Chapter 10: What does this avatar want?

"Did you check the console?" Those were the first words Sheppard spoke when he awoke in the infirmary later that night to see Rodney sitting beside his bed.

"I did," Rodney agreed. "What did you think I was going to find?"

"It's an avatar," Sheppard said, watching for Rodney's reaction. "She lured me down there ... I don't know how but she's manipulating me so I'll do what she wants."

"She?" Rodney raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"Atlantis," Sheppard said insistently. "The avatar is a physical representation of Atlantis ... only she's nothing like I would have expected. She's emotional, angry and impatient, and she clearly wanted something from me."

"You might be on to something," Rodney leant in to speak as privately as possible. "That console gave me access to a whole host of information about the room. Power consumption, imaging records ... there's evidence of a virtual environment existing within the system."

"So she really is real?" Sheppard felt the relief deep down inside. A small part of him had worried that perhaps everything he'd seen, entire conversations with Atlantis, had all been in his head - a part of the whole PTSD thing.

"You doubted it?" Rodney asked, nodding when Sheppard looked at him blandly rather than admit that he had. "Well in this case I don't blame you – whatever this thing is, she's gone to great lengths to cover her tracks. There wasn't any evidence of her appearing outside of that system."

"You don't think it's Atlantis?" Sheppard picked up on that part of Rodney's statement immediately.

"You said it yourself," Rodney replied. "The avatar is nothing like you expected ... you just assumed it was Atlantis because it said so. It's not like you to be so trusting."

"Yeah well Atlantis is the first computer system I've spoken to so intimately – I don't exactly have experience with this!" Sheppard said heatedly. "If it isn't Atlantis how come I'm the only one who can see and talk to her?"

"I don't know," Rodney protested. "I'm just saying don't believe what she tells you just because she said she was Atlantis!"

Calming down slightly Sheppard ran a hand across the back of his neck, looking at Rodney pointedly. "What are we gonna do about this?" Sheppard crossed his mental fingers, hoping that once again Rodney would have a plan to fix things.

"We need more information which means we need to get you out of the infirmary and out from under the suspicion of post traumatic stress disorder," Rodney said firmly. "To do that you have to come clean with everyone about your real connection to Atlantis."

"Rodney," Sheppard winced at the idea. "Everyone already thinks I'm only steps away from being crazy. How is telling them I could talk to the city in my head but now I can do it in person going to make that better?"

"Unless you give them another scenario that explains all your symptoms they're gonna continue to blame everything on the PTSD," Rodney pointed out. "We have to take that out of the equation if we're gonna work out what's really going on. Don't worry - I'll back you up."

"How are we going to stop her from retaliating with more disturbing nightmares?" Sheppard countered. "I'm surprised she's even letting me talk to you like this!"

"I have one idea," Rodney admitted, "but it won't be comfortable – for either of us".

x

"Okay John," Doctor Weir sat at the head of the conference table, surrounded by Doctor Beckett and the rest of team Sheppard, Doctor Zelenka and Major Lorne. "We're all here ... what did you want to tell us?"

"I'm just gonna jump right in," Sheppard said, having already psyched himself up for what he knew would be a difficult few minutes. "This will sound crazy, especially given my recent ... issues. You all know I've always had a deeper connection to the Ancient technology that anyone else with the ATA gene. What you don't know is how deep that connection goes."

Pausing for a moment, Sheppard glanced quickly at the occupants of the room. Elizabeth looked like she knew what to expect and was wondering why John would bother bringing it up. Rodney looked like he was trying to send Sheppard support through the intensity of his gaze. Everyone else just looked confused.

"I can hear the city," Sheppard said quickly, "and I'm not just talking about the hum you know about Elizabeth. I'm talking about actual words ... hell whole conversations."

"You've been talking to Atlantis?" Elizabeth asked with disbelief evident in her voice.

"Since the hydrothermal vent," Sheppard confirmed. "Before that it was just a hum in my head because I was blocking it out. After I got hit with that energy beam I couldn't do that anymore and Atlantis ... spoke to me."

"Why would you keep this from us John?" Teyla asked intently. "My people believe your connection to the city is a gift from the Ancestors. Something you should celebrate, not hide."

"Politics," Elizabeth said simply. "Our positions here are controlled by the military back on Earth, and more importantly by the International Oversight Advisory. If they learn how far John's connection goes they'll want to see if there's any way they can exploit it."

"Is there any proof beyond your word?" Doctor Beckett asked reluctantly.

"No," Sheppard replied starkly. "Are you suggesting my word is no longer good enough?"

"Of course not son," Carson denied. "But the changes you're talking about happened after your last encounter with Kolya. It was a horrible, traumatic thing that happened to you – for once you can't deny that because we all witnessed some of it. Everything you're describing could equally be explained by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"It's real," Rodney spoke up for the first time. "I saw Sheppard in action myself."

"Wait," Doctor Weir held up a hand, glaring at Sheppard in annoyance. "You told Rodney but you didn't inform me?"

"Um ...," Sheppard looked across at Rodney before turning back to Elizabeth. "Blocking communication got really ... painful. Rodney was there when I was forced to give in – he worked it out for himself really."

"So why are you telling us this now?" Ronon's tone gave nothing away about what he thought of the situation.

"About two weeks ago something changed," Sheppard began. "I tried to call on the city to help Rodney work out a new system he'd discovered. Only thing was there was no response – just all of a sudden no words, no hum, nothing at all."

"There is something wrong with the city?" Doctor Zelenka made the same conclusion Rodney had made initially.

"At the time I thought no," Sheppard explained. "But things have happened in the last couple of days that cast doubt on that. The night I left the infirmary I ended up in one of the rooms down in the base of the city and ah ...," he hesitated, unsure how to phrase the next part.

"The city has taken on a physical form," Rodney's impatience had him speaking before Sheppard could finish what he was going to say.

"You're seeing the city now?" Doctor Weir asked incredulously. "How is that even possible?"

"That's the thing," Sheppard replied. "I'm not sure it is possible. Worse than that, I'm pretty sure it's not the city at all." As soon as he said the words the nightmare images slammed into his brain, dragging his attention painfully into that world.

Zap! The device Rodney had rigged to him delivered the wake up call. Sheppard's whole body seized as the electric shock passed through him, making him growl at the pain that brought him back from the dream world.

"John?"

"Colonel!"

"SHEPPARD."

Simultaneous calls came from the others as they watched in dismay.

"It's all right," Sheppard ground out, still shaking from the charge he'd just received. "McKay ... tell them the rest." Slumping down in his seat Sheppard focussed with all his strength to keep his mind in the room.

"Sheppard was confronted with an avatar," Rodney explained. "In this case it's a human form representation of the Ancient users that exists within the systems. Only it seems somehow the avatar has been able to travel outside that virtual world and appear to Sheppard in the physical world. Whenever he's tried to reveal the avatar to anyone else he's been bombarded with nightmare images of the whole Kolya incident."

Rodney grimaced before admitting "the convulsion you all just saw was the electric charge device I rigged up to bring Sheppard back from those nightmares. Don't worry Carson – it delivers just enough charge to get the job done, less than what he'd get from a taser."

"What does this avatar want?" Doctor Weir asked curiously.

"We don't know," Rodney admitted. "The only way to find out is for Sheppard to go back in and speak with her ... which is the purpose of this meeting. Sheppard needs to be able to move around freely – something he can't do while Carson's got him pegged as a PTSD incident waiting to explode."

"Won't that be dangerous?" Teyla asked in concern.

"The avatar can't hurt me," Sheppard, recovered enough to speak, reassured everyone.

"I don't know Colonel," Beckett disagreed. "That last vision looked pretty bloody painful from where I was sitting."

"No," Sheppard denied. "Disturbing? Sure. Distracting? Most definitely. I think that's the real purpose. As long as I'm playing along with what she wants, the avatar will have no reason to do that again."

"What do you want to do now?" Doctor Weir asked seriously.

"Let Sheppard go back into that room," Rodney suggested. "I'll monitor him and the systems from the Control Room. Sheppard finds out what's at the core of this and we fix it. I'll need a few hours to set it up and then we'll be ready to go."

"The worrying thing is that if we assume this avatar isn't the Atlantis I've been communicating with in the past it raises two issues," Sheppard offered in a low tone. "What is it? And more importantly what happened to the real Atlantis?"

"That's what we need to find out. Given the potential seriousness of this you have a go to proceed," Doctor Weir agreed. Standing and nodding to the others, her exit signalled the end of the meeting.

"Well," Sheppard drawled to Rodney, watching as everyone else left without a word or look in his direction. "That went about as well as I expected."