Typical Disclaimers Apply

A/N: A substantially more serious plot twist is coming up. Not in this chapter but the next. Just warning you…

Also, human transfiguration (in this case) isn't like the Polyjuice Potion, which is why the voice doesn't change.

--

"But don't you think he'll check here?" Sirius leaned in to whisper. They'd packed up their trunks as though they were leaving. Students had turned to beg them to stay, but they'd stayed staring straight ahead. Only McGonagall caught Esme's eye as she passed, seeing that glint of mischief behind her neutral expression. After they were sure they were no longer being followed, Esme and Sirius ducked into the Room of Requirement.

"I'm not worried," Esme shrugged, running her hand over the wood-paneled wall. "He'll be too busy with the students protesting our departure."

"You think rather highly of us," Sirius smirked, eyeing the warm bed covered in a scarlet duvet. His gaze lingered, but then he frowned. "There's still a huge risk of someone bursting in—" At that point McGonagall just about flew into the room, her glasses askew and her strict bun falling out. "…just like that," he finished weakly as Esme clutched her chest.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"You deserve one, you stupid, stupid girl!" McGonagall cried. "You must be completely out of your mind! The moment they find you, and trust me, they will find you, you'll be killed!"

"Minerva you honestly have nothing to worry about," Esme said flippantly.

"Nothing to worry about? Nothing to worry about?! How can you possibly say that?!" Esme shrugged. "Two of my ex-students, neither of whom is known for making the best of choices, are hiding out right under Snape's nose!"

"Exactly!" Esme cried. "It's Snape!"

"Yes, it's Snape! It's the man who's allowing his students to be tortured!"

"That's why we need to stay here!"

"What protection can you honestly be?" she asked coldly. "You have lost your ability to interact with the students. They don't even know you're here, and if they do find out, they could be risking their necks." This seemed to make Esme and Sirius think for a few moments. "And you have no access to food! It's one of the exceptions to Gamp's Law of—"

"Aren't we directly above the kitchens?" Sirius inquired, interrupting her.

"Well, yes, but you're certain to get caught if you go down there! And even if, by some miracle, you do get down there, the house elves are instructed to report any invaders, which now includes you!"

"They won't serve us…." Sirius muttered, looking over Esme's slim, short frame. A light of recognition dawned behind Esme's eyes.

"…but they'd definitely serve a student. Especially," she added, looking over at the set of school robes that now lay on the bed, "a Slytherin."

--

On the outside, the world was bleak. The sacking of Esme and Sirius had sucked the joy and life out of many of the students. At the end of Transfiguration, almost everyone would perk up their ears, hoping to hear the words "Remedial Transfiguration" escape McGonagall's lips. But it never came, and they'd leave class dejected and depressed. Even during Muggle Studies, the students had grown to bite their tongues. Sure, every so often a brave soul would rise and contradict, but they'd be silenced with a slash of the large knife Alecto had come to display during class.

On the first day of February, Esme and Sirius had awoken to cries of joy from the students and cries of horror from the Carrows. Silently, Esme slipped out of bed and pulled on the Slytherin robes that the room had provided. Then she approached the mirror. She'd found a small photo of an already graduated Slytherin girl, Margaret O'Hanlon. The girl was about Esme's height, but with a stronger jaw line, straight blonde hair, and brown eyes. She leaned into the mirror, and pulled out her wand. Focus, she thought. Focus on Margaret. But what if Snape still recognized her? Would he know her mannerisms and expressions? Or Ginny, what about her? Could she still see her sister in another girl's body? No, she couldn't worry about that now. Slowly, she began the transfiguration.

When she looked up at herself in the mirror, it was clear something had gone, horribly, horribly wrong. Her hair was not only blonde, but also spotted with red and black, making it a horrible color that should not be. Her eyes were murky, with no distinguishable color to them. She also seemed to be built like a male Quidditch player with breasts. But there was no turning back now.

"It'll have to do." She turned towards Sirius, "How do I look?" He recoiled.

"Scary. Very, very scary. Try not to talk to anybody."

"Darling, the only ones who could possibly recognize my voice are Ginny and him, and I don't plan on talking to either," she pulled on a pair of clogs and left.

Her heart was absolutely racing. This was the first time more than one person would see her disguise. Following the sound of laughter and cheers, she sprinted down the stairs, towards the kitchen.

"What is going on here?" She turned a sharp corner and smashed right into Snape, who seemed to have just arrived. He stared at her for nearly a full minute, meeting her eyes. Once his began to narrow, she broke the gaze. There's no possible way he could have recognized me, she comforted herself as she turned to face the wall and bit back a smile.

"Excuse me miss." She flinched at his call.

"Yes?" Perhaps making her voice high and squeaky and unpleasantly sing-song wasn't the best idea."

"I don't believe I know you."

"Oh, well," she squeaked. "I'm a Slytherin!"

"What's your name?" He was trying to sound pleasant, even conversational, but he wasn't holding back his malice all too well.

"Um…Clarissa. Clarissa McJagersteinamanson." Snape stared at her for at least a minute before she turned and fled, catching sight of the corridor's wall.

"Bring back the Blacks!" was scrawled across the wall in what seemed to be crimson and gold spray paint. Esme attempted to push herself through the crowd as a means to get a better view.

"Hey watch it!" someone snapped.

"Sorry," Esme muttered, turning to see Ginny glaring at her. Suddenly, in a very Snape-like manner, her eyes narrowed.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?"

"No. Absolutely not." But as she said that, Ginny went very, very pale.

"Oh my God," she gasped. "Oh my God! You didn't—" Esme shushed her quickly.

"You didn't see anything," Esme hissed.

"Where are you—?" Fortunately, she was cut off by Snape.

"EVERYBODY, BACK TO YOUR DORMITORIES!" he bellowed over the noise.

"You didn't see anything," she repeated before sprinting away from the scene.

--

"We are so screwed!" Esme cried, throwing herself facedown on the bed.

"Who recognized you?" Sirius asked, sounding like he couldn't possibly care less.

"Ginny. And possibly Severus. But definitely Ginny."

"'Possibly' Snape?"

"He looked at me for a long time. I think he realized that he'd never seen me as a student before and put two and two together. The name I gave him probably didn't help."

"It doesn't sound like he's a threat to us," Sirius said absently. "What was all the ruckus about?"

"Oh, some people decided they wanted us to be their teachers again…"

"All the excitement was over that?"

"…and they painted it all over a wall."

--

"I don't know what that skank of a teacher taught you all," Alecto growled, "but no Muggle has ever created any sort of work of literature or artwork." It had been a rather difficult two weeks for Alecto; ever since Esme and Sirius had been sacked, students had been challenging everything she said. They'd throw all of the little facts that Sirius had taught them at her every time she opened her mouth. Fortunately for Amycus, this left a lot more students in his detentions.

"Esmeralda Black wasn't a skank!" Neville yelled, standing up. Several students cringed inwardly at his burst of courage. "She was a good and respectable woman and professor—unlike you." That shifted something within Alecto.

"Why you little, you despicable, you brat!" She raised her wand to him. "This school would be better without the likes of you." Neville went very white, but instead of sitting back down, he dashed out of the room. Alecto eyed the class dangerously.

"Do anything and trust me, I will know." Then she sprinted after him, leaving the class in a stunned silence.

Because she'd paused to threaten her class, Neville was already several meters ahead of her. She ran like mad, knocking over anyone who dared to block her path. As she tore past the Defense Against the Dark Arts room, Amycus turned just in time to see her, and he joined the chase.

"Who are we chasing?" he panted.

"Longbottom," she growled. They were catching up. All he needed to do was trip and he'd be theirs.

Neville ran like mad up a huge flight of stairs, praying that this would be the one. He knew it was wiser to stay in the flat hallways, where he couldn't trip, but all of the passageways were blocked off and ducking into a classroom was as good an idea as jumping off a cliff. He jumped off the last stair, just in time to hear the whole gigantic structure creak. He turned around to watch it, and the Carrows, swing nearly halfway around the castle. Then he bolted.

He dashed blindly through the halls, not watching for anyone in his way at all until—"Oof!" He crashed into just the right person.

"Ginny?"

"Neville? What're you doing?"

"Running from the Carrows. You?"

"Ditching class." He stared at her, dumbfounded, for a moment, but still continued.

"Look, Ginny, I need a place to hide, really badly. Alecto wants to kill me, and it's only so long 'til they catch up!"

"No worries, I know a place."

"Really?"

"Duh. It should've been the first place you thought of." Suddenly it dawned on him.

"Ohhh!"

--

"Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, they caught us last time…"

"I wouldn't worry," Ginny whispered, wrapping her fingers around the doorknob. "I have a hunch…" she twisted the knob, pulling the door open. They stepped inside, and once the bright light flooded their eyes, both the inhabitants and the invaders screamed bloody murder.

"Oh, Ginny!" Esme gasped, while everyone else just stared, slack-jawed. "You scared me half to death!" Ginny stared at her, too stunned to speak. "Care for some tea?"

--

A/N: Plot? Not so happy from here on out.

Sirius: Clarissa McJagersteinamanson?! Dear Merlin, you're worse at making up names than an original character fanfiction author!

A/N: And in the next chapter, Sirius gets hit by a truck. Six times.