Jacob transformed and took off through the woods after her. He followed her, focusing on her thoughts. They were jumbled; a mess. He caught pieces here and there, small thoughts that she seemed unable to keep from her subconscious. Wedding...Flowers...Emily...Pain...Hurts...Selfish...Sam...

After a few moments, her thoughts stopped. She could have been blocking them out all together, but Jacob thought maybe she'd reached her destination and gone back to her human-form. He continued to follow her scent to a small opening in the trees. Leah stood in the middle of the small clearing, facing away from him. She stared off in the distance, focused on nothing. Jacob, back in human-form and pulling on his shorts, tried his best to ignore the fact that she stood there in front of him, naked, her sun dress discarded and forgotten on the ground. His eyes glanced over her body, embarrassed at his own lack of restraint.

She was taller now that she was a wolf. Not as tall as the rest of the pack, but taller than most of the other women on the reservation. Her whole body was lean and sleek, her tan skin mesmerizing in the soft glow of the early sun. Her long dark hair blew behind her in soft waves. She was powerful and beautiful. Jacob knew she had always been so; being a wolf only enhanced it.

The power imprinting had over Sam must have been immeasurable, Jacob thought, because Leah was incredible. He had always liked Emily, usually better than Leah, but looking at her now; now knowing the things he knew, feeling as he did, he couldn't understand how anyone could give her up.

"You followed me," she said simply, breaking the silence without turning around.

"Yeah..." he said uncertainly, releasing the breath he'd been holding. He shuffled forward a little, unsure of what to do now that he was there.

"Sam talked to you all, before I got here."

"Yeah... how'd you know? We weren't supposed to think about it..."

"You weren't."

"Oh."

"I kind of figured it out when Seth tried leaving early without me."

Jacob shifted uncomfortably. Leah still hadn't turned around. "What did he say to you?"

"He said... um... you know, not to bug you. Ignore you if you were being, you know..."

"A bitch?"

He sighed. "Yeah."

Her lip quivered, and her shoulders began to shake with unshed tears. "Fuck him," she choked, her voice cracking as her composure broke completely. "Fuck him," she said with less conviction, barely getting it out between sobs.

She sank down to the ground, head in her hands as she continued to cry. Jacob went to her, knelt down to gather her in his arms and hold her close to her chest.

"You were right," she sobbed. "You were right. Sam doesn't want me. He's not mine, he never loved me. He could he when he knows what it's like to love Emily? I was a mistake, a worthless mistake." Her body shook violently as she cried; Jacob felt his heart tear for the beautiful, broken girl in his arms.

"Shh... Leah, c'mon. Don't think that. It's not true. It's not true," he murmured into her ear, running his fingers through her hair.

"Yes it is."

"No, it's not. Leah, I'm sorry I said it. I didn't mean it, not really. I was frustrated and I took it out on you. Leah, I'm a jackass. I'm sorry."

His apologies only seemed to make her cry harder.

"I'm so sorry, Leah," he said softly into her hair.

"It's not... that's not... that's not why I'm out here, like this..." she said, hesitantly.

He looked down at her, worried. "Did something happen?"

Her body tensed again as she bit her lip hard, eyes cast down. She nodded.

"What?"

"I..." she trailed off, trying nearly unsuccessfully to hold onto any sense of composure, her eyes refusing to leave the ground.

"Leah?"

"She asked me to be a bride's maid," she blurted out quickly, as if the quicker she said it, the less it would hurt.

"What?"

"Emily," Leah sighed, defeated. "Earlier tonight. She asked me if I would be her maid of honor."

The exhausted pain in her voice was evident. It killed Jacob to see her like this. It didn't matter that only three nights prior he had thought her nothing but a bitter harpy. It didn't matter that these new feelings were not of his own choosing (though, really, are they ever?). He looked at Leah, crumbled in his arms, and for a flash of a moment, he hated Sam and Emily. No wonder she'd been so blank all night. Sam's warning made sense now. What Jacob couldn't understand was why they'd even asked. She masked it with contempt, and pissed the pack off to no end, but it didn't take a genius to see how hurt she'd been the last year. Sam knew that better than anyone, and for Emily to ask that of her, to Jacob it seemed... stupid. A wave of protectiveness washed over him and he held her tighter. Hadn't she been through enough?

"What did you say?" he asked as fresh tears began streaming down her face.

"I said no," she said, choking back a sob as she finally looked him in the eye, silently pleading with him to understand. "I said no. I had to say no. I can't do it, Jake. I just can't. I wanted so badly to say yes. We've been talking about our weddings since we were ten. I would be her maid of honor and she would be mine. But I never thought... it's wrong, it's all... wrong... I was supposed to... he wasn't supposed to... oh god!" Leah cried out as fresh sobs wracked her body. She buried herself into Jacob's chest as he held her. He stayed silent, being what she needed; something to hold onto.

After a few moments, she calmed down again a little, Jacob waiting patiently for her to begin talking again.

"It hurt her that I said no, but she's not... we just aren't us anymore, you know?

Ever since... everything... we've barely spoken. We haven't been alone in the same room together for months. I can barely look at her. I just hate her so much sometimes. And I feel guilty for hating her because logically I know it isn't her fault, but then I just hate her more for making me feel guilty when I'm the one whose heart got broken!

If I can barely look at her, how am I supposed to stand beside her on the altar while she marries the only man I've ever really loved? God, Jake, I wanted to say yes to her, I really did. She's my family, my blood, but–" she stopped, shaking her head, tears welling up again. "I'm so stupid. You probably hate me more now than you already did."

"No, Leah, that's not true. Don't stop because you think that. Say whatever you need to say." He ran a hand comfortingly through her hair.

"I just... it was supposed to be my wedding! It was supposed to be me standing next to him, just like he always promised me. How can I watch from the sidelines with some fake smile on my face when I spent my entire childhood thinking the ring she's wearing was going to be mine?"

Jacob sighed for what seemed to him the millionth time that night. He'd been suffering for Bella the last few months. Sam had been Leah's life for years.

"Did you say all that to Emily? What did she say?"

Leah shook her head. "When she asked me, I just sort of sat there for a while, staring at her like an idiot. I mean, I knew they were planning on getting... but then she was asking me and all of a sudden it was real. I didn't know what to say. I just sort of shook my head, got up and left. Walked home. She didn't try and stop me or anything, but she must have called my mother 'cause she was waiting for me on the porch when I finally got back. She was so pissed. We really got into it. She kept yelling at me that I had to do it, that it wasn't my choice. That I was selfish and awful and you don't do that to family. I told her that usually family members don't steal each other's boyfriends."

"What'd she say to that?"

"Pretty much told me to grow up," she said with a shrug. "But that's how it is with everybody. It's fate so I should just grow up and deal. Always fate. Never choice. Sam didn't have a choice about Emily. I didn't get a choice about being a werewolf. Apparently I don't have a choice about being a bride's maid, either. I'm so sick of every not being about choice."

"You're not going to do it, are you?"

"No, regardless of what my mother says. Maybe I am being a childish bitch, but everybody just keeps expecting me to be strong for everyone else's sake. It's exhausting."

"But you are strong, Leah. You're one of the strongest people I know."

"I thought I was just a bitter harpy?" she said, bitter sarcasm lacing her words.

"We're idiots, Leah. And you are strong. I ran away from my pain. You have your's head-on every day."

"Oh, yeah. That's me. Real strong. Trapped in a hell mostly of my own making."

"Leah..."

"No, it's fine. It's not like any of you are wrong. I am a bitter harpy. The things I do, the things I think. What I put Sam through every night. I'm not surprised you all hate me. Can't blame you, really. I'd hate me, too."

"Why do you do that, Leah?" he ventured, cautiously. "Why put Same through all that?"

"Yeah, right. Like you really want to know."

"I do."

She rolled her eyes. "You'll probably just go squeal to the pack. Just what they need, more reason to look at me like a freak."

"I'm not going to do that, I swear. I'm just... trying to understand."

She didn't say anything, just looked away from him.

"Leah, please?"

She sighed. "Fine."

She was quiet for a moment, collecting her thoughts, and again Jacob waited patiently.

"I was almost getting better for a while. I still had school, and I could avoid Sam and Emily. I wouldn't take any of her phone calls, and eventually she just stopped trying. They both did. I had my memories to deal with, but nothing fresh to open the wounds. I still thought about him constantly, but I could make it through a whole day without crying. Not great progress, but progress just the same.

Daddy was the only one who really seemed to get it. Mom feels bad, but she looks at it the same way the rest of the reservation does. Poor Leah, but it's fate. Sad Leah, but Sam and Emily are so happy... It's destiny, it's custom, and my 'situation,'" she spat out the word like she'd heard it far too many times before, "is just a little setback

Dad got it, though. It didn't matter that it technically wasn't Sam's choice, he understood that it didn't make it hurt any less. He'd tell me not to worry, that Sam didn't imprint on somebody else because I wasn't good enough for him, but because he wasn't good enough for me. I don't think I ever really believed him, but everyone was so focused on Sam and Emily's happiness. Dad made it seem okay to focus on my own."

"Your dad was a great man, Leah."

"Yeah, he was. But he's gone. Dead. And I'm a werewolf, and the precious balance I'd found was gone, just like that.

I didn't know anything about werewolves. I mean, I knew Seth was one, knew the legends were real, but that was about it. Seth didn't like to talk about it much, at least not in front of me. I know he's heard me, sometimes, in my room, crying. He doesn't like to mention Sam in front of me if he can help it. I don't know if he really cares, or if he just doesn't know how to deal with crying girls," she shook her head, chuckling softly at her brother. Then she continued.

"So then I'm a freaking werewolf, and I find out all of you can hear my thoughts."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh. Remember the night I first changed?"

"Kind of..."

"It was awful. I had no idea how it all worked. I'm on the forest floor, withering in pain, and then Sam's in my head and I can hear everything and so can he. We were always so... in tune to each other when we were together. I guess it didn't go away at all, or maybe it was because it was all new, but I heard everything all at once, everything he thought and felt about Emily... things I don't think he even realized he was thinking... memories they share that made me want to throw myself off a cliff."

"I don't remember hearing anything like that in his head that night."

She shrugged. "I don't know why I heard it and the rest of you didn't. Maybe 'cause you guys wouldn't care. Maybe I was looking for it. I don't know. All I know is I heard it, and the rules changed."

"How so?"

"I... I spent all that time, building back a balance in my life that was really no balance at all. To me it was progress, only crying myself to sleep every other night, but to everyone else..."

"You didn't want Sam to see it?"

"Yeah. It seemed easier to let him think that I hadn't moved on at all, rather than know that I'd been trying to move on and was failing miserably,"

"So that's why you think all those things?"

"I didn't want you all to see how sad I really was. How pathetic I was. I can handle being a freak, but I don't want pity. I may be broken, but I was never made of glass. I figured a bunch of boys wouldn't understand.

And Sam felt so... guilty; it's almost ridiculous. But it doesn't stop him from thinking about Emily every night. I figured blunt anger is a good defense mechanism. Sam gets to feel less guilty this way. Imagine how guilty he'd feel if I burst into tears every night during patrol." She rolled her eyes at this.

Jacob laughed a little in spite of himself. "Sorry, I'm just trying to picture a werewolf crying."

"Yeah, well. It's not selfless. I know I'm being a bitch, thinking the things I do. But when I first changed, I panicked. Dad was gone, I had nobody to talk to, I was a freaky female werewolf. It's awful, I get that, but it was just... easier that way. And the more you all hate me, the more I could hate all of you and that made it even easier."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not realizing."

"Please. I'm not a saint or something. I'll be the first to admit that my motives are all mostly selfish. Hell hath no fury and all that."

"Still. You're a part of the pack. We should have known. We should have... I don't know... paid better attention or something," he said, feeling like an idiot, unable to believe they'd all written her off so quickly.

"Whatever, Jake. It's not a big deal. I kind of feel like a jackass now, anyway. I don't know why I just dumped all that on you. We don't exactly have too many heart-to-hearts."

"It's fine, Leah. You can tell me anything. I want to be here for you."

She raised one eye brow at him, skeptically. "Why? I was too upset to question it earlier, but why are you being touchy-feely all of a sudden?"

"I..."

"I mean, til now, all you've ever done since I became a werewolf is constantly remind me that I'm the biggest bitch on the planet."

"Well... I..."

"Jake. Why are you here? Why did you follow me tonight?"

Her eyes narrowed at him, face set, quietly demanding an answer. The look he gave her was one of slight terror. He didn't know where to begin, but couldn't hold it in any longer, so he blurted it out loudly, in a rush.

"I imprinted."