Disclaimer- I don't own Inuyasha or memorable quotes and plots from Clerks.

Thanks for the reviews!

TiffanyM- I know! Such a poop face…tee hee I love Kouga!

Komusai Matakatana- Thanks…I'm getting worried I'm keeping it too similar…making changes are really difficult because I love the story so much!

love-is-poison39- Thanks. Originally the argument was about Star Wars, but I wanted to change it to more of an anime thing. I'm glad it worked.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER CONTAINS FOUL AND EXPLICIT SEXUAL LANGUAGE VAGARY

Miroku sat in the video store, lounging and reading the newspaper on the counter when a middle-aged female customer walked in. He sighed. Miroku hated it when customers came in to ruin his day. Couldn't he lounge around while manning the store in piece?

"They say so much about the movie, but they never tell you if it's actually any good." The woman mused to herself. Miroku decided to ignore it.

The woman didn't get the hint.

"Excuse me sir. Which one of these movies is better?" She said holding up two videos cases.

"I don't watch movies. They're the poison that will ultimately destroy mankind as we know it." He said not looking up from his paper.

The gave him a look. "Have you at least heard anything about them?"

"I find it best to stay out of this business. Like I said…it's poison."

"But you work at a video store! You're telling me you haven't heard a thing about either of these movies."

"Nope." He said simply.

The woman, fed up decided to see if he was actually paying attention. She turned around for a moment and then asked him again.

"Well what about these movies?"

"Oh. Those suck."

"THEY'RE THE SAME MOVIES! I switched them to see that you weren't paying attention! And I was right!"

"I don't appreciate your ruse lady." Miroku said.

"Excuse me?"

"Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me. You wanted to make me look bad and you tricked me. I find that to be wicked and unnerving."

"I was only pointing out that you weren't paying any attention…"

"I hope it feels good."

"What feels good?"

"The incessant need to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others…"

"Ugh! I'm never renting here again!" She said and stormed out.

Miroku got up and ran to the door. "YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO RENT HERE ANYMORE!" He yelled out to the woman, which caused Kouga who was loitering outside to cheer for Miroku.

Annoyed at yet another customer he took his keys and locked up the store again, heading back to the convenience store.

"I just met the most annoying customer!" Miroku said to Inuyasha, sliding in front of the counter.

Inuyasha who was distracted by something far more entertaining pointed Miroku toward the refrigerators. There a befuddled looking, middle-aged man was sifting through various egg cartons.

"What's he doing?" Miroku said, suddenly feeling confused.

"He's just been opening all the cartons and inspecting the eggs. He told me he's trying to find the perfect dozen."

"Perfect dozen?"

"Each one must be perfect. As you can tell from the various open cartons he hasn't succeeded."

"Why doesn't he just mix and match?"

"That's what I said, but he yelled at me. He just started spewing this bullshit about standards. I'm getting pissed. Five more minutes and I'm calling the cops. I should have to deal with this shit. I'm not even supposed to be here today!" Inuyasha griped

Meanwhile a woman walked in.

"Two cartons of cigarettes please." She laid her money on the counter and then noticed the scene with the eggs.

"I'm just as puzzled as you are." Miroku said to her.

"Believe it or not, I've seen this before."

"No way." Miroku said. "You know this guy?"

"No, but it's happened before. And I bet you anything he's a guidance counsler."

"How do you know this?"

"I saw a guy like him at the supermarket last year. He's looking for the perfect dozen right?" The two men nodded. "Anyway I asked what was going on there and apparently it happens about three times a week. Maybe more."

"You're shitting me." Miroku gaped.

"I shit you not. It's called shell shock. It's only been found in high school guidance counselors though. Anyway it used to be a huge deal, but now they just let it go. These guys are actually harmless. They always clean up after themselves and pay for the damages."

"Why guidance counselors?" Inuyasha asked.

"Well wouldn't you go crazy if your job was that meaningless?" She said.

"Come to think of it…back in high school my counselor was kind of worthless." Miroku mused.

"You see boys, that's why everyone should seek out jobs that make their lives meaningful and make a difference. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination." With that she smiled and left.

Inuyasha and Miroku stared at each other for a moment and then back at the egg man, who out of frustration began throwing the eggs against the refrigerator.

PURGATION

While Miroku was manning the counter for Inuyasha during a bathroom break he read his paper as usual. When he saw a pack of cigarettes and money appear on the desk he absently took the money and gave back the change.

He didn't even realize he just sold a pack of cigarettes to a five-year-old girl.

Inuyasha came out of the bathroom.

"Ever notice how every price in this store ends in nines…kinda creepy."

"I wonder what it would be like to be a jizzmopper." Miroku said completely changing the subject as he read articles in his latest nudie magazine.

"A what?"

"A jizzmopper. They're the guys who clean up the nudie booths."

"What's a nudie booth?"

"Oh man. You haven't of a nudie booth?" Miroku smiled. "They're fantastic. So you go in this room and there's a girl behind a glass wall, kinda like a museum exhibit. It's ten bucks and she puts on a show for you."

"What kind of show?" He said, getting the cash register ready as a customer came up to buy a newspaper.

"She does all this crazy shit for you to get you going you know, like a private striptease, but way better. Like she'll insert anything into her body. Any hole!"

"Can we not talk about this now…" Inuyasha said, not really in the mood and slightly embarrassed for the customer.

"The jizzmopper's job is to clean the mess each guy makes after blowing his load. It usually ends up on the windows. It's kinda nasty, but if it's not cleaned right away nasty streaks form on the window…"

"I AM NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN!" The customer exclaimed.

"Excuse me?" Inuyasha said, taken aback.

"USING THAT DIRTY LANGUAGE INFRONT OF CUSTOMERS! YOU SHOULD BOTH BE FIRED!" He cried.

"Sorry sir, we kina got carried away." Inuyasha said.

"I don't think sorry will work. You highly offended me." He said, his voice getting higher.

"Well if you think that's offensive. Take a look at this." Miroku grinned and showed him the magazine article with ultra graphic picture.

The man ran out screaming.

"Miroku! God you're such an asshole! He's gonna come back and complain to the boss now!"

"So. He's too sensitive. I hate customers like that. This job would be amazing if it weren't for those uptight assholes."

"A customer is a customer…"

"Bullshit. Don't you ever just want ro rip into those idiots."

"Look they don't bother me. I don't bother them."

"Again. Complete bullshit! You're a liar. You know you have those customers who annoy the hell out of you day after day."

"There aren't."

"Stop lying. Vent. Vent your frustration man!"

"Ok maybe there are some annoying ones…"

"Like?"

"Well it's not specific, just types of them…"

"Like?"

"The milkmaids."

"The milkmaids?"

"The old ladies who go through every carton of milk, hoping to find that perfect gallon with the expiration date that will last then a decade."

"I can do with out the people in the video store."

"Which ones?"

"All of them." He said and went on to complain about all of his annoying customers.

Inuyasha decided to join in and vented as well.

"Don't you feel better now?" Miroku asked.

"No." Inuyasha sighed.

"Why not? You just vented your heart out. You should feel happy...released."

"Kikyo is getting married." Inuyasha frowned.

"Damn you've got a one track mind. It's always Kikyo, Kikyo, Kikyo…"

Then the door opened and Inuyasha stopped him.

"KAGOME!" Inuyasha called her name as she came in and walked over to her.

"I thought you were gonna be done by now…" She said.

"The guy never showed up." Inuyasha sighed.

"Figures." She looked at him sympathetically.

"Why aren't you in class?"

"Got cancelled. Anyway I drop by your house and your mother says you're still at work so I brought you some of my famous ramen casserole." She smiled.

"Really?" He took the lunch and look inside for proof. "Oh you're the best." He kissed her on the cheek. He smiled like a five year old boy.

"I'm glad you calmed down since our fight." She smiled. "Hi Miroku." She waved to him.

"THIRTY-SEVEN?" He called out.

Kagome shot Inuyasha a look.

"Yes, I'm feeling better. I'll live with it." He smiled.

Miroku then started making sucking noises.

"GO BACK TO THE VIDEO STORE MIROKU!" Inuyasha yelled, getting annoyed.

Miroku got up and left the store, patting Kagome's head as he walked out.

"You told him?" Kagome frowned.

"I had to tell someone, besides he put the whole thing into perspective for me…"

"How so?"

"At least I wasn't the thirty-sixth."

"And that made you feel better?" Kagome rolled her eyes.

"Also that they are a bunch of college guys I've never met…"

"So out of sight out of mind then…"

"Exactly." He smiled. "Thanks for the food Kagome."

"No problem" She smiled back.

"So when's your last class?"

"Um…eight, but I have a sorority meeting at nine. How about I meet you when you close. We'll go get coffee."

"Sounds great."

"I got class soon. I'll see you then. K?"

"Sure."

They kissed quickly and Kagome left as Miroku came back in.

The two friends stood quietly by the door until Miroku started making the sucking noises again. Inuyasha slapped the back of his head and went back to work.

There you go! I did a double update! Combining two chapters into one! Hopefully if I keep doing this daily I can finish before I leave! Wish me luck!

Please review!