Please, guys, I love reviews, so can you do them? Anyway, now let's get back to Apoc's POV
CHAPTER 4: MY CHANGE OF LIFE STYLE!
Yawn.
Not the best as first thought, but it's a thought, at least. Where am I? As much I can see, I am sat on a chair. I don't remember anything, God! Side effect after I wake up from a terrible day. I despise when it happens.
"Hi, dude!"
I shriek like a little girl when I hear form nowhere a computer-like voice.
"Who is talking? Where am I?", I say.
"Do you really not remember anything, dude?"
"Just a moment, please, I'm finally reminding something. Oh, yeah! The invasion! Me getting fired! The death of Mr. Kaldrenkrops! The hideous queen! Samus beating it around to death… my getting kidnapped (willingly) and… a voice of an angel. Yeah, now I remember everything. You talked to me yesterday! I'm Apoc, formerly Apoc Smith, but the surname was made up. Your name?"
"I am Adam Malkovich, dude!", the computer answers, "Samus second in command".
"Oh, yeah, and Samus? What about him?"
"What have you said? 'him'?"
"Yes, I should call Samus 'it'?"
The computer stands silent for several seconds, then it says: "Of course not! Anyway, Samus is in the control room. He is driving the ship to get a little reward for having stopped the Space Raiders that were about to eat you".
" OK. I think I gotta see him to thank him!"
"Yeah! You should. Unfortunately, you can't. Samus wants you to remain here and he must drive the ship. He will decide what to do about you after having gotten his reward."
"Hey! I'm a person. Not an object!", I reply
"Actually. You are more akin to an annoyance, as you must be fed, washed and so on! You also don't know anything about space travelling or bounty hunting. Samus could have easily killed you, but he decided to let you live, but as long as you are here. you are his prisoner and you will obey to any order he gives you. Any objections, dude?"
I stay silent for a while. I didn't think that Samus could bring himself to kill me, but de facto I'm not a guy he truly needs.
Then I decide to answer: "I have MANY objections, sir, but I don't think I can do anything about it!"
The computer voice then says: "Well, you are learning something… Anyway, never answer like this to an official. The last man he said it was ejected in the space!"
"How do you know it?", I ask him.
"I was the official who ejected him in the space!", he lightly says.
"But you are a computer!", I yell at him
"I am, but I were human. Adam Malkovich doesn't really recall anything to you?"
I answer: "No, I'm sorry, but I do know where I can find something about your former life!".
I take my "Guide to the Galaxy" (apparently intact from the laser it was hit by) and look for 'Adam'
"Adam Malkovich(50 year before 20XX-5 year before 20XX) was the celebrated military genius that served as Commanding Officer (most notably to SamusAran He is described as being gruff, harsh, a perfect military mind, relentless in criticism, and not a machine obsessed with duty. When giving her orders he would end with "Any objections?" The question was rhetorical as he knew anyone wouldn't disagree. It was just a phrase to denote their trust. It is known that Adam sacrificed his own life to save Samus"
"Were that you?" I asks him.
"Yes, I was!"
"Anyway, I'm sorry for your death…!"
"Oh! Doesn't matter. I have never seen this as a problem"
"I'm glad! Now… what can I do? Do you have some idea, Adam?"
"NO! I mean yes! You could learn something about gunship technology. It could be useful to you."
Adam uploads to my guide anything about gunship and I am forced to learn. After a long time (I have lost time perception as I have got in the ship).
All of sudden. I hear an obnoxious sound . I understand what happens. The ship has landed and Samus has most likely gone to get his prize and then he will kick me out form his ship leaving me alone in an hostile planet. Well. I'm not very afraid of it. I will find job for a kingpin, then… I will see.
Time passes. Then Adam opens the door of the room saying: "Well, Samus is back, and , obviously. wants to talk to you (eg. Kick you out from here)"
"Yeah, I know – I answer – I think this means goodbye, Adam!"
"Exactly, dude! Well, now you should go, or you will make Samus angry: you wouldn't like him when he is angry!"
I quickly go in the room next to my prison. Here is Samus, waiting for me. He's very tall. As much as I can see he is 6 feet and 3 inches, against my 5 feet and 7 inches. I hello him and ask him: "Then, Samus? Did you get your prize?".
Samus watch me through his visor and says: "Of course, Apoc! But that's not the matter!".
I almost freak out. Samus has... the voice of Jennifer Hale? It's impossible! Samus is a guy… or is she? Fortunately, Samus doesn't seem to notice it, and I still live. He/she keeps talking: "First thing. Out from this armor. We need to talk… face to face". Then he/she presses a button and the power suit suddenly disappear. What kind of sick technology is this? Anyway, the mystery is solved: Samus has the voice of Jennifer Hale because Samus is female. I almost faint.
WTF! SAMUS IS A GIRL?!
This time I don't manage to control myself and I freak out and my eyes widens. Samus is not only a girl, but a piece of skirt! She is tall(er than me), blonde and very well-developed, she has blue eyes, long legs, her outfit is very revealing, as she only wear a pair of pants very short and a high-necked sleeveless top. Adam knew it, and he pulled a prank on me. What a son of a ship he is!
This time she notices my surprise and says: "What's the matter? Have you never seen a female human?".
I tell her the truth. "I haven't seen any human (male or female) for three month, Samus! It's quite normal if I am surprised to see another human… with the exception of myself!"
She replies: "In fact it does make sense! By the way, I want to tell you another thing. Do you know why I let you stay with me!"
"I moved you?"
"Yes, you did. I also have no interest in your death, as I would not have any credit. But I can't let you remain with me! You are too… childish!"
"I AM NOT CHILDISH!", I shriek. Then I realize what I have done and say: "I just am not able to control my anxiety!"
"As you wish! – Samus replies - But you lack any skills and you are likely to be killed if you remain with me! So, instead of letting you die because of me, I will leave you on this planet. As you were a journalist, you will not have trouble to get a new job".
I hear little of what she says, as I get lost into her eyes… and rest of the body. No doubt about it, she was very beautiful! But I know what she was supposed to say: she wants me out of her ship. I am fine with that, and I would be even more if Samus wasn't so hot!
I answer: "I… think so!".
She smiles, melting my heart, and opens a portal inside the room, just like the one who teleported me in the gunship She then says: "Bye bye!"
I start walking toward the portal. But, as much as I am near, I start felling that I'm doing something wrong. I remind what happened in Laendon… I was truly lucky, but I can't live forever through sheer luck. I need someone able to protect me, someone I could take inspiration, someone who I could use to become self autonomous, and… someone who is stunningly hot! Samus is the most dangerous being in the universe and to me even the sexiest.
She is the one who will turn me from a friendly nice guy from a fearsome and heartless warrior … and I like very much the idea.
I need her. I need her. I need her. Or I will most likely die. And I don't like to die!
I suddenly turn toward Samus and I get on my knees. I start crying and says: "NO, SAMUS! PLEAAAAASE! I KNOW I'M NOT A GREAT WARRIOR, BUT I CAN IMPROVE. I NEED A CHANCE! PLEASE. YOU CAN TURN ME FROM WHAT I AM TO A SKILLED FIGHTER. I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU, PLEASE!"
I start even kiss her legs. I know this is horrible to say, but they taste good! Afer a kick delivered in the face, I stop. She looks at me and asks me: "Do you really want to become a bounty hunter? I am not such a great teacher, and I will be pretty harsh. You have also to promise me that you will truly do whatever I order you to do. And, please, remember you will take some wounds from me. During a training of an hand to hand combat I will truly hurt you!! Are you sure about what you are asking me!"
Hot in body but cold hearted the girl. I hope she is not that strong as the media says. On the other hand, every media usually exaggerate. Me too when I was a journalist. I answer: "OKAY!"
Samus then lifts me up with just an hand by taking me from a shoulder. She says: " Vey well, my little apprentice, follow me!".
I am thinking about you thing: the first is that I have just made a deal with a she-devil.
The other thought is:
I love myself;I want you to love me
When I feel down; I want you above me
I search myself; I want you to find me
I forget myself; I want you to remind me
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
Ooh I don't want anybody else Oh no, oh no, oh no
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Apoc finally discover that Samus is a girl. I'm sorry I didn't update this for a while, but I have written a book, and I have paid attention only to it.Anyway, I don't own both "I touch myself" or this drawing which is Samus' appearance in this fic
http://spoonybardess. COURSE, MERRY XMAS AGAIN
