Right, some good news and some bad news.
Well...good news is that this chapter has finally made it to the internet.
Bad news is that it is not betaed. My lovely Beta is away on holidays, so this is pretty...well...unspellchecked. Hopefully though, you can overlook that fact.
It is a little late and I am sorry for that, but life has particularly been hard on me lately and I've had some serious troubles getting to the computer.
Hectic week last week, with a capital H.
But thats over now. And hopefully, I'll be able to stick up another chapter of my other story.
Read on!
CHAPTER 6:- The Silver Lining
The Doctor had not moved from his place next to the console on the floor.
He was no closer to making a decision about himself as he was too busy thinking about the pain and suffering he had gone through for so long.
A low whimper escaped him.
But his mourning was interrupted by the sound of the door closing.
His head shot up and to his utter surprise, he found Martha standing there still in her wedding dress, glaring at him with baleful eyes.
"What is the matter with you?!" she snarled.
The Doctor looked up at her, but knew that he didn't have the heart left in him to get angry.
"Nothing. I thought you were gone…" he mumbled and rested his forehead on his knees again.
She didn't move.
"I came back to talk to you, but seeing as you are sitting here, feeling sorry for yourself, I don't see much point! " Martha said.
He took a deep shuddering breath then turned his head to look at her.
"Did you come here just to insult me?" he asked softly, absolutely no hint of anger anywhere in his body.
Her frown faltered when she noticed this.
For a moment she was speechless.
"I suppose that it makes you happy. I hope I'm worth that much…you can go" The Doctor said tonelessly, then returned to his original position.
Yet still Martha didn't move.
"Aren't you going to get angry?" Martha asked, her voice only full of concern now.
The Doctor shrugged.
"No point" he sighed.
Martha strode over to him and knelt in front of his curled up form, before gently lifting his head.
She caught a proper glimpse of his tear stained face and her eyes softened.
"Oh my god…you really meant it…you really do want me back." She said.
"Did you think I was lying?" he said dully.
"No, I just thought you were jealous and you didn't want me to marry Tom or maybe even upset that the kids were gone…you know…feeling sorry for yourself because you wouldn't ever get them…I didn't even consider the possibility of you actually being serious." Martha admitted.
He looked at her, took in her beautiful face and his eyes began to well with tears again.
Instead of that numb feeling that he had had when she walked in, sorrow filled him up.
"I was serious…everything I said…I meant every word…I love you Martha Jones. I can't help it…t-those kids…they…they made me feel so alone…I was desperate…and…and I couldn't help it…" he sobbed, trembling.
Her arms wrapped around his shoulders as she pulled him into a hug.
He grabbed onto her, clinging to her desperately as he cried uncontrollably, shivering and quaking as he wept.
"It's alright…it's okay. I've got you" Martha murmured the mantra over and over again.
Time passed and soon he simply sat there, clinging to her despondently, no longer able to cry but continuing to tremble terribly.
For the fear of being alone after such raw emotion terrified him.
"Are you alright now…" Martha murmured.
It took him a few deep breaths to be able to muster the steadiness of his voice.
"…D-Don't leave…please. Don't leave. Please, Martha…please" he stammered softly.
He could tell she was worried about him, but he couldn't tell whether or not she loved him back.
Yet, Martha was here, with him. That had to be a good thing. For a moment, he forgot about the children and forgot about their fight, and simply lived in the moment.
"I'm not leaving you…it's alright. But…maybe we should go somewhere more comfortable. Somewhere, where you can get some rest." Martha said gently.
From the connection with his ship, he felt the TARDIS give him an affirmative nudge as she swapped the rooms around so that his bedroom was closest to them.
"M'kay…" he whispered.
So she helped him up, supporting him as he was weak physically too, the emotions that he had bottled up tearing everything from him other than his being.
They walked to the door and opened it to find his bedroom, rather messy, but still with a bed in it.
She helped him over to it and he gratefully sank down onto the soft mattress.
Exhaustion threatened to over come him, but he held on as Martha removed his shoes, his suit jacket and his tie.
"There we go." She said as she swung his legs up onto the bed and covered him with the blankets.
Like a loving mother, she tucked him in and fluffed his pillows, making soft crooning noises.
Sleep washed over his consciousness in tidal waves that proved impossible to hold back.
He looked up at Martha thought half closed eyes to see his children again, to see both Maia and Malikai. A rush of affection for the woman that sat with him passed across his hearts and from somewhere deep inside, he felt them begin to beat again.
As he lost his grip on awareness, he could only hope that Martha would still be with him when he woke up, so that they could seriously talk about all that had happened that day.
Martha watched with such a heavy heart as the Doctor relaxed back onto the pillows, the look of utter desolation and fear on his face melted away.
It wasn't all her fault, just a big part of it.
Everything that she had done to him had resulted in this and now she was looking at what was left.
Her fault…
Taking a deep shuddering breath, Martha shook her head, blinking back the tears.
If she was going to be there for him, she needed to be strong for him.
No tears, not crying, no moping about.
She was going to be strong.
He deserved as much.
Thankfully he was asleep now, where the only things that could hurt him now was nightmares.
But she knew a trick to get him to sleep with absolutely no dreams at all.
So he could get the most rest he could.
With extra care, she snuck from the room and down to the TARDIS kitchen.
Quickly, she managed to make a cup of tea and bring it back to his bedroom, where she gently set it down on the bedside table.
The sweet smell radiated, and thankfully the Doctor breathed deeply, inhaling the scent of the tea.
"There we go. That should help you. Sleep well now" Martha said running her hand though his hair.
Leaving him to sleep in peace, Martha walked from the his room back to the TARDIS' main area where she settled herself on the Captain's Chair.
As she did so, she glanced down at her wedding dress, feeling beyond stupid now.
"Well…he did manage to ruin it after all." She sighed to no one in particular.
From around her, there was a sympathetic hum.
The TARDIS was communicating, or trying to communicate with her.
"Hello there, old girl. I missed you" she said.
Leaning forward, she pressed a hand to the console.
'I missed you too'
Martha leapt away from the console, fear suddenly racing through her.
Did she just hear that?
Did someone just talk inside her head?
The ship around her seemed to be pushing her back to the console, only gently but there was still a push on her mind.
Slowly, she replaced her hand on the coral ridge.
'Do not be afraid, Miss Martha. This is no different from simply humming to you. This is simply more distinct'
For a moment Martha was too stunned to reply.
The TARDIS was talking to her.
She really was!
"Uh…o-kay" she stammered uncertainly.
'I wanted to thank you for coming back for the Time Lord. I have known him for centuries now and I have never seen him so distraught over the loss of a woman'
Martha did feel like a bit of a prawn, talking to something as old and as powerful as Time about her relationship problems.
"I honestly didn't think he was serious. I thought that he was just trying to keep me single. Just…the jealous type" Martha said.
'I understand how that thought could have been conjured in your mind. Yet, the Time Lord is not as predictable as you seem to think he is. He has loved you utterly from the moment you stepped into this dimension. Many times, did he converse with me over his feelings for you, many times did he stand in your doorway and watch you sleep, simply wishing to know that you were still there.'
Something touched her heart, something indefinable.
He cared that much for her, and she'd done this to him.
Unconsciously, Martha removed her hand from the console and walked slowly back to the bedroom where she had left the Doctor.
Tentatively, she peered in, checking that he was still there.
He was, curled up under the covers, so far away from all the problems of reality.
He was probably lying on the slopes of Gallifrey, one hand behind his head and the other with its fingers lost in the deep red grass. One of the most contented looks upon his face she'd ever seen. He was utterly alone, but didn't at all seem lonely.
Not when he was home.
The TARDIS hummed and the image faded, obviously it had been a figment the ship had injected into her mind.
With a deep sigh, Martha returned to the console and placed her hand on the coral ridge.
"…I never knew how badly he suffered…he looks so happy in his dreams." She said.
'Looks can be deceiving, Miss Martha. He is desperately lonely. He wishes that you were with him, laying next to him. But he is at peace in his dreams. Without any sort of interference from me, he would be lost to his nightmares…that is why he never sleeps outside my walls. The nightmares of fire and blood and screams and ash would consume him.'
An image of a scene leapt before her eyes and she saw an entire planet ablaze. It's red surface glowing with fire, and she could feel the beings walking on the surface screaming in fear and horror as they died.
Mighty cracks began to tear the planet apart, ripping it into millions of pieces before an explosion, bigger than Martha could truly comprehend, radiated outwards across space.
The sonic waves from the destruction of the planet tore into another, a black orb of sinister origins.
That planet was tore asunder too.
Then, it was gone and Martha found herself sobbing and trembling.
"Is that how it was? Was that what I think it was?" she asked softly.
'The final moments of the Time War. The destruction of both Gallifrey and Skaro. And the Time Lord stood upon the brink of sanity watching what he had caused. The power of a god flowed in his veins…and it was too much for him. He had to regenerate. It has been two incarnations since then.'
A question sprang to the human's mind, and seeing as she was eager to change the subject from the horror she had seen, she asked it.
"How many regeneration has the Doctor had…and how many has he had?"
'The Time Lord has been through nine separate regenerations. Ten incarnations of the same being. He can only ever regenerate twelve times…his life will come to an end soon. And he will be at peace.'
The tone of the telepathic voice seemed to be dreamy and hopeful, rather than fearful as Martha felt.
"I don't want him to die" Martha stated.
'Nor do I, Miss Jones. If his existence ends, then so does mine. Yet with a being as old as he is, he deserves what the after life has to offer him. Whatever that may be.'
Martha sighed, shaking her head.
If he died; then the TARDIS would die…and the great race of the Time Lords would come to an end. That wasn't something she could let happen.
"What about the children…if you're a Time Capsule, can you see into the future? Can you see…our future?" Martha asked.
'I see many things, Miss Martha. But none can be divulged to a human mind…you fear for your children and your future…do you not?'
That was a little bit of a bummer; the TARDIS could see it. Probably as clear as day, and yet she could not say a word about it.
"Yes…I do…I mean…I love the Doctor, with all my heart…but…I'm not sure I could have children with him. I'm not sure it would be right." Martha said.
'You feel obligated to the future, to uphold what you have been shown to be what must be'
Why was this ship so wise?
Then again, Martha had to remind herself that the ship was sentient and probably could read her thoughts like a book.
"Yes…if you put it that way" Martha murmured reluctantly.
'That, Miss Martha, cannot be the reason for the children. You know this as well as I do. Children must be bourn of love, and not because of a need. Need can shatter a delicate relationship, such as yours and the Time Lord's. Neither would be benefited from it.'
The TARDIS reminded Martha suddenly of a grandmother, speaking softly and gently, but with such wisdom and authority that it sent shivers up her spine.
Sighing deeply, the human hung her head.
"I know…but…I can't possibly leave my life that I've built to be with him. I…I belong there…with my family, my stable job, my home…my friends." She said.
Another sympathetic hum reverberated from the walls around her.
'Life as a Time Lady is not easy. Mistress Romana learnt as much. But you are resilient, Miss Martha. Employment in my understanding comes as goes as the Time Winds change. Friendships can be forged in any furnace. And as the old Earthen saying goes…Home is where the Heart is, Miss Martha. That is all that should matter'
"A…and what about my Family?" Martha stammered.
'I am a Time Capsule, Miss Martha. I can take you back to them upon the slightest whim. All that is required of you is to ask me, and I shall obey. Regardless of the Time Lord's wishes. I know through the Time Lord the pain of loosing those who are deemed 'family'. If you wish, then we shall go.'
A rush of affection for the ship surged up inside Martha Jones, but she still was reluctant.
"I don't know…I…I-I need time to think of it." She whispered, half to herself.
'Time is something we have in abundance, Miss Martha'
"But the Doctor will never agree to letting me walk out that door! What's to stop me from just walking out on him and never coming back…no. He won't…" Martha said, becoming a little more distressed.
She felt pressured, like she was being forced into something she wasn't even sure about.
"You'd be surprised at what I'd agree too when it's put to me in such a way, Martha Jones" The Doctor's voice came from behind her and she spun around to see him standing in the same room as her, his hair a mess and his eyes rather bleary.
"I thought you were asleep!" she snapped, unable to stop herself.
"I was and I have been for the past three and a half hours. You two have been talking for that long. She tends to bend time a bit." The Doctor said.
Martha looked up at the ship and took her hand away from the console, feeling slightly betrayed.
"Don't look at her like that. She didn't tell me anything. I was listening for myself. She did nothing wrong. But…the problem still stands…about the future. About us…" The Doctor said.
Martha frowned, feeling totally out of place now.
Talking about having children to save the future with an alien in his sentient ship, while she was wearing a wedding dress on her wedding day to a man who was waiting for her back at the church!
"Look…I don't know. Either way…I'm just so confused…I can't think straight…there's too much too soon!" Martha said, backing away from him like he was a threat, despite him remaining where he stood.
He watched her, passively, not making any sort of movement and not showing any sort of emotion.
"If you need time Martha…then go. Walk out that door and take the time you need. I won't stop you, and neither will the TARDIS" the Doctor said slowly and clearly.
Faltering a little, she stopped about half way to the doors, frowning.
"But what about Maia and Malikai? What about the children?" Martha asked.
The Doctor shook his head.
"This isn't about the children. It's about us" he said.
Her frown deepened.
"But I thought you'd demand it…time lines and the future and all that" Martha said, despite talking to the TARDIS, she wanted to hear it from the Time Lord.
Taking a deep breath, the Doctor began.
"Having a child is a big step. The future is not written. I know what the TARDIS said, but it doesn't have to be that way. If you don't want it, then it won't happen. If you want to, you could walk out that door right now. But no matter what you do, I'm never going to stop loving who you are, and what you are. If you want to stay, you can. If you do want those children, you can have them. But I personally feel that if you say yes, it'll take time. I don't want to ruin our relationship by doing it too soon." he said steadily, keeping eye contact with Martha which let her know that he was going to accept what ever happened.
The sleep must have really done him some good.
But the decision of what she wanted still stood. It was huge.
Not something she could decide in a minute.
"I can't possibly make this decision now, Doctor…I need time." Martha said firmly, making sure he knew it wasn't up for negotiation.
Martha Jones ran to her own time table, and not the Doctor's. She plainly refused to be bullied into this.
But there was never any chance of that.
"Then, Martha. Go. You have my number. You can take as much time as you need to think about it…but…promise me you will call me with an answer and not just let the silence hang. I want an answer Martha, whenever you're ready." The Doctor said.
Martha nodded, to which the Doctor responded with a nod.
"Good…could you possibly drop me off at my apartment? I've missed the wedding my three and a half hours if not more…I'm sure the lynch mob is out to get me. And I kinda do stick out like a sore thumb in this wedding dress" she said, sheepishly gesturing to the crumpled white satin wedding dress that she wore.
A slow smirk grew on the Doctor's face as he stepped up to press a few buttons on the console.
"You do look beautiful in that dress though…even if the lynch mob is after you" he murmured.
With a laugh, Martha shook her head.
"Take me home." She giggled, hating herself for blushing.
She loved him and he loved her.
They had established that.
But she had a huge decision to make.
Give up everything she had built for love, or sacrifice love for everything she'd built.
The TARDIS landed with a slight thump in the corner of Martha's apartment, and the door opened almost a second later.
Martha stepped out, into her familiar surroundings, just glad to be home.
The Doctor, contrary to her expectations, stepped out after her.
As she turned, he shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned back against the TARDIS' doors.
"Aren't you gonna go?" Martha asked, putting her hands on her hips.
Shrugging, the Doctor took a glance around the apartment.
"I wanted to make sure you were safe…that the lynch mob wasn't here." He said, to which Martha laughed.
"No…they're not. So I'd appreciate it if you left me in peace." She responded.
It seemed to deflate the Doctor slightly, as his shoulders sunk, and his smile faded a little.
"Well…I…I was…I…just…alright…okay…I'll…be off then" the Doctor stumbled on his words, before verbally falling into a heap.
A small smirk came to Martha's lips as she watched the infallible Time Lord at a loss for words, all because of her.
She was feeling better about what she had done, as they had made up.
Making up was always good in her view; made everyone happy.
"I'll call you Doctor. I can't promise it'll be soon…but I will call" Martha said softly, putting a hand on his arm.
His eyes fell to her hand, before he slowly nodded.
"Alright…I'll hear from you soon I hope…or maybe I don't…I don't…really know anymore" the Doctor murmured unsurely, and Martha could just see a hint of a frown ghosting across his lips.
"When I'm ready I'll call. I don't want to see you before then. And you better come running, if I want you too" Martha said softly.
Sighing deeply, the Doctor nodded, before pushing the door open to the TARDIS.
"I'd hug you, but…I don't know if you want one" he clarified when Martha stared at him for a little too long.
Instead of speaking, Martha opened her arms. She wouldn't have minded a tight hug from the man she loved.
There was no guarantee that they would see each other again. Because if Martha's answer was no, then they probably would not be able to stand seeing each other.
The Time Lord eagerly stepped out of the TARDIS and grabbed hold of her in a tight bear hug.
For almost three whole minutes, they stayed like that, clasping each other like they were the last people on Earth.
As much as Martha never wanted to moment to end, she pulled away and took a deep, shuddering breath.
"Alright" she muttered.
Nodding, the Doctor backed away from her, staring at her through those large, chocolate coloured puppy dog eyes.
"I love you Martha Jones" he mumbled as he opened the door to the TARDIS.
All she could do though, without bursting into tears was nod.
"I know."
Taking one last glance at her, the Doctor slipped through the doors of the time capsule and disappeared.
Barely five seconds later, the large blue box whirred into life, and with the wheezing noise that was so familiar to Martha, it faded into nothingness.
The Doctor faded too, leaving Martha alone with her thoughts and a wedding dress.
So, how long does she leave him hanging, ladies and gentlemen?
A day? A week? A month? A year? Does she ever call him?!
Well, don't hyperventilate and don't over excite yourselves, it'll all come out.
It is a Ten/Martha story after all.
Thanks for skipping over the spelling errors, don't bring them up, cause I know they're there, but when my wonderful Beta gets back, we'll have that sorted.
Thanks, hope to hear from you all. You know how happy it makes me!!