Dedicated to colourmebeautifulforachange and fermataoso. Now update already, both of you!
Elsewhere, Fiyero couldn't get the image of Elphaba out of his mind. She'd been completely naked, that much had been clear. The body he knew so well, the one he'd memorized with his eyes, his mouth, his hands, and his own form, it had been dazzlingly green and definitely bare.
The sheet that had covered only her ass had done nothing to hide the lines of her figure.
A figure that Avaric had now seen, felt, moved with.
Arriving back in his room, Fiyero threw up in the wastebasket, as it was the closest thing to him when he felt the acid rising.
He couldn't help feeling possessive of Elphaba - the thought of another man touching her was unbearable for him. He was the one who loved her endlessly, he was the one who she trusted enough to give herself to first, he was the one who would die for her. She was supposed to love him, too.
Why didn't she love him, too?
He was glad that Galinda had decided to return to her dorm when he'd left, because now he could flop down on his bed and curl into the fetal position, which he did. He lay there, staring at nothing, until a knocking at his door pulled him out of his stupor.
"Yero?"
Elphaba's voice. The knots in his stomach only tightened to hear it.
"Fiyero, it's me, it's Elphaba," she called. "Please, may I come in?"
"Go away," he barked.
"Yero... Please."
He pulled himself up, and acid immediately rose in his throat. He swallowed it down, wincing, and padded over to the door.
"I can't see you," he said, resting his forehead against the wood, a sentinel against the vision of a woman no longer his.
"Please, I want to explain."
He opened the door slowly, his jaw set in anger, but the moment he saw her, he started to crumble. His chin trembled, and he sniffed, trying to bite back his emotions. His eyebrows furrowed and wavered, then his chin started again.
It was too late to shut the door, as her foot was already inside, and so he had no choice but to walk away from her as he started to cry. She entered swiftly, pausing to lock the door, then pursuing him. "Please go," he pleaded, the words thick with tears.
"Fiyero, don't," she said, following him to where he'd dropped to a sit on his bed, and kneeling in front of him. "Please..."
"I can't -" he tried, but sobs overcame him, and he lost the ability to speak.
Elphaba had never seen a man so beautiful and so strong cry before, and so, she supposed, it was only fitting that the one time she witnessed it, it would be worse than anything else she could have ever seen in her life. She'd thought that the times she'd seen Fiyero choked up had been bad; she now knew that that was nothing compared to him actually crying. His tears were silent, but his body heaved with the force of them. He mashed his hands against his face, as if he could block the flood manually, but it was no use.
Elphaba took each of his wrists in her hands and clutched them, not trying to pull his hands from his face, but simply wanting to hold onto him. "Fiyero," she said, knowing what she had to say. "Fiyero, you - oh," she said, feeling tears threaten her as well. "We didn't sleep together, it looked worse than it was." He didn't answer her, only cried some more and avoided her gaze. "Please, Fiyero, don't. Oh, Oz, please..."
He stood, then, and she almost fell backward. "It's none of my business, right? So forget it. Just get out."
Elphaba stood, too, and gazed into his eyes. "You want me to go? You really don't want to see me? Then I'll go." She turned to exit, but he caught her arm.
"I'm so in love with you," he managed. "What am I supposed to do for the rest of my life?"
She stepped to him and wrapped her arms around him, and his arms tightened around her as tears threatened once more. "I'm sorry," she murmured.
"How can you be with Avaric? I don't understand, I can't... Do you have any idea what it was like for me to - ?"
"I know, I know," she whispered, tightening her hold on him. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean... I can't... Yero," she sighed, giving in. She turned her head and kissed his head behind his ear.
"Do you love him?"
"No," she said, feeling awful even as she told Fiyero what he wanted to hear, because it was the truth, and she felt horrible about it.
"Do you love me?"
"Fiyero..."
"Do you?" He pulled away to look at her, and she dropped her gaze.
"Why would you ask that? Either answer will hurt you."
"I love you, too," he said, sounding resigned. "It's the stupidest thing in the world that we aren't together, and I'll never forgive you for it." She nodded. "So you might as well fuck him, if he wants it."
She gasped, stiffening, and he saw that he'd wounded her. She held his gaze for a moment, looking as if she were about to unleash a torrent of fury upon him, then, exacted her revenge gently, instead. "I could never make love to anyone but you. Even though right now I can't even think of why."
And with that, she left his dorm room.
Fiyero spent the rest of the day moping, until, finally, he knew he had to get some coffee and some sustenance, and that, as much as he didn't want to, he would have to leave his room. He didn't both to fuss with his hair, he remained in his rumpled clothes, and... his boots weren't shiny.
It was clear that he was not to be trifled with.
Crossing the grounds, he came across Avaric, and felt altogether willing to murder the lucky bastard. But he paused when he saw that he was having some sort of heated debate with a girl Fiyero recognized as one of Galinda's admirers. Kella, or something.
He listened for a moment before determining that they were talking about Elphaba.
"You never treated me with that kind of respect," the girl said, looking ready for a fight.
"You never earned it," he shot back.
"I think not being a freak is a good starting off point!"
Fiyero felt himself redirect his murderous intentions to the stupid girl.
Avaric's hands balled into fists before he could help himself, and he took a calming breath as Kella stepped back instinctively. "Just... get away from me," he said, his voice low. "And don't ever talk about her that way again."
Kella just nodded, then fled, and Avaric turned to walk away as well, bumping straight into Fiyero. He didn't meet Avaric's eyes, and it was clear he was forcing himself to speak. "You really do care about her, don't you."
"Of course I do."
Fiyero's jaw clenched. "Then I'm happy for you. Be good to her."
"I will."
As Fiyero walked away, Avaric wondered exactly how he was going to talk to Elphaba about something he'd have never thought would come up.
oxOxo
He was relieved that Galinda was out when he arrived at Elphaba's dorm. He knocked softly, then opened the door, peering in to find her alone in the room, folding some clothing. "Hey, Em, can I come in?"
She smiled at him, and nodded. "Of course. How are you?"
"Uh..." She frowned at his hesitation. Avaric wasn't as tough as the show he put on, but he was always quick to say he was 'good'... Then, slowly, he would reveal that he wasn't, if that was the case. "Well, I need to talk to you."
"Alright," she said, pushing her laundry to the side. "About what?"
"About Fiyero."
Avaric could tell that Elphaba was trying very hard to keep her facial expression neutral. "What about him?"
"I think we both know that he's in love with you," Avaric sighed. "But I want to know... I don't think he'd be acting the way he is unless he thought there was a chance to be with you. So, I guess what I'm asking is... Are you with him? Or were you? Just tell me, Elphie. Because if you don't want to be with me... Please, just put me out of my misery."
"I'm not with Fiyero, I'm with you," she said, softly. "I want to be with you."
"Were you two ever together?"
Elphaba couldn't fully lie to Avaric, but she couldn't tell him the entire truth, either. "We kissed once, when we were drunk. Truthfully, I didn't remember it until recently. I passed out in his bed and before we fell asleep... The next day, I didn't remember, and... I don't know if he did. We never talked about it again."
"When?"
"A few months ago. I was -"
"So he cheated on Galinda."
Elphaba hung her head. "Yes. We betrayed her." When she lifted her eyes again, they were full of tears, and Avaric moved to wrap his arms around her.
"It's alright, I won't tell. You were drunk," he soothed.
She didn't want him to console her. She didn't deserve comfort; she was guilty. She had cheated on Kers, then committed adultery with Fiyero. She had allowed him to cheat on her best friend. With her. And now she was lying to her current boyfriend about the whole thing. And her current boyfriend was downplaying it. "I feel so awful," she finally said.
"Don't. And I don't think Fiyero will be so... He talked to me today, I think he realizes how much I care about you. Maybe if he's not being so... Then we can just put it all in the past. What do you think?"
"I'd like that," she said, leaning up to kiss him. "You're really wonderful, aren't you," she mused.
"Don't tell anyone, I have quite the reputation to maintain."
"You're telling me." She paused. "Jerk."
He took her face in his hands, smirking. "Goddess."