-1Warning: This chapter contains very mature content.

Anything written in Italic is a flashback of what happened the night before Alex leaves Seattle.

Sorry it took me so long to update, I normally try to update quickly but I have been sick with a bad head cold and have found it nearly impossible to concentrate enough to come up with a chapter! I woke up this morning feeling slightly better and by this afternoon I had half of this written, it didn't take long to finish after that! I hope you enjoy it!

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Chapter 28

I lie here on my new bed in my new house, thinking about my past mistakes and if I had just stayed, would it be different? Her words echoed through my mind over and over. I think about the time before I left Seattle. Six years ago, the words and actions were still so fresh in my mind.

The one night that I managed to screw things up yet again kept popping up in my head. It was the night that Chief Webber got remarried to his estranged wife Adele, well not remarried because they never did go through with a divorce. They renewed their vows in the very same church that Izzie will get married in tomorrow

I sat in the pew by myself; I wasn't in the mood for talking to anyone that night. She slides in next to me, if it had been anyone but her I would've acted like a complete ass until they left me alone.

"Hey, can I sit with you?" Her hair was in a curly mass and the tanned skin above her bust line seemed to shimmer in the low light of the church.

"Why?"

"Honestly? I don't want anyone to know I'm here alone."

"Can't get a date?" I asked her with a half smile.

"No, I guess not."

"That's pathetic."

"God I know!" She laughs.

"Don't worry we'll be pathetic together." I cover her hand with mine and squeeze lightly.

We watch as Chief Webber paces nervously at the front of the church, Shepard stands next to him reassuring him things would be fine. In the second row Meredith sits with Cristina and her date. One more row back George and Lexie sit together chatting, they have been good friends since they became roommates. I look around the room, many faces I recognized from the hospital others I did not. I see the fiery red highlight of a soft wisp of hair falling from the pin at the top of her head, her eyes are cast down to the floor as she pulls a tissue from her small bag that is balanced on her lap. The man sitting next to her leans in and whispers in her ear, she smiles and raises her eyes. The man goes back to looking around the church but I notice she seems to be frozen, her lips part slightly and she offers a slight smile. I follow her line of vision until it rests on a man at the front of the church, his cocky smile is there for the world to see but no one seems to notice but them and me. He winks at her and mouths the words 'I want you.' She shifts uncomfortably in her seat and then looks in my direction. Her face turns a dark shade of red; she knows she's been caught. At what I don't know, I can only suspect. She looks away quickly and I turn my attention back to Izzie who looks at me with concern.

"Alex, you aren't thinking about hooking up with her again?" Her head tilts forward slightly, her eyes more intense as she speaks again. "Are you?"

"What are you talking about?" I try to brush it off but she pushes further ahead.

"I'm taking about Addison; it would be a big mistake Alex."

"Believe me Iz; I have no interest in her. Never did."

"Good because hooking up at a wedding is never a good idea, besides she looks happy."

"If she's so happy why does she keep looking at Sloan like she's about to fuck him senseless?" I ask her.

The music starts and the doors open, Adele walks down the isle in a simple white dress, Izzie's grasp on my hand increases throughout the ceremony. I hear her sniffle; I pull a tissue from the pocket in the breast of my suit and hand it to her. She smiles as she takes the soft fluffy square from my hand.

Later on that night at the reception, I walk back from the bar with two drinks in my hand, a beer for me and wine for her. She was sitting at the table alone; her fingers ran over the crisp white place card that held her name. I never really noticed how sad she looked tonight until that moment. Soft music filled the room; couples took the dance floor and held onto each other as the ballad played on. I placed her glass on the table in front of her, my beer next to it.

"Thanks Alex." She continued to stare at the card.

I held out my hand to her, she looked up at me.

"What are you…."

"May I have this dance?"

Her glowing smile melted my heart as she took my hand and stood, following me to the crowded dance floor. My arm wraps around her waist and I pull her in close, she smells wonderful. She drapes her arms over my shoulders and we start to move together. She scans the room with her eyes and I can only stare at her.

"Adele is the most beautiful woman in the room tonight, don't you think?"

"I don't know, all I see is you."

Her eyes lock with mine and I feel her shiver.

"Can you get us a room?" She whispers in my ear.

Twenty minutes later we are in the hallway of the Archfield Hotel, pressing each other against the walls as we make our way to room seventeen twenty five, kissing feverishly as we go. While our friends are downstairs enjoying the reception we are up here, about to enjoy each other. I press her against the wall, her long leg travels up against my side before settling it around my waist. I touch the smooth skin of her thigh reaching under her dress and cupping her ass. She gasps and I lift her off the ground carrying her a few steps to our room. We are still in the hallway and I don't care who sees us, all I care about is that I need her. I need this.

We tumble into the room slamming the door behind us. Her fingers work over the buttons of my shirt. Her lips kiss my collarbone as she removes the shirt. I pull away for a moment and still her movements.

"Iz, are you sure you want to…."

"Shut up Alex!"

She crashes her lips into mine and parts my lips with her tongue, whimpering as our tongues meet. She pulls at my belt, unhooking it and quickly finding the top button of my pants. I break away from the kiss as I slide the strap of her dress down over her shoulder; it drops effortlessly to her elbow. I reach for the zipper, sliding it down. The dress slips off of her easily. The rose colored peaks of her nipples are taut under my stare. I dip my head, capturing one then the other into my mouth sucking at the stiff buds one by one.

"Oh god, that feels good." She murmurs.

I release her nipple and stare up at her.

"You're so beautiful."

Her hands cradle my face, her thumbs graze across the light stubble on my chin and she guides me back up to her lips. This time the kisses are slow and teasing. She tugs at my pants and they pool at my feet. Soft fingers slide into my boxers, my cock twitches as she tugs slowly along the shaft, twirling her hand as she reaches the tip.

"What was that about hooking up at weddings? I ask nearly out of breath.

I trace the top of her panties with my finger, dipping it inside. She is wet and ready for me. I tease her clit, her eyelids fall shut and she bites her lip.

"Hooking up at a wedding is a great idea." She pants.

"That's what I thought you said." I smile.

I withdraw my hand from her soaked panties and pull the silky scrap of materiel down over her hips, she steps out of them leaving her naked in front of me with the exception of her strappy shoes.

Dropping to her knees she rids me of my boxers and takes me fully into her mouth, sucking intensely. My fingers slide through the curls of her hair as she works me with her tongue. I've got to stop her or I will be done sooner than we both want.

"That feels amazing. Iz, you really gotta stop….before I…"

She smiles as she lets me slip out of her mouth.

I lead her to the bed; she rests comfortably on the mattress. I part her legs and seek out her clit. My tongue darts over the bunched up nerve for only a few seconds when she cries out in orgasm. I love hearing her like this; it's the hottest thing I've ever heard. I continue my assault on her most sensitive area; she rakes her fingertips across my shoulders. It stings for a few seconds and then she grasps the comforter, arches her back and screams out my name.

"Alex! Oh sweet Jesus….I'm cumming again!" I smile against her as I lick until she comes down once again from this sexual high, her body is trembling now.

I roll her over on her stomach and enter her with a powerful thrust. Settling into a rhythm, I rock against her with even stokes. Her fists curl around the comforter and her knuckles turn white as she moans. I pull her hair to the side as I kiss the nape of her neck, bringing us both over the edge together.

I collapse against her, careful not to put all my weight on her.

"I love you Alex." Her words are soft and caring, and in that moment I panic. I've always loved her but it was safe to do so at a distance, she wasn't supposed to love me back.

I pull out and rise off the bed, tripping on her shoes that have come off during our passionate exchange. I quickly find my boxers and pants, slipping them on in a hurry.

She sits up and looks at me cautiously.

"Alex, where are you going?"

"I need a little air."

"Are you coming back?" Her voice cracks. I don't answer. "What's wrong with you?"

"I never should've let this happen."

"Why? I don't understand." She stands.

"This is why you shouldn't hook up at a wedding Izzie, you were right."

"Did I do something?"

"I'm leaving Seattle." I blurt it out and instantly wish I could take it back.

"What? When?" She crosses the room, grabbing the white terry cloth robe from the bathroom and slips it over her naked body, pulling it together closely and tying a tight knot at the front.

"Tomorrow morning, I have a seven o'clock flight to Iowa." I tell her.

"For how long?"

"I'm moving." I slip the sleeves of my shirt over my arms, buttoning the first couple of buttons.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks.

"You're not my girlfriend Izzie, why do you care?"

"I…." She searches for an answer, but I cut her off. Her eyes gloss over with tears as I start to spew forth probably the dumbest thing I've ever said in my life.

"Exactly, you don't! I'm a jerk remember? You should be with someone like O'Malley, he's a good guy. I'm only good enough for a fuck when your lonely or freaked out and I can't hang around forever just to fuck you because George doesn't know how to do it right." I drape the tie loosely around my neck and reach for the door. I stepped into the hallway and she followed me.

"So it meant nothing to you? Just a good fuck?" She yells.

"It meant goodbye." I yell back as I pass Meredith, who has stopped in her tracks. The shock on her face is clearly written.

The last words I hear are.

"I can't believe I ever loved you, you're the biggest ass I've ever met in my life!"

I was an ass, I was scared and I ran. I moved back to Iowa to help my mother who had been diagnosed with inoperable cancer. I had gotten the call that morning and hadn't told anyone except Chief Webber. He made some calls and got me transferred to a hospital just a mile from my mother's home. I intended to come back to Seattle when things with my mother…well I just always planned to come back someday.

She held on for almost a full year. I met Kelly and never went back. Being with Kelly was easy, because she wasn't Izzie. It was safe and I had no real feelings invested, I just didn't care enough.

Izzie was 'the one' for me, I was sure of it. The one girl I would compare every other girl to, they never even came close. I knew that if I was to allow myself the pleasure of being with the girl I loved, I might hurt her in the end. After all, my father always said he loved my mother more than life, and look how that turned out. I couldn't let Izzie be a part of that, so I pushed her away again.

I rollover and look at my watch, it's nearly two in the morning and I haven't been able to sleep. I wonder if she will even want me there tomorrow. I force my eyes shut and try to will myself to sleep, it doesn't work. I groan. It will be a long and painful day tomorrow, especially with no sleep.