XI - BROTHERLY BONDING -THINGY

"Doesn't look like news to me."

Leonardo noticed Raphael's somewhat jumpy reaction at his greeting. Raph quickly switched the computer's screen off before answering to his brother:

"Ya should really learn ta knock", he growled, turning Don's office chair to see Leo leaning on the doorway.

"Why? You never knock", Leo asked grinning, stalking towards Raph,

"Are you hiding something?"

"Not any of yer business, Leo. What'cha want anyway?"

"Nothing. Just came to watch what you're up to. Shouldn't be illegal, shouldn't it?" Leo answered commonplacely, now standing next to Raph. Raph's eyes narrowed at his brother. He was obviously taking his brother's surprising visit as a surveillance call.

"Leo, just get lost, will ya? I'm tired of ya meddlin' with me. Not in the mood fer pick up a fight."

"You're not? Are you sick or something? Should I call for Splinter?"

"Ha ha, Fearless made a funny. Now beat it."

Leo sighed deeply.

I can't believe Don actually talked me over to do this, he thought grimacing inwardly,

Talking with Raph is as constructive as talking with a brick wall when he chooses it the way.

"Why is it so hard to believe that I do enjoy your company?" He decided to give it a try anyway,

"At least sometimes, in small doses if you're behaving nicely", he added with a little humour in his tone. Raph clenched and unclenched his fists like he was trying to decide whether the last line was a suitable excuse for hitting his big brother or not. Of course it wasn't.

"Sorry, but I don't do 'nice', bro. I just wish ta be alone right now. So if ya can excuse me and we can leave this brotherly bonding -thingy of yers ta some other time when I don't have some more important things ta do."

"What ever, Raph", Leo shook his head turning to leave. But before he had taken a single step towards the door he had second thoughts:

One last try. It's important to Donny. And for all of us.

"Still somethin' ya wanna get out of yer chest?" Raph growled impatiently, staring at the black screen. Leo looked suddenly very serious, which usually meant to Raph that he was about to hear either a lecture or bad news. He wasn't on a mood for either.

"Raph. I don't want to keep fighting with you."

Raph blinked at his brother. Leo blinked at his brother's reaction.

Okay, this is somethin' new. Raph seems to be completely out of reaction patterns.

"Uh...what's that supposed ta mean?"

"We have to stop fighting. You heard master Splinter this morning."

Raph's confusion changed into boredom and annoyance.

"Yeah yeah, Leo, as well as every other mornin'. So what? What are ya gonna do? Stop bein' an idiot? Maybe, just maybe then --"

"Raph, I'm serious", Leo's voice got a new, impatient tone,

"I have all the right to be worried about the safety of this family, Raphael. It's my burden as a leader, and sometimes I wish I had you on my side to share some of that burden. That you would understand where I stand."

Raph snarled in frustration standing up and starting to wander around Don's room.

"It's always yer leader duty -shit ya keep referrin' on! I'm so fed up with it!"

"I think you're ignoring the most essential point of my speech now, Raph", Leonardo remarked crossing his arms on his chest, giving Raph an I'm-expecting-a-little-more-even-from-you -look. Raph snorted.

"Yeah, I know ya need help ta actually lead the team of yers. Not much of a 'fearless leader', are ya?"

"All I'm asking is a bit of cooperation from team members. Why don't you offer your hand for me instead of giving me some extra hard time, I'm sure that way --"

"Here's a helpful advice fer ya: get off from my shell!"

"That's not what I meant, Raph!"

"I'm so sick of ya bein' the leader, Leo."

"So that's the problem? You hate me being the leader?" Leo challenged,

"You can't be seriously anymore wanting to be the leader?"

Raph gave a little smug laugh.

"I don't wanna be the leader", Raph lied,

"But I could be the leader. I happen ta think we don't need no stinkin' leader", Raph stalked to Leo continuing:

"Besides I hate ya bein' the leader, I hate that ya suck at being the leader so much that it drives me fuckin' crazy!"

Leo was startled by Raph's argument.

"W-What?"

Raph had called him by many, unadmirable names since he was chosen as the leader. Raph often used sentences including 'shitty excuse of leader' or 'self-important bastard' which were both referring to Leo. It was trash-talk. It was just Raph.

But now Raph had made a statement which actually held few important points.

"You actually suffer because you think I'm...incompetent?"

Raph grinned.

"Yeah. That's right. Ya finally got it? Congrats, bro!"

Leonardo opened his mouth to give an answer, but Raph continued leaning close to Leo:

"D'ya understand now where I stand?"

Leo stared back at Raphael's dark eyes, holding his breath and assuring himself, that his brother's arrogance was seldom a good reason to lost control of his own emotions. But Raphael seemed to think Leonardo's silence as a mark of his victory.

"That's what I thought so", Raph said smugly, pulling away from Leo's personal area. Leo thought Raph's words few moments, for were they true or just Raph being especially angry and rude today, they certainly made Leonardo thoughtful.

"So tell me then, why aren't Mike and Don suffering?" He asked then, looking at Raph who was now glancing him from the otherside of Don's room.

"Ya give 'em privileges I can't have. That's why", he answered. Leo let out a relieved sigh. After all this was still about Raph wanting to do what ever he pleases.

"Yeah? What privileges? To me it seems it's only you in the need of privileges", Leo answered dryly,

"A pretty dangerous privileges, I should add."

"Ya just can't stand that I've chosen a different path than ya, Leo", Raph was gesturing with his hands melodramatically as he usually did when he was angry enough. It was the sign for Leo, that his little brother had lost his temper.

It appears that Raph isn't so sure after all that his journeys are justified. Otherwise he wouldn't have lost his temper, Leo reasoned. He was starting to see new hope in their conversation.

"Your path is dangerous for us all, Hothead",

"Shut that shit up, Splinter junior. It ain't. Ya just can't figure that out by meditatin', can't ya?"

"Look. I'm suggesting a compromise here. Be a little more open about the things you do when you go topside, and maybe then --"

"Get the hell outta here before I have ta hit ya!"

Leo snorted.

"Yeah, that's right. Scare everyone away with your mighty fists and sais! Really smart way to deal with problems. What a great leader you would be, Raph."

"Great leaders are respected! And they make good decisions!" Raph yelled back,

"Unlike ya, Leo. It's ya here who's the problem."

Leo shut his mouth trying to hide that this time Raph had really hurt his feelings. Without a word he left Don's room.