Hehe, I laughed a bit making this chapter… but the next one: Oh god, I'll probably be on the floor giggling my ass off with all those hidden messages and double meanings in the big conversation. OH DEAR! Anywho, SPECIAL, smexci shout-outs go out to:

Fariy Lights: THANKS:D I was having trouble keeping them in character, so it's good to know I got Reid and Tyler right on. You might think Tyler's nice in that chapter…but he'll be a little & in this one. I'll leave you to fill in the blank when you read this.
Shylae: Glad you like Anna and Lucy. I thought people would find them somewhat annoying, what with all the OCs in the fandom. THANKS again.
HollowSerenity: Oh yeah, depending on how you write it, the whole gay concept can always be funny:D When I first thought of the concept, I was actually going to make them gay! But, then another idea got stuck in my head…and well, you'll see later on:D
SkyyRider: It's a lot of fun writing Lucy and Anna, so I'm really happy you enjoyed reading them. They don't get in a mishap in this one, but they do see…er, hear…one.
Vampyrgirl1997: Awesome that you like it! You can keep your pants on, I updated:D
Faydiablo: If you thought last chapter was funny, than I'm sure you'll like this. I don't know. I know I laughed, but I laugh at everything. o.O
Marie: Glad you loved it and I'll stop talking. Enjoy chapter 3!

jack daniels and a slow, comfortable screw

Jack Daniels is in accordance with Anna Daniels, our temporary drunkard for today. A slow and comfortable screw is for you to find out…

Anna should have officially changed her name to Jack. It would have been more logical to be called Jack Daniels, especially since her body probably consisted more of the poison than water or blood combined for the moment. Lucy drank the same amount, but if there was one thing she could man up to, it was alcohol. She had a high tolerance, courtesy of her father, and if she ever got drunk, she sobered up quickly. That wasn't to say she wasn't a bit tipsy at the moment though.

Hushed laughter fell on the deafeningly quiet halls. Without Lucy's support, Anna would have laughed like a hyena, but the shorter girl was quick to smack a hand over her friend's mouth.

"You have to be quiet, Ann," Lucy scolded her, a giggle emitting from her mouth.

Anna nodded her head, staring down at Lucy, "My god, you're short."

Lucy only laughed quietly, jabbing at her friend, "I'll take that as a-"

"Shh," Anna's sticky hands fell over Lucy's face once she heard some grunting.

Lucy grimaced in disgust, shoving the nasty appendages off her face. The girls subsequently went into a playful bitch-fight until the noise Anna had previously heard had gotten louder.

"What is that?" Anna inquired, sticking her hands out in a perfectly still fashion, as if that would help them solve their answer.

Lucy stifled her laughter. Anna could be such an idiot when she was drunk. "I don't know, but it's coming from the shower stalls…the boy's showers."

"Oooo," Anna wiggled her eyebrows, "let's check it out."

The girls quietly tiptoed over to the men's shower chambers, opening the door slightly to hear the muffled sounds. Their heads both peaked out from the crack in the door just enough to hear the noises clearly. In fact, the noises, or rather voices, were getting louder…and more disturbing. The girls didn't even attempt to hide the look of horror on their faces when they heard the panting and moaning…and the shower that was on.

"Ow, it hurts," a masculine—and not to mention, whiny—voice groaned in anguish. He was panting hard, as if he was participating in some strenuous activity. Strenuous activity, indeed.

"Oh stop being a pussy. Just suck it up and deal with it," the other voice demanded with annoyance and dominance. Boy number one was still panting and the girls could almost feel his pain…unfortunately.

That was all the girls needed to hear before they silently closed the door.

"Wow, that was very dirty," Anna commented, still in a daze. She immediately sobered up, as if she had just drank a pot full of coffee. "I had no idea it hurt so much taking it up the ass."

"Anna!" Lucy admonished, punching her friend in the shoulder playfully. "But really…I never knew guys were so rough with it. I always thought gays would be gentler in that sort of thing."

"Leave it to you to make stereotypes…Apparently, they like it hot and spicy," Anna winked, as they began to walk down the hall.

Upon hearing and feeling a reverberation and shake of the ground, Lucy could only laugh, "…and rough."

"Ew, you're gross, Abbot," Anna teased, finding her balance, "It was probably Mark and Patrick, experimenting with chemicals again. I don't know how they manage to steal supplies from the chem. lab."

Once the sound of the door creaking echoed within the halls, Lucy and Anna immediately turned around to find who the instigators of the moans were. Their jaws dropped to the floor.

"Damn, I'm drunk," Anna whispered to herself. There was no way she was seeing this. The closet fags of Spenser Academy were Reid Garwin and Tyler Simms?!

Lucy choked both on her laughter and astonishment, "Well at least we know why they walk around like they have something up their ass now."

"That was dirty, Abbot," Anna responded grimly, even if a grin was itching on her lips.

"What are you two looking at?" Reid asked irritably, pushing Tyler along in the direction of their dorm.

"What's his problem? He didn't even have to do all the work," Lucy jested once again, noting Tyler's fatigued figure. Reid looked slightly sore, but annoyed more than anything.

Anna just shook her head with a smile as she pulled her best friend towards their dorm. Lucy was such a cute kid when she was being crude. It was all too apparent to Anna that she was rubbing off on the shorter girl.

"You know, you'd think they'd be a little more civil like Ellen," Lucy babbled on once again like a child as she opened the door. Normally, Anna would join in on the conversation…but images of Reid and Tyler grinding up against each other were plaguing her mind.

"You seem to be taking this better," Anna commented as she jumped onto her bed. "I thought you'd be plotting their demise by now. You have all the blackmail you need."

Lucy shrugged, hugging onto her pillow. Now that she found out their secret, she wasn't so sure she wanted to exploit it, even if they pissed her off. "Ah, I don't know. We'll talk about that tomorrow. So, Carmen and Paige?"

"Cover ups, Abbot. It's obvious they're just decoys to cover up the gay love," Anna informed her with a wide grin. "This is so weird. I wonder if Caleb and Pogue are gay too."

"It must be all that time in the lockers with all those dudes. Stare at a sausage long enough and you'll want to eat it."

Anna laughed, throwing a pillow at her friend. "Well, at least I have something in common with them."

"OH!" They screamed in unison, giggling uncontrollably as they fell down.

"Tomorrow's going to be so funny. All those girls chasing them…and we'll be the only ones that know they're gay. I honestly think Parry and Danvers are in on it too. Do you notice how they paired up?"

"Uh huh," Lucy agreed. "It's a gay frenzy. It's kind of cute once you exempt the fact that they're all jackasses…and eliminate all those disturbing noises we heard before."

"I don't think any amount of alcohol is gonna erase those sounds…I'm just glad we didn't see it," Anna cringed. "Who would have thunk it though? The boys of Ipswich are actually the faggots of Ipswich. I don't know about you, but I think we're going to be having the time of our lives blackmailing the fuck out of those four, or at least, two."

"I don't know. Don't you think that's a bit…mean?"

"Oh don't get soft on me, Abbot. You were right before. They've been fucking with us for far too long. It's time to have our fun," Anna attempted to persuade her friend. "It's not like we're going to do anything bad. It'll just be the funny stuff."

Lucy laid back down, staring up at the ceiling. She pooled over the idea for a bit, and upon seeing the harmless smile on Anna's face, she surrendered. "Okay, I'm game…but we're not really going to tell anyone, right?"

"Fuck no. I may be a bitch but…wait, what was I saying again?"

Lucy laughed. Yep, everything was going to be just fine.