Armor Polish

A/N: Hello, all! I had a sudden burst of inspiration for other embarrassing Tortall character fics so I turned this one-shot about Daine and Numair into a series of one-shots about anyone I feel like writing about. Be prepared to be embarrassed!

Anyway, this is a story about Kel and Neal (yes, I know they're not canon and I'm usually the first to jump on the canon-band-wagon but I just like this couple so darn much!)… as I was saying, this is about Kel and Neal and their quest for armor polish… in a broom closet… all alone… get it?

Kel entered the mess hall and sat down next to her best friend, Nealan of Queenscove, attempting to act nonchalant. The sensible part of her was telling her that no one would think anything of her sitting next to Neal, they were good friends and they were always sitting together. The irrational part of Kel, the part that had talked her into this mess, argued that they would be found out for even talking to each other. Kel could almost hear her sensible side sigh. "Hello, Neal." She said blandly.

"Hmm?" Neal did not appear to have noticed that she sat down next to him, "Oh! Hello… Kel." Neal sounded almost stiff.

The two stared at each other blankly, the silence was thick and tense. "What's with you two? You're acting weird." Their friend, Merric of Hollyrose, asked, breaking the silence.

Both Kel and Neal jumped. All of their friends were staring at them, they noticed. "Nothing! Nothing's wrong. I'm done eating, I'm going to go, erm, study." Neal said hurriedly as he swept his tray away and left the mess hall.

"You didn't even badger him about eating his vegetables." One of Kel's friends said, though she didn't pay attention to whom.

"I need to go polish some things, weapons and armor, things like that." Kel said distractedly, glad not for the first time for her years on the Yamani Islands.

She stood up and left the mess hall, leaving her friends to marvel at her and Neal's strange behavior.



Kel walked down hallways, heading not to her room, but to Neal's. She thought as she walked. I still can't believe we're pulling this off. Maybe everyone knows but is turning a blind eye. But that's ridiculous! No one would lose a chance to tease and torment me or Neal for that matter… As Kel turned a corner someone walked out in front of her. She failed to stop in time and ran right into them, knocking them both to the ground. Kel stood up apologizing. "I'm so sorry, I was lost in my thoughts. Let me give you a hand." Kel offered her hand to whomever she had bumped into and realized it was Neal. "What are you doing? Don't just go walking out in front of people! And you're supposed to be in your room." Kel said pulling him to his feet.

"What happened to being sorry?" Neal asked, resting an arm around her shoulders.

Kel stiffened under his touch until he assured her there was no one around. Then she relaxed and glared up at him. "What happened to meeting in your room?" She asked.

"I thought we could walk back together," Neal said innocently, then continued on in a more dramatic tone, "And I simply couldn't wait another second for you. I had to have you in my arms, to feel your lips on mine!"

Kel chuckled. "Be quiet, meathead, do you want someone to hear you?"

Neal looked around the hall they were in. "No one here." He said, pulling Kel closer.

"There are people in the rooms we're walking by." Kel reminded him.

"Well, there's no one in here." Neal said, pulling open a door as they walked by it.

Kel looked in to the room. "You must be joking." It was a broom closet.

Neal moved closer to her and pulled her into a soft passionate kiss. Kel's skin tingled pleasantly as she shut the door behind them. Once in the closet, kisses continued with more… passion. Kel felt her back pushed up against something with a considerable thud. Suddenly, whatever they were leaning against came away and Kel and Neal fell out into the open and onto the floor. Caught off guard, neither had anytime to brace themselves and while Kel fell flat on the floor, Neal landed flat on Kel, winding her. As Neal tried to get up off of Kel and Kel tried to breath, a familiar voice asked, "What in the world were you two doing?" It was Owen.

"Armor… polish." Kel managed to wheeze.

"We were looking for armor polish!" Neal confirmed, red in the face.



"Yes, we were looking for armor polish." Kel agreed when she'd gotten her breath back.

Owen helped Kel to her feet, looking puzzled. Kel and Neal traded looks. They had been found out. Owen looked from Kel to Neal and back again. Both were red in the face and disheveled. "Why are you two both red?"

Kel knew it was because of embarrassment but she threw together another excuse. "It's hot in there." She said rather lamely, Neal nodded.

"Then why was the door closed?" Owen asked, still puzzled.

"Um… someone shut it behind us." Neal said, though it sounded like he didn't believe it himself.

"I heard a thud on the door, that's why I opened it. What happened?"

"It got stuck. We were trying to open it." Kel said, relieved that they were talking to the most gullible of her friends. "What were you doing down here?"

"I was heading to Neal's room to study with him. I guess we can all head over together." Owen said as he turned to head back down the hall.

"Just a minute, Owen, I never got any polish." Kel said.

"Alright." Owen turned around to see that the hallway was empty. "Did you get stuck in the closet again or something?"

Owen reached for the doorknob to open it and a sudden odd sensation came over him. What was he doing again? Perhaps he had been on his way to the library. Owen turned and headed to the large palace library, never turning back to the broom closet. However, anyone with Sight would have been able to see the aura of green-tinted magic around the handle…

A/N: So? Just pointless and mildly embarrassing fluff. Hope you enjoyed it!