Chapter 4: Four hours, 1 x-ray, 5 stitches, and two pain killers later

"What have you done to yourself?" Carson demanded as Sheppard strode into the infirmary a few minutes later, hand wrapped in a towel that was already soaked with blood.

"Why do you always assume I actively contribute whenever I turn up here?" Sheppard complained weakly, letting Beckett assist him up onto an examination bed.

"I've already spoken to Rodney Colonel," Carson cut him off before he could add anything. "Although he didn't warn me about this," Beckett gestured to John's latest injury. "So you can forget about whatever story you've concocted to explain."

"He didn't waste any time," Sheppard muttered grimly, watching as Carson unwrapped the towel to reveal his very swollen and probably broken right hand.

"He's worried about you," Beckett looked at John sternly. "He wouldn't give me all the details but he said you were not yourself ... very badly not yourself."

"He didn't tell you what happened?" Sheppard looked up in surprise.

"No," Beckett confirmed as he administered to John's hand. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"Not really," Sheppard looked down glumly.

"Well at the very least I'll need an explanation for what prompted this," he gestured to Sheppard's ruined hand. "The truth lad – I've been around long enough to recognise when a patient's put their fist through something."

"I don't know Carson," John's gaze was troubled as he frowned at the memory of the past hour. "It's like I was in some kind of daze ... I just didn't have the control I usually have. The really bizarre thing is that Rodney didn't even do anything to warrant that level of anger – he's done much worse in the past and I've been able to shrug it off."

"Have you noticed anything else unusual," Doctor Beckett asked casually.

"Ah ... not really," Sheppard replied just as casually.

"So vivid nightmares are usual then are they?" Beckett pinned Sheppard with a stern look.

"McKay!" Sheppard growled irritably. "He didn't tell you I almost strangled him but he did tell you he woke me from a nightmare?"

"You almost strangled Rodney?" Carson zeroed in on that one worrying detail. "Whatever possessed you to –"

"I didn't know I was doing it!" Sheppard broke in to explain. "I was asleep and Rodney must have gotten too close ... my first moment of awareness was waking up with one hand around his throat."

"Ah," Carson nodded in understanding. The Colonel wouldn't be the only military person in Atlantis with the type of training that made a man react to danger before he'd even woken up.

"Look – I've warned him in the past not to sneak up on me like that," Sheppard continued, "but that's no excuse. I should have known he wasn't a danger."

"I'm sure that Rodney will forgive you once he's had a chance to think about it," Beckett said in reassurance. "You can hardly be held accountable for something you didn't know you were doing."

"It's not that simple Doc," Sheppard admitted reluctantly. "I ... ah ... I didn't apologise. In fact I was pretty cruel – and I ah ... I yelled at him."

"Don't worry lad - we'll sort you out here and then you can go and talk to Rodney," Beckett put a comforting hand on Sheppard's shoulder. "First up we need to x-ray your hand."

"Thanks Doc," Sheppard said gratefully.

"Don't thank me just yet Colonel," Doctor Beckett replied. "You know I'll have to report this to Doctor Weir ... she'll want you to talk to Doctor Heightmeyer."

"I knew you were gonna say that," Sheppard grumbled, not sure what was worse - having to sit around talking about his feelings or getting reamed out by Elizabeth.

x

Four hours, 1 x-ray, 5 stitches, and two pain killers later Sheppard was released from the infirmary, right arm plastered from knuckles to mid forearm and supported by a sling. It was late evening and he'd decided the best thing to do would be to talk to Rodney straight away. Even though it was late he knew the lab was probably the most likely place to find him.

"You still need help with that system?" Sheppard held out the olive branch hesitantly, fully expecting Rodney to throw it back in his face.

"Are you offering?" Rodney's voice sounded normal, although he'd yet to turn from his laptop to look at John.

"Yeah," Sheppard agreed, taking a few steps closer.

"I need to finish running this program," Rodney said, hitting a few keys before turning to face Sheppard. He frowned when he noticed the cast and sling. "What did you do now?"

"Came off second best in a disagreement with my door controls," Sheppard quipped with a careless smirk. "Which reminds me – can you send someone down to fix them?"

"Am I the only one worried about you?" Rodney looked at Sheppard intently. "Can you not see that you haven't been yourself lately? And I don't just mean this," Rodney gestured to his own neck and Sheppard noticed for the first time the darkening bruises circling Rodney's throat.

"I'm fine Rodney," Sheppard insisted, "and ah ... I'm really sorry about that," Sheppard waved a hand towards those bruises.

"Not your fault," Rodney said simply. "It's not like you haven't warned me a hundred times not to approach you when you're sleeping."

"I should have known it was you," Sheppard disagreed.

"Under normal circumstances I'd agree with you," Rodney replied, watching John's expression intently. "But this was hardly normal – you were deeply immersed in what looked like a particularly vivid nightmare. Can you remember what it was about?"

"Kolya's pet Wraith," Sheppard said simply. "Look, I'm ... ah ... I'm sorry I yelled at you. I don't even know why I did that."

"Is that how you really feel?" Rodney asked quietly. "That we ... that I expect you to drop everything whenever I call?"

"No!" Sheppard denied. "I had a crappy night's sleep, I was tired and then there were the nightmares. I just needed a break."

"Nightmares?" Rodney leapt on that one. "You've had others?"

"Just a couple last night," Sheppard admitted reluctantly. "It's not that unusual Rodney ... getting the life sucked out of me by a Wraith has gotta have some kind of lasting effect."

"I suppose," Rodney agreed thoughtfully. "But why now? That was over a month ago."

"I don't know," Sheppard replied, "but you'll be glad to know Beckett's also concerned – he wants me to go see Heightmeyer."

"Good," Rodney said unsympathetically. The beeping from his laptop drew Rodney's attention away – after tapping a few more keys he nodded to himself before getting up from his chair. "Shall we try that system again?"

"Sure," Sheppard agreed. He watched Rodney call up the isolated system for a few moments before speaking again. "You should get Carson to check out your throat ... make sure I didn't do any lasting damage."

"Carson already came down to see me," Rodney said lightly. "No permanent damage done. Now, are you ready to try this?"

Sheppard followed Rodney's prompting, mentally leaning on the system controls to try and find out what the system did. As before, those controls were completely unresponsive. This time there was nothing – no pulse of energy, no indication the system was even receiving power.

"Mmm," Rodney said thoughtfully, looking down at the console with a puzzled expression.

"What?" Sheppard asked curiously.

"Oh, nothing," Rodney replied slowly. "I just ... I wondered whether maybe this ... whatever this is was responsible for your nightmares."

"That seems unlikely McKay," Sheppard said in amusement. "It didn't work last time and it's not working now."

"You're right," Rodney agreed. "It was just a thought ... still, I'd really like to know what this system is for."

"Should I try turning it on?" Sheppard asked. "Maybe that's the only way we're gonna find out."

"It's probably not dangerous but we've been burned before with the Ancients," Rodney prevaricated. "You know I'd like to just say yeah, turn it on, but Elizabeth would have my head if it turned out to be something threatening. I don't think she's completely forgiven me yet for draining the ZedPM."

"We wouldn't want to make that worse," Sheppard agreed. "Plus I'm already in trouble because of this," he held up his plastered hand.

"Let's call it quits for now," Rodney suggested, turning back to his laptop. "I'll let you know when Elizabeth approves us taking it further."

"Sure," Sheppard stood in the middle of the lab, waiting for Rodney to notice he hadn't left. When Rodney glanced up with a raised eyebrow Sheppard looked at him seriously. "Are we okay?"

"If by okay you mean have I forgiven you for almost killing me," Rodney said matter-of-factly, "then yes, we're okay."

"Thanks Rodney," Sheppard smiled in relief, taking his leave before Rodney could think of something else he wanted help with.

x

"You had to go and injure yourself again?" Ronon complained the next day at breakfast.

"I didn't do it deliberately," Sheppard shifted uncomfortably at the scrutiny he was getting from the rest of his team.

"You put your fist through your door controls," Rodney took delight in pointing out. "Sounds pretty deliberate to me."

"Don't you have some underling to go and terrorise?" Sheppard asked sarcastically.

"Not right now," Rodney denied airily. "I can hang out here all day."

"Rodney," Teyla admonished. "How long will it take for your hand to heal?" she asked Sheppard.

"Two broken metacarpals equals about six weeks," he admitted reluctantly.

"And I suppose we're off the mission roster for all of that?" Ronon grumbled with a scowl.

"You can volunteer your services to one of the other teams if you like," Sheppard said in annoyance. "And thanks for the concern buddy ... I'm overwhelmed with sympathy here."

"A warrior who can't control his anger doesn't deserve sympathy," Ronon said sternly.

"Ronon," Teyla again had to put that scolding edge into her voice. "We are all disappointed the Colonel is injured but that is no excuse to pick at each other."

"Fine," Ronon shoved back from the table, grabbing his tray and striding away without another word.

"He means well,' Teyla excused. "Ronon does not do well with inactivity or confinement."

"Whatever," Sheppard stood up as well, looking at the remaining members of his team. "What I said to Ronon goes for both of you as well – don't let this stop you from going off world. I'm sure Doctor Weir would welcome your help."

"Are you all right John?" Teyla looked at him with concern.

"Sure," Sheppard agreed. "Why wouldn't I be?" Before she could answer Sheppard glanced at his watch as the signal for leaving. "I gotta go ... I'll catch up with you later."

Authors Note:

The metacarpals are the bones in your hand between knuckles and wrist ... I guessed the healing time based on a blogspot I found called signmycast that had estimates for wrists (3-8 weeks) and lower arms (6 weeks), so apologies if it's not accurate.