-1Chapter 30

I sat outside on the granite steps breathing in the cold air of the morning. The only girl I will ever love is walking down the isle right now and I need a moment to process this.

Her heels click on the cement as she saunters along the walkway. Her red hair tightly pulled to the back of her head made her look cold and unfeeling, much different from the woman I once knew.

"What are you doing out here?" She asks me.

"Doesn't it bother you?" It must because it sure as hell bothers me, it makes me feel ill.

"What? Watching him marry her?" Her fingers travel up the lapel of my suit.

"Yeah." I shrug her off, her hands finding her hips.

"No, not really."

"Are you having sex with him?" I ask.

"Are you having sex with her?" She counters my question with a question of her own.

No, I'm in love with her.

"No." I hold back the whole answer

She smirks and brushes past me on her way into the church, never answering my question. She doesn't have to; I know in my heart that I am right.

The shaky voice of the old man echoed throughout the room. I stood near the door, ready to turn and run in the opposite direction.

"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today…." I thought I could do this but seeing her there at the front of the church holding his hand, about to become his wife….I've got to get outta here, now. "To join this man and this woman in…" I turn, reaching for the door.

"Wait!" Her voice is loud, desperate. It's the one thing that stops me in my tracks, my hand still against the door. I'm not sure if I am imagining it or not.

The old man shakes his head in annoyance. "We haven't gotten to that part yet….If there is anyone here who…."

"How do you feel?" She asks. A low murmur spread through the room, confusion as to what was going on run rampant among the guests.

"I'm in love with you." I say, turning to see all the shocked faces staring back at me. "I've never said that to anyone before. I'm in love with you Izzie Stevens and I'll probably be in love with you for the rest of my life." Sloan scowls at me and clenches his fists at his sides. "I feel lost when I'm not with you!" I continue. I'm not going to hold anything back this time. "I want to have a family with you, little girls with your beautiful brown eyes and little boys that will know their father loves their mother enough to treat her with respect. I want you to feel loved everyday, not just once in a while."

"Izzie, we're getting married here." If I was paying attention I would see his shoulders tensing as I make my declaration.

"I want the first smile I see in the morning to be yours, because when I see it I can't help but smile myself. You're the best thing in my life Izzie; please tell me you feel the same."

"Karev I should kick your ass!" Mark Sloan shouts and takes a step in my direction. He stops when Izzie grabs his shoulder.

"Mark please don't." She steps into the isle in front of him, facing me and sighs. "I want all those things, I do…. but I'm scared."

"I promise you Iz, I won't hurt you again. If you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you, you'll walk down this isle to me and if you don't……if you don't, I'll walk away. I just want you to be happy."

She looks back at Sloan. My heart drops as she kisses him on the cheek. Her eyes search out to mine and I hear the words I was so scared to hear.

"I'm sorry …" Defeated, I turn and hang my head as I prepare myself to walk away. I sigh. "I can't marry you Mark." I freeze. "Alex, I'm in love with you too!" Relief washes over me as I turn to see her hurrying towards me with a huge smile on her face. She leaps into my arms and I hold her tight, fearing she will change her mind at the last minute. Our lips touch, she murmurs into my mouth as I deepen the kiss.

"Are you seriously going to throw this away? For him? I would give you everything, Izzie please?"

She breaks the kiss. "I've been in love with him for a long time Mark….even before you and I……It wouldn't be fair to either of us to get married. "

"I love you." It was a weak attempt, but I expected him to do this on some level.

"I care about you Mark and I'm sorry, someday you will find someone that will love you the way I love him. To be honest…I think you know we shouldn't be together." His eyes dart to the redhead sitting in the middle of the church as he inhales deeply.

"I know. I wouldn't be sleeping with Addison if I really thought this would work." Sloan's jaw clenches and his eyes drop to the floor.

"Oh god you didn't!" Derek says rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, I did." Sloan admits to his friend as he shrugs his shoulders.

I feel her warm breath against my ear as she whispers. "Let's go home."

I smile and lead her by the hand out of the church. Once we are outside she pulls me close to her, I can see the dirty in her eyes and I am anxious to get her alone.

"I can't wait to get you out of that dress." I slide my fingers to the curve of her ass, squeezing gently. Her eyes widen and she bites her lip.

"Where are you parked?" Her fingers search my pocket for the keys. It excites me to know that she wants me so much.

"Do you really want to have sex in a church parking lot? Cause as much as I want you, I don't want to rush it. I intend to enjoy every inch of your body and that's not easy to do in a parked car." I wiggle my brows and smile at her, knowing this sends shivers through her body.

"I don't know how much longer I can wait Alex." Her body rubs against mine and I can feel my cock twitching, a massive erection starting to form.

"Our house isn't that far away, I can get us there in five minutes." I say before kissing her neck. I know it drives her wild and I can't help but lightly suck on the sweet skin of her shoulder next as a soft moan escapes her lips.

"Our house. That sounds so…." She says a little breathless. I look into her eyes and offer a smile.

"Perfect?" I ask her.

"Yes, perfect."