Hi everyone!

I wrote this when i just finish reading a sad sbroken story. I decided to create this where i can potray the character of the story almost like how i read them. To me, it almost feel like a short story or a suicide note. Haha, enjoy!

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29/05/08 – My Lie

One lane after another I've destroyed it myself,

But yet you opened another for me.

How many more lanes u need to opened for me to understand the meaning behind those words.

Have I not given u enough clues, have I not gotten myself the terrible mess I have made.

How many more clues do I have to spell them out for you?

The disappointment I have brought to the family, the weight added to your shoulders and the fault of shame to the family name disgraced upon my being and soul.

Aren't I tainted enough with the tears and the cries of frustration stabbing me through and burning every crisp of my that needs the words to strike through your thoughts and understand the possibility of me bringing down everything that you've worked for to strive for a better future crumble to your feet in dust and salt.

The passion, the love, the interests that I have come upon to realize have all wasted and gone before times passes.

The mistakes of every thought, every calculating measurement that brought the edge of the cliff near damaged walls.

I have sight, hearing, and communication that I have lacked many.

What my sight used to see, are the very beginnings of what I portray in true.

What my hearing used to listen, are the failures implied towards others.

And what I have acted and said or say are now being used against me to add more of the punishment that I have created that would lead to my damaged soul.

My truths are now my lies.

My lies are now nothing.

My beings that I am now are lost.

We all have values, and the courage to stand for our rights and wrongs.

But I have lost those values and the teachings.

I lost them in my self-sacrifice for sanctuary.

All I have left is now my sentence, my thoughts and every little bit of salvation to survive the mess through my eras.

One said, "It's our instinct to lie our way out or to tell the truth."

I chose lie because it's the only way for me to seek sanctuary.

The only way for me to serve my sentence as one criminal that has done all wrong deeds.

I have known my whole life the 1st day I brought the disappointment and the shame to your eyes, I have known that I will soon crushed myself without any second thoughts.

I do want to change for my better, but it's all in the good favor's hands.

I have to obey the good favor's that gives me the opportunity to add more of the guilt, the shame, and the disappointment to fill me that leads me to death's door.

I have sentenced myself to this apocalypse that may one day erased my existence completely from the face of time.

I believe in rebirth because everyone deserve a second chance, but I know my rebirth will not happen because that chance is not worth my lie.

I don't know how to approach every matter that I have brought the chaos to every being because I have lost the key to me.

I have lost me. I have lost my way to find me back to where and who I belong. I have lost all. And for that, I regret ever breaking the good favor.

I'll live as an empty space that promises no volume to satisfy those around me. This is my lie.