Chapter 2: You're actually hoping it's gone, aren't you?

"It's not like we can just go to Elizabeth and tell her something's wrong with Atlantis," Sheppard argued with Rodney's immediate desire to suspect the worst and act accordingly.

"We could," Rodney muttered, "if you were willing to give up the 'I'm just like the rest of you' routine and tell her the full story."

"Do you want me to get shipped off to Area 51?" Sheppard demanded harshly, hardly aware that his raised voice was starting to draw attention from across the room.

"No," Rodney replied heatedly, "of course not ... but aren't you the least bit concerned that something might be wrong?"

"Everything else is working isn't it?" Sheppard asked, pretty sure the answer was yes since the lights were still on and no one had radioed Rodney in a panic yet.

"As far as I can tell," Rodney admitted, "but that doesn't mean anything!"

"It's just as likely that something's switched off in my head," Sheppard pointed out. "Just because I can't hear the city anymore doesn't mean there's something wrong in the systems. Maybe Atlantis just went on vacation."

"Oh that's just like you isn't it," Rodney complained. "Why can't you be serious instead of turning everything into a joke?!"

"You take everything seriously enough for the both of us," Sheppard pointed out casually.

"Of course!" Rodney exclaimed with dawning understanding. "You're glad about this! You never wanted to have this connection and you're actually hoping it's gone, aren't you?"

"Let's not assume anything," Sheppard deliberately ignored Rodney's question. "In any case now's not the time to talk about this," he glanced pointedly at Rodney's staff, noticing finally that they were watching him and Rodney with more than just a passing interest.

Rodney looked up, face telling its own story that he'd forgotten anyone else was in the lab. "If you've got time to watch us you've got time to finish those analysis reports," Rodney dished out the punishment, scowling at the offenders until they guiltily bent back to their work.

"Run a full system diagnostic," Sheppard suggested. "If that comes back clean we'll work out what we want to do next."

Not waiting for Rodney to start grumbling, Sheppard strode out the door and back to his own office. Trying to get his mind back on the mission briefing proved impossible ... unrelated thoughts were running through his head and he just couldn't concentrate on reading Rodney's overly verbose report. He'd felt tired before heading down to Rodney's lab - now he was finding it hard to keep his eyes open.

Thinking he'd just have to finish the report before the meeting tomorrow, Sheppard walked wearily back to his quarters and immediately stretched out on his bed. Now that he was alone he admitted to himself how torn he was about what had happened in the lab. On the one hand he was glad to have one less thing to worry about ... the fear of discovery had been playing at the back of his mind since the hydrothermal vent had first begun to affect the city. But if he was honest he'd have to admit that it was too quiet ... he'd become used to the constant company, in his head and across his skin, and now the lack of that was just as disturbing as the presence of it had been when he'd first arrived. Shaking his head at the contradiction, Sheppard turned over and buried his head in his pillow. Within moments he'd dropped into a deep sleep.

x

"Take your fill," Kolya ordered. The Wraith slammed a hand down on John's chest, howling rapaciously as it slowly sucked the life from him. Sheppard felt the skin shrivelling over his entire body, writhing in agony at a million imaginary claws scratching at his arms, his face, everywhere. Added to that was the nightmare feeling of being eaten alive from the inside by tiny unnamed predators who delighted in drinking the very moisture from his blood. His scalp tightened painfully as dark hair that had been thick and full of character thinned and turned grey and then white. And still the agony went on until it became his whole world, unending, without purpose.

Sheppard retained just enough awareness to look beyond the Wraith to the man who'd captured him and perpetrated this atrocity. His stomach roiled as Kolya grinned at him, delighted to observe the feeding, viciously enjoying the sight of Sheppard's life slowing being stolen away. "Finish it!" Kolya's voice rang with evil pleasure. The Wraith howled again, taunting Sheppard with its malevolent hiss and flick of head. The pain intensified to a point Sheppard was sure meant death was only seconds away ...

x

John jerked up in his bed, covered in sweat and panting harshly. Bringing up shaking hands he covered his face, almost moaning at the harshness of the images that had assaulted his dreams. "Jesus where did that come from?!" he muttered aloud. Dreams about past events were pretty common place, but not like that, and not so removed from the reality of what had actually happened.

Concentrating on deep even breathing Sheppard slowly brought himself back under control. Walking to his bathroom he glanced in the mirror, grimacing at the pale, troubled image that gazed back. Splashing water on his face and drying off quickly, Sheppard finished in the bathroom, carefully avoiding looking at himself again. Settling back into bed, he lay stretched out gazing up at the ceiling. He didn't think it possible but moments later he dropped back into sleep.

x

"You did not think I would really help you to escape?" the Wraith prisoner sneered gleefully at Sheppard's crestfallen expression. "You did! You humans are truly pathetic." The Wraith took deliberate steps towards him and Sheppard knew another feeding was probably unavoidable. Still he turned and hobbled off into the trees, puffing and wheezing like the old man he'd become. The Wraith followed behind, sending images for Sheppard to see of ghostly shapes shifting through the trees; stalking him purposefully but enjoying the hunt too much to end it quickly.

Sheppard could feel the Wraith gaining ground, feel its foul breath wafting down the back of his neck. Stepping up the pace John tripped on a hidden tree root and crashed painfully to the ground, the loud crack and intense pain telling him he'd broken something crucial inside. Moaning in agony Sheppard looked up just in time to see the Wraith almost glide into position above him. The feeding hand slammed onto his chest, familiar and made all the worse because of it. Sheppard screamed at the unbearable pain, almost ready to beg for an end –"

x

Sheppard came to wakefulness, vaguely aware that his own voice yelling had woken him from the dream. "Damn it!" he growled aloud, troubled by a second unusually vivid dream in the same night. Glancing at the clock he groaned - it was only 4:23am. Still, he didn't want to go back to sleep, didn't want to risk a third nightmare. Dragging himself from the bed, Sheppard changed into his running clothes before heading out into the deserted corridors of Atlantis.