Hello again!
Right, another chapter.
Hope this meets standards! Cause I still liked writing it!
Thanks again for the heaps of support.
And remain faithful! This is a Ten/Martha story! I just like making them fight...and then...maybe...if I'm feeling good; kiss and make up.
Read on!!
CHAPTER 3:- SEEING RED
Martha was in the middle of explaining the frontal lobe and its degeneration which caused dementia when the Doctor approached her.
He stepped up beside her, and cleared his throat, which caused her to stop.
Remembering her supposed anger at him, she didn't look up.
"Yes?" she said softly.
"I need to collect some of your DNA to finish the scan. May I please borrow your hand?" he asked; his tone completely neutral.
Martha raised her hand and held it out to him, keeping her eyes on the floor.
The TARDIS had gone silent, even the usual hum seemed to have faded into the background as the Doctor's cool fingers wrapped delicately around her wrist.
He pressed something cool and circular to her palm and held it there.
Unable to help herself she looked up at her hand, and at the Doctor's hand.
He was staring intently at their joined hands, a little too intently.
There was something calming about the coolness of his hands, something that made her feel safe and wanted and protected; and that nothing that he had said really mattered in the face of how much she actually loved him.
Their eyes met and she could see how lonely he was; she could see how much pain she was causing him by doing this.
No.
He did not deserve what she was doing.
There was a sudden beeping however and their moment was broken.
As soon as Martha broke eye contact with him, he released her and stepped away, murmuring something under his breath that sounded like a 'thank you'.
The moment was lost and Martha forced her anger again by quickly turning back to Malikai.
"Where was I?" she asked, loud enough to make sure the Doctor heard.
She wanted the Doctor to know that this wasn't going to go away if he batted his eyelashes at her.
Though; his eyes were very attractive.
A flash of fury rushed through her at herself.
She needed to stay angry; she couldn't double back on herself and throw herself at the Doctor.
That had happened before and it had taken her months to get over it.
Tom, no matter what the Doctor thought, was a genuinely wonderful man with absolutely no qualms about getting close to someone.
She loved him and he loved her and that was enough.
Regardless of the Doctor.
'How many times do you have to reassure yourself that you're doing the right thing?' That tiny smug voice in the back of her head spoke up.
She really had to shut that up.
"Frontal lobe degeneration," Malikai said softly.
With a resigned nod, Martha cleared her throat and began her explanation again, but her mind was elsewhere.
Elsewhere on the Doctor to be precise.
Maia pressed a few of the buttons with the same expertise as the Doctor, while he himself entered the DNA scans from all four of them.
He made sure to keep a close eye on her, as he knew how dangerous playing with a TARDIS could be. When he had first entered one all those years ago, he'd almost caused a black hole.
In hindsight it was funny, but not when he was being berated by the headmaster of the Prydonian Academy. He'd almost been expelled, but even back then he was able to talk his way out of sticky situations.
"You're quite good at this," The Doctor commented.
Maia glanced up from the monitor, and grinned proudly.
"I learnt from the best. Ever since I was able to reach the top of the console, you began to teach me all about the workings of it. I know I'm nowhere near as good as you but I'm getting there." Maia said.
The Doctor frowned and glanced at Malikai.
"What about your brother?" he asked softly.
"Nah, he never got into it…preferred to pour over all the books in the library with Mum, learning about anatomy and biology and all the other science-y stuff. He's an egg head" Maia said, and the Doctor couldn't help but laugh out loud.
"Egg head? What's wrong with being intelligent?" he chuckled, missing the quick glance Martha gave him.
Maia shrugged as she grabbed hold of a lever and slowly pulled it down, watching the reaction on the monitor.
"I suppose not. But I'm intelligent, and I don't stick my head in a book any second that I'm not sleeping or eating. I prefer to stick my hands in it. Get messy and make mistakes. It's a lot better…life experience you always tell me," she said offhandedly.
For a moment, he froze, his hearts thudding painfully in his chest.
This really was his daughter; she acted like him, she spoke like him, he could see his own smile on her face.
It was a real struggle not to grab hold of her and squeeze her tightly, offering her anything she wanted.
He'd gone soft on her already.
Yet it was still difficult to actually look at her and instantly see his daughter, or look at Malikai and see his son. He had to remind himself.
A sudden bleeping alerted him to the fact the TARDIS was done.
Maia was suddenly in his back pocket, peering around his arm excitedly.
The Doctor grabbed hold of the monitor and swung it around to face both of them. Martha and Malikai had gone silent and were staring expectantly at the pair.
The complex pattern of symbols and circles, all based on math that was the Gallifreyan language, flashed onto the screen and the Doctor converted the figures into Earthen hours.
He frowned at the length of time and hissed at his ship in his mind.
He wasn't happy.
The TARDIS was doing this on purpose, he was sure. She was trying to get him and Martha to make up so that she could feel the joy of having young children tramping around inside her.
'It won't work like that. I'm not talking to her. No matter what you do!' he snarled telepathically.
His sentient ship merely hummed softly; telling him.
'We shall see.'
He hated it when she pulled her weight on him, when she reminded him that he was merely a pilot and she had the power in their relationship and could make him do almost anything while travelling with her.
"What is it?" Malikai asked.
Maia seemed unable to convert the figures so she nudged her father.
"Dad?" she murmured.
The Doctor groaned and hung his head, gripping the edge of the console tightly.
"It's going to take 24 hours to lock onto the TARDIS that they came from…minimum." He said softly.
Taking the risk, the Doctor glanced up at Martha to see a look of stormy rage pass over her face.
One thing was for sure.
He wasn't looking forward to the next 24 hours.
The Doctor took the TARDIS into the vortex to make sure that Martha didn't miss her wedding, no matter how badly he wanted her to.
He sent the kids to their rooms, so he could have a while to think.
Martha had left the console room and had disappeared into the TARDIS; he didn't know where, but he had a feeling that she was in her old room.
There was no way that he was going to go and find her; he preferred to keep his head intact because he could tell she was furious at him.
If she did end up coming at him, he would defend himself by saying that it was the TARDIS doing this and not him. If it were up to him, she would have been married by now.
'Liar.'
Glaring up at the ceiling, the Doctor refused to answer his ship.
'If it were up to you, she would never be married. I am doing what you truly want.'
'Don't give me that!' The Doctor responded telepathically.
A wave of smugness rolled over him, residual feelings from the sentient ship.
'I am merely telling the truth, Time Lord.' The TARDIS said softly.
Growling angrily, he stalked around the console. There wasn't any come back for that; he could not lie to his ship as she could see right through him.
'Regardless of what you think, Time Lord, I know that you love her. You love her as much as you loved Miss Rose.'
'Don't talk about her. She's gone…long gone, nothing more than a memory…the same as Martha.' The Doctor replied.
'As you wish, Time Lord. Yet you may wish to know that Miss Martha is approaching from the northern corridor.' The TARDIS said softly.
The Doctor looked up, just as Martha walked into the console room from the northern corridor as the TARDIS had warned.
They made eye contact for a moment before he looked down sharply and began to press a few broken buttons, making himself look busy.
Nothing was said between the two, they simply tolerated each others presence.
Martha slowly walked around to the Captain's chair, and eased herself onto it.
The Doctor refused to look up at her; reached out and pulled the monitor around to him then pressed a few more of the broken buttons.
Taking a deep breath, Martha cleared her throat.
"Are we going to talk, or are we going to keep avoiding each other like this?" she asked slowly.
Not looking up, fearing that his eyes would betray his voice, he shrugged.
"Whatever you want," he said neutrally.
"I want you to know that no matter what you do, I'm leaving as soon as the teenagers go." Martha said sternly.
Still not looking up, he reached down to pat around the underside of the console for a lever that didn't exist.
"I know," he murmured.
"Do you?" Martha asked, patronizingly.
Unable to control the sudden wave of anger, his head shot up and he glared at her.
"Of course I do! I'm not an idiot! I know what you want Martha, and I know that you don't care how you get it!" he snapped.
Her eyes hardened and she straightened.
"That's rich coming from you!" she said acidly.
A cold laughter rose up from inside the Doctor and he stood up straight too, preparing for an argument.
"Oh, is it? Don't I have a right to comment on what I see?" he asked coldly.
"No, you don't! You don't have any sort of right to comment on my life! You don't understand what I went through!" Martha growled.
"I understand that I put you through hell. But you could LET IT GO! I am so sorry for what I did to you! And I have said as much. I turned up at your wedding, intending to sit there and watch you marry some human that I knew you didn't love enough. I intended on sitting there and watching you head into a loveless marriage that was BOUND to end in heartbreak." The Doctor said, powerless to stop himself from opening his hearts and firing all the thoughts that had been flying around inside him.
Yet she wasn't even slightly affected.
Standing up, she walked around the console to stand before him, much shorter than him but much more menacing than the Doctor could have ever comprehended.
"You wouldn't have a clue how I feel about Tom!" she hissed.
"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. But I know you! I know you better than you think, Martha Jones. And I can't help it! As much as I have tried, I can't help it. I can't help but think about you! Do you think I would have done all this if I could have possibly helped it?!" the Doctor was struggling not to yell.
"YES!" Martha screamed.
They stared at each other for a moment longer, before Martha shuddered violently and stepped away from him.
Groaning in frustration, he pressed a hand to his forehead.
This wasn't the way to do things. He had to try differently; use a different emotion other than the raging anger he had at her stubbornness.
Taking a deep breath, he stepped up to her again, as close as he could get without actually making contact.
"I know what I did to you. And I know why I did it. And I know I was wrong. I know that I hurt you and I know that what I did was not for either of our benefits. And I know what I want now." The Doctor said softly, his eyes staring hard into hers as she turned, carving holes into her very soul and burning her up from the inside out.
She looked returned the gaze, but there was an element of intimidation he had now for some strange reason.
Martha was staring at him with some emotion that the Doctor couldn't identify.
It was her turn to take a deep breath and change her approach.
"Stop it. You can't do this," Martha said, her voice soft and with very little authority, which only served to encourage the Doctor.
"But I am doing this. And I will. And I'll keep doing this until you tell me that what I am doing is right, that I am not delusional in thinking that you still love me." He spoke as quietly as he could without his words turning into unintelligible murmurs.
He had just asked her the only question that mattered, whether or not she still loved him.
If she did, then he would finally have the upper hand and just may be able to turn this whole thing around.
If she did not…then he would have lost.
Yet something inside him spurred him on.
The whole time she was looking at him, he could see a spark of affection in her eyes.
Whether or not that was love, was about to be revealed.
She swallowed hard and shut her eyes, ducking her head slightly.
"No," she murmured.
His hearts clenched and he struggled not to let the doubt that had suddenly sprung into his mind show on his face.
As she opened her eyes, he couldn't help but feel the doubt seeping into his eyes.
"What do you mean?" he spoke neutrally.
Something close to sympathy shone on her face, before she drew herself up.
"I said no, Doctor. I don't have feelings for you, you are delusional and I'll never tell you that what you are doing is right. I am getting married and like I said, no matter what you do I am still walking out of here as soon as the kids are gone." She repeated, elaborating, just to make sure that there was no mistaking what he had heard.
Fear began to replace the doubt.
No.
No, he couldn't be wrong.
Not on something this big.
Not on something he was this sure about!
No.
He stared deeply into her eyes, looking for some sort of lie.
But there was none.
She was staring at him, sympathetically.
"You can't do this." She whispered softly.
Something inside him broke in that moment.
Gasping slightly, he stepped away from her like he'd been burned. He almost tripped over his own feet trying to get away.
It was over.
Everything. It was all over.
She didn't love him.
He'd lost.
Taking a few deep breaths, he pushed against the burning at the back of his eyes and against the rising lump in his throat.
Averting his eyes, he thought desperately for something to distract himself with.
"Uh…I…I…M'so sorry. I d-dunno what I was doing…" he murmured softly.
"Doctor…" she began.
Her voice was soft, and as alluring as they day that she met him and he met her. There was no possible way that he could listen to her speak anymore.
He shuddered and shook himself, trying to rid himself of the cold that was creeping around him.
"Doctor I can't be with you. I'm getting married. I know what I want in life…and if you walk in…I'll loose that. I don't have a place for you in my life anymore…and that's just the way it is." Martha said softly, but despite her gentle tone of voice, there was no softening the blow to him those words made.
Wincing, he thought desperately for something to say. But nothing came to mind.
There really was nothing he could say to change what Martha had decided on.
Her life was her life and if he didn't have a place in it…then that was the way it was going to be.
Full stop.
Yet, why was it so hard to accept that?
Slowly, he nodded not looking up from his shoes.
The only thing he could do was walk away.
"M…M'gonna go and…and…uh…" he mumbled, before turning.
She wouldn't care where he went anyway. He didn't have a place in her life any more…so he could go.
So that's what he did.
Dejectedly, he walked away from the console room, heading to no place in particular.
He still had a job to do, but now had heartbroken hours to burn.
Martha watched the some what diminished form of the Doctor leave the room and she couldn't help but feel as if she had done the wrong thing.
Was she really telling the truth when she had told him there was no place for him in her life?
Of course not.
He had the same place Tom did, if not higher.
But she had self respect.
She couldn't do what he wanted and live with herself, her life had been planned out and that was what she was going to adhere to.
'Really? Are you sure? Are you really, very sure?'
That niggling voice was back, sneering at her guilt and second thoughts.
It had been troubling her all day, speaking ill of her actions against the Doctor.
Speaking what she truly felt in fact.
Shutting her eyes tightly against the oncoming flood of tears, Martha thought desperately of Tom.
Yet, now, after what she had just done, she didn't think of him as she did before.
The Doctor was right.
She loved him, but not nearly enough to marry him.
It was like a best friend love; she was only marrying him as she felt as if she needed a sort of rock to cling to. As when the Doctor next came around with that charming grin and boyish face; she was drifting again, closer to him. Her old feelings for him resurfacing with the same intensity as when she had first felt them.
And she couldn't have that.
Her reasoning was that if she were married, then she could combat those feelings on some level, reasoning that she had commitments now.
All of this was done on a subconscious level, yet…she still felt as if she'd known all along.
Those tears in her eyes were now streaming down her cheeks, unchecked.
What could she possibly do?
She'd turned him away in the most gruesome fashion to only realise that everything he had claimed was right.
No self respecting person, be it human or Time Lord would take her back after what she had said to him.
'I don't have a place for you in my life anymore'
Lies.
All lies that had spilled from her mouth.
Martha knew she was wrong and it was too late to do anything about it now.
Sobbing quietly, she sat down next to the console in her wedding dress and cried her eyes out.
Massive fight!
And truckfulls of angst!
Hooray!
Or not hooray...well...I know what happens!
Hopefully you all will too, soon!
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