XV – THE BLINDNESS THAT BINDS US

Master Splinter had just gotten out of the shower to be able to hear the heavy footsteps heading to the entrance of their lair. The door was opened and then shut again with such temper there was no question who it had been.

"Raphael..." Splinter muttered pacing to the door of the bathroom. He opened it slightly to have a perfect view down to the first floor to his three sons, who were gathered to the entrance of their dojo.

He saw Leonardo holding his temples, apparently going through a large diversity of feelings, from sorrow till anger. Donatello looked like he was lecturing to his eldest brother and Michelangelo tried to do his best to cheer his both brothers. The two older turtles seemed to ignore his efforts, probably thinking he didn't understand the seriousness of the situation.

"Fools", Splinter shook his head while retrieving back to the bathroom closing the door.

While Michelangelo may be the most light-hearted of us, there are no excuse to believe in his innocent ignorance and blindness.

Splinter knew very well, that his youngest son was always very aware of every twist and turn what happened around him. Besides his natural curiosity towards his family members and friends, Michelangelo could easily see through people.

Through those people, who are fool enough to underestimate his power of observation, Splinter pondered, plugging in his hair-dryer that miss O'Neil kindly had given him for his birthday, or re-birthday, for it actually was the annual of their mutation.

His brothers are wrong. After seeing Leonardo in a state like that, Michelangelo will fully understand the seriousness of the situation. He'll probably be the first to learn anything about it.

Splinter started the hairdryer, letting the pleasant, warm air brush his face.

Neither Leonardo nor Raphael had come to see their master about the argument that had been going between them lately. Splinter had a pretty good idea what the argument was about, although it was cloaked into a little meaningless fights they were having every now and then.

As a father I would like to let my children to have...hmm, the world of theirs. I'm just an old rat, what should I know about...these 'things' kids tend to be interested in that certain age.

Splinter sighed and stopped the hairdryer to comb his fur. The tangles were easiest to open when the fur was still a bit moisture but not too wet.

On the other hand I see difficult issues rising between Leonardo and Raphael. Sometimes it's very problematic to be both father and ninja master at the same time.

He was certain that his sons would overcome their disagreement, but another one would soon take place if they didn't take heed from this one. Splinter started the hairdryer again pondering different choices he had.

This isn't going to be easy to any of us, he acknowledged,
But that is what being a family is about: joying and suffering with and because of each other.

When Splinter stepped out of the bathroom, the turtles had left from the living area. A faint scent of sandalwood coming from the dojo suggested, that one of them was having his meditation in there.

Silently the rat entered the dojo, taking a good look at Leonardo. He saw from his slightly tensed face, that it was a remorse practice rather than a calming meditation. He knew his eldest son had always enjoyed sandalwood fragrance for its soothing nature. But at the moment it appeared that Leonardo needed some of Donatello's tranquillizers in order to really relax.

Leonardo opened his eyes, for he had realized he was no longer alone. He wasn't surprised at all to notice that he was staring at his father's knowing eyes.

"It's late, my son", Splinter remarked, referring to the fact that usually at this time of night Leonardo was most likely to be found from his own room.
"I know, sensei", Leonardo nodded.
"Is there any particular reason to be up this late?" Splinter inquired, seating himself opposite of the turtle.
"I...I had a fight with Raphael", Leonardo said quietly, taking his eyes away from his master's.
"My son", Splinter started,
"Lately you two have been fighting all the time. Why --"
"I know and it's not right!" Leonardo interrupted Splinter tensely. A quick look at his master's face told him that he had forgotten his place. It was something that could be expected from his little brothers but not from him, not from 'the golden boy' he was so hard trying to be.
"I'm sorry, master."
"Apology accepted. I do trust that it will not happen again."

Leo shivered when Splinter said 'trust'. It just had to be that choice of words tonight, right?

"Thank you, sensei. I'll watch my tongue for now on."
"So tell me, what it is that disturbs you?"
"I crossed a line I shouldn't have. My judgment failed me."

Splinter was hoping Leonardo would be wise enough not to go into any details that weren't necessary.

"And why did you do it?"
"I guess I didn't trust him...and I was so blinded by it I refused to realize there was so much I couldn't see."
Splinter inhaled deeply like sucking in Leonardo's words to give a thought about them. After a silent moment he continued asking:
"What tells you it was your judgment that failed?"
"I...I'm not sure. I guess I just want to go back in time and change some events. Although I was so sure at the moment, that I was right...that it was the right thing to do. But then it hit me, that maybe it wasn't about what's right and wrong, that it's something...something else. I...I don't know...I regret my actions", Leo wasn't sure his speech made any sense in his master's ears, but Splinter answered:
"I'm very well aware of your passionate nature, my son. You are sincere, but the world is seldom as black and white as our simple minds are trying to understand it."

Leonardo flinched. Master Splinter was calling him simple minded. Hearing master Splinter scold him made his stomach turn inside out. He always tripped to his own pride, he always thought he was ready, he always thought he knew the best...

Wait, didn't master Splinter just say 'our' simple minds..?

"Humbleness comes among age for those who find it hard to gain elsewhere", Splinter remarked somehow dryly, apparently acknowledging his son's thoughts. Leo pressed his head expressing his shame.
"I've learned a lot of lessons myself the hard way", Splinter said then with softened voice,
"And this will be a lesson more for me."
Leo lifted his head with a questioning glance glimmering in his eyes.
"What do you mean, sensei?"
Splinter smiled softly.
"As much as I wanted to save you four, my loved ones from the harsh school life is throwing at us, I can't do it. You are growing, and there will be time I'm not guiding you like this..."
"Father!" Leo exclaimed in panic, but Splinter raised his hand to silence him.
"I'm not leaving anywhere, yet. But what I wanted to say, life keeps throwing in front of us things we just can not prepare ourselves. It's a thing you too should accept. Life is a flow you can't control. If you build a dam, the flow stops. And that's not what you want, isn't that?"
"Stop the flow of life? No, of course not."
"What we can do, is to control ourselves in the flow, and be aware of our surroundings."

Leonardo nodded, although he was actually too tired to think about Splinter's words. With a deep sigh he whispered:
"Father...I'm not sure if I qualify as a leader anymore. I mean I...I tried to be strong and good leader, and it all ended up that I just hurt Raph. It hurt Mikey and Donny too."
"Come here my son", Splinter spread his arms and Leonardo hugged him,
"We'll find a way."

A/N:

So, that's it for It's no good. I'll continue Follow the leader -trilogy in the next part Make me better. But I guess I'll concentrate on another story I've got in my mind for a while.