Here's the Fin chapter. I personally love this one, because I love Fin and Olivia's relationship. Thanks to Marish89 again, you're an awesome beta! And I'm rapidly becoming a review whore, so click that purple/gray button, albeit that could be fancier, and leave me a review!
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Odafin Tutuola is no stranger to sadness, anger or grief. As he stands outside the door of the one person he knows he truly needs, he reflects upon the loss he has encountered. He's experienced his fair share of grief after growing up in the 'hood', and more after joining SVU. His mind had been tortured with the same images and stories that caused the emotional destruction in all SVU detectives. He comes from Narcotics, a messy, violent and demanding job; not at all like SVU. He thought he'd seen evil in Narcotics but he hadn't, not really. It was like being introduced to a whole new world that had always existed but he'd been completely oblivious to. What made him succeed and not fall into a spiral of depression was something he had never experienced before; a sense of family and supportiveness.
All of a sudden, he had two brothers, a father and two sisters. While he loved Casey, similarly to how he had loved Alex, Olivia had always held a special place in his heart. Never before had he encountered anyone who could be so strong, so brave and so right. She had supported everyone around her, gladly bearing their pain herself if it meant that she could lighten their load. He'd never experienced that, and he had a feeling he never would again. He had been so reluctant to place any of his burdens upon her, when she carried so much of her own. Instead, in his own way, he had tried to lighten hers. He hadn't tried the typical approach, he didn't know how, in its place, he had made it his goal to make sure she knew how special she was. In his head, she became his 'baby girl', and he loved her like a little sister. For all intense and purposes, they were in this together; they were family.
And then his illusion had been shattered. One call, one heart-breaking message, one death. And then anger, sadness and grief were given a whole new dimension. His baby sister was gone. Fin had never been one for goodbye's, but now he bitterly resents that he never got the chance to tell her special she was or how much she meant to him, to everybody.
Their squad was like a house, and when the biggest and most crucial pillar was removed, the whole system began to deteriorate. That's what started when she died, and that's the last thing that she would have wanted. She would have wanted to know that they could survive, that they could get past the pain, and most importantly, she would have wanted them to still be a family. But now that she has gone, he just goes through the motions but his passion and drive for justice are gone. He does what he needs to do now, nothing more, nothing less. They win some cases, lose some but none of it is important because the drive for justice and impartiality has gone.
And as he looks around the squad room, what hits him hardest is there is nothing of her left. Not a photo, not a decoration, not even the old worn scarf she carried everywhere. He feels the loss once more, and as he desperately searches for something of her, he thinks of something she had
always wanted him to do. So this is where he finds himself, standing outside the apartment door, knowing that Olivia is smiling down upon him gives him comfort and a sense of peace.
As the door opens slowly, he readies himself.
"Hello Ken."