LOL. I just realized. This is sooooooo crack fiction. But it's the serious kind.

Um, I forget what rating I put this at. If it wasn't T it ought to be.

Okay, on with the story.

Tenten shook her head.

"Eh, I still see pink highlights."

Sakura frowned. They had stopped just before they would reach the town so Sakura could Henge. She'd had a clear picture in her mind when she'd left- or she had thought she had. But she'd been trying to Henge into it for a half an hour now! The whole group was waiting, staring at her- Naruto anxiously, and Neji and Gaara and Sasuke like she was some boring play. Or whatever. Her hair was supposed to be brown, but it kept coming out pinkish, but too pinkish to be mistaken for auburn.

"You don't know what you're supposed to look like," Kakashi remarked. "Try picturing it more clearly."

"This is taking too long," Gaara finally announced. "I have an idea."

He Henged himself into a girl with shoulder-length dirty-blonde hair and dark green eyes, darker than Sakura knew her own to be. "Why don't you just copy what I look like now?"

Sakura looked at him- her?- carefully, trying to memorize every spiky strand and upturned eyelash, and then made the seals. It didn't escape her recently-trained notice, either, that the mood of the group went from mildly amused to moderately tense and Gaara's choice of Henge seemed to be the crux of it all.

Well, if nobody was going to tell her what was going on, then she might as well just do it.

He poofed back into himself and she poofed into the girl at the same time.

He frowned, like she hadn't gotten it quite right. She pulled at a short strand- ugh, it was so weird to have short hair- and noticed it was almost red.

At least it wasn't pink.

"Good enough. At least a strawberry blonde is plausible," Kakashi said. "Keep that up, Sakura."

She nodded, and they began to walk into town, splitting up at the marketplace with strict orders to be back at the forest they had left from in two hours.

Sakura began to get slightly worried when Kakashi walked directly into the shadier part of town.

"Your hair's getting pinker," Kakashi said, frowning like she had better fix it right now. She put more chakra in her appearance. "Slower- I don't want you going from strawberry blonde to yellow-haired like Naruto in two seconds flat. Avoiding attention."

Sakura nodded and tried to keep the chakra at a constant, small, stream.

Gaara kept looking at her oddly. It was like-

Oh... He must have known the girl he had Henged into.

"Who am I?" she asked him quietly, when Kakashi was busy terrorizing some booth owner for directions. He glanced up at her briefly, and then seemed to figure out what she was talking about.

"Someone."

Like that was an answer she was going to accept.

"Who?"

"Why do I have to tell you?"

His answer was at once forceful and quiet. It was short and callous and had every hallmark of an angsty past. Bitten off, was what she thought of, and it made that part of her brain she'd come to call Inner Sakura scream, Because I want to know, SHANNARO!

Except that wasn't really a good answer, and she couldn't think of any more plausible ones, so she ended up biting her lip and turning away.

"Come on guys, this way," Kakashi suddenly said cheerfully. Sakura had no doubt he'd heard their whole conversation. He probably knew who she was Henged as, too, considering his reaction earlier when Gaara had first changed it.

But he had said nothing- did that mean that he was going to just go with it? Did that mean she could ask him?

She would darn well try.

In the same instant she had resolved that, another thing occurred to her. Gaara was the member of the group she felt the least comfortable around, the least like she knew him. Sasuke- he was so hot, how could he be anything but sweet and amazing? Even if he was a little bit cranky at times. Naruto- annoying, but endearing. Neji- cranky too but he respected her enough and she respected him which led to some kind of weird friendship, and Tenten of course held the position of Number One Best Female Friend currently. Even Kakashi she could talk to and not be nervous around.

And yet Gaara never made overtures of friendship to her. The number of times he had even sat by her, voluntarily or otherwise, she could count on one hand, along with the number of their conversations outside of necessary communication.

"Here we are," said Kakashi, and Sakura had been fairly certain she was going somewhere with her thoughts and was slightly annoyed with Kakashi for interrupting them until the door to where they were apparently supposed to be headed opened and Sasuke came face to... well, not face... with the largest female chest she had ever seen.

It was all she could do to not scream and duck away. And okay, so it wasn't like the woman wasn't wearing a shirt but honestly Inner Sakura was wigging out and Sakura couldn't help but take a step back so she could at least see the woman's face somewhere up there.

Gaara looked positively twitchy.

Kakashi, on the other hand, was completely unperturbed as usual. He bowed and did that funny thing that Sakura always assumed was a crinkly-eyed smile underneath his mask.

"Princess Tsunade, how are you doing today?"

"Save the act, Kakashi," the woman supposedly named Tsunade said, taking a very large swill of the sake bottle in her hand, "-and tell me what it is you want. I know this isn't social. You don't bring your little rugrats to social gatherings."

Sakura very much resented being called a rugrat, but on the other hand, she wasn't really enough of a ninja to be considered part of Kakashi's band so she wasn't really who the woman was calling a rugrat, right?

Kakashi's mood changed entirely, in the fluid space of a second. Kakashi was dead serious now.

"I am here, because this one-" he gestured to Sakura, "-is a Healer. Sakura, you can un-Henge now." Sakura formed the Hand seals.

Tsunade's eyes opened. Despite the giant bottle of sake, she evidently wasn't drunk. Sakura saw it in the way she moved and reacted quickly.

"You found yourself a Healer?" she asked, almost reverently. "I haven't seen one in ages, not since that Sand girl-" She lifted a hand towards Sakura gently, like she was going to reach out and touch Sakura's face, stopping herself at the last moment when Sakura flinched away.

Tsunade chuckled.

"I wouldn't harm you." She tilted her head, smiling. "These hands-" she held up her hands, wiggling her fingers, "-just like yours, they are for Healing. Not hurting."

"Tsunade is a Healer, too," Kakashi confirmed before either she or Gaara could ask. "She's famous across Konoha. She disappeared, though, several years back. And a great amount of trouble it was to find her again. You disappeared very well."

"I disappeared with the legality of ninjas," Tsunade muttered, leaning against the doorframe. She had looked twenty to twenty-five before, now she was starting to look older. Sakura was beginning to realize that her words were that of someone... much older than this woman looked. "That fool Gai- he was once a proud shinobi himself. And yet, when I see the horrors that it had come to- the talk of the cruelties in Mizugakure..." She shook her head, and straightened up again. "Kakashi, I will not take her on as a student. You know me better than that, you know how it was- you know what happened to him... You understand what happened to all of them."

"I understand perfectly why you stopped." Kakashi beamed again. "But that's why I do what I do- this country needs the shinobi, it needs the protection that an honest shinobi force can provide."

"And you are taking it upon yourself to lead that force? You always did have a bit of a problem with your pride."

"Well deserved pride."

Tsunade smiled, too.

"Maybe... just maybe, it was."

"It isn't just anyone that can split a lightning bolt, you know."

Tsunade laughed outright this time, a short bark of a laugh. "I remember that! Thought you were just some punky kid, and then you went and you did that and you had chakra burns it took me a week to Heal but you didn't care, you were too full of yourself." She paused, a slow smile spreading across her face. "So, Kakashi. Are you still that punky kid? Have you still got that- pardon the pun- spark?" Her eyes nearly glittered with amusement and something else Sakura wasn't quite sure of.

Kakashi shook his head. "I'm a bit too old and jaded... Though I've got a kid I think you'd like to meet. Says he's going to become the Hokage. I told him Gai abolished that title. He doesn't care a single bit. Says it at least weekly."

When the something else in Tsunade's eyes disappeared Sakura suddenly recognized it as hope.

"Weekly isn't enough, not now. He's got to think of it daily- hourly- minutely-"

"He only says it weekly because I put a restriction on how many times he could say it in a year. Got fed up with it, you see."

"A kid who follows restrictions like that will never get that title."

"I told him he could say it once a year."

Tsunade frowned.

"Who is this kid you're talking about, anyway?" She eyed Gaara. "Is it this one here? No, it can't be. I know exactly who you are, I know what you have inside," she said, gazing at Gaara in a way that obviously made him uncomfortable, because he stepped back a little and Sakura heard the sand rattling in his gourd. "I... met your sister once."

Gaara's eyes widened.

"Where?"

She shook her head.

"Never you mind. Kakashi, who were you talking about?"

Kakashi shook his head.

"It's... that boy."

Tsunade glanced at him curiously. Meanwhile, Gaara looked to Sakura like he was so close to breaking his calm hold over his expression that she was starting to want to inch away before he snapped.

"The only person I can think of that you might refer to as 'that boy' would be... Well, that boy- his son."

Kakashi nodded.

"It is that boy. Minato's son."

Suddenly, Tsunade turned around and disappeared into the back room.

"Sounds promising," she called back over her shoulder.

"He can do it, Tsunade. But he can't do it without help."

"And what sort of help do you expect an old hag like me to provide?"

"Help to a Healer."

"I won't train her," Tsunade continued to call from a back room they couldn't see. "But... I will-"

She reappeared in the doorway of the one room they could see into.

"I will give you this. Say, Kakashi, why did you bring these two along? And not that boy, if you were going to use his story to get me to help you?"

"I thought it might have been a bit too obvious." Kakashi smiled back at her.

"You always did have a lot of nerve."

"I always did need a lot of nerve."

She dumped a bunch of scrolls into a small bag and handed it to Sakura.

"These are my scrolls," she said quietly, staring into Sakura's eyes, and the only word Sakura could think of when she looked at Tsunade's eyes was old. Though tired also fit the bill. "I want them back." She straightened up again, staring at Gaara this time. "And where do you fit into all of this, young man?"

Kakashi explained. "You know of Gaara's ties to Healers. We appointed him to train her, seeing as he was the one among us closest to actually having seen Healer training. That was, of course, before I learned that I had a chance at finding you here."

"True... tell me, Subaku no Gaara, how much of her training did you see?"

"I did not see her actual training... I saw her practicing, and healing my brother."

"Why not you? Oh, right." She nodded knowingly. "Got it. Well, I suppose you're the best they've got."

Gaara shrugged.

"No, no, you'll do," Tsunade added. "Though when I met her your sister never seemed like she'd have the patience for Healing."

Gaara shrugged but he didn't look bored. "She never did." Sakura actually thought that if he were anyone else he might have smiled.

"Well, Kakashi-" Tsunade turned back to their leader. "Anything else you want to bother me with? I've got to pack, since it's obvious I can be found and now I've got to move again."

Kakashi shrugged.

"You could always come with us! Train Sakura yourself-"

"Not a chance."

"Worth a try."

"You've got brats to get back to, Kakashi. You have what you wanted." Tsunade glared at him.

Sakura could see Kakashi's lips twitch up underneath his mask.

"Tsunade, I found you once and I'll keep finding you."

"You do that."

"Don't doubt me."

Tsunade smiled. "I don't."

"Ja ne!"

"Oh- wait!"

Kakashi had raised his hands almost in a seal, but then he stopped.

"Anything else?"

"Girl." She pointed at Sakura. "Come here."

Sakura looked to Kakashi. He nodded.

"What's your name?"

"Haruno Sakura."

"Haruno Sakura, eh? There is one thing that I will explain to you, myself, because I am the only one who can tell you this."

Sakura nodded slowly.

"Your ability to attack is of secondary importance."

"Okay." Sakura nodded and was about to walk away.

"I'm not done yet!"

Sakura somehow managed to execute a perfect one-eighty on her heels.

"Sorry."

"It's all right. Now, let me finish."

Sakura nodded again.

"Tell me why that is."

Sakura thought.

"I have to focus on supporting the team medically, of course. And perhaps combat support if necessary, but mostly medical duties."

"Wrong!"

Sakura flinched at the harsh tone.

Tsunade sighed.

"Your first priority is to evade every attack. To never, ever get hit. No matter what."

Tsunade let a brief pause fall as the her meaning clicked in Sakura's head, and Sakura's eyes widened.

"If you die-" Tsunade spoke quietly, but Sakura heard every word clearly. "Who will keep your group alive?"

Sakura's mouth formed into a small "oh..."

"Get out of my sight, Kakashi."

"Done, Tsunade-hime!"

Tsunade chuckled, and Kakashi formed a few hand seals and touched Sakura's and Gaara's heads, and suddenly they were back in the forest again.

Neji, Tenten, Sasuke, and Naruto were sitting there looking bored.

"Hey, kids!" Kakashi said cheerfully.

"You're two hours late!" Naruto had risen to his feet and pointing at Kakashi in an accusatory manner. Sakura hadn't known it had taken that long.

Kakashi beamed.

"I brought you ramen!" he said, pulling out a cup of instant ramen.

Naruto's angry expression flickered a little, and then completely disappeared as he accepted the peace offering. Well, now Sakura knew that Naruto could be bought.

The rest of the group didn't look so thrilled, but just ignored it, and they began to run back at Kakashi's request. Tenten jumped a little closer to Sakura and leaned in to whisper something.

"Kakashi-sensei's always late."

Unfortunately, Kakashi heard them. He turned to glare at the girls.

"I heard that. I just get lost on the road of life."

Everyone but Sakura groaned.

When they arrived back at camp, Tenten took Sakura aside for a little training.

Instead of sparring, though, Tenten began the training with a little talk.

"Listen, Sakura? I know you haven't had much time to learn all this, and I never expected you to perfect it in a few weeks. I'm surprised you did as well as you did. I mean, you're not stellar, but you didn't have a chance at even outrunning an enemy before this, and now you can at least get in a few good kicks and punches. The thing is, though, you have got to learn faster. Kakashi wants you to be at least fight-worthy in a year, and able to Heal maybe some major wounds in two. So, I've been doing some thinking."

"Yeah?" Sakura asked cautiously. She didn't know where Tenten was going with this.

"You're awesome at chakra control. Like, Neji's impressed at how far you've come since you learned about it... though you're nowhere near what is necessary for complex jutsu, of course. But you're not particularly strong, your only really special skill that we know of is something you didn't even know about until two weeks ago, much less have trained, and you can't possibly already understand the shinobi lifestyle fully enough to really have committed to it."

Sakura didn't much like hearing this, and Inner Sakura was back there screeching her head off about how rude that sort of thing was to say, so she remained silent to seethe.

"So, I say we work on one problem at a time," Tenten said brightly, seemingly unaware of how her previous statement might have been (had been) taken. "I say you get stronger for now, and we'll worry about the rest a bit at a time. Oh!"

She glanced up and back, and Sakura followed her gaze.

Sand trickled out of a nearby tree. A low, leafy branch obstructed Sakura's view of who was sitting there- though she already knew- until-

Gaara dropped out of the tree. He landed very gracefully, as a ninja ought, and stood up slowly. His was the sort of presence that wasn't easily ignored, and Tenten didn't continue talking after she had seen him.

"I wanted to observe your training," Gaara said simply to explain his presence. "To see how you were doing."

Tenten nodded.

"Well, in that case, do you have any ideas? I had one, but-"

"I don't think she should use the weights," Gaara said, frowning at Tenten. "That doesn't seem her style."

Tenten's shoulders drooped.

"But that's the only training I'm good at teaching!"

Gaara shrugged.

"Well, I guess you can use them... if you really want. But I found something among the scrolls Tsunade-sama gave to us."

He handed it to Tenten.

"Uh, that's really hard," Tenten said, scratching her head.

Gaara nodded.

"She needs to practice more," said Gaara. "She's got very good chakra control for someone who's only been practicing for about a month. It took years for Naruto to walk up a tree."

Tenten giggled in a good-natured way. "Don't be too harsh on him, he's got it worse than the rest of us. Hey! You should know."

Gaara shrugged, but Sakura could swear she saw his lips turn up at the corners a little bit. Which was about equal to a normal person's laugh, anyway.

"Anyway, Sakura, I think we'll save this for later. Heaven knows I couldn't do this jutsu. So, we'll fit her with the weights?" she asked Gaara.

Gaara surveyed Sakura for a moment.

"If you want to so badly, it couldn't hurt."

"Here," said Tenten excitedly, turning to Sakura. "These go around your ankles." Tenten put in Sakura's arms a pair of bands. She nearly fell over with the weight. "We'll add to them over time."

"Um, okay," said Sakura slowly, fastening them around her ankles. She could still lift her feet, but barely.

"Training's over, to give you awhile to get used to having them on. But it's back tomorrow!"

Tenten skipped out of the clearing, probably just because she could. Sakura managed to drag her feet back to camp. Goody. Training tomorrow.

Sakura could hardly wait.

AN TIME

Ouch. Orthodontia is so much fun. But on the bright side, I am thrilled about something else entirely. Long story. But yeah, I just felt like posting something today. I'm so sorry I briefly abandoned this! Anyway. It's four in the morning, and I think I will go to bed. :D Have I said I love reviews lately? Well, I do. HINT HINT HINT Even if I don't manage to reply to it promptly or even by the next chapter (in which case I completely and sincerely apologize sometimes I'm not so great and I'll think I've responded when I haven't), reviews are love.

Thanks for reading! :D Hope to see you next chapter! Which, um, there is no time frame for as of right now but it is in the works.

This I believe is the shortest chapter-ending AN I have ever written.