-1Chapter 15

Climbing the creaky old steps, I just wanted to be alone. This was the only place I knew no one would bother me. Not many people even realized it was there, the loft above Meredith's garage was going to be my room for the night. I could've gone to the house and knocked on the door. They would've let me sleep on the couch but then I would have to explain why I was here, begging for a place to stay in the middle of the night.

There was no need for the heater tonight; it was pretty warm out without the chill of the rain. I sat down on the futon and pulled a box toward me. I knew what was in it. Pulling out a flashlight I had brought from the car, I opened the box that held what was left of my childhood. I sucked in a deep breath as I lifted the flaps.

A flood of memories entered my mind and an overwhelming fear took over my body. I stood and dropped the flashlight, ready to run and hide. That's when I heard footsteps on the creaky wood. Through teary eyes I saw her. She paused at the top of the stairs only for a moment; she was probably shocked to see me here in this shaken state. Steadily she walked to me. Slowly bringing her soft hands against my rough face she wiped the tears away with her thumbs, her smile was not that of pity but concern. I closed my eyes the second I heard her voice.

"Alex, you're shaking. Are you cold?" She reached down and grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around me. Her body was pressed against mine and for the first time in my life I wanted to let go of my past, I felt safe enough to do it as long as she was holding on to me.

"Izzie."

She kissed my forehead, pulling me tighter into her arms and I couldn't stop the tears from falling any longer.

"It's okay Alex, I'm here and I'm not letting you go." Her voice was soft and loving, it was everything I needed.

My tears eventually ran out and we sat on the futon side by side, her arm laced with mine and she held tightly onto my hand.

"Can I show you something?"

She nodded her head and I reached into the box, pulling out a stack of pictures.

"Is that you?" She points to a picture of me and my sister when I was about six years old.

"Yeah, that's my little sister." I showed her the next one.

"Is that your mom? She's beautiful."

"Yeah, that's my mom and me when I was a baby."

The next picture was one that made her sigh.

"That's your dad?"

The resemblance was obvious, only slight differences in appearance.

"That's my old man." My fingers trace the worn edge's of the photo, a man I have not seen at since I was sixteen years old. A man I see everyday in the mirror.

"He looks so...cold"

"He was a mean son of a bitch, treated my mother like shit."

"Alex." I look into her eyes. "You aren't your father, not even close. You might look like him but there is nothing else about you that is similar."

"That's not exactly true, we both suck at relationships."

"Do you know what I think?"

"Iz…" She ignores me and keeps going.

"I think that you push people away. I think that you just don't get into relationships with people you care about because you're afraid that you'll do what your father did."

"You're right; I cheated on you the same day I realized I was falling…." Shit, I hope she didn't pick up on that!

"The day you realized what?" She knows what I was going to say, I'm sure of it by the way she is looking at me.

"Nothing…" I break eye contact and stuff the pictures back inside the box. "I should get going its late."

"Alex, what are you doing here this late?"

"Kelly and I had a fight, I needed some air."

"What were you fighting about?"

"It's stupid, she's jealous."

"Jealous of what?"

"My past."

"Oh."

"Yeah, so I guess I should go back to the hotel."

"You don't have to, you can stay here."

"Nah, too many memories here."

"I meant you could stay inside the house, on the couch."

"Too many memories there too." I say mostly to myself, but she knows exactly what I'm talking about.

"Alex, please stay. It's late and I'll make you breakfast in the morning."

"I don't know Iz."

"Please? I don't want to be up worrying about you all night."

"Okay I'll stay."

I still can't say no to her.