The following Saturday, Avaric and Elphaba did attend a rather crowded party, and Elphaba had her first real interaction with Galinda and Fiyero in weeks. Galinda had been steadily happier and happier, and Elphaba had relaxed into the belief that she really had done the right thing. Yes, Fiyero and Galinda were partying a little more than she thought was necessary, but they were also going to dinner, and, she suspected, having copious amounts of sex.

She didn't like the thought of that, but repressed it with sexual encounters of her own, which she'd decided to believe was healthy, despite knowing the opposite.

The party was going well enough until Fiyero tried to talk to Elphaba alone, and Avaric unwittingly interrupted, returning with a drink for her.

Fiyero became belligerent, and Avaric, who was quite hot-headed himself, didn't succeed in keeping his cool for long.

"Why don't you just back off Tiggular, and pay attention to your own girlfriend?"

"Who the fuck do you think you are? Do you think you're good enough for her? You're not, you know. And everyone knows it. You know it -"

"Yeah, I do," Avaric shot back. "But I'm lucky enough that Elphaba doesn't seem to agree."

"Oh, really," Fiyero sneered. "Hey, Elphaba, do you love Avaric?"

Elphaba froze. "You're drunk," she finally said. "Go home and sleep it off, Fiyero."

"I'll do something to get it off," he mumbled. "Fine, whatever, Elphaba. Whatever, both of you. Come on, Galinda."

Galinda, who had been hiding off to the side, looking horrified, did exit, but not with him. Avaric turned to Elphaba, and she shook her head. "She won't be able to manage him alone," she said.

"He's too big for her to support, I get it. But I might kill him if I'm near him, so you'll have to do this one alone, babe," he replied, looking wounded despite his attempt at a brave face.

She leaned to him and kissed him, trying to say all the things that were needed without having to say them. "I don't deserve you."

"It's a burden, but someone's gotta carry it," he smirked.

She kissed him again. "Don't get too wild with the boys," she warned.

Avaric shrugged amiably. "I only want to get wild with you," he flirted.

"Temptifying."

Elphaba caught up to Galinda and Fiyero very quickly, as Galinda was no match for his drunken stumbling. "Oh, Elphie, thank Oz," she sighed. "He's so big, I can't... I'm so embarrassed."

"It's alright, Lin, everybody could tell he was pretty smashed."

Elphaba pulled Fiyero to her roughly, taking no pity on him, and slipped under one of his arms. Galinda took up her post under his other arm, though she was too small to really help. "I don't know what's gotten into him."

Elphaba said nothing. When they'd dumped Fiyero in his bed, and checked to make sure he was adequately asleep, Elphaba turned to her friend. "He's had a lot - will he be okay or is it too much? I don't know how much he's been drinking lately..."

"Tonight he drank more than usual," Galinda admitted. "I think I might stay and just... I don't know, make sure he's alright. Not that I'd know what to do if something did go wrong, or... Well, anywho," she said, taking a deep breath.

Galinda looked tired, Elphaba noticed. Not happy or sad, just tired. "Will you be alright?"

"Of course," Galinda said, taking her friend's hands in her own and squeezing reassuringly.

"As long as you're sure. I'm going to go wait up for Avaric, so I'll be hanging out if you need me, just downstairs."

"Thanks, Elphie."

Elphaba nodded, stole a glance at Fiyero, then exited. She had Avaric's key (because he tended to lose track of his when he was out partying), and so she let herself into his dorm. Avaric was another student at Shiz who didn't share a room with anyone, having as much money as Fiyero, if not more. It was always convenient, for privacy, but, especially tonight, she was glad that she could just curl up on his bed and read.

Avaric returned to his dorm hours later, having had a few pints of ale, but not drunk at all. The truth was, hard partying with the guys just wasn't as thrilling as a few drinks with Elphaba - though he'd never admit it. He sometimes caught himself daydreaming that he lived with Elphaba, and could go out with her if he wanted, but could also go out with his friends, knowing she'd be home when he got there.

It took him a few moments when he'd returned to realize that he wasn't just imagining Elphaba on his bed, so often he pretended he could see her there. At first he was concerned. "Em," he murmured, shaking her lightly. "Em, wake up. Is everything alright?"

She looked confused, then disappointed. "I fell asleep," she sighed. "I didn't think I would..."

"What is it? What's going on?"

She sat up and leaned closer to him. "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry... I wanted you to know how much I care about you, and don't let Fiyero -"

"Elphie, don't worry," he soothed, pulling her close. "Fiyero was pretty drunk and he's got something eating at him, and it doesn't concern us. We concern us."

But Elphaba knew that Fiyero did concern them, because he concerned her. She was tired of loving him, tired of not being able to give Avaric as much of her heart as he deserved. She knew there was no way to stamp out her feelings for Fiyero, but she was tired of being afraid to try. In her heart, she knew it wouldn't work, but, what if it could?

She took his hand in hers and pulled it so his arm was around her, and his other arm immediately followed suit.

Their kisses became heated, and they progressed, as they always did, only this time, Elphaba reached for his shirt and removed it. And this time, she began to unbutton her frock. And this time, she reached for the waist of her boyfriend's pants.

Avaric was helpless to slow her down, and soon, they were naked, pressed against one another, and on the verge of changing their entire relationship.

With that realization, Avaric slid off to the side, holding himself over her and surveying her body hungrily. He leaned over to kiss her once more as his hand slid down the front of her and explored her, causing her body to lift off the bed with the intense ache of wanting him. "I want you," he murmured, caressing her with more urgency. He continued to pleasure her until she broke, gasping.

"Oh, Oz," she murmured, tugging him over her.

"Elphie, we can't," he said.

"Why not? I thought you said you wanted me?"

"I do want you, but I love you too much to do this before you're ready."

"I am ready," she promised, tracing his sides with her fingers and pressing her hips against his. She could feel his arousal; she assumed it wouldn't be hard to move herself against him until he lost all will to resist.

He began to devour her neck, his hands roaming over her body as his hips started to move back against hers. "I love you," he murmured, resigned to the truth of what saying the words would mean. Beneath him, he could feel her tremble, and he let the silence continue as long as he could bear it. "I love you too much to sleep with you if you're not ready, if you don't love me, too."

"I have trouble saying -"

"I know you do," he whispered. "But I don't think you'd say it even if you could. And that's alright..."

"Avaric..."

"It's alright," he said, kissing her gently. "Elphaba, it's alright."

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I care so much for you, but I'm... I don't love easily."

"I know," he said, rolling back off of her and tugging her into his arms. She buried her face in his chest and silently cursed the day Fiyero was born. "We've got time, Em, it's only been a month."

"I want you so badly," she whispered, ignoring the fact that her desire for him was also a desire to forget, to replace, to stop thinking.

"Well that's good," he chuckled. "And only fair, considering how badly I want you." He stroked some hair out of her face, smiling softly. "Will you stay the night?"

"If you'll have me here," she said, the guilt she was feeling evident in her voice.

"Of course," he grinned, pulling her closer.

They fell asleep pressed against one another, her face tucked in near his neck, his lips resting on top of her head. Lazily, he pulled a sheet over them, but had a vague thought that her body would more than sufficiently warm his.

Avaric woke early, even before Elphaba, which surprised him. It didn't take him long to realize why, as he noted the way her body felt against his, noted how hard he was, and noted that looking at her did nothing to relieve him of any excitement. Sighing softly, he rolled back away from her and focused on calming himself until he could get up and walk the rest of his arousal off.

He wanted her more desperately than he'd ever wanted anyone, and not just because it had been so long since he'd had sex.

He was about to climb back into bed when there was a knock at the door. Pulling a robe around him, he opened his door carefully, wondering who in Oz could be up this early.

Fiyero, looking incredibly worse for wear, leaned heavily on the door frame. "Galinda says I was a complete asshole to you last night. I woke up to her poking me," he said, wincing. "She's small, but her nails are sharp."

"Oh, that's alright," Avaric said, moving his body so that he filled more of the doorway.

"I really don't know what got into me. I mean, I know I've been really shitty to you lately, but... Can I come in? I want to make things right with you."

"That's alright, really," Avaric said, shaking his head.

From her place on the bed, Elphaba, now awake, tensed.

"Come on," she heard Fiyero say.

"Hey, don't -"

But she heard his footsteps brush past Avaric, and stop somewhere away from the bed. Elphaba, lying stock still and feigning sleep, was sure she must be shaking, that her heart must be pounding a deafening cadence, but hoped that both men thought she was still safely in her dreams.

What could she do? Sit up and say, "Fiyero, it's not what it looks like!"? No. She couldn't do that.

So she lay there, in the silent room, until she heard Fiyero's footsteps cross away from her and disappear into the hall. Avaric returned to her moments later, and crawled carefully back into bed. It only took him a moment to realize she was awake. "I didn't know what to say to him," he murmured. "I wanted to say we didn't... But it's not his business. So I..."

"It's alright," she whispered. She cleared her throat. "Well, that was embarrassing."

"Why?"

"Because I was naked," she said, though her cheeks burned as she lied. Why couldn't she lie to him?

"You were decent, I promise," he said. "Incredibly tantalizing, but decent."

"Mm," Elphaba frowned, closing her eyes and trying to relax.

Watching her, Avaric couldn't get the image of Fiyero - strong, unshakable Fiyero - white as a ghost and clutching his chest, out of his mind.