Typical Disclaimers Apply

A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates. My life had been crazy, but it's finally starting to even out. Please still review. I don't think you'll be disappointed with this chapter.

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Snape turned even paler than usual, resembling a sort of sickly green by this time. For what felt like hours he couldn't say anything. His mouth was filled with sawdust, and it felt like he may vomit if he opened it. Esme, though frail and weak, was glaring at him with enough force to send him off his feet. The snarl of the words was still on her lips, You sure as hell didn't give me a chance when you attacked me last Christmas! But it was true. He hadn't given her a chance, and he couldn't explain himself.

"You knew?" he finally stuttered. Her glare deepened, piercing him. The portraits sat silently, watching them with wide eyes.

"I knew?" she laughed hoarsely. "Of course I knew. I wouldn't let myself forget for too long." Her words were less than bullets, more like heat-seeking missiles, ready to take him down with perfect accuracy.

"H-how long?" he choked. She let out a maniacal laugh. For a moment she looked like Bellatrix.

"How long?" she rasped. "Oh, only since you killed Dumbledore. Only since the night when you betrayed us all. How many people have you hurt, Severus? How many people have stood in your way, blocking you from becoming You-Know-Who's favorite little Death Eater? And how long as it taken you to get rid of them?"

"Esme, please!" he gasped. "You don't understand this. I—"

"No, how could I possibly understand you?" She pointed at him dramatically. A tiny spot of blood on her arm appeared beneath her nightclothes. "How could anyone possibly understand Severus Snape? Of course, it's not that he's some evil murderer," she simpered, "he's just misunderstood."

"Esme—" the spot was growing bigger, but it didn't seem to bother her.

"Poor Severus," she simpered. "He's had such a tough life. So unloved. His daddy picked on him. My daddy picked on him." She smiled poisonously, "But I suppose he 'got him back' by betraying him to the Dark Lord." Snape's eyes widened. She had to be feeling pain by now. The stain was larger than his fist. But she just laughed. "Surprised? Of course Harry told me everything. And why shouldn't he?"

"Esme—"

"You had us all fooled, Snape. But I won't be your fool again—"

"Esme you're bleeding!" he finally yelped. She nearly jumped off of the sofa examining herself for a wound. "Here," he muttered, pushing up her sleeve. He pressed the tip of his wand to the gash. After a few lines of the incantation, it was sealed. She looked him in the eyes.

"Why did you do that?" she whispered.

"So you don't pass out again because you won't take the damned Blood Replenishing Potion!" he finally snapped. Esme stared at him, the fire behind her eyes diminishing.

"Why do you even care?" she muttered. "Why rescue me when you so easily let everyone else die? How am I any different?"

"Esme…"

"You didn't care when six teenagers ran away to the Ministry of Magic. You just said I was obligated to go. Everyone in the Order had to go and protect him. I thought you'd be there. I thought you were one of us." She swallowed heavily.

"Esme, that was when I was still playing the double spy. I couldn't go; I'd risk everything. And I knew you could handle it. You always do."

"You killed Dumbledore," she repeated, this time at a very strained whisper.

"I know, I did. I didn't have a choice."

"You always have a choice."

"Please," he whispered. "Just let me explain myself." She just looked at him. "It was nearly eighteen years ago. I overheard something I shouldn't have. A private prophecy about a boy who could bring down the Dark Lord. Needless to say, I returned my information to my master. I didn't realize who it pertained to." He looked away, out the window and over the grounds. "In that one action, I completely betrayed someone I loved."

"James?" she asked, sounding very confused. "You loved my dad?"

"No, not James!" he snapped. "Lily! I was in love with Lily! I hated your father."

"So you were glad to see him die?" she asked coldly.

"No, Esme. Absolutely not. I begged the Dark Lord to leave them, that it was some other child. I even turned to Dumbledore, hoping he could offer them some protection. But it was all in vain." He shook his head. "He killed her all the same. Only Harry was left, and I swore to Dumbledore that I would do all that I could to keep him safe."

"And yet he's off somewhere, hiding from Death Eaters."

"Yes," Snape nodded. "I'm not doing a very good job right now. But let me continue. About two years ago, it became clear that Dumbledore was dying." Esme's forehead crinkled, but she didn't say anything. "And the Dark Lord was making it clear that he wanted Draco to kill him. Of course, neither of them knew that, had Draco not been assigned his death, Dumbledore would probably have died in bed sometime that week." Snape shrugged a little, smiling. "But Dumbledore knew about Draco, and he knew he wouldn't be able to finish his task, so he assigned it to me."

Esme stared at him for a nearly a minute. "You're kidding."

"It's the truth," it wasn't Snape who'd spoken, but rather Dumbledore. "Yes, Esme, as strange as it sounds, that's how everything happened."

Esme shook her head, "I really, really wish I moved to Switzerland when I had the chance." Snape just watched her. He couldn't help but wonder if everything may have turned out better if Esme had just disappeared after she graduated. She'd while away the hours in some distant mountain, creating potions under the watchful eye of the famed Gregor von Straus, Potions Master. She'd never be attacked. She'd be safe.

"Do you have any other questions?" Snape asked softly.

"You altered my marks," she murmured.

"What?"

"You altered my marks, you pushed me out a window, and you've always been extraordinarily unkind to me."

"I never altered your marks," Snape said, shaking his head disbelievingly.

"Yes, you did!" she cried hoarsely. "I should have gotten an O in Potions seventh year; I know I past my N.E.W.T. perfectly, but I only received an E! You must have lowered my test score!"

"I would never do that!" he gasped, almost laughing. "Esme, altering a N.E.W.T. could get me fired! You got an E because you barely ever showed up for class!" She stared at him, dumbfounded.

"You were still very cruel," she finally said. Snape stayed silent for several moments, staring out the window.

"You're right," he whispered.

"Yes, I often am. What am I right about this time?"

"Everything. You've been right about everything since you woke up. You can't trust me. I've betrayed the entire Wizarding World. I'm cruel and hateful, and I've always pulled dangerous stunts. Especially with you." He closed his eyes and turned farther away from Esme. "But I had my reasons. I never thought you'd be safe here; there was always going to be some student whose family had been turned apart by your grandfather. There'd always be someone seeking revenge. Even outside of the school, you'd wear your name like the mark of Cain.

"And then came Bellatrix. She's always been more of threat to you than the Dark Lord. He still battles with himself over killing you. He still hopes you'll turn on the Weasleys, come to his side. He wants you to be Marcus, and bow to his command. But Bellatrix, she sees too much of herself in you. Your spirit and your fight. She hates you for being like her. She hates that there's someone else in the world who's as ruthless in battle as her. She and Alecto have been in contact this whole year, trying to bring you down. I dismissed you with the hopes that you might actually leave." He laughed a bit, "I should have known better.

"I've always wanted you out of the country, but not for selfish reasons. I've sworn to protect your brother, that's true. But even more, ever since the day you were Sorted into Gryffindor, I've made it my duty to protect you. You mean more to me than anything else in the world."

"Where are you going with this, Severus?" she whispered. He finally turned and looked at her.

"I love you Esme."

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