Chapter 4

aganau koto sae dekizu ni boku o tojikomeru
inoru koto shika dekinakute...kanashimi wa ienai

I lock myself up, unable to even atone
I can't do anything but pray...my sadness is not cured

(Gackt – Bird cage)

I was listening to a peep, peep, peep sound since I got here, I'm getting tired. It's funny how I can't think of anything else but the young person lying unconscious just 2 feet away from me. It seems so familiar sitting here, trying to make myself comfortable on this seat that was probably made for people who don't sleep. It reminds me of the time when I was sitting exactly like that, waiting for my mum to wake up. But she never did. I still remember the sound of peep, peep that turned into peeeeee when my father pulled the plug.

It wasn't a murder, it's just, my mum had an accident and she was in a coma, probably never to wake up. They read her will and it said that if there's a chance…

Anyway…

It's not the sound that I'm bothered with it's the waiting that any moment constant peeping can turn into a peeeee. Damn, I don't even want to think about it. It's been six hours since…

"Harry I'm giving you a cha-LOOK OUT!" There was silver Hyundai dodging a cat and since Harry was wearing black, the driver didn't see him.

Crash…

"Oh my God, Harry, Harry, HARRY! Get and ambulance, quick!"

There was so much blood and Draco didn't seem to know what to do, he just keep holding Harry's hand, whispering comforting words, even though he knew the young boy was unconscious. People started gathering around them and the driver seem even more lost than Draco.

"What should I do, what should I do?? I'm so sorry, I didn't see him, I'm so sorry. Oh good God, help us all!"

"Would you stop yelling and babbling this second, and come here, hold his hand, but don't move him."

Draco saw that people standing around them were just watching what's going to happen next. Most of them were frightened and it seemed as if they were in some sort of trance. He quickly pulled out his mobile and…

"Yes, this is Draco Malfoy speaking and I need an ambulance in the corner of King's Cross now! There was an accident and a teenager is unconscious. I think he lost a lot of blood and he has a huge wound on the right side of stomach."

Draco turned it off and returned to Harry. He looked so pale and… dead.

No, no this can't be happening, he was telling to himself. It's just another nightmare and I'll wake up momentarily.

The sound of ambulance car was heard two minutes later and Draco was gently pulled away.

"Let us take care of him, ok?"

He was watching how men in white suits carefully laid Harry. He couldn't help but observe how their face expressions changed.

"Sir? Sir?"

Draco winced "Yes?"

"Were you here when accident happened? Are you ready to tell me what happened or should I wait for another day or two?"

"No, no it's fine. There's not much to tell but… Well I was following Harry and when I asked him a question he turned around. He didn't see, I didn't see that we were standing on the middle of the street. Then a car came and hit him. I think the driver was just tying to dodge a cat, but since Harry was wearing black, he didn't see him. The next thing I remember is holding his hand and knowing that there's too much blood."

"Thank you," he said and looked worriedly at me. "Now I'm sure doctors will allow that you go with your boyfriend."

"No, no he's not my-"but the policeman already left.

"Draco Malfoy?" I heard a nurse call my name so I needed to snap out of my daydreaming. Well technically I wouldn't call it a daydreaming, more appropriate expression would be day-nightmareing.

Anyway, I couldn't help but to overlook her expression on her face, it looked so expressionless.

"Yes?"

"Well I'm here to inform you that Harry suffered a great blood lose and his condition is still critical. At the moment he's in a clinic coma so his body won't be reacting too much. It could change his condition to even worse."

"Will he be alright?" I asked, without caring what she just said.

"I don't know more than this Mister Malfoy, but the doctor will be here momentarily and you will be able to question him. Right now I'm supposed to tell you that you're allowed to see him and stay with him for as long as you need to. But you should do well to follow my advice and go home, take a nap; you can't help him at the moment."

"Thank you, but I think I'll be staying here."

"As you wish, goodbye."

I was still looking him through the glass his room was covered with. I didn't have the power to enter his room, I was too scarred. All I could do was to watch his unconscious figure and listening peeping sound.

"Draco Malfoy?"

There was a man standing next to me, he seemed to have been watching me for the past moments.

"I'm Doctor Witherspoon and I was taking care of Harry-"

"How is he, will he be alright?"

"Well I'm not sure what to tell you, but he lost a lot of blood and has a lot of deep wounds on his body. I don't know how the car hit him exactly but his body was severely damaged on a lot of places. Among other things he has a broken arm."

"But that can be repaired, right? And you can just give him blood transfusion and…"

"Look, Draco… I know that Harry is important to you but his body is in a very bad condition. That's why we put him into a clinic coma so he won't be reacting to outer disturbances. And I need to say this; his body is not the main problem. Just like you said, in time, both blood lose and his fractures can be healed but at the moment he needs to fight. And he's not. We don't know why, but he just gave up, like he doesn't want to live anymore."

Like he doesn't want to live anymore…

OoOoOoOoOo

I opened the doors of my apartment and slowly walked in. I think if someone saw me right now he or she would have said that I'm a walking dead. Well if I think it over, I think I am. I can't help but to think what can happen now. What will happen? Is it my fault?

Of course it's my fault, it always is. I always drive people to so things, to do stupid things that are putting them in danger. And it's my fault, it always is.

I went to my living room and for the first time in years I wished that everything would be cozier. If I look around myself now all I can see it modern furniture, furniture that fits into every place you put it, the most expensive furniture. I wish that everything would change now, that black and white could become wood and that my plasma TV would somehow turned into a fireplace.

I was sitting on the sofa, doing completely nothing when my phone rang. I didn't have the power or the will to pick it up… the answering machine can take it.

"Draco? DRACO? I know you're there because I saw your car in garage. Don't you dare ignore me do you hear me! Draco? Pick the damn phone up and don't mess with me. Draco? If I have to tell you one mo-"

I pulled the plug out of electricity and laid myself down. I guess sofa it is…

I need to sleep sometime…and besides, tomorrow is a huge day.

I walked through the doors of my apartment after a long day. The first thing I noticed was humorous- Harry struggling to get an obviously too tight shirt off.

"Need help?"

Harry's breath hitched. "N-no I'm fine, it'll just take a moment," he said, while trying to get the damn thing off.

"Just stay still." My voice cut through the air. He seemed so close now, close, too close… Why the hell was it always too damn close?

I gripped sides of the shirt and slowly he began to pull it off. Firstly I untangled right elbow, then the left. Softly I touched sides of his shoulder and pulled the shirt off. Harry looked up at me and I realized then that, that was the most erotic moment I have ever experienced. Nothing had come even close to what I was feeling now, so helpless but at the same time I seemed to have the power to…

He looked at me for a moment, and then said, "Do you know what I thought the very first time I ever saw you? You know, in my office, when you were yelling at me because I slept on your sofa?" He pinched my thumb gently between two of his fingers as he said it, then slowly locked my hands between his own and brought them up to cuddle them under his chin, hugging them to his chest. My legs had gone very weak at the knees. "You know what I thought? I thought, 'Oh, man. This guy's going to be trouble'. I swear, I was standing there, and those words were just going through my head, over and over – 'he's going to be trouble'." He looked quite proud of himself. "Was I right or what? That's, like, predicting the future! I'm psychic!"

I didn't say anything for a moment. We were standing very close together now, our hands clutched together in a knot of fingers that rested on his chest. I could smell the clean, fresh scent of his shampoo as his hair dangled in my face. Slowly, almost drunkenly, I eventually said, "I want to feel you Harry, and I mean feel you. Not just the person who would do anything for his job. I want to touch you, and not being afraid I'll hurt you."

His face lit up a little, light spilling around him, creating a nimbus of deep copper around his face. The intensity in his eyes then, the sheer, unashamed devotion, was electrifying, like being filled up with clear, powerful joy. With a small hitch in his voice, he said, "I think I could do that…Draco." He lingered on my name, our faces precariously close now. "Just promise you won't… please. I still can't forget the pain. I think I never will you know, but at the same time, I know I am touch starved. I need to feel, I need to feel something, someone."

"I promise," I confirmed, my voice still slow, caught up in this breathless, giddy moment. "I don't want to be without you. I'll…whatever life throws at us, Harry, I'll always be here to face it with you, no matter what." I swallowed, and added, in a voice that sounded devastatingly tender even to my own ears, "I'll never leave you." Slowly, barely understanding what I was doing, but unable to stop all the same, I leaned my forehead against his, loving the feel of his body against mine, drinking in his warmth, his acceptance, his compassion, his courage. He rubbed his cheek against mine, and sighed, a happy little shiver running through his body. The closeness, the gentleness, the dreamy, wonderful love, all ran together like a river of fire inside me, flooding me with painful, piercing contentment. I felt tears prick my eyes as I we stood there, pressed to each other, breathing in unison, our hands curled together, our bodies basking in the warm, melting light of the fiery sunset that had saturated the room. I closed my eyes, feeling as though I were dissolving, seeping out of my body and into his, meeting him, knowing him, loving him, holding him - forever.

Slowly, his hands slipped away from mine and wound around my waist. I slid my arms up and around his neck, pulling his body against mine with an odd desperation, trying to get even closer to him, as though making sure that he was real, wanting to keep him for my own. I pressed my face against his, hearing myself whimper slightly, nuzzling his cheek with my nose, suddenly needing him more than ever before. I felt his hand touch the back of my neck, feather-soft and entrancing. Even such a simple thing was enough to make me go crazy with pent-up longing. A series of whispery shivers dripped down my spine, and I moaned softly, looking up hungrily into his face, clutching him to me, my breaths hard and sharp. His eyes were darkly green, and heart-wrenchingly beautiful. His hand moved up, slowly, slowly, trailing along my face, each second heightening the delirious, trembling sensations swirling inside me, until at last the tips of his fingers rested on my lips, and he was tilting my head, pulling my face slowly, steadily, down to his, his mouth drawing closer and closer to mine…

…then the door banged, and a voice shrieked, "Draco!…"

"Draco!" shrieking voice snapped me out of my dreams and I carefully opened my eyes. I was trying to convince myself that the person standing next to me wasn't-

"Nina?"

"Dray I'm so sorry I yelled at you last night, I didn't realize, but you should have told me you had an accident. I called Melanie and she told me everything, how you were so brave and how you saved that kid, how you-

"Nina?"

"Told the policemen everything even though it happened just a moment ago and how you went to the hospital to-

"Nina would you stop and get the hell out of my apartment. I was sleeping if you didn't notice and I don't appreciate the way you're yelling now, or just talking loud. I can't tell. Just get out!"

"Why are you being so mean Dray? I was just worried about you, you know-"

"Nina I'm having a though day and I don't need you to make it tougher, ok? Just get out!"

"Fine! Oh, and you know what? I called to the hospital, because I was wondering if you're still there and when they told me that you weren't, they said one more thing."

"…"

"They said that in one weak the kid will be transferred to another hospital in Manchester, because that's where his orphanage is." She smiled evilly, "and Draco, baby there's no need to pretend as if you care for the boy, really? It's not like you ever cared for your one stand whores."

"Get out!" and she was gone.

One minute passed.

Five minutes passed.

Ten minutes passed.

Twenty minutes passed…

There's only one thing I can do for you Harry… I picked the mobile and…

"Father…it's me. I need a favor."

Random-laughter: well here it is and I hope you like it. Harry's not ok and I don't promise anything for now. I love rebel Harry too 3

I-see-thestrals: Sorry to disappoint you…runs away I have 18 tests now at school so I'll probably spent most of the time studying. Thanks for review!

Celestialuna: well I'm glad you think that way, like I'm saying I was having troubles with writing first chapters, but from now on I'm having it figured out.

Katherine: Hi, my god-name is Katherine…Lol, I don't think it matters. Anyway thanks for your review. I'm glad you like it.

Aa: I had to looked up what engaging means. Yea I know my vocabulary is not the best at the moment, mostly because I'm studying a lot of languages at the moment. Thanks for your comment.

Fifespice: Yup, you guessed it;) I hope you like it.

Dhampir Elf: Thank you for reweaving and liking my story.

Darkangledragonlover: hehe, thank you.

Serpent91: I don't know if he'll be alright…but if you review more and more you'll find out sooner.

Angelkat2502: Hehe, I just did. But don't worry. I'll try to make it faster…

Gooey: no problem :D Well I hate reapers and people that are abusing other people so in this story, they are getting DOWN…;)

A/N: pant THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWS, I was so happy when I came home and saw 34 number. Review more and more and more!!