He is my master

Camera Action

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Warning: OOC. Like seriously! Citrus/lime. Bad Language. Perverted Sasuke.

Scene one: In the animal kingdom

It's not everyday when your so called 'master' tells your new best friend that you're his maid and then suddenly he becomes your new best friend whose also your master's maid and… Uh… I just got lost. This is the story of Naruto's life… in the Uchiha Mansion!!

Honestly, it hasn't been bad for the blond, except for the fact that Gaara's a maid, and no ramen, and the stuff that he has to do, and the constant hauling of the Uchiha's when they pass out from blood loss. It's a tiring effort, you know? And I'm sure none of you have ever dragged a Uchiha from the living room to their room. They are quite heavy. Well, Sasuke is anyway.

Now, today we're observing the blond, also known as Uzumaki Naruto, in his new surroundings. You see, Uzumaki is usually a very loud and ramen loving person but in this sort of an environment where it is so easily to get lost and very confusing, the blond is very cautious and very reserved, and also the fact that he's being hunted down by predators. Uzumaki's are usually blond and have big blue eyes, love ramen and have big hearts.

Oh, look here now. This is the number one predator called 'The Master' or as the one known Uchiha Sasuke. Uchiha's are normally very proud of their name and are very possessive of their 'property'. They usually are easily offended and are very cold towards others. On the other hand, his older brother, Itachi Uchiha is the complete opposite. He is rather friendly and very sexy…

Moving on, hey! Who's that? Is that a bug with long hair? Um… let's zoom in shall we? Hey, isn't it that prick who goes to Sasuke's school? That… Hyuuga dude… Neji, wasn't it? Ah… whatever. It seems to me that that Neji is spying on us. He's hiding in the bush… hoping to be hidden. Neji Hyuuga, number 2 predator, right after Sasuke.

And this is the new employee that Sasuke has hired. Sabaku Gaara, another interest in Uzumaki Naruto, number 3 predator. It seems to me, this red head has a better chance than all of them. He seems to have gained a close friendship towards Naruto.

As you can see, it seems that Sabaku and Hyuuga have things in common: they love stalking.

Scene two: Courting

As you can see here, Uchiha Sasuke is courting our dear oblivious Naruto.

"I'm not courting!"

Obviously Sasuke is in denial but it seems that he isn't the only one seeking Uzumaki's attention. You see… predator 2 and 3 are also interested in our blond. One is lurking around outside and have I mentioned that's trespassing property? The other is… well, it seems that Gaara is following the prey around not that Naruto notices but… eh, whatever. I don't understand the strange ways of these predators, they are all very strange.

So, Uchiha Sasuke, predator 1, is ordering Naruto around which is a terrible way to woo.

"Dobe, where's my nail polish?"

"You have nail polish?"

"Yes, it's purple."

I see the young Uchiha is stealing his brother's sexy ways.

And over here you can see Gaara attempting to court the blond.

"Naru-chan, will you help me with my zipper?"

"Gaara, you don't even have a zipper."

And here, you can see Neji (the bug) buzzing around… I mean talking to himself.

"How dare Uchiha order poor Naruto around!? What is Sabaku trying to do?"

These are the ways these dangerous predators seek attention of another even though the prey doesn't seem to notice. That or the predators seducing ways really suck.

Scene three: Interview #1

Okay, let's get started shall we? Uzumaki Naruto, what are you views or opinions living in the Uchiha mansion?

"Erm… well… it's okay, I guess but there's no ramen and the uniform sucks even though my conscience disagrees and master is kind of perverted… no, really perverted and I'm really hungry, do you happen to have food?"

No, I don't have food. So, what is your real opinion on your master?

"Well, he's really perverted (scrunches up nose) and um, he doesn't buy ramen for me so he's really really mean (pouts) but he's okay. I mean, his cooking is good (smiles). "

And what about the new maid, Sabaku Gaara?

"Well, I met him at school today! (Grins) He's like my new best friend! Gaara-kun is really nice but I was surprised Sasuke-teme hired him but that's okay!"

What about the bug?

"Huh? What bug?"

I mean Hyuuga Neji.

"Oh, um… I like his hair?"

Um, okay, thanks for the interview, Naruto-kun.

"It's alright! (Smiles)"

Scene four: Interview #2

Sit down and observe, fan girls because it's time to interview Uchiha Sasuke.

"(Glare)."

Okay, so what do you think about your new maids?

"Naruto is mine! (Glare)."

Erm… and Gaara?

"…"

Yes, where do you get these costumes/uniforms from?

"I make them."

Ah… I see, okay… so any specific views on… anything?

"(Glare)."

Well, no thanks to your crappy answers I wasted valuable time! You stink.

"(Slight pout) (mutters to self) why does no one like me?"

I hated him since he was born. Always giving those useless glares and… (Grumbles).

(Censored)

Scene five: Learn to Cook

In this scene, featuring Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto, Sasuke is teaching Naruto-kun how to cook. It seems to me that our blond only knows how to cook basic things such as rice, stir fry and ramen. He says it isn't good for your health if you only eat ra— HEYY!! I TOLD HIM THAT!! Ah well, so here they are coo— HEYY!! DON'T SPILL THAT, I'LL HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP!! Why is it that I keep getting cut off? Well, they're currently measuring out the ingredients, with Sasuke's help.

"Sasuke, what's this?"

"That is… ew… what is that?"

Erm… Lets listen on into their conversation.

"Okay, so you cook the meat first right?"

"Yeah, HEYY WAIT!! You don't just chuck it in…"

"Then I add the vegetables, yep."

"Um… Did you wash those?"

"I… dunno…"

"Gross… I'm not eating that."

"But I put so much work in it…" (Pouts and sniffles)

"…do you want me to die of food poisoning?"

Well, there goes Sasuke's potential boyfriend.

"Naru-chan!"

"…"

"Don't ignore your master!"

"Fuck off, dickhead!"

"Aw, you're pissed with me"

"…" (Chucks shoe at Sasuke)

This is good drama so you must be quiet or they'll shoo me out.

"Get out!"

Why? You going to have sex?

"Yes!"

"…WHAT?!"

"Nothing Naru…."

"…"

"ITACHI, GET OUT AND STOP FILMING!"

Damn!

Yeah, i'm sorry i haven't updated but life is hard you know. Note2self: School is evil!