Breaking the Rules
By MaryMagdalene912
Disclaimer:You all know that these characters don't belong to me, right? Well, I'm just reminding you of that unfortunate fact. But, on the other hand, if anyone steals my plotline, they can count on having their guts ripped out to make a necklace for me as soon as I find out. Thank you (:
A/N: Sorry about the really long delay in updating, you guys. I had to sit the end of school exams, then I bludged around for a while afterwards before getting back to this beloved FanFic! Talk about lack of motivation... Anyway, here's a slightly longer chapter to make up for it! Hope it answers all your questions about Darien and Raye! I was going to drag it out for a bit longer (the secret), but I thought you guys had waited too long already!
Warning: Adult themes ahead. Some themes in this chapter may make readers uncomfortable.
Chapter 6
Most of the next day passes me by in a depressive haze. Mina has gone out with friends before I wake up, but she was nice enough to make me waffles. I finish all ten of the waffles and half a tub of ice cream by midday, and lounge around the couch feeling bloated and sorry for myself. I have no idea what to expect about Darien and me anymore. Will he finally break up with me like Raye had always wanted us to? Or was he going to keep going in his pig-headed way, pissing off Raye so much that she would do something that we all regretted?
I had just decided to do something useful instead of mooching about when I hear the key turn in the door. Mina was home! Finally, a change to seek the sage wisdom of my dearest friend.
"Mina, I'm so glad to see you!" I throw my arms around her as she comes through the doorway, smelling slightly of chlorine and shampoo. "Eurgh, did you go to the pool?" I hate swimming in the community pool. It's so gross, you never know who's been there before you, and what presents they've left behind in the water. I shudder just thinking about it.
"Yes, I have, Serena," Mina rolls her eyes at me good naturedly. She knows how I feel about pools. "And I'm glad to see you, too!"
I beam at her. "Well that's good, because I have to talk to you about something." And so I tell her about what happened the previous night at the restaurant.
Mina chews on her bottom lip. "That sounds really odd. I wonder why she'd kiss him."
"I know, I was wondering the same thing! It seems way too weird for a brother and sister to act like that. But then again I'm more worried about whether he's finally going to listen to that brat Raye and stop seeing me." I make a sour face.
"Poor Serena," Mina hugs me. "You want me to make you some pancakes or something?"
I grin mischievously at her. "I already ate all your waffles this morning, but thanks for the offer!"
I dodge Mina as she tries to hit me with the embroidered cushion she had in her lap and laugh. "I'm going to clean my room."
"Serena? You, clean your room?" Mina asks in mock disbelief.
I roll my eyes. "I know, I know. It's just that I decided I was sick of sulking around, waiting for something to happen."
"Good for you, Serena!" Mina says.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
I've just finished putting the last piece of clothing that was lying haphazardly across my bed, in my wardrobe. I smooth out my bedspread and survey the effect. Not bad, I think to myself. Now, I wonder when the last time I cleaned my room was...
The phone rings once. "Serena! Phone!" Mina calls from downstairs. Puzzling over who it could be, I pick up the extension in my room.
"Hello?"
"Serena?"
"Darien?" Oh, my God, what's he going to say?!
"Serena, I'm calling to say sorry again about last night." He sounds sincerely apologetic...
"Don't worry, it's not your fault at all, Raye can be really stubborn at times, and she seems to hate us. I can't figure out why."
I hear a sigh on the other end. "Look, I know you probably don't want to be seen with me in public again in case Raye catches us, but I really need to see you. I have to tell you something."
Suddenly, I'm curious as hell. "What is it?"
"I can't tell you over the phone Serena. Can we meet somewhere?"
I think about it for a second. "Why don't you come over here, Darien? That way, we won't be seen, and we can have some privacy, Mina won't bother us."
"Are you sure it's ok with her?"
"Yeah, it's fine, I'll go and tell-" I stop suddenly, having heard a click on the other end. It was so soft, but I was sure I heard it.
"Serena?"
"Yeah, I'm on the line, but I thought I heard something. Like a click." I say. "Do you have an extension?"
"Yeah, we do, but no one's home at the moment. Raye left just a little while ago."
"Are you sure, Darien?"
"Hang on, I'll go check."
I wait nervously for him to come back. I wonder what will happen if Raye catches him making plans to see me again!
"Serena? There's no one near the other phone at all."
I want to breathe a sigh of relief, but I can't, there's something holding me back. I could have sworn the click I heard was someone subtly replacing the other phone. Feeling uneasy, I say bye to Darien and put down the phone. A few minutes later, we're sitting in my room.
"I don't know where to begin." Darien looks down at his hands. I gently take one of his hands and massage it between my own. He looks so troubled that I'm worried for him.
"You know last night at the restaurant? With Raye coming in and doing all that?" He looks at me. I nod and wait for him to continue. "Well, I thought about it, and I decided that I should really tell you everything. It just seems to create a really big space between us if I start to keep secrets from you. Serena, I love you, and I want you to be a part of my life, so I want you to hear this, ok?"
"Ok." I say, my voice coming out softer and meeker than I intended.
"Well, when Raye and I were younger, our parents died in a car crash. You know that right?"
"Yeah."
"Well, soon after they died, Raye and I were sent to live with Gramps. But Gramps wasn't always there for us. He was a busy man and he had to run his temple, so sometimes he'd go to temple meetings at other temples as well, which meant that he wasn't home for a few days, sometimes even weeks at a time." Darien paused a moment to gather his thoughts. "Anyway, one of those days that he was away, there was a really heavy storm that scared both Raye and me, but Raye more than me, I suppose, because she left her room and ran to mine, crying and scared. So I let her sleep in my bed that night. Then, I- I-"
Darien stopped speaking. His hand started to shake slightly in mine, and his face was an unhealthy crimson hue. "Darien, if it's too hard for you to tell me, you don't have to."
He took a deep breath and steadied his voice. "Serena, I haven't told anyone about this, and I don't think I ever will again. But you need to hear it, just as much for me as for you, and our relationship. I need you to know why Raye is the way she is.
"It started off with me just holding her, rubbing her back, calming her down. But then, I started having indecent dreams about her, I couldn't stop thinking about her naked and what it would be like to- to- God, I can't even say it. My own sister! She was only ten years old for God's sake. I don't know why I felt like that, but I just felt so lonely all the time. After our parents died and we moved to a new school and everything, I found it so hard to make friends because it was in the middle of the semester, and I was depressed about the car accident, of course. Raye was the only one who was there for me all the time, and my twisted brain started mistaking her sisterly affection for something else.
"And Raye had started making a habit of sleeping in my bed whenever Gramps went out of town, because she was scared to sleep at the end of the corridor by herself. I told myself it was because she couldn't resist me." He let out a bitter laugh, and I could feel myself tensing from the shock of what he was telling me. I gripped his hand tighter in mine and in my mind, forced him to continue.
"So that night she came to sleep in my bed, I was naked, and thinking about her had given me an erection. So when she hugged me as usual, she felt it and she was shocked. I told her that if I put my dick in her, she would feel warm and happy and it would mean we would be the closest brother and sister in the world. Nothing could come between us. So she let me fondle her chest, touch her clit, and eventually make love to her. I went really slowly, because I didn't want to hurt her."
He suddenly turned around and gripped my shoulders. Staring into my eyes, he said, "Serena, I never wanted to hurt her. I cared about her, and I still do. I just needed someone to be close to me then. You understand me, don't you?" I nodded my head, transfixed by his slightly manic stare, not understanding anything. How could someone do that to their sister? Was Darien a monster, or just a messed up kid?
"Just a few weeks after I started doing that to her, I stopped myself, because some part of me knew it was wrong. I knew that I was doing something terribly wrong, taking away her innocence. I realised that if I really cared about her, as I told myself I did, I wouldn't do this to her. So I stopped, and Gramps never found out, and everything was fine. Or so I thought. But it never has been fine since then, of course. How could it be? I messed up my younger sister for life. Ever since she was ten, she's been obsessed with me, she wants to have that closeness between us again, she wants us to sleep together, to have a happy family, to have kids and everything! As she grew older, her fantasies developed more and more, and it got to the point where she would come up to me and beg me to make love to her. I couldn't face the fact that I had reduced my sister to this sort of a life, so I left to go to uni in England. I won a scholarship to study medicine there, and I escaped because I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't face the consequences, but now that I've returned, my past has caught up with me."
We sit there in silence. My mind reels with everything that he's just told me. I just couldn't register it, any of it. Some rational part of my brain was making links and going, "Aha! So that's why Raye is so overprotective of Darien, she doesn't want anyone to ruin the closeness that they had once." But for the most part, I'm still digesting what he has said. And I have a sour taste in my mouth.
Suddenly, we both hear a gentle thud outside. Sounds too heavy to be the neighbour's cat. I run to the open window and look out. I can't see anything, but the tree branch nearest to my window is quivering slightly, as though someone had been holding onto it moments before, only to let go and jump down.
"Darien, I think someone else might have heard also your story." I grimly say to him.
"Oh, shit. I hope Raye didn't follow me here. If she finds out I told you, she'll get so angry." He flops down on the bed, and closes his eyes. "But then again, it's about time I told someone. I feel so much lighter, like some of the load of what happened has been lifted off my shoulders. You had no idea how hard it was, pretending to be a moral person and taking care of people at the hospital, when I lost all sense of morality when I was fifteen."
"Oh, Darien, don't say that. I still think you're a wonderful person. We all make mistakes, and you were at such a young age, too. You didn't know any better, and like you said, you never meant to hurt her. You just wanted to be closer to her. Think about all those other older paedophiles who rape children for the sake of it."
"I'd rather not."
"What I mean is, Darien, you were pretty much a child, too, yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself. It's all in the past now, and we need to think about what to do now. Right now, I think it would be good if both you and Raye went to see a psychiatrist or a psychologist and took it from there. Both of you have had emotional trauma that's been bottled up for ages. It's not really healthy." Woah, I have no idea where all this stuff is coming from! I barely registered what he said, and I'm already advising him? My brain must be smarter than I give it credit for!
"That's true, that actually seems like a good idea." He looks at me thoughtfully. "Thanks for listening to me, Serena, and not judging me."
I immediately feel guilty about wondering about his ethics earlier. "Hey, anytime!"
"It really means a lot to me. Do you think we can still be together after all this?"
I think about it. "Well, what you did in the past doesn't really change who you are as a person now. And it's the current you I've fallen for. And hey, we all have skeletons in our closet, who am I to judge? Just as long as you feel remorse for your wrong actions, and you're willing to fix them up, I think I have all I need in you." I smile at him.
He smiles at me and walks to me to give me a hug. "Love you, Serena."
"I love you, too." I bury my face in his top, my eyes getting misty. And it's not because of my undying love for Darien (although that definitely exists), rather it's sympathy for Raye.
A/N: What did you think? I know it's a little weird, but this kind of story is a story I've wanted to write for a long time. I did put in a warning at the top, so no one should review me telling me that that chapter made them feel bad because of the incest references or whatever. If you're a sensitive person, read the warnings and stick to fluffy stories!