Disclaimer- I don't own Inuyasha or memorable quotes and plots from Clerks.

Thanks for the reviews!

TiffanyM- Yeah…he's kind of a prick. He'll learn his lesson. Don't worry.

love-is-poison39- Thanks! Haha…yeah. You should totally watch the movie! It's way more incredible on screen!

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER CONTAINS FOUL AND EXPLICIT SEXUAL LANGUAGE

MALAISE

For once Miroku was actually trying to do his job when Inuyasha peeked in the door. Miroku was recommending a film to two young schoolgirls.

"So if you're feeling dangerous tonight I recommend Star Wars. I can't believe you girls haven't even seen it!"

"But we asked for a movie with Brad Pitt. He's not even in it!"

"He wasn't in ET either. What's your point?" Miroku sighed. What was with teenage girls these days? Still he didn't mind their skirt. They seemed to get shorter as he got older. He grinned at the girls who both shot him dirty looks.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Yo Miroku, can you cover for me a minute at the store I need to make a phone call."

"Yeah, just one question. Star Wars?"

"Best movie with out Brad Pitt ever!" He said giving a cheesy grin and left to go to his own store.

"Told you so." He said to the girls.

Miroku locked up his own store and went to go mind Inuyasha's. He sat bored behind the counter as customers bought what they needed. If a customer annoyed him he'd simply flash a page of his hentai magazine at them.

Most people seemed to scare away easily.

Meanwhile Inuyasha was trying to get a hold of his boss.

"What do you mean he's on vaction?…IN FRANCE!…No he didn't tell me he was going to be on vacation…he called me this morning personally…he said he would be coming in at noon…what do you mean his flight left at noon?…YESTERDAY!…When the hell was someone going to tell me about this?…Dammit!…When's he coming back?…THURSDAY! GODDAMMIT!…You've got to be fucking kidding with me! I have a hockey game in an hour! Oh and the fucking shutters wont go up!…Some asshole stuck gum there…DAMMIT!…He's really in France?…So I'm stuck here until closing?…FUCK! I'm not even supposed to be here today!…Ugh. This is great…I just can't believe…I'm sorry for yelling…don't cry, I didn't mean to yell it you…no, no I'll be fine…don't worry…I'll get over it…thanks." Inuyasha sighed and hung up the phone hard.

"France?" Miroku repeated, joining him.

"I can't believe this…"

"He didn't say anything when he called you this morning?"

"No. That stupid bastard."

"So then I guess you'll be stuck here all day like I am?"

"FUCK!" Inuyasha pounded the counter. Luckily no customers were around.

"So why did you say sorry?"

"Huh?" Inuyasha said, puzzled.

"You said sorry on the phone. Why? You don't have to apologize."

"I don't know. I guess I'm a pushover."

"More like a pussy."

"Fuck you."

"Touchy!" Miroku frowned.

"You know pisses me off most? I don't even get to play hockey." Inuyasha sighed. "Whatever, I call my brother and let him know the games off. Besides I think you have a customer waiting outside your store."

"Oh fuck me." Miroku pouted and headed outside yelling, "What? What do you want you scumbag of a slave to the media?"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and called his brother. "Hey Sesshoumaru, I can't make the game today…I got called into work…I know it sucks…you're right I'm an ass licking bastard ok?…well Miroku can't play either." Inuyasha sighed and then thought of something brilliant. "Wait…we don't have to play in the park right?…You feeling limber?" Inuyasha grinned mischievously.

Within ten minutes the convenient store became a lockeroom as Inuyasha and his friends prepared for their hockey game.

"I can't believe this. Inuyasha I never thought that you of all people would do something that was such a blatant disregard of store policy." Miroku grinned. "Finally! I'm so proud. You're really becoming a man to admire." Miroku patted him on the back.

"Yo little bro, can I take some Gatorade?" Sesshoumaru said after getting his equipment together.

"No way! If I give you everyone else will want. I can't just give out free drinks anyway!" Inuyasha exclaimed.

Sesshoumaru stared him down for a minute. "Pussy."

"Well that's mature." Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

"So I heard a rumor Kikyo's marrying a Swedish designer. Sucks for you." Sesshoumaru added.

"Man, like adding salt to the wound. You sure no how to pack on the insults Sesshoumaru." Miroku acknowledged.

"I'm not talking about Kikyo right now."

"So it's true? And weren't you thinking aobut getting back together with her? Oh you poor motherfucker. Stop being in denial and putting your rage on us by refusing your friends and dear brother Gatorade."

"God! Fine if you want Gatorade so fucking badly you can take once we finish the first round."

"Ok, that works. Thanks." He gave a wry smile. "See you two on the roof."

Sesshoumaru and the rest of the guys headed outside.

"My brother is the biggest fucking asshole on the planet." Inuyasha sighed.

"Pretty much. Wait the roof?" Miroku suddenly realized and looked at Inuyasha in horror.

Inuyasha smirked. "The roof."

While the guys started their game up on the roof a customer came around and noticed what was going on.

"Hey when is the period over?" He said having climbed the latter.

"Ten minutes." Inuyasha said.

"No fucking way. I need my cigarettes!"

"It's only a few minutes." He said and skated away.

"Oh come on you can't even skate right. Your form is completely off."

"What right do you have to assess me?"

"I can assess you however I want asshole. And you know what I've assessed? You suck! You suck man! You suck!" The man pointed his finger at him.

"Oh yeah, why don't you grab a stick and show me your game asshole!" Inuyasha raged, his competitiveness coming out.

Meanwhile Hojo and another druggie stood in front of the door and looked up at toward the roof.

"Hey Inuyasha! You open?"

"NO!" Yelled the customer and Inuyasha together.

The two then looked at each other and with tension rising decided to play against each other.

Their game lasted for a total of two minutes when the ball fell off the roof and into the gutter.

"Oh shit!" One guy called.

Inuyasha groaned. "It's cool. Yo Sess! You got another ball."

"No I brought just the one."

"What the fuck!"

"Sorry asshole. I thought we'd be playing on low ground." Sesshoumaru glared and started packing up his stuff.

"Oh come on!" He looked down at people in the parking lot and yelled down to them. "You see any balls down there?"

"The biggest pair you've ever seen!" The man jeered.

"Fuck! I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY!" Inuyasha groaned again and stormed off.

HARBINGER

After reopening the store Inuyasha began replacing a few of the light bulbs. A short, old man stood beside him.

"Be careful young man."

"I'm am." Inuyasha said.

"You can get cancer from that kind of stuff you know…"

"I hear that." He said again getting slightly annoyed.

"I had a friend in the circus who used to eat those light bulbs."

"And he died of cancer?"

"Nope. Trampled by an elephant."

Inuyasha gave the man a look. "Can I help you with anything old man?" He asked getting off the ladder and heading behind the counter.

"I'd like to use the facilities."

"For employees only…"

"I understand, but you see I am clearly an old man and as an old man I don't have the same control over my body and young, able-bodied men like yourself do…" He grinned widely.

"It's in the back to your left. You can't miss it."

"Thank you! What kind of toilet paper?"

"The white kind." He said, started to get annoyed.

"No. I mean rough or soft."

"Rough."

"Ugh…so uncomfortable. Rips up my hemorrhoids. Could I use the soft stuff you're selling upfront? Please?"

"I guess…" Inuyasha said, feeling sympathy for the old man.

"Thank you again! Could I also borrow a magazine?"

What a freeloader… Inuyasha thought. "Fine I guess…"

"I'd like that one!" He said pointing to the more private magazines in back of Inuyasha.

"The porno mags?" Inuyasha exclaimed in horror.

"Yes. I love the little cartoons…" The man grinned widely.

Inuyasha handed him one. "Will you leave me alone now?"

"Almost…can you give me the other one? Shows more stuff…" The man grinned widely again.

Inuyasha groaned and handed him the other one.

"I appreciate it son! Thanks!"

And with that the old man headed into the bathroom just as Miroku strolled into the store.

"Wow what a game!" Miroku grinned, leaning against the desk.

"One ball! And we lost it! I closed the store for this game Dammit! Stupid idiots! We hardly got to play." Inuyasha vented.

"Eh. Hockey is hockey Inuyasha. At least we got to play."

"Oh please it was barely a warm-up." Inuyasha whined.

"Bitch, bitch, bitch. That's all you do lately. Want a drink?"

"Yeah. Gatorade." Inuyasha said sounding annoyed.

"There isn't any." Miroku said, peering into the fridge.

"Exactly. My freeloading, asshole of a brother and his buddies drank it all."

"Bitch, bitch, bitch…" Miroku muttered under his breath again. "Anyway…" He said, changing the subject. "Guess what Sesshoumaru told me."

"What?"

"Tsubaki died."

"Tsubaki? My Tsubaki?" Inuyasha laughed. "You're shitting me."

"I shit you not. I'm serious man."

Inuyasha sat down. "Oh god. Holy shit."

"Sesshoumaru's been fucking her cousin. He found out this morning."

"How'd she die? When?"

"Embolism in her brain. Yesterday afternoon."

"Shit." Inuyasha looked down.

"She was swimming at the local YMCA. She died mid-backstroke."

"I haven't seen her in almost two years…"

"Wasn't she part of the famous twelve?" Miroku asked, referring to the group of girls Inuyasha slept with.

"She was number six." Inuyasha said, reminiscing.

"You had sex with a dead person." Miroku realized.

Inuyasha ignored him. "I need to go to her wake."

"No your not."

"Why not?"

"It's at four. Today."

"What about tomorrow?"

"Sorry, this show is one night only."

"SHIT! Miroku I need you to watch the store."

"No fucking way man, I'm going with you!"

"Whoa! Has it occurred to you that I'm grieving too?"

"You hardly knew her!" Inuyasha exclaimed.

"True, but all our old classmates will be there. It's a reunion!"

"There's something wrong with you." Inuyasha shook his head. "How low are your moral standards?"

"I don't even think I've cracked the surface actually…" Miroku mused. "Besides, it's the social event of the season! Think of all the people!"

"You hate people." Inuyasha reminded him.

"I know, but I love gatherings. Isn't that ironic?"

"You can't go! I need someone to mind the store! Don't be a douche Miroku."

"If you go I go." He crossed his arms.

"You sound like a child! Miroku! Damn. She meant nothing to you."

"She meant nothing to you either, until you found out she was dead."

"You're not coming. I can't close the store."

"You did for the hockey game…"

"Exactly. Which means I can close it for another hour just so we could both go to a wake together!" Inuyasha stated, putting his foot down.

He wasn't going to close the store and that was that.

Inuyasha and Miroku sat in the car as they both drove to the wake.

"You were saying?" Miroku flashed his cheesy grin, getting his way yet again.

"Thanks for putting me in this situation. Closing the store twice…you're a great friend Miroku! I really should remind you of that more often." Inuyasha's voice dripped with anger and sarcasm.

"Glad to help!" Miroku said happily, his cheesy grin never leaving his face.

The two sat in silence for a minute.

"She was so young…" Miroku said.

"Twenty-two. Our age. Damn…and what a way to go. An embolism in the pool…how embarrassing…" Inuyasha shook his head.

"Nah. Nothing compares to how my cousin Kentaro died."

"Really? What happened?"

"Broke his neck."

"What's so bad about that?"

"He did it while trying to suck his own dick."

"Shut the fuck up." Inuyasha said, suddenly disgusted.

"What? I swear it's true." Miroku said holding up his hand.

"I said shut up!"

"I swear."

"Oh my god…" Inuyasha said, completely shocked.

"What? You've never tried?"

"NO!"

"Damn. You're so repressed."

"Because I never tried to go down on myself?"

"No, cause you won't admit it. You're not a pervert Inuyasha, just curious like every other guy on the planet. You've tried it. Come on just admit it."

"Who found him?" He asked, avoiding the question.

"Kentaro? My aunt. On his bed, doubled over himself with his legs on top. Dick in his mouth. My aunt freaked out. It was a mess."

"His dick was in his mouth?"

"Balls resting on his lips."

"Wow." Inuyasha whistled. "He actually made it…"

"Yeah…but at a price."

There was another minute of silence, but Inuyasha broke it this time.

"I couldn't reach…"

"What?"

"You know?"

"Your dick?"

"Yeah. I admit it. I tried it. Everyone does I guess. Sooner or later…"

"I never tried it." Miroku admitted.

Inuyasha glared at Miroku who simply grinned.

There was silence once again when Miroku broke it again.

"Fucking pervert."

"I knew I should have closed the store." Inuyasha said, instantly regretting his actions as they walked up the stairs into the funeral parlor.

"Oh stop worrying. Will I have to hear this the whole time?"

"At least when we were on the roof I could see if anyone wanted in…"

"Inuyasha it's four o'clock on a Saturday. Who would be there?"

Little did they know whole crowds of people were trying to get into the store.

"Run Miroku!" Inuyasha called out as they ran out of the funeral parlor ten minutes later.

A group of angry mourners chased after them.

Inuyasha dove into the car and started the engine. Miroku meanwhile stared at the crowd racing toward him like a deer in headlights. Inuyasha opened the passenger door.

"You stupid idiot! MIROKU! GET THE FUCK IN HERE!"

Miroku came to his senses and got in. Inuyasha started driving off before Miroku closed his door.

Haha cliffhanger!

Hope you enjoyed! Please review!