AN: I know I've been aweful about getting this up, and you have been waiting, like forever for this, and here it is, finally. (I will accept the mental flogging that you want to do to me now.)
If you haven't noticed it, I've started to post Jae's journal in its entirety. hopefully you will read and like. I post that every friday if I can remember.
Dantooine, Jedi Temple, meditation chamber, 39:6:20
Anakin sat in the meditation chamber. It was above ground, though much of the Temple was not anymore, so light filtered in through the window. It was like the Grand Master's meditation chamber on Coruscant, but it was subtly different. The carpet was not amber and brown, but shades of dark red and the light patterns reminded him of bloodstains, though perhaps that was mostly his imagination.
The cushions were dark orange, a shade which complimented the carpet, and the walls were a rather neutral shade of brown, and the ceiling was a pale, but vibrant shade of yellow. He sighed, settling onto one of the orange cushions and began to meditate, convinced that the room would hinder his not very considerable ability to do so in the first place.
"A celebration of autumn, this room is."
Anakin's eyes popped open, revealing the blue shimmering form of Yoda. "Master," he said in acknowledgement. "I am troubled."
"See that I can."
"I don't know if this war is the right thing, or if it is all that I know."
"All that you know, it is not. Put to good use, your knowledge will be. Lay to rest your self-doubt, you must."
"How do I do that?"
"Know that already, you do. Doubt is an emotion as any other, though stronger for the long time it has been with you."
"What about Liz?"
"Her trials, she will face with the grace of a Skywalker, but her destiny lies not on the battlefield."
"I know she doesn't want to be here, but neither do I."
"Learn she must, the Art of War, but to teach to others, not to practice."
Anakin bowed his head. "I can see the wisdom of your words, Master."
"Not always have I believed you could, young Skywalker."
Anakin smiled as he looked back up at Master Yoda. There would be people for whom he would always be 'young Skywalker.' "Why have you come back to me?"
"Understand fully I now do, the changes you wrought with your trip back in time. Access I have to the memories of that sad reality."
"Did we do the right thing?"
"What was done is done. Only will time tell if it was best."
"Yes, Master," he said, and Yoda's form faded from his eyes. He closed them and began to meditate, to rid himself of the doubt he had carried inside since Palpatine had planted it so many years ago.
Coruscant, Jedi Temple, Jade-Skywalker Quarters, 39:6:21
Jasmine had been meditating for an hour every night since she'd become a Padawan, but it was quickly coming to her attention that it just wasn't enough time for her. She sighed, not quite knowing how to approach the subject. Anytime she'd heard one of the other Padawans talking about meditation, which wasn't often, it was to complain because they felt like they didn't need as much meditation as their masters thought they did.
"Mara, sometimes do Padawans meditate more than what they're supposed to?"
Her sister seemed taken aback by the question. "Sometimes additional meditation is assigned for a while in addition to a punishment for some wrongs a few Padawans insist upon doing, why?"
"So it's not normal to meditate for more than an hour?" she asked, trying to not have to ask the question she wanted the answer to until she was more sure of the answer.
"Well, it depends on the individual. Master Yoda normally used to spend about ten hours in meditation each day, and I don't think your father does any, ever, unless he's tied down and forced to do it. Normal is usually somewhere in the middle, for most Jedi."
"So can I meditate more?"
"Why do you feel the need to meditate more?"
"I still feel so confused about what happened with Jaedrea, I don't know if I'll ever understand why she felt in necessary to do what she did."
"You might ask her or your father. He apparently explained what happened to the satisfaction of the Council."
Jasmine nodded. Mara's advice was sound. "What about meditating?"
"Well, it will mean you have to give up some of the time you use for something else."
Jasmine hadn't considered that particular aspect of needing more time for meditation. "Like what?"
"Well, to start with, you might try doing a more efficient job with your homework. I know I always had problems with managing my time when I was doing homework."
She thought about it for a little while. "I think I could maybe do that. Is there anything else?"
"I'd hate to cut into your free time without need. If it were punishment, I'd have no problem with it, but not for this, but it's somewhere you can take time from."
"What else?"
"Well, you did want to take that class with Qui-Gon on the nature of the Living Force. You could meditate in the mornings instead of that."
"But that class is like meditating anyway."
Mara looked confused. "Do you mean it's boring?"
"No. You've never taken one of Master Qui-Gon's classes have you?"
"No, I haven't. The Living Force wasn't ever something that interested me," she said finally.
"You should come. It's great fun. Master Qui-Gon isn't quite like anyone else that I know. He's fun."
"I'll think about it, but isn't it just for people who are adept at the Living Force?"
"No, there are some Masters in there, and they're the stogy stick-in-the-sand types that will never get it, but they are trying. Master Qui-Gon is patient with them but I can tell he thinks that they are all full of Bantha Poodoo. He sets them off to one side so they don't get in the way of the rest of the class seeing and learning, but I don't think that they realize that."
"So how many people are in this class?"
"Oh, twenty or so. There are only three that I would say wouldn't know the Living Force if it came up to them and started talking to them."
"Do you think Master Qui-Gon would want me in his class?"
"Sure. He seems real nice to everybody, 'cept when they don't pay attention."
"I'll think about it."
"Ok. I think Daddy is maybe going to teach a class like that after Master Qui-Gon dies."
Mara looked horrified. "Why would you say such a thing?"
"Well, death is a part of the Force. He is going to join the Force someday, and somebody is going to have to teach about the Living Force. I think it helps if you're alive to teach about that."
"Do you think he's going to die sometime soon?"
"Well, he might. He's kinda old. It's hard to tell. It's not in the next couple of days."
"You are always full of surprises for me, Jaz," Mara said, then turned serious. "Why don't you get your homework done, and then we'll see what we can do about your meditation?"
"Yes, Mara," Jasmine replied, sighing, and going over to the dining room table, pulling out her datapad, and starting to work in earnest.
Dantooine, Jedi Temple, Mess Hall, 39:6:21
Liz was not happy, nor it seemed was her breakfast. Her father had insisted that she eat, but she didn't really want to, now it seemed as if her breakfast would soon go back to being uneaten. Her father had done his best to convince her that this was no different than lightsaber training, but she knew this was different, a lot different. There was no pure defense in this, no just wearing out a foe until they surrendered; this would involve death. Granted the likely foes would be droids, but in attempting to destroy them, some of her very living troops would die. She sighed; at least this was just an exercise and not the real thing.
"Nervous?" she nearly jumped out of her skin as her father spoke, "It is unbecoming of a Jedi to be so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she is unaware of her surroundings," he teased.
"Daddy, I'm going to be horrible at this," Liz said, not for the first time.
"You are a Skywalker, battle is in our blood. We are warriors," he insisted again.
"Then why don't I feel like one? I don't want to see anyone die, or get hurt."
"Would you rather see the droid armies overrun this place and kill whomever they please?"
Her thoughts immediately turned to those who would be most helpless in a battle, "NO! Not the crèchlings," her eyes hardened for the first time since this whole exercise started.
"That is a warrior's spirit, my child. You don't want to fight, you hate having to, but you realize there are worse things than fighting for what you believe in."
She sighed, still not totally believing him. "If you say so, Daddy. Still, I wish you were in command instead of me."
"This is just an exercise and you need the experience of commanding troops. Now focus and tell me how you've planned out your defenses."
"I put your battalion in the center, Oddball and Cody are flanking you, Oddball is on your left and Cody is on your right. I've also ordered them to keep scouts out. I don't know where Luke and Leia are setting up, however the terrain seems to favor any assault coming from either the north or the west. The south is a possibility, but I didn't feel it likely enough to spread out our limited forces, so I had the troops mine those approaches. Fortunately we have a shield in place which rules out an orbital bombardment," she told her Father, and was really rather embarrassed as she had put this together in the ten minutes before breakfast and had given the orders to Oddball and Cody just before then.
"Good solid plan, however you might have come up with it sooner. The troops are going to be hard pressed to get the minefield laid before noon. Never assume you'll have time to build your defenses. However, it's a good solid plan with what resources you have."
"We'll see."
Coruscant, Senate Rotunda, a small meeting room, 39:6:21
Cedric was sitting in a small committee of the Constitutional Convention. Everything felt so stilted and formal to him now. He was sure of what he was doing, sure that this was the best thing for the Republic, but that didn't make things any easier. The larger group had broken up into five smaller groups, each centered around one of the constitutions that had been presented. He was, for obvious reasons, working with the group that had been in favor of the last one presented. His constitution. He was thirteen, and there were a good number of adults who supported a document he had written. Not only that, but this was the largest of the five groups.
In some ways, it was the most exhilarating thing he'd ever done in his life, and in some ways it was the most terrifying. He was a Jedi, the representation of the Temple here in these proceedings. He needed to be able to present a strong front and a good face for the Temple, but he wasn't sure how to do that. He felt so small when he considered that he was the person that these politicians were looking to for leadership. He wasn't ready for this, or for any of a number of other things going on in his life.
He pushed the anxiety he was feeling into the Force, and he took a deep breath, realizing that everyone was waiting for him to start. "I think that this should be the basis of the new constitution," he said, holding his datapad up. "But I also think that some of the ideas that were presented by the other constitutions deserve to be looked at, and could easily be integrated into this document."
"What do you want to integrate?" an older, gruff man that reminded him of his Uncle Owen asked.
"From the first Constitution presented, Mon Mothma's, the way that representation is determined, the standardization, I think is something that we could use, and would really go a long way to making things more equitable."
"That Logarithmic scale?" one of the Senators from Coruscant, a larger Twi'lek man asked in horror.
"Yes," Cedric answered, and then explained, "It would make things more manageable. Mon Mothma's suggestion is to begin at a planetary population of 10 million, and give planets that are that size one senator. Coruscant and a couple of other ecumenopoli, like Dennon, would get 46, but that is a bit better than the two hundred thousand senators Coruscant would be allowed as what I've written would stand. I hadn't thought about the logistics of that particular aspect of things when I was putting this together."
He waited as they spoke among themselves about the change he proposed, sitting back and watching quietly as was his custom.
Dantooine, Jedi Temple complex, battlegrounds, 39:6:21
Luke and Leia didn't sleep at all; they knew they would be facing the greatest warrior in the history of the Republic, and they were determined to beat him. They settled on dividing their force and hitting in two places, Leia would take command of the larger force while Luke took the smaller force. Their plan was for Leia's force to hit from the north, frontal assault, preceded by a heavy artillery barrage, though this would be simulated, and wouldn't break up the defensive works as a real one would have, but hopefully taking down some of the defenders would force them to commit to that attack. The objective for them was to occupy the Temple and hold it for an hour, this was Luke's job with his smaller force; he would come up from the south, through the swamp. The plan was to start the battle at dawn, as the attacking force, Luke and Leia had the option of striking at any time, they chose early.
Luke and his force trudged through the swamp, it reminded him a little of Dagobah, but less gloomy. He stayed off the main paths through the swamp, figuring that his father would have made sure that those approaches would be well mined at the very least. That was when one of clones radioed in, "Contact with Op Force, repeat, contact with Op Force."
"Copy, contact with Op Force, what are they doing?" he said into his helmet mike.
"Mining the path, six squads, repeat, six squads."
"Are they responding to the attack?"
"Negative, they are continuing mining operations, permission to engage?"
Luke thought a moment, weighing the risks. They were still a kilometer from the open grounds around the Temple, and the last thing he needed was his surprise blown.
"Negative, stay clear and don't be seen," Luke ordered.
"Yes, sir."
They continued until they reached the end of the swamp, then stopped. The engagement was in full swing by the time they got there, and Luke smiled, this is working perfectly.
"CHARGE!" Luke screamed and his force surged forward toward the Temple, no opposition faced them at all, then about halfway across the field, Luke's armor seized up and he landed face first in the grass, his HUD displaying that he'd been killed by a shot to the head. Once he acknowledged his "death" the HUD displayed the whole of the exercise, and Luke, winced, they were losing, badly now. Leia's frontal assault was never going to breach the Temple and Luke's command structure had been completely taken out by snipers on the roof of the Temple. The remain rank and file troops, to their credit, kept trying , but the troops that had been laying mines were coming out of the swamp now and engaging his disarrayed force, by the time the fire fight was over, nearly his entire command was either dead, or stuck hiding from the snipers. Luke sighed, not looking forward to the debriefing.
Coruscant, Jedi Temple, Skywalker Central, 39:6:21
Celia was home early to talk to Cedric. He was only supposed to be at the Senate for half a day, because there were some business meetings that needed to be conducted, though few people had any respect for the Republic's government structure any longer. Most of the Core and a majority of the Mid Rim still followed the will of Coruscant out of habit more than anything. However the disintegration of the government was the last thing on his sister's mind.
"Why won't you talk about this?" she asked.
"I'm not sure what you are even asking about," he said with a sigh, though he knew what she most likely wanted to know.
"You, who would be Jedi, can't talk about your feelings?" she teased.
Another sigh, "Yup. You know I don't talk about them, sis."
"But I want to know. What's it like knowing you're going to be a parent?"
"Why don't you ask Luke?"
"It's not the same," she said with a look that said he wasn't getting out of it.
"Why do you want to know so bad?" he asked, the first step to him caving in to her.
"Because, I do," she told him, and she was so earnest about it that he couldn't resist her much longer.
"I don't see why, my situation is not one you'll ever face, at least you won't if there is any justice in the universe," he protested.
"So you aren't going to tell me anything?" she asked, knowing that she had him.
Cedric was quiet for a long moment, "I'm scared," he said finally, "I know I won't be the principle care giver for this child, which frightens me, and I also know I'll be the one responsible if he becomes a Sith. I don't think Sev'rance wants to turn him right now, but she's walking perilously close to falling again. If she falls, and takes my child with her and I can't redeem him…" unshed tears hung in his eyes. His sister hugged him.
"You won't face that alone," she assured him.
"Yes I will, I'll have too." That statement stunned his sister into silence. He shared the silence until he couldn't take it any longer. "That's one of the things I've seen in my nightmares."
"Cedric…"
"I know, I can't let visions run my life, but it's so hard not to think about what she might do."
"I know. But it's all mights and maybes. She hasn't done it yet," she said, trying to be positive, to bring Cedric out of his dark mood.
"I shouldn't have to do this. I shouldn't be frightened because of what's already happened to my son, even before he's born. I wish I could just have a normal life."
Celia took a moment to answer. "You wouldn't be a Skywalker then."