With all of his bad experiences throughout his life, Nick had come to learn that it's hard to remember what happened perfectly. He couldn't tell you what he had been doing other than processing a scene when Walter Gordon had kidnapped him. He couldn't remember what Mrs. Hendler had said to him when she had had the gun on him. He couldn't remember what him and Nigel Crane had talked about when he had installed his cable or when he had tried to kill himself in Nick's house. All Nick could remember was the fear that he had felt and the tightness of his chest as he went through whatever it was, depending on which time it was. He remembered every little detail about the events when they had actually happened, but not so much the events prior to or after the fact.
Nick wanted this time to be different. He wanted to remember everything so that he could know what had happened for sure. He was trying to concentrate and store away everything that was happening. He was thinking about the conversations with Brass and Jason that he had had about an hour ago. He wanted to be able to remember what they had said to him after whatever was going to do down eventually did. But all this thinking and concentrating was only making Nick more tired, and he finally gave in to the fact that he needed to rest.
He went into his bedroom and crawled right into his bed, not changing his clothes. He was still wearing the same jeans and t-shirt that he had had on when Jack had given him the zip disk. He hadn't changed because he didn't want to risk losing or forgetting the drive, so he just kept it on him at all times. Besides, he was too tired to expend any more energy. He sank into the matress and closed his eyes immediatly, fully willing to succumb to sleep and let it take over his body. He didn't care if he had another dream about Jack or if he didn't. All he wanted was to get some rest so that he'd be able to carry out his plan, which would require all the energy he could muster.
Nick had been woken up four hours later by the ringing of his cell phone. He tried to ignore it, but it just kept ringing. He reluctantly slid out of bed and headed back into the living room where his cell was waiting for him on the couch. He was actually surprised at how rested he felt, seeing as how he hadn't slept for more than half of what was recommended for a good night's sleep, but it was sure as hell longer than he had slept in a while.
He didn't think to check the caller ID before he opened the phone, which would have saved him some surprise.
"Hello?" he answered, voiced laced with sleep.
"Meet me in twenty minutes," James' voice came from the other line.
"Why?" Nick asked.
"Why do you need a reason?"
Before Nick could reply, James had hung up. Nick groaned as he shut his phone and put it in his pocket, already heading for the door. He quickly slipped on his shoes and grabbed his keys, knowing that it would take at least twenty minutes to get to where he had to meet James.
James had stopped telling Nick where to meet him a long time ago. It was always the same spot, and Nick knew it as well as anyone else that had been in the city for a while. The fountain outside the Bellagio was the perfect place to meet and talk without drawing too much attention to yourself. People would obviously recognize James Sparazza and maybe even Nick sometimes, but they always knew not to say anything and just kept walking. There was always enough people and buzz around them that they blended in perfectly, just two more people standing in front of the beautiful fountain, watching the water shoot into the air before falling back down, only to be shot up again.
Nick felt like the water in the fountain sometimes. He felt like his life was throwing him up and down, never remaining consistent. He was never happy anymore, but had gotten close to it a few times. Sometimes he felt like things were going to be okay and that he'd get his old life back, and others he felt like he was a lost cause and had hit rock bottom. It was like being on a roller coaster that was going a hundred miles an hour and never staying on one track. Not only was it frustrating, it was terrifying.
Recently, James had stopped meeting Nick at "the spot" and had been sending Jack in his place. Nick and Jack would talk necessary business, then they'd talk about anything other than business. Nick had loved doing it because it was the one constant thing in his life and he had thought he would always be able to have it, until a few days ago.
Nick parked in the lot he always did on the strip, only a minute's walk from the Bellagio fountain. He was there early, which surprised him. He looked at his watch and saw that it had only taken him fifteen minutes to get here from his house instead of the usual twenty to twenty-five. Nevertheless, he walked to the spot right in the middle where they always met and leaned against the cold concrete divider in front of him, staring out at the water.
The sun had gone down behind the Bellagio almost an hour ago, so now the water was illuminated by the bright lights. Or maybe the lights were enhanced by the water; Nick wasn't really sure. Nor did he care. He tried not to think or care about anything right now. He just stood there and tried to enjoy something for once. The harder he tried, the more he failed. It just made him think of Jack and how much he missed him. Nick had never lost someone so close to him before, and he was definitely having a hard time dealing with it.
A firm hand suddenly landed on his shoulder, causing him to jump. He turned and saw James smiling at him in slight amusement. "Sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean to scare ya."
"It's fine," Nick said. "So why did you want me to meet you here?"
James leaned up against the divider like Nick had been doing, resting his weight on his arms. Nick remained standing straight up. "I'm worried about you. After what happened with Jack and being arrested and all, you've had a pretty rough week."
"I'm fine," Nick said.
"Why do you keep saying 'fine'?" James asked.
Nick stiffened. Whenever he had said 'fine' too many times around Jack, the other man had known that he had been lying. Jack was the only one who could tell though, and Nick didn't know how James had caught on. But he did know that James was trying to get Nick to let his guard down by acting like Jack. That's why he had called him here to talk.
Nick would be damned if he let his guard down. "Because I am. I'm just a little over tired and sad about what happened to Jack."
"Yeah, it was awful," James said with no emotion in his voice. Nick knew he was lying. "I just don't want you getting distracted from the task at hand."
"I did what you wanted," Nick said. "I sold all the chips for much more than they're worth. I finished all my other deals, everything's closed. I'm done."
"Are you?" James asked.
Nick nodded. "Yeah."
James cocked his head to the side. "Because I seem to remember you saying you were in indefinitely."
"I was," Nick replied. "Now I'm out."
"But you're so good at it," James said over enthusiastically. "And it's not like you have another job to go back to."
Nick literally bit his tongue to keep himself from saying something stupid. He knew that James had framed him for Jack's murder so that he'd be arrested and therefor dismissed as a CSI. In turn, James would bail Nick out, trying to make him trust him. After accomplishing all that, except for the trust part, James was now trying to pass the whole business off onto Nick, who wasn't having any of it.
"I don't care," Nick said. "I'll work at In 'n' Out if I have to. I'm not doing this anymore, I just wanna be left alone."
James sighed. "I'm afriad I can't leave you alone, you're my son."
Nick's eyes were locked with James' when he felt someone standing close behind him. He had heard foot steps approaching, but hadn't thought anything of it because where he was standing was always busy. But now he was on edge and went to turn around, but never fully made it. He never got to see who was behind him, but he could venture a guess.
The last thing Nick could remember seeing was the water shooting up into the bright lights as everything started to spin. He slowly fell to the ground as the water returned to the fountain, both him and the water waiting to be shot up again.