if he really had lost his mind. "I have a job, Robert," she reminded him. "I like my job."
"I know."
She shook her head and looked down into her coffee again, seemingly lost in thought for a very long moment. "Where?" she finally asked.
"Cardiff."
"Where?"
"Cardiff, Wales," he clarified.
"As in England?"
"United Kingdom, technically, but close enough," he shrugged his shoulders.
"You can't possibly be serious."
"Why not?"
"For one thing, I won't be able to practice medicine there… "
"That can be worked out." He set his cup down and crossed the distance between them, resting his hands lightly on her arms before continuing, "All I'm asking you to do is think about it, Allison."
"There's nothing to think about. I love my job. I don't want to move. I don't want to move toWales. I don't want to move anywhere. And I certainly don't want to follow somebody to a strange country. Why would you even ask me something like that?"
"Do you love me?" he countered.
She pulled away from him, "That's not fair."
"Why not?"
Without answering, she went over to the kitchen window and stared out at the pre-dawn gloom. He followed, but kept his hands in his pockets.
"It's simple question, you know," he said after a moment of staring out at the city.
Allison looked up at his reflection in the glass, "No. It isn't."
"There are only two possible answers, here: either yes you do or no you don't. It's pretty straight forward."
"Love is anything but simple and straight forward."
"Not from where I'm standing."
She blinked up at him, waiting for him to continue.
"If you do love me and you won't go with me, then I have to turn it down," he explained, stepping closer, "But if you don't love me, I guess I have nothing keeping me here." He shrugged. "Simple."
She swallowed back the lump in her throat and took a long moment to study his reflection in the glass. "Are you serious?"
His lips twitched upwards into a wry half-smile, "As serious as an industrial accident."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means we both know there as no accident. But I can't tell you what it was if you don't at least come with me for a couple of days. Just…just check the place out before you decide."
"That's sounding an awful lot like blackmail."
"Not really. Well… maybe a little bit," he couldn't help but grin. "But all I'm asking you for is a couple of days. You could think of it as a holiday if you want."
"Not that I'm considering saying yes," she met his gaze in the window, "But when?"
"A couple of days."
Allison turned to face him, "You mean in a couple of days? Robert, there is no way I can drop everything and leave like that. I can't believe you would either."
"I have to be there as soon as possible."
"Why?" she demanded.
"The position's already been vacant for too long. They can't hold it open for me if I'm not going to take it." He stepped closer and took her hands in his. "I love you. I know I never said it before now and I probably should have, but I do love you." He gave her a questioning look. She had yet to say whether or not she loved him.
"What… what exactly would I be doing if I decided to come with you?"
"I spoke to the guy in charge when I got the letter; if you come with me, he'll make room on his team for you. Allison, this it isn't like any other job you've ever thought about taking," he held her hands tight a moment before continuing. "You've always said that you got into medicine to help people. This is a chance to do that in ways you can't imagine. It's big. Bigger than anything you've ever considered."
She didn't think she'd ever heard him sounding so convinced of anything. "What is it?"
"It's better for you to see it for yourself."
"You mean run off to Wales with you?"
"Just for a couple of days," he repeated. "You can always come back."
"You've already made up your mind about this, haven't you?"
"I promised I'd call back today with an answer. But yeah. I spent the whole night just walking, thinking..."
"And drinking beer, apparently," she commented dryly.
He gave her half a smile, "I only had one at my apartment and another two at a bar. The rest of the time I was just thinking. I want you to come with me. But if you don't love me, if you don't see your future with me the same way I see mine with you, then there's no reason for me to stay here."
"You can't spring something this on me and honestly expect me to make a decision without some time to think it about it. You've had a whole night, can I at least have a day?" she asked. He remained silent, but nodded, indicating that he understood her need to think it over. "When are they expecting your call?"
"Anytime today."
She gazed down at his hands holding hers for a long while before asking if he'd really meant it when he said he loved her.
"Yes. Allison," Robert freed one of his hands so he could tilt her face up towards his again. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Do…do you think we could maybe just take this one step at a time?" she asked nervously.
"All right." The clock in the hall chimed, reminding them of the time. "I've gotta go home and shower, my shift starts in a few hours."
"You can't go into work like this."
"I'll be fine," he assured her.
"Why don't you take a nap here? You can toss your shirt in the washing machine and take a shower."
"Thanks," he leant in to kiss her but Allison didn't meet him half way the way she usually did. She did return the kiss, though, sliding her hands gingerly around his waist, giving him some hope that she would at least consider his invitation.
…………………………………………………….
Allison felt like she was in a fog the whole drive in to work. Cardiff? Wales? Robert had to be kidding. He couldn't possibly expect her to pack up her whole life and move to some strange country on a moment's notice. They'd never even discussed moving in together.
They'd never discussed love, either. They were just dating.
Allison was so absorbed in thought, she missed her turn-off. Muttering under her breath, she took the first turn-around and drove back to the hospital.
She took the first parking place she saw and headed straight into the building. It was a relief to be surrounded by familiar fluorescent lights and the antiseptic smell. She didn't even bother going to her locker, she wanted to get right to work.
"Perfect timing," Lindsey greeted as she came onto the floor. "We just got a call about an eight car pile up on 206. Busses'll be here any minute. Six critical."
Allison took a deep breath and nodded, mentally bracing herself for the onslaught. She knew she should feel guilty, but she was glad she wouldn't have time to think about Robert or Cardiff for a while. She wasn't ready to make that kind of decision.
………………………………………………………..
Robert walked out of Lisa Cuddy's office feeling both relieved and anxious.
He'd put off talking to her as long as possible, so it was a relief to have finally gotten it over. But it felt so much more real now that he'd tendered his resignation. He was really leaving. He was really taking a job with Torchwood. He'd always thought the saying about how today being the first day of the rest of one's life was a terrible cliché, but that's what it felt like. He found himself smiling the rest of the day, even as he slogged through the last of his paperwork.
At the end of his shift, he told the head of the surgical team that he'd resigned. He felt Dr. Simpson had the right to hear it form him personally. Simpson didn't take his leaving as gracefully as Cuddy, but it didn't matter, as of six P.M., Robert Chase was no longer an employee of the Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. All that was left was to clear out his locker and go home.
Foreman caught him in the locker room. "So is it true?"
"Hello, Foreman, nice to see you too. My day, it's going great, thanks for asking," he replied in an uncharacteristically sarcastic tone.
Eric Foreman gave him one of those looks, his head tilted to one side, lips pursed, and his arms folded over his chest. He huffed out an exasperated sigh before speaking. "Fine. How's your day?"
Robert grinned, "Great, thanks for asking. How about yours?"
"Are you really quitting?" he repeated the question.
"Not quitting. Quit. I talked to Cuddy this afternoon. House must be losing his touch if he's only just now sending you to find out if it's true."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Come off it," Robert scoffed. "We both know House sent to find out whether or not I'd really quit. If he wants to know more, he can come and ask me himself."
"When did you start looking for a new job?"
"I didn't. Something that I'd applied for a few years ago opened up."
"And they wouldn't even give you time to give notice?" he asked in an incredulous tone.
Robert shrugged and took the last item out of his locker. He closed the locker door for what he realized was the last time and turned to face the other man. "Sometimes it just works out that way, I guess."
"When are you leaving?"
"Like I said, if House has any more questions, he can come and ask me for himself." He shouldered his duffle bag and headed for the locker room door.
"Hey," Foreman followed him out into the corridor, "I'm not here asking for House."
"Yes you are. As much as you like to pretend that you're equals, he's still your boss. And he's still House. But contrary to his own belief, he's not the centre of the universe."
The other doctor continued to scowl at him. "You've been acting strange since last week. What's going on?"
"I guess I just found out what I was made of," Robert confided with a tight little smile.
When the gas had first starting streaming out of cars, when people started panicking and whispering words like terrorist attack, his gut had told him it was something more. Then when he got the page from UNIT and felt sheer panic at realizing not only was it alien, but it was a world-wide assault… he didn't know how he'd gotten through it, but he had. Ever since then he'd started seeing the world and his place in it differently. He didn't look forward to more aliens, more attacks, but the idea of being part of something bigger than he was snapped things into prospective.
"Is it connected?" Foreman asked him then.
"Hmmm?" Robert blinked, refocusing his thoughts on the man walking next to him. "Is what connected?"
"What happened the other week and you leaving like this."
"Indirectly, I suppose. Jack probably wouldn't have even remembered my name if I weren't on that list." Robert stopped and dug the letter out of his bag, the formal one, and showed it to Foreman the same way he'd shown it to Cuddy earlier.
Foreman's reaction was almost the same as hers had been. "Torchwood Institute? Never heard of it."
"No reason you would have."
"Military?"
He almost laughed, "Not hardly. Jack's retired Air Force, though," he added. "He still likes to go by 'Captain.'"
"What about Cameron?"
"I dunno, you'll have to ask her." He couldn't help but smile. They hadn't talked about it when they met for lunch, but he was sure that she would come to Cardiff with him for a couple of days. He knew once she met Jack and saw what Torchwood did, she'd stay.
"This isn't much of an offer of employment," he said handing the letter back. "It doesn't even say what the pay is. Are you sure you don't want to think about this a little more?"
"You sound just like Cuddy. She told me to take some vacation time and check it out before making up my mind. I told her that would be unfair because I know I'm not coming back."
"When are you leaving?"
"Wednesday."
"That's in two days… "
"Which means I have a lot to do. See you 'round, Eric," he shot Foreman a parting grin and headed down the corridor.
He'd almost made it all the way out of the hospital building when he heard a familiar voice calling, "Hey!"
Robert turned, "Hey, Dr. Wilson."
"You're leaving?" was the first thing Wilson said when he caught up with him at the door.
Robert groaned, "Not you too."
"But it's true, you're really leaving? House wasn't just having one over on me?"
He chuckled, shaking his head, "No, he's not having one over on you. I'm really leaving."
"Why?"
"Something better came up."
"Wow. Well, congratulations," Wilson extended his hand.
"Thank you, Dr. Wilson," Robert accepted. "Oh and ah, don't let anyone plan a going away party or anything if you can help it. I'll be on a plane in a couple of days anyway."
"You're asking me to control House? Have you forgotten what he's like?"
"Right. Well… I'm out of here in just a couple of days so… "
"Is Cameron going with you?"
Coming from anyone else, Robert would have suspected it was still House asking the questions. But somehow Dr. Wilson had always seemed to be able to maintain independent thought, even with a guy like House as a best friend.
"I hope so," he answered the question honestly. "Otherwise I'm going to have to return the ring I bought this morning."
Wilson blinked unable to mask his surprise at the sudden announcement.
"I'm going to wait until we get to Cardiff to ask her."
"Wow. Again. And congratulations again."
"Just don't tell House," he said. "I already know you tell Amber everything."
Wilson just chuckled and wished him well.
………………………..…………………
It was late when Robert arrived at Allison's apartment with her favourite Chinese takeaway and a movie rental. He let himself in and found her in the darkened living room, a glass of wine in hand. The bottle sat open and half empty on the coffee table in front of her. "Allison?"
She didn't respond or even look up. He set down the cartons down next to the wine bottle.
"Allison? Are you ok?" he sat down next to her.
She drained the glass and refilled it before meeting his gaze. "I wasn't going to tell you this tonight, but first Foreman… then Wilson…"
He felt a flutter of panic in his chest, "What did Wilson tell you?"
"Just that he hoped I'd enjoy Cardiff."
Robert let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He was grateful the only person Wilson would have told about the ring was Amber and she wouldn't tell House or his team out of pure spite.
"I hope you like Cardiff, too," he reached for her free hand, but she pulled away. "Allison…"
"I'm not going."
For several long moments he couldn't speak. He couldn't think. All he could hear was the rush of blood in his ears, like cold water crashing down around him, drowning out every other sound in the room. "W-what?" he finally stammered.
"I'm not going and you had no right to tell anyone that I was."
"But I didn't! Allison, all I said was that Foreman would have to ask you himself… "
"You might as well have said that I was going with you! Even Cuddy pulled me aside to ask me if she needed to find someone to fill my job, too," she took a big gulp of wine.
"You know I would never speak for you…"
"It doesn't matter," she refilled her glass again. "Foreman and Wilson aren't the reason I'm not going with you. I…I don't love you, Robert."
"Allison…please…"
"Here," she cut him off, nodded to a laundry basket sitting next to the sofa. "This is all the stuff you've managed to leave here over the last eight months. I thought you might want it back before you left."
"I don't understand…" he felt like a helpless spectator watching the world fall apart, but unable to stop it. "I love you. I…I want to spend the rest of my life with you…"
"I know you do. But I don't."
"Why not?"
"Do I really have to have a reason?" she snapped.
"Yes!"
"Well I don't. I'm sorry. Please just… just go."
"I…"
"Just go," she repeated.
Ignoring the knot in the pit of his stomach, he looked at the basket; their entire relationship, summed up in one fucking laundry basket. "I… here," he stood up and fished his key ring out of his pocket. He handed her back the key to her apartment. "You can keep mine," he added, picking it off the top of the basket of his things. "You'll need it to get in. I'm…I'll be on a plane in the morning…"
"Robert…"
"I told you. There was only one thing that could have made me stay. Without…" he took a breath to steady himself, "Without it, there's no point hanging around, is there? Feel free to pick up your things from my place whenever's convenient."
She took the key from his outstretched hand without meeting his gaze. "Thanks."
"Yeah. You're welcome." The numbness necessary to get through the next few hours overtook his senses, blinding him to the tears welling up behind her eyes. "Well… I guess this is good-bye..."
"Wait…"
"No," his voice became suddenly cold. "Don't say anything more." He didn't want to hear that she was sorry or for her to say good bye or even that he should have a nice life. He just wanted to get out of there while he still could because he knew that any second now he was break down and he didn't want to do that in front of her. He picked up the basket and stalked out of her apartment.
…………………………….………………..
Allison sagged against the sofa, listening to his retreating footsteps. She waited until she heard his car roar to life and peel away from the curb before letting the tears she'd been holding back fall free.
I love you too, Robert, just not enough to pack up my whole life and follow you half way around the world… I wish I could…
"But I'm afraid to love anybody that much ever again," she drained her glass and went into the kitchen to get a fresh bottle.