To live4yourXdreams, this story is Musicalverse. I'd have PMed you, but you're not a user as far as I can tell. Thanks for your review!
Elphaba found that the nights she slept next to Fiyero were the nights she slept best. Despite the fact that she felt guilty about the whole thing, she usually dropped off to sleep quickly and rarely woke during the night. She still woke fairly early, but, Fiyero or not, she was still Elphaba. She had pondered this, and concluded that their lovemaking, and the release of calm her climax led to, exhausted her. But then, some nights, they didn't make love.
The morning after their first night at the inn, Elphaba pondered this as she watched Fiyero sleep. The first time she and Fiyero had snuck off to be together, but not ended up actually sleeping together, it had been his idea.
"Fae," he'd said. "I love you. And I know that when we're together, I'm showing you my love, but sometimes, I worry... I hope you don't feel like this is all I want from you."
"I, um..." Elphaba had never consciously contemplated the idea, but she'd realized a part of her must have as his words hit home.
"I don't care about you because we have sex," he'd continued. "We make love because I care about you; I love you." He had kissed her, then, and pulled her against him to sleep, fully clothed.
She'd still slept soundly through the night.
As Fiyero shifted in his sleep, his hand gently reaching for her, she remembered every night since that first one that she'd slept soundly, sex or not. It wasn't sex, the satisfaction of some urge - it was him. It was Fiyero, and only Fiyero, that made her feel... safe. And whole. And perfect.
It wasn't fair to keep him, not like this. And did she want him like this? She believed that he loved her; she didn't want to think that forbidding him from ending his relationship was secretly a test to see if he'd break up with Galinda for her, anyway. She wanted to believe that she believed he loved her, because she did, didn't she?
Their last morning together before they had to return, she curled into him and rested her face on his strong, beautiful shoulder. His natural smell was intoxicating to her, now; it filled her with warmth and a feeling of security. He shifted in his sleep, waking happily with the knowledge that she was next to him.
"Morning, love," he murmured, pulling her closer.
"Morning..." She stretched. "How long do we have?"
Fiyero sighed. "Not long." He kissed the top of her head. "We should get packed and check out, I guess."
Elphaba smiled to herself. "You're not going to try for another round?"
"I'm game if you want to, of course," he grinned. "But I'm just happy to spend time with you, you know that."
"Maybe we should just get ready," she said, feeling like perhaps if they didn't sleep together today, they weren't doing anything wrong. For today, at least.
They traveled back to Shiz in relative silence, comfortable just to be near each other and doze, though Elphaba wasn't as adept at dozing as Fiyero was. "It's almost over," Elphaba whispered to him as they neared the stop she was going to get off at.
The driver eased the carriage to a halt so carefully, it didn't even wake Fiyero. She gently pulled herself from his shoulder, kissed his forehead, and exited, bracing herself to return to her room mate once more.
She knew that Fiyero would be upset that she'd snuck away, but if she looked at him and said 'goodbye'... She's look at him and kiss him, which wasn't her intention.
She would find the resolve to end it. She couldn't keep him, and couldn't steal him away, even briefly. Returning to her room, she found Galinda sitting on her bed, staring at nothing.
"How was your research trip?"
"It was alright," Elphaba murmured, dropping her shoulder bag. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing..." Galinda sighed. "Well, I -"
She was interrupted by a knock at the door, which she didn't even bother to stand up and answer. Elphaba went to the door, and found Fiyero there, looking betrayed. "Where did you go?" he whispered.
"I came here," she whispered. "Are you out of your mind?"
"Is she in there?"
"Of course she is," Elphaba hissed, stepping back. "Galinda, Fiiyero's here to see you."
With that, she stepped past him, grabbed his bag, shoved him into the room, and fled, dragging his stupid, incredibly obvious satchel to his room. She unpacked it, then stuffed the empty evidence in the back of his closet, panicking more and more as time passed.
Fiyero was smoothly flirting with Galinda while all this was going on, which would have reassured her if not for the fact that he ceased flirting after some mild kissing, and was "running late" again. Galinda didn't even catch his excuse, if he even made one.
Elphaba returned hours later, to find Galinda asleep, her hair not in curlers, her sleep mask still on her bedside table. Knowing she was to blame, Elphaba vowed to be there for her friend tomorrow, and was reading when the blonde woke, staggered to the bathroom, returned, and sat on her bed, ready to bare her soul.
"Elphie..." Galinda sounded so unsure, so meek. "Do you think I... Would it make me a bad person to break up with Fiyero because he won't sleep with me?"
Elphaba felt sick to her stomach as the word "no" flew from her lips.
"But if a guy did that to a girl, it would be horricious," Galinda reminded her. "We'd call him a snake. It's something Avaric would do."
Sighing, Elphaba murmured, "Avaric would never be in a relationship as long as yours, sex or not."
"You know what I mean. Oh, Elphie, I'm awful!" She took a deep breath. "I'm snakeified."
"Galinda," Elphaba sighed, trying to buy time. "I'm sorry, I have to be somewhere. But I'll talk to you about this when I get back, alright? I promise."
Elphaba knew exactly where she had to be. She had to be in front of Fiyero, telling him words she didn't truly want to tell him. He was in his room; where else would he be if not with Galinda or her? She knocked once then entered, and tried not to stare at the sight he made lounging on his bed, a book in front of him. "Fiyero, it's time for you to sleep with Galinda. She's going to suspect something, if she doesn't already."
"I can't, Fae," he said, shaking his head. "I just...can't. You've asked me to stay with her, and we barely see each other anymore... I'm doing all this, I'm living without you, because you wanted it. But I can't do that, not even for you."
"She's miserable," Elphaba murmured.
"Then she should break up with me!" Fiyero stood and walked to her, attempting to catch her hand in his, but she pulled away.
"Are you trying to get her to do that? That's low, Fiyero. Listen to me: as long as it would hurt Galinda, you and I will never be together. You might as well just be a good boyfriend," she snapped.
"So, what, if I don't do it, you'll just...?"
"Just... Sleep with your girlfriend, Fiyero."
Fiyero clenched his jaw, truly angry at Elphaba for the first time in his life, but blindly in love with her, anyway. He took a deep breath, sniffed, and blinked his eyes, trying to suck back all signs of the tears that were threatening to gather. He leaned to her, brow furrowed in pain, eyes trained on his feet, save a brief glance up at her. "I'll pretend it's you," he choked.
After he had gone, Elphaba raced to his bathroom and threw up until she was dizzy, then dropped to the floor to cry.