Almost a month after the party, Howard was cleaning out the ape enclosure at the zoo for the hundredth time that morning. The zoo's owner, Dixon Bainbridge, was coming for a zoo inspection and the manager, Bob Fossil, was having some kind of panic attack as he rushed around trying to make everything perfect. At this moment in time he was yelling at an elephant.
"Why wont you stop crapping?! I get your cage cleaned up ready for Bainbridge and you create more faeces! What is wrong with you? Have you got baked beans for brains? No, seriously. Have you? I don't know."
Howard sighed loudly, he did enjoy working at the zoo but he couldn't help think that the whole place would be greatly improved if Tommy was back in charge. Tommy had been wise and smart and Howard just knew that Tommy would have run the zoo the way it should have been run.
"Hey Howard." said a small voice from the other side of the railings. "You okay?"
"Vince?" Howard whispered, almost like a prayer. That voice sounded so like Vince's. Those boots, which Howard could see in the corner of his eye, looked so like the kind of thing Vince would wear but h didn't want to get his hopes up… again. He thought he'd seen Vince everywhere in the last few weeks but it had always turned out to be a young woman, or a drag queen. He turned around slowly and came face to face with the skinny electro boy.
"Oh thank god." Howard almost shouted, then turned bright red and said "I, erm, I mean… I haven't seen you since Leroy's party, weeks ago. Where've you been? I was worried about you."
"You were?" Vince asked, smiling prettily "No one ever worries about me. I just go off all the time, no one ever cares." Howard shuffled his feet embarrassedly. "So," Vince continued "Leroy's party, was it good?"
"You were there." frowned Howard.
"Yeah, I know." Vince grinned "But I don't remember anything about it."
"Nothing?" Howard asked weakly.
"Nope, I must have been so drunk! I've never misplaced an entire night before. I've seen some pictures of me though, my hair was a mess by the end of the night. All out here, and full of vodka, it's taken me this long to get it back to normal. Did you drink?"
"Ummm, no."
"Great, you can fill be in on what happened then. Jog my memory."
"Umm, actually I left really early. You were just dancing." Howard lied. On the outside he was managing to stay calm but inside, he was falling apart. Vince didn't remember! The greatest moment of Howard's life and Vince didn't even know it had happened. Howard couldn't believe it, this was just his luck.
"So, how come you're here then?" Howard asked as light heartedly as he could manage. "I mean, I see nothing of you for a month and then you just arrive at my work."
"Ah, yeah. Thing is Howard, I've really messed up." Vince admitted "And I really needed someone I can rely on and I don't know why, but I thought of you. I know we don't know each other that well, but I kinda I feel safe with you. That probably sounds stupid, but you were sorta the first friend I ever had, even it was only for a day." Vince chuckled, then becoming quite solemn and asked "Have you got time for a chat?"
"Ummm, of course. But I am supposed to be cleaning out Bollo here. He said indicating the huge ape."
"Oh, hey Bollo." Vince grinned. Bollo said something, which to Howard sounded like grunts and groans but Vince seemed to be listening intently.
"You sure?" the long hair boy asked. Bollo grunted again. "Can you do all that?" More grunting "Alright, I was only checking. Thanks Bollo, you're fantastic." Vince beamed, turning to face Howard.
"What was that?" frowned the taller boy.
"Bollo says he'll clean up the rest of it and put it in bags and stuff and then you can just take it to the bins after you've finished talking to me. He also says you never clean it thoroughly enough anyway." Bollo grunted, angrily this time. Vince laughed and added "and apparently, you're constant humming of jazz drives him mad."
"What's he like then?"
"Jagger, Bowie." Vince grinned, "He's a pretty cool ape." Bollo nodded enthusiastically.
"Hang on a minute." Howard gasped "is he nodding?"
"yeah."
"You can actually talk to animals?"
"Yeah, I told you I could. Did you think I was making that conversation up?"
Well… yeah." Howard admitted "I thought it was your strange sense of humour and you have told me a ton of things that turned out not to be true. Can you blame be for not trusting you?"
"I suppose. Sorry." Vince smiled apologetically, "But the animal thing is cool, right? I'm like Mogley in flares."
"Yeah, with a talent like that, you should come and work in the zoo."
"Are you for real? What about school? GCSE's?"
"GCSE's aren't important."
"Well that's good because I've been expelled, that's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about."
"Expelled?! How? Why?"
"Ummm," Vince looked uncharacteristically embarrased "I kinda, got caught, sorta sleeping with the headmasters daughter in the his office." Vince finished quickly, his words merging together, but it didn't stop each one cutting through Howard like a knife. Vince had slept with someone, a girl. He obviously didn't like boys and he certainly didn't like Howard. Inside, Howard felt something was breaking and he realised bitterly that he had completely fallen for this tiny electro poof standing in front of him.
"Well you got what you deserved." Howard replied resentfully.
"I know." Vince sighed, hanging his head. "I didn't even like her that much, it was more for the thrill than anything, you know."
"Right." Howard said. He felt awkward and slightly sick.
"But if I could come and work here that would be genius!" Vince continued brightly "You'd like that, wouldn't you Mr Bollo?" The ape nodded again. "D'you think you could get me a job Howard?"
Howard looked at Vince, and like so many times before he gave in to that beautiful pleading smile.
"Of course I could."
"And you're boss wont mind?"
"As long as you don't mind working long hours for virtually no money."
"Ahh! You're the best!" Vince squealed throwing his arms round Howard's neck.
"Woah there." Howard said pushing the excitable boy away "Don't touch me, don't ever touch me." Howard didn't think he could cope if Vince was constantly hugging him. It would be too painful and Howard couldn't trust his own emotions.
"Ahhh, grumpy." Vince grinned, punching the taller boy lightly on the shoulder. "This is going to be wicked. I love animals. D'you recon I could sleep in the zoo too?"
"Ummm… I suppose you could sleep in the hut but you wouldn't want to. There's no bed in there."
"Well, if there's a roof and four walls, it'll be better than I usually get."
"You sleeping on the streets?"
"Not anymore, now I'm sleeping in the hut." Vince beamed, quickly changing the subject "What's your boss called?"
"Mr Fossil."
"Nice?"
"Ummm, I'm not sure 'nice' is a word I'd use."
"So what is a word you'd use?"
"Interesting."
"Interesting? The international nice-guy word for 'horrible' or 'weird'" laughed Vince.
"Ummm, yeah." agreed Howard, laughing too.
"Ask him now." Vince urged "Go on please."
"Okay, okay. I'm going." Howard smiled, walking bravely to Fossil's office.
As Howard had expected, Bob Fossil was happy to take on a new keeper who'd work for the terrible pay that he offered. What Howard hadn't expected, was that Bob Fossil would sit him down in a chair, while the man in the too-tight blue suit pranced around, played a strange sort of air guitar (that looked more like air banjo), to a Rolling Stone's song.
When I'm drivin' in my car
And that man comes on the radio
He's tellin' me more and more
About some useless information
Supposed to fire my imagination
I can't get no, oh no no no
Hey hey hey, that's what I say
"And that's why 'I can't get no satisfaction' Moon." Fossil said stopping the tape.
"Right." Howard frowned, completely confused by what had happened.
"You can go now." Fossil said, sitting calmly back behind his desk and moving some papers around importantly. Just as Howard got to the door Fossil called "Oh and Moon. You'll have to spend the day showing your slave around. He can start work tomorrow. And you better get all your chores done too, Moon! I don't want you using this new kid as an excuse."
"Yes, Mr Fossil" sighed Howard, though secretly he was quite excited about showing Vince around the Zooniverse.
That evening, after Howard clocked off, he took Vince to the green hut that Vince would call home from now on. As they came around the corner, Vince came face to face with his past, "This hut?" Vince shuddered, the memories of the fire came flooding back to him.
"Yeah, you okay?" Howard asked softly.
"Yeah, yeah." Vince said, forcing a smile "It's just seeing it, you know. Just reminds me of… God I was a horrible kid." he sighed, brushing his fingers against the side of the hut.
"Come on" Howard said gently, gesturing Vince through the door.
The hut was small and cramped and there was a distinctly musty smell everywhere you went. There was a small kitchen on the right, a table on the left and a tiny brown sofa, which was taking up most of the floor space, in the middle.
"Wow!" breathed Vince "It's perfect! Is that a TV?" he asked excitedly, pointing at the tiny, old fashioned TV set in the corner of the room that looked like it had been made in the 50's. "I've never had a TV of my own before" he laughed, jumping on to the sofa and springing up and down in enjoyment. "Ooooo, bouncy!" he giggled.
"Get down, you'll break it." laughed Howard.
"Sorry." grinned Vince, stepping off the sofa and just standing there for a while before running to the kitchen.
"Oh look, a kettle, cooker, cupboards." he said opening them all until he found "Mmmm, biscuits." and took them off the top shelf. "What one?" he asked, through a mouthful of digestive.
"No thanks. I'll see if I can find you a sleeping bag."
"Thanks" Vince said, sinking into the sofa and cramming anotherbiscuit in to his mouth.
Howard reappeared a few minutes later, his arms full of blankets, dragging a sleeping bag behind him.
"I can't find any pillows." he explained apologetically, laying the sleeping bag out and folding up the blankets to create a sort of makeshift pillow. "Is this going to be okay for you?"
"It's perfect!" said Vince, moving to stand by Howard. "Thank you." he added, his voice sounding strained and muffled.
"Vince, are you crying?"
"No." Vince said, quickly wiping a tear from his eye. "It's just… I can't believe you've done all this for me. I mean, I'm practically a stranger."
"You're not a stranger." Howard reassured him "We're friends, right?"
"Right." Vince nodded, grinning like a child.
"Okay," said Howard glancing at his watch. "I've got to get going or my mum will be worried about me. My dad probably wont. I think he likes the peace he gets when I'm not there." Howard chuckled feebly.
"I'm sure that's not true."
"Mmm, well, you sure you're alright now?"
"I'm fine. Stop fretting." Vince smiled.
Howard smiled to and said "Alright then, I'll see you in the morning."
"Bye." Vince waved cheerfully as Howard slipped out through the door and went home.
One more chapter to go! The end is nigh! Well I suppose, really, the beginning is nigh because this is all sorta leading up to where the episodes start. lol. I'm gonna stop rambling now.
Just to let everyone know:
I don't claim to own (well, I might claim to, but I don't own) The Mighty Boosh or The Rolling Stones. I do, however, own two stick insects, called Axl and Slash - if anyone's interested.
Thanks for reading!
Sisi…xx