Disclaimer- I don't own Inuyasha or memorable quotes and plots from Clerks.

Thanks for the reviews!

PinkCatsy- Haha yeah…

TiffanyM- That's what I'd like to call character continuity!

animeroxmywurld- Indeed!

love-is-poison39- Yay! You can stop running now…

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER CONTAINS FOUL AND EXPLICIT SEXUAL LANGUAGE

SYNTAX

Miroku walked into the store happily and leaned against the counter.

"Yo Inuyasha. So some guy just came in refusing to pay his late fees. Said the store was closed for three hours. I took his membership and ripped it up."

"You really shouldn't be given this kind of authority." Inuyasha stated, not feeling completely shocked at his friend's actions.

"I believe in the ruling class, meaning that I rule. Want a drink?" He said walking over to the drinks. "I'm buying."

"Nah I'm good." Inuyasha said.

"Anyway why who were you talking to at two in morning? I was trying to reach you for a half hour. Perchance a kinky conversation with Kinky Kagome…" Miroku gave his trademark sleazy grin.

"No. Trust me you don't want to know." Inuyasha sighed and then added menacingly, "And if you ever refer to Kagome in that manner ever again and rip your throat out."

Miroku gulped. "Got yeah." He took a sip and then looked up at Inuyasha. "Wait a minute! You called Kikyo again didn't you?"

"She called me."

"Did you tell Kagome?" Miroku asked, raising his brows.

"One fight a day with Kagome is enough to make me crazy, so naturally I tend to avoid that topic."

"What did you fight about this time?"

"School. The fact that I'm the biggest asshole on the planet…"

"But most of the time it's about Kikyo?"

"Unfortunately." Inuyasha frowned.

"Forget that ho'. You've been dating Kagome for how long?"

"Seven months."

"She's awesome. The girl is crazy about you. How long were you with Kikyo?" He asked, grabbing a newspaper.

"Five years." Inuyasha stressed.

"That girl is crazy. Period. Total whore too. How many times did she cheat on you?" He inquired, flipping through the paper.

"Eight in a half." He sighed.

"Slut." Then he looked up from his paper, puzzled. "Wait…eight in half?"

"That party at Yura's senior year. I got blitzed and headed into her bedroom to pass out. Then all of a sudden Kikyo comes in the room and jumps on top of me…"

"How's that cheating?"

"Then in the middle she calls me Bankotsu."

"She called you Bankotsu?"

"She called me Bankotsu." Inuyasha sighed.

"That's not cheating. People say all sorts of crazy shit during sex. There was this one time I called a girl mom." Miroku said, shuddering at the memory.

Inuyasha chose to ignore Miroku's comment and continued. "I then turn on the light and she freaks. Turns out she thought I was Bankotsu."

"What do you mean?"

"She made plans to meet up with him. She went to the wrong room. She didn't even know I was at the party."

"Oh. My. God." Miroku's mouth dropped.

"Great story right?" Inuyasha crossed his arms.

"That girl was despicable." Miroku shook his head.

"Interesting postscript to that story. Do you who ended up in that dark room with Bankotsu?"

"Your mom?"

"Jakotsu."

"The chess team captain? No fucking way…"

"They moved to some rural town down south. They raise sheep together."

"That's frightening."

"We're living in a modern world man. Get used to it."

"I still stand by my comment that this woman is and will always be a crazy ho'." Miroku stated. "After just hearing this colorful tale I still can't see how you can romanticize your relationship with lady Kikyo. She broke your heart in the most embarrassing ways and inadvertently drove men to deviant lifestyles."

"We still had a good relationship." Inuyasha piped up.

"Oh really?" Miroku narrowed his eyes.

"Aside from the cheating we were a great couple. Isn't that was high school was about anyway? Algebra, bad lunch and infidelity?"

"You think it's really gonna change between you too?"

"Kikyo's different now. When she calls me she's vulnerable and sweet. She's scared about starting a new life after college…"

"Oh shit. I forgot to replace an order." Miroku said, suddenly realizing.

"Fine just ignore me…"

"No, go on I'm listening. By the way you're an asshole."

Inuyasha once again chose to ignore Miroku's quips.

"Luckily I'll be here to comfort her when she realizes it's all to much. Then we'll enter a new phase in our relationship." Inuyasha smiled, thinking his plan to be ingenious.

"And where's Kagome in all of this?"

"I think all my arguments with Kagome is my subconscious telling me I need to get out of the relationship to pursue a more meaningful one with Kikyo." Inuyasha answered with out hesitation.

"And Kikyo is totally with you on this?" Miroku asked, looking at his paper.

"Of course she is."

"Then I think you four should sit down and talk about all this."

"Huh?"

"You, Kagome, Kikyo…" Miroku said laying down the paper and pointing to a headline in the weddings section. "And Kikyo's fiancée…"

The headline read:

KIKYO HARUNO TO MARRY SWEDISH DESIGNER

Inuyasha's eyes widened.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

After a successful escape from Inuyasha's emotional raving at the store Miroku was for once doing his job.

"Hey I'd like to place an order please…yeah it's Miroku…thanks." He said on the phone.

A woman carrying her daughter walked up to the counter.

"Excuse me sir? I was trying to find this video tape my daughter just loves, but I can't seem to find it anywhere…"

"What are you looking for?"

She smiled at her daughter. "The happy, scrappy hero pup!"

"You know, I'm on the phone with my distributor right now. I'll at it to my list hold on…" He said getting back onto the phone. "I need one each of the following tapes: Whisper in the Wind, To Each His Own, Put it Where It Doesn't Belong, My Pipes Need Cleaning, All Tit-Fucking, Volume Eight, I Need Your Cock, Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers, My Cunt and Eight Shafts, Cum Clean, Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts, Cum Buns Three, Cumming in a Sock, Cum on Eileen, Huge Black Cocks with Pearly White Cum, Slam It Up My Too-Loose Ass, Ass Blasters in Outer Space, Blowjobs by Betsy, Sucking Cock and Cunt, Finger My Ass, Play with my Puss, Three on a Dildo, Girls Who Crave Cock, Girls Who Crave Cunt, Men Alone Two-The K.Y. Connection, Pink Pussy Lips, and All Holes Filled with Hard Cock. Oh, and..." He looked at the mother. "What movie did you want again?"

The mother looked at him horrified and said, "The happy, scrappy hero pup…"

"The happy, scrappy hero pup." He said into the phone with a smile. "Yeah that's all, thanks again." He hung up and looked at the horrified woman. "Your order will be in on Monday."

"Thank you." She said quickly.

Then after a moment of silence…

"CUNT!" The little girl squealed with delight.

Inuyasha had just cleaned the litter box and was about to put it in the bathroom when he decided this Kikyo thing was killing him. He set the little box on the counter and ran to the phone and called the newspaper.

"Yes, I'd like to check on a misprint in today's edition...Today's edition...It says "Kikyo Hurano to Wed Swedish Designer...No, no; everything's spelled fine. I just wanted to know if the piece was a misprint...I don't know, like a typographical error or something..."

Meanwhile a customer was waiting at the counter. Suddenly the store cat, Buyo jumped into the litter box.

"Maybe it's supposed to be Kikyo Hirano, or Kikyo Kurano...I'm a curious party...A curious party...ok fine you got me!" Inuyasha argued defensively. I'm an ex-boyfriend...Well, it's just that we talk all the time, and she never mentioned this engagement, which is why I'm thinking maybe it's a misprint..."

The customer watched in disgust as the cat started to take a dump right then and there.

"...Are you sure? Maybe there's like a vindictive printer working for you... Meaning like someone who maybe-I don't know-asked her out once and got shot down, and his revenge is throwing this bogus article in when the paper went to press...Hello? Hello?" The man hung up on him. Inuyasha put the phone back, defeated.

Inuyasha looked at the paper once more and then looked up, sniffing the air.

Kouga and Silent Sango were leaning against the wall with Silent Sango's little brother Kohaku.

"So she told me to pull out. I'm like, are you fucking serious? But whatever, I didn't wanna risk it either…so I end up going all on her belly…anyway I get all my stuff together just as my uncle walks in. It was a close one that time man. Still totally worth the risk…I don't care if she's my cousin…" Kouga grinned, retelling yet another one of his sickening bedroom tales.

Silent Sango looked at him with pure disgust.

"Fuck you Sango! I'm doing it again tonight!"

Then a read head joined them.

"Well, well, well. Look who it is, Ayame, my favorite one night stand."

"Jerk!" Ayame stuck out her tongue. "What are you doing anyway?"

"Just chillin' with Sango and her little brother Kohaku. The kid just spent five years in a mental hospital."

"You're shitting me." She said crossing her arms.

"I'm not. I swear, right Sango?"

Silent Sango nodded.

"See! And she's never told a lie in her life!"

"Whatever."

"Anyway this kid is the shit, he's moving to the big city, he wants to be a heavy metal rock star."

"NO WAY!" Ayame exclaimed starry-eyed.

"I speak the truth. Kohaku. METAL!" He ordered.

Kohaku scrunched up his face angrily.

"That's his metal face. Pretty sweet am I right? So Kohaku…girl nice?" He said pointing to Ayame.

Kohaku looked Ayame and down.

"Skrelnick!" He said with a wide smile.

"What the hell did he just say?" Ayame gave Kouga a look.

"I don't know…he's a character. He did just get out of the hospital after all."

Ayame rolled her eyes. "This is total BS. I can tell."

"Ok Kohaku, sing her some of your crazy shit." Kouga leaned against the wall.

Kohaku began singing into his empty soda bottle as a fake microphone.

"MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A TRUCK

BERSERKER! WOULD YOU LIKE SOME

MAKING FUCK? BERSERKER!"

"This is fucking awesome!" Kouga laughed.

"Did he just say making fuck?" Ayame said making a face.

"I told you…this kid's a fucking psychopath. Ok Kohaku now sing the next verse for the pretty lady…"

Kohaku nodded and continued.

"MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A ROCK

BERSERKER! WOULD YOU LIKE TO SMOKE

SOME POT? BERSERKER!"

Miroku decided to take another break and headed over to Inuyasha. He walked past Kohaku as he sung his strange song to a growing crowd of people, seemingly unfazed.

When Miroku walked in he saw Inuyasha trying to pull a can of Pringles off of a man's wrist.

"Ok, balance yourself on the counter I'll pull on three." Inuyasha said.

"This never happened before. I usually turn the can upside down…" The man said, embarrassed as the situation.

"Maybe we should oil up your hand or something? They really ought to put a warning on these cans…" Inuyasha said as he struggled to pull the can off.

"Like cigarettes!" The man cheerily offered.

"Yeah that's it! I think it's coming off now!" He said and pulled off the can quickly.

The now free man rubbed his hand and smiled.

"Thanks so much! I thought I'd have to go to the hospital!"

"Well I hope that now you've learned your lesson: sometimes you've just got to let those hard to reach chips go…" Inuyasha advised, getting back behind the counter.

"Thanks!" The cheerful man said and left.

Miroku shrugged at the situation and approached Inuyasha.

"Miroku…the article was real! Kikyo is really getting married!"

"You know what I just watched?"

"Me pulling a can off of a guy?"

"Death Note."

"Who the fuck cares…Kikyo's getting married!"

"Which character was the evil one? L or Light."

"Light. Clearly."

"Blasphemy!"

"What the fuck are you saying…he not only got corrupted by his power, but he used the Death Note to kill people in his way…what did L do?"

"Well, L wasn't doing his work against Kira for justice. It was all a game to him. Besides he kidnapped Misa and Light and held them in captivity for months…"

"THEY WERE GUILTY!"

"They didn't remember it though…and what about that Lind Taylor guy? L just let him get killed…"

"He was going to get executed anyway!"

"As I was saying. It kinda sucks. I mean innocent people were being killed in order to find Kira."

"Are you a fucking idiot…Kira killed innocent people to keep from being discovered!"

"Wait a sec…" Miroku said thinking for a minute. "Never mind. Your right…I mixed up the characters…"

"How the fuck did you do that. You're a fucking dumbass you know that?"

"Anyway, it's so unfair all those innocent bystanders…"

"That's what I just said! You make no fucking sense sometimes you know that! You just wasted five fucking minutes of your life arguing about something you don't even understand…were you even paying attention when you saw Death Note?"

"I may have been otherwise intoxicated."

"Dumbass."

"You know what bothered me in one episode."

"I refuse to listen. You've ruined the show for me enough the last five minutes…"

"Ok, so remember when that deleting person killed Kira's annoying representative and his cronies. Those poor fucking guys. They may have been sleezeballs, but they were just trying to catch a break, they just got seemingly great jobs on TV and were able to pay the rent when…BAM! A fucking heart attack from their so-called leader!"

"What were you smoking when you watched this show?" Inuyasha sighed.

"It's rough getting caught in the crossfire." A random customer chimed in.

"Excuse me?" Inuyasha said.

"Hey…just overhearing what you said. I'm in the entertainment business…here's my card." He handed his card over to Inuyasha. "Anyway I'm hired out to do a commercial for a small company owned by a local mobster whose name I won't disclose. Still, even though the money was good I knew it was trouble so I gave it over to buddy of mine who took the job with out hesitation. Three days later there's an air raid on the set. Total fucking chaos. My friend got shot four times before falling dead. Look any guy taking a fucking job like that knows the risks man…a smart guy listens to his gut and not his wallet." The man smiled and bought a pack of cigarettes from Inuyasha. "Have yourself a good day." He smiled again and left the store.

"The people who walk into your store…" Miroku sighed. "Fucking weirdoes man. Fucking weirdoes…"

Inuyasha nodded in agreement.

I know it's been awhile; I'll try to update. The thing is I'm leaving the country in less than two weeks, I'll try to update on a daily basis and finish, but only if you guys help me and review right away. I just need two reviews a day to keep me going. What do you guys say?